Hollywood's Hottest Boobs...

The IWS Person(s) of the Week are Hollywood's best boobies. I mean, why not?

Kaley Cuoco ...

Katy Perry ... 

Nicki Minaj ... 

Kate Upton 

And ... Who says boobs have be huge to be awesome? Natalie Portman ...

Wooooooooo! Boobies!!! Also, we'll be talking boobies along with Valentine's Day recap, 50 Shades of Grey garbage and other important things on "Pathetic People, Presidents and Boobies" on IWS Radio Sunday at 12 Noon ET!!

Rejection, Heartache, Hot Sisters and the Final Four

Holaaaaaaaaaaaa! Yet another EPIC episode of IWS Radio this week y’all! We totally brought the funny for the whole 2 hours. Well, most of it anyway.  We…

Had a great Final Four discussion with both Slyder Balzcock and then from Dusty Sandman and Charles Barkley in IWS Air Action One HIGHHHHHH above North Texas

Nipsey Russell has some thoughts on the Championship Game …

The NCAA’s have been so exciting this year
All I can do is sit and cheer
Kentucky seems to have finally clicked
And UConn is gonna get their ass kicked 

Enjoyed some words of inspiration from Ma Tibbles

Relaxed to the soothing dulcet tones of Paula Piatt in the Poetry Corner

Told stories of rejection and heartache that will live in the deepest, darkest parts of our broken souls forever.

Had a great discussion about who’s the hotter sister. It started with Hallie vs Hillary Duff which we disagree on, but do agree that once they had spelled Haylie’s name with the “ie” that they should have spelled Hillary’s name with the “ie” also for consistency sake. Anyway, we then discussed the relative hotness of Brittney vs Jamie Lynn Spears, Paris vs Nicky Hilton and Ashlee vs Jessica Simpson as well as other hot sister duos.

Heard from the loveable and adorable Schmoop and the sad news she received this week.

Got brought back to our happy place as Bobby Kraft regaled us with some of the most popular and hilarious tweets on Favstar.

Got even happier when Phil Diller took the stage in Aberdeen and brought the funny.

And OH SO MUCH MORE!!!! Totally check that show out!

                               

Check Out Comedy Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

Stream of Haikuciousness...When Matt-Man Develops His Spontaneous Asian Side

Yesterday on the IWS website, Jayman posted an exquisitely done stream of consciousness post.  I mean…

It was so damn well done, that while the tears of James Joyce were falling from Heaven, Jayman was receiving a call from the Ted Cruz organization begging Jayman to be their filibuster writer from here on out.

So?  I thought I’d do a little stream of consciousness writing myself, however…

Just to mix it up a little, I thought I’d stream my consciousness in the form of haikus.

So here ya go, Matt-Man’s Stream of Haikusciousness…

This winter drags on
Will it end anytime soon?
I seriously doubt it.

This Steel Reserve
Is quite tasty and so warm,
Fuck Mother Nature.

I’m off this Sunday
Facebook friends better beware,
Ima gonna drink.

Sausage, toast, and eggs
That sounds incredibly good.
So much effort though.

I just lit a smoke
I take a deep drag, and smile
Newport Reds taste swell.

Lent is almost here
I need to give up something
Bread and pasta…Gone!!

My zipper is down
I find that extremely odd
Hands were typing keys.

I bet Kate Upton
Is really awful in bed
Not allowed to bite and mar her picture perfect tits.

My last Kate haiku
Did not follow haiku rules
Oh well…suck it, Kate.

Chicken nuggets, not eggs

eggs?

Nuggets are much less trouble.
Eggs may have to sit.

I just touched my dick.
No, I didn’t have an itch
I just wanted to.

Why do people judge?
Schmoop is sound asleep in bed
And I am horny.

Thank you, and have a great Thursday…I shall spend mine saying “5-7-5” to myself.

Today’s drawer at the Beer Mine is gonna be so fucked up.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Phone Sex Babes are our Person(s) of the Week!

In honor of our "Candice the Phone Sex Girl" show that airs LIVE at 12 Noon ET today, here are some really HAWT babes who just love to talk to Matt-Man and Jayman on the phone ...

1. Megan Fox

2. Kate Upton

3. Kerry Washington

4. Sofia Vergara

5. Arianna Huffington

That's some serious phone sex hotness right there! Remember to join us at 12 Noon ET today to learn all about the phone sex industry!

Facebook Confirms...Matt-Man Isn't Perfect!!

“You're pretty arrogant. And self important….Other than that, you're okay.”

Haaaaaaaaappy Friday Folks!!

Matt-Man here breaking it all down for ya on the IWS Radio website, and let me tell ya, that first quote is hurtful…

However, for the most part, most of you loveable bastards and bastardesses are quite nice.

I posted on my Facebook page yesterday…

“What don’t you like about me?”

And you know what?

While I was awaiting a tsunami of hate and disregard for the fact that I am indeed a caring person, you know what I got..?

“Matt doesn’t have feelings….He’s rude and has a potty mouth.”

Let me tell you my radio compatriot and friend, I have cared often and I have told you how I care about many people during our private calls…maybe not in the way they would like me to, nor using the words that most would choose, but I CARE!!

And then there is Dana…Love the Dana.  She said…

(1) I don't like that you don't take care of yourself. You've got a son who doesn't have a fighting chance if you aren't around to guide him, and
(2) You're a button pusher. When you find someone's buttons, you push and push and PUSH.

The best thing about Dana’s comment?  She is an accountant, and she numbered her grievances.  That it in itself is nice and lends an air of consistency, and number two, consistency is HOT!!

And actually, Number Three?  Dana, was actually serious.  I like that.  And…

She’s absolutely correct.

If a person says and/or does something with which I don’t agree, I will push and push until they expose themselves to be complete morons.

Is that being, “arrogant?”

I don’t fucking think so, and as far as being self-important?  If that’s the case, I wouldn’t have cow-towed to my wife all of these years up until now, in order to keep the peace for my son.

Eh, actually the asking of the “what do you hate about me” question was worth more to me than the, “”what do you like about me” question.

It seems that praise from friends, while far more grand, is personally less hurtful and truthful than negative personal critiques.

I like negative critiques.  It keeps me edgy.  And the truth is…

I am both Matt-Man, and just plain Matt.

Matt-Man is Dean Martin and Buddy Acapella rolled into one, while Matt is a poet wannabe named Paul Piatt.

All the while, Schmoop says…"Whatever…can I just have some sleep.?”

My point is…AND YES I AM MAKING A POINT!!

Backdoor guests are best, Tumblr guest are whatever, Facebook friends are awesome, but seriously?

Real friends ,whether they hate you or love you, no matter from where they came, are awesome…and one other thing, so am I.

I am awesome.

And, I will leave you with that.

Matt-Man

Cheeeeeeeeers!!

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Rush Limbaugh Children's Book Author

Hola ya’ll! Right-wing windbag, philanderer and drug addict Rush Limbaugh is now a children’s book author and I couldn’t possibly be more excited! In fact, IWS World Media has a little sneak peek of some of the wrongs Rush tries to right in his book. Check ‘em out …

- In the 1600’s large numbers of black people from Africa immigrated to the US to work on plantations and farms in the south. The work was hard and the hours were long but it was gratifying for them and the conditions were wayyyyyyyy better than back in Africa.

- The Civil War, more precisely the War of Northern Aggression had absolutely nothing to do with slavery. It was all about state’s rights, privacy and the Confederate States defense of free enterprise.

- Ronald Reagan was the only president to ever cut taxes and eliminate the deficit while never raising a single tax in his eight years in office.

- Child labor laws passed by liberals have deprived children of the opportunity to earn money of their own and made them dependent upon the government when they become adults.

- Despite what the liberal media tells us, America won smashing victories in the War of 1812, Korea and Vietnam.

- Kate Upton was created in a supermodel laboratory located deep underground in rural Montana.

- Martin Luther King Jr. was a republican who opposed the expansion of social programs like Social Security and would NEVER have supported Obamacare or any form of universal health insurance.

- FDR is generally considered one of the worst presidents in American history.

- George W Bush often times was depicted as inarticulate or even not very intelligent because he was so much smarter than everybody else and no one in the media would admit it.

- There is actually no such thing as a concussion. It’s something that liberals made up to try and destroy the game of football and the NLF because the NFL is pro-America.

- Al Gore came up with the idea of Global Warming to justify is desire for 75% corporate tax rates and 75% income tax rates on middle class Americans to use on social programs for the lazy unproductive people (blacks, Hispanics).

- FDR knew the Japanese were about to attack Pearl Harbor but did nothing about it because he knew it would draw American into WWII.

- LBJ had JFK killed.

- 99.92% of all murders in America are committed by black people.

- The Obama administration threatened the NFL with all kinds of legal action if the Patriots didn’t cut Tim Tebow.

- White people are on the receiving end of racism five times more often than blacks and Hispanics combined.

- Obama directed the CIA to hire James Holmes to shoot up a theater in Colorado and Adam Lanza to shoot up a grade school in Connecticut to help push gun control laws and confiscate American’s guns.

- Bill Clinton had Vince Foster murdered by the CIA because Vince was having an affair with Hillary.

- The republicans have spent the last 50 years fighting to expand the school lunch programs and increase funding for children’s healthcare, but democrats stopped them by. The dems said they would only agree to those things if republicans agreed to allow child molesters be teachers.

- President Obama doesn’t care about white people.

As you can see, Rushbo is ready to bring the truth to our children in hopes that American will finally become the great country we all know she can be!

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook
@Jayman_IWS

Matt Said, Jay Said 44

Matt blahs, Jay blahs, You sigh.

Matt: Hey
Jay: Hey
Matt: What’s up?
Jay: Nothing much.
Matt: Cool.
Jay: U?
Matt: Same.
Jay: Cool.
Matt: Dinner?
Jay: Chicken, noodles and green beans.
Matt: Yummy.
Jay: U?
Matt: Rally’s
Jay: Nice.
Matt: What kind of green beans?
Jay: French Cut.
Matt: You fancy mofo you!
Jay: Hell yeah! I’m sophisticated.
Matt: I keep forgetting that.
Jay: Well, I don’t like to show off too much.
Matt: Good plan.
Jay: It’s like wearing a fancy suit in Memphis.
Matt: Pretty damn risky.
Jay: Damn right man.
Matt: You are a very careful man.
Jay: Gotta be these days.
Matt: People be crazy, yo!
Jay: True dat.

Jay: Hey, the Sexy Sexting Show is #2!
Matt: That’s hot.
Jay: Did it result in any extra sexting for you?
Matt: Nope.
Jay: That’s too bad.
Matt: U?
Jay: Fuck no.
Matt: Awwwww
Jay: IKNOWRIGHT?!
Matt: Well that wasn’t the purpose of the show.
Jay: Yeah, I kno …. Wait. It wasn’t?
Matt: Noooooooooo! It was to entertain the masses.
Jay: A handful of them at a time.
Matt: Exactly!
Jay: Well then. We were successful!
Matt: Damn right we were!
Jay: That sounds weird.
Matt: What does?
Jay: “We. Were. Successful.”
Matt: Oh wow! It does.

Jay: So this week?
Matt: A surprise birthday party for President Obama!
Jay: Oh that’s brilliant.
Matt: IKR? He needs a pick-me-up anyway.
Jay: Our entire staff can record birthday messages.
Matt: Oh hell yes!
Jay: A Paul Piatt w/ a special birthday poem?
Matt: You know he has some beautiful poems for that.
Jay: Maybe some celebrities will chime in too!
Matt: And former presidents!
Jay: And some world leaders!
Matt: And “what will Obama wish for?” thoughts.
Jay: And presents we and others might give him.
Matt: And birthday party ideas.
Jay: Oh hell yeah!
Matt: Cause for us, life is a party.
Jay: It sure as hell is!
Matt: Sunday is also Coast Guard Day!
Jay: We’re on it!
Matt: And Revolution Day in Burkina Faso!
Jay: The most important day of the year!
Matt: I can’t fucking wait!
Jay: Me either!
Matt: Better start early on all those audios.
Jay: Oh shit. There will be tons of ‘em!
Matt: That’s hot.
Jay: Very.

So, be sure to join our surprise Happy Birther-Day President Obama show on Sunday at 12 Noon ET!!!

Jokes and Boobies

Cheers and Happy Monday chuckleheads…

Long last couple of days for the Matt-Man.  Wow things have popping and happening all over the greater Bagwine metroplex of late.

After things calmed down to a point, a big tasty bowl of chili was consumed by yours truly, and it knocked me out pretty damn early last night.

However…

I did help to get to complete a pretty damn amazing and funny show yesterday.  I along with Jayman and the entire IWS Radio team broadcast our 3rd Annual Joke Show.

It’s true!!

Jay and I joked and quipped comedically, but dig it…We were joined by a cast of thousands…okay, a giant handful of guest quipsters.

We had jokes from the IWS Team.  Joshua, Kirk Douglas, Guy Ahnyurdyck, Rev. Moneymaker, Buddy Acapella, Paul Piatt and…Dixie Ozark really brought the house down with her hilarious iron lung joke!!

On top of that…

Our favorite fan and the sexiest Canadian ever Jamie chimed in with three of her own, one of which was a scandalous joke attack on Americans!!

Fellow Ohioan and neer-do-well Jesse Ferg had some last minute humor.  That boy is a mess!!

Greg popped in and waxed comedically from the Circle G Ranch.  Annnnnnd…

Schmoop told a joke that both insulted and complimented the Jayman and I.  Brilliant!!

It was all in all an exciting and funny time and you simply must give the 3rd Annual Joke Show a listen, especially if you are a fan of iron lung jokes.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Just play the playa above and enjoy, oh…What’s with the pictures of Kate Upton, you ask? Kate Upton being naked in the studio during the broadcast is the only thing that could have made this show any better. Thanks to all who listened live, and recorded and/or called in with their jokes.  It was a blast. Cheers!! Matt-Man mattmaniws@ymail.com @mattman_iws

IWS Babe of the Week...Year's End and Rear Ends

As we quickly approach year's end, now is the perfect time to celebrate some really sweet looking...rear ends...

Many people today, when they think of ass, naturally think of Kim Kardashian...

Others may simply dream of the go to ass of Scarlett Johansson...

Megan Fox doesn't disappoint either, especially when she is kissing herself...

Of course, a new and particular fave that IWS has discovered, is the delicious derriere of one Kate Upton...

And certainly, a stalwart of legendary assdom is that of one of the IWS team, the Schmoopster...

So there you go.  Year's End and Rear Ends.  Let's love the hell out of all of them.

And don't forget...

If you missed Jay and Matt kicking 2012 to the curb on Blog Talk Radio LIVE last night, you can catch all of the angst ridden hilarity right here in the archives.  A good time was had by all...

   

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Eat to Live, Live to Eat

Hola y’all! Since I’m busy corrupting the simple and decent people of Omaha, NE this week, I will use old memes as fodder on the days that it's my turn to post. IKNOWRIGHT!? So very exciting!

How do you like your eggs? Scrambled or over-easy

How do you take your coffee/tea: When I do drink coffee I like cream and sugar. Or some Jameson’s Irish Whiskey or some Baily's Irish Cream

Favorite breakfast foods: Bacon, eggs and hash browns

Peanut butter: smooth or crunchy? Smooooooooooth

What kind of dressing on your salad? I prefer French, but I can live with Italian or a balsamic vinaigrette

Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi!

You're feeling lazy. What do you make? Maybe just a hamburger patty and some fries or one of those frozen breaded chicken patties on a bun and some fries. Or maybe a frozen pizza.


You're feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order? Being a simple kind of guy, I normally just get a pepperoni pizza with extra sauce on thin crust from Pizza Hut

You feel like cooking. What do you make? Lots of different chicken meals, sometimes with pasta, sometimes with rice and maybe even meatloaf and sometimes pork.

Do any foods bring back good memories? Mostly stuff like prime rib or really good steaks we would have at “family” gatherings at my dad’s house on holidays. Or big holiday meals with my REAL family.


Do any foods remind you of someone? When I have red beans and rice I think of my sister cause she makes GREAT red beans and rice. Oh and an awesome pork stew.


Is there a food you refuse to eat? When I was a kid there were, but now, I think I'd try most things. Well, not rodents.

What was your favorite food as a child? Burgers

Is there a food that you hated as a child but now love? Probably green veggies. Although I will not eat that nasty green pile of sludge that comes out of a can that they try to pass off as spinach. I like my spinach fresh and in a salad, thank you.

Is there a food that you loved as a child but now hate? Can't think of any.

Favorite fruit or vegetable: Veggie: Actually I love mixed vegetables with the green beans, corn peas, carrots and little lima beans. Fruit: Grapes

Favorite junk food: Doritos Nacho Cheese Chips

Favorite between meal snack: I love those peanut butter crackers or just saltines

Do you have any weird food habits: You mean as in do I get freaky with food? I love strawberries and bananas and cereal, but I HATE strawberries or bananas IN my cereal. I love maple syrup over my sausage, but HATE maple sausage. And, as you probably know, I’m not a fan of handling foods so I wear food safe gloves.

You're on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on? Veggies and Chicken

You're off your diet. Now what would you like? Great big old BBQ pork sandwich from Bodacious BBQ.

How spicy do you order Indian/Thai, etc? Spicy foods tend to cause me problems, but I do love Indian food. Normally if I’m at an Indian Restaurant and they give us the choice of how spicy we want our food, I go with “not too spicy” just to save myself the trouble.

Can I get you a drink? Scotch or Cabo Wabo Tequilla or Woodford Reserve Bourbon

Red wine or white? Yes please. I love wine and will drink both reds and whites at any time.

We only have beer: German or Belgian please. Or just good old Coors Light.

Favorite dessert? A big warm brownie with an even bigger scoop of vanilla ice cream and some chocolate syrup poured over it.

The perfect nightcap? In the winter time some hot chocolate is always good.


Okay, that was fascinating wasn’t it kids? Yeah, I thought so.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

Also, on Sunday we had a great time just shooting the breeze on the I’m With Stupid Podcast. Originally the idea was to give out advice to folks for dealing with the holidays, but we didn’t really get around to doing much of that. But, it was still a fun time of just talking about whatever came up. So, you should totally check it out!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

You Might Be An Asshole If ...

Hola sweet, thoughtful and considerate people! In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy’s very old and tired “You might be a redneck if …” jokes, here are some ways to know if you are an asshole:

If you’re wearing headphones and I can still hear your music, you might be an asshole.

If you have auto play music player on your blog, you might be an asshole.

If you throw trash out the window of your car while driving, or worse, while in a parking lot that has trash cans available, you might be an asshole.

If you wear sunglasses inside even though you have no eye problems or medical reason to do so, you might be an asshole.

If you never say “please” “thank you” or “excuse me” you might be an asshole.

If you push the “disabled button” on a door going into a store and you aren’t disabled, you might be an asshole.

If you walk into a store and stop right there holding the door open while looking to see what they have and there are people standing behind you trying to get into the store, you might be an asshole.

If you are climbing the stairs of an escalator even though there are also stairs that you could have taken, you might be an asshole.

If you’re standing in line at a fast food place and when you finally get up to the counter and are asked what you would like you finally look up at the menu and say “Uhhhhh … Let me see what you’ve got,” you might be an asshole.

If you text people while the movie is running in the theater, you might be an asshole.

If you randomly add a pic of a really hot chick just to get a few extra cheap hits on your blog posts, you might be an asshole.

If you walk around with a scowl on your face and never smile and say “Hola” to people, you might be an asshole.

If you refuse to let anyone use your bar of soap, you might be an asshole.

If you are talking on your cell phone while going through the checkout at the store, you might be an asshole.

If you are consistently late to meetings or social outings, you might be an asshole.

If you try to get on an elevator, bus or train before others can get off, you might be an asshole.

If you sit in your car in front of an apartment building with the stereo blasting away AND/OR constantly revving the engine, you might be an asshole.

If your kid is screaming and crying or running around bothering other people in a restaurant or other public place, you might be an asshole.

If you don’t put the shopping cart in the cart corral or take it back into the store, you might be an asshole.

If you turn left from the right turn lane (or right from the left turn lane), you might be an asshole.

If you don’t cover your mouth when you cough, sneeze or yawn in public, you might be an asshole.

Okay, there are a bunch of good examples of assholism. I’m sure there are hundreds more, so feel free to leave some others in the comment section if you like. And anyone who doesn’t comment (or listen to I’m With Stupid Podcast) is definitely a gaping asshole!

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

Only a Lindsay Lohan Lesbian Movie ...

Could have made this week any better.

Hola Bitches!

Well, it's been a pretty amazing week. Let's see what all happened.

The biggest news of the week was that the “I'm With Stupid” humor blog went live to great fanfare. We'd like to remind anyone who would like to be a regular or irregular contributor to the blog to let us know!

Former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman and his perfect hair, MAN those Mormons have great hair, announced he was officially running for the GOP nomination for president. His speech was so boring that even Fox News broke away from it to talk about suddenly exciting by comparison Tim T-Paw Pawlenty.

President Obama addressed the nation Wednesday night to talk about his plan to begin the slow draw down of troops in Afghanistan. He also ignored both his own lawyers and congress and pressed on with US support of bombing of Libya. Obama makes all these war decisions while stroking his Nobel Peace Prize.

The Cleveland Cavaliers made Duke's Kyrie Irving the number one over all selection in this year's NBA draft. You know LeBron James is really hated when people prefer a Duke guy to him.

One of the things we have found by going through the treasure trove of information that was grabbed during the Bin Laden raid is that Osama was thinking that Al Qaeda was in need of a rebranding effort including a name change. So, I thought I would propose some great new names:

Focus on the Jihad

Near Beer Bombers

Infidel Intifada

Westboro Baptist Caliphate

Al Qeada II: Electric Boogaloo

Beards and Bombs

And today we found out that Lindsay Lohan has once again showed off her superior intellect and knowledge of the law and has again avoided jail time. Good job Lindsay. But, I really wish you would get back to me on my screenplay idea. A movie about lesbians in prison and the various cliques. When Lindsay's character, Mona Lott, is accepted into the most exclusive clique, another girl, Joy Kill, played by Kate Upton plots her revenge by first seducing Mona and then all the other girls in the clique AND the prison warden played by Tyra Banks.

The movie is titled: Mean Womyn

Lindsay Kate and Tyra (for educational purposes of course):

I have no idea why Lindsay hasn't gotten back to me on that one.


Oh and one other thing. R.I.P. to Peter Falk. He starred as Columbo back in the day when they really knew how to make a good cop show...

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman_iws