IWS Coffee Mugs, Bringin' The January Thaw

January is such a cold, gloomy, and boring month that it always helps if people can help brighten the day and pick up the spirits of others as we forge that long trail through the long gruesome month of January.

And folks, we here at IWS Radio have in small increments, been able to shed some flickers of sunlight upon a handful of people wallowing in the gray cast of the winter.  And how have we done that, you ask?

Through the joy of IWS Radio coffee mugs!!

That’s Right!!  We have been sending IWS Radio mugs to loyal listeners and contributors throughout the world.

And let me tell ya, it hasn’t been painless.  When I sent a set of mugs down to Jayman in our Arkansas office, a couple of the collectibles arrived with broken handles…

Very sad…And when Jayman sent a mug to the lovely, rusty sandwich lovin’ Cracker, the hole in the bottom of the mug left her feeling empty…

But fear not, Jayman sent her another one that was solid as a rock.  That’s how we roll here at IWS Radio.

My second, third, and fourth attempts went off without a hitch.  No broken handle this go around.  The mug I shipped to the acerbic Jesse Ferg found its way to him one glorious piece…

The mug I sent to Tamra, who is the leading cause of nocturnal emissions of the IWS staff, arrived safely and was quickly embraced within her soft and loving...um...hands…

Lastly, and while I have no pictures…I received a phone call yesterday at the Beer Mine (conveniently located at the corner of Elmore and Burnett Rd. in Bagwine, Ohio.) that the sexiest Canadian to have ever roamed the earth and our IWS Canadian Bureau Chief Miss Jamie Mapleleaf, received her mugs in the same state that they left Ohio…in one piece.

A few more mugs have been or soon will be sent out to places such as California and Texas, so dig it…Our January IWS warmth is already tangible in six states and one province of Canada.   We are spreading the joy!! And…

We have been rewarded for our efforts.  While always in the top five in the Comedy ratings on BTR, yesterday our January 11th show hit Numero Uno on BTR.  That hasn’t happened in quite awhile.

So to all of you…Thanks for continuing to listen, for helping us out, and simply for being our friends.  And remember folks, these collectible coffee mugs won’t last forever so punch your ticket for one by joining the IWS Radio Looooooooove Train!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
Tweet Me Up
Facebook My Face

Jay and Matt Killed It Yesterday

Oh sure, counting today Thanksgiving is still days away, but let me tell you…

Yesterday on IWS Radio?  Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players were cooking the turkey, praising the praises of others, and joyfully blessing everyone and everything that has made their lives better this year.

After friendly opening banter that included talk about NCAA basketball and football, Jay and Matt begged dared people to call-in and discuss how much they hated green bean casserole.  Nobody dared to challenge these two lovers of the aforementioned dish on this issue.

Sports Director Slyder Balzcock chimed in on how he was thankful for having Jayman as a friend and hoped that his thankfulness would turn into a free steak dinner.

Alarmist Weatherman was thankful for a few gadgets while Bobby Kraft listed a myriad of things for which he is grateful.  On the surface, many of these things seemed unseemly, but after further review, they were even more unseemly than originally thought.

The lovely Miss Jamie Mapleleaf provided tips to all Americans on how to better improve and Canadianize their Thanksgiving celebration.

Mr. Vague may or may have not explained all of the reasons as to why he is thankful, yet Beer Mine Beth definitely made her feelings known as we called her LIVE at the Beer Mine.

Schmoop was thankful for Matt, Jay and IWS Radio...we think.

Dusty, Joshua, KleeShay, Martin, The Rev, and Drew Peacock proclaimed Thanksgiving to be a holiday of peace…or something.

Guy Ahnyurdyck and Stubby Stonehenge looked at Thanksgiving as a time to get sloppy drunk as they discussed willy-willies.

All in all it was a good time as Jay and Matt celebrated their friends, family, and neighbors and took a multitude of congratulatory phone calls as they celebrated peace on earth and all that shit.

If you missed yesterday’s show LIVE, you can always catch it below in archives, so please do.  Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team would be very thankful that you did…

Boobies, Jamie, and Making Fun of Child and Wife Beaters

Happy Monday all you bitches!!

Oh…why do I say bitches?  Well let me tell ya….

IWS Radio wanted to get, set up to get, and expected to get, a plethora of phone calls this week.  And? What DID IWS Radio get as far as the amount of phone of calls?

Heartache.

Oh sure…We got a hot, sexy, and comforting call from Jamie, but other than the hot Canadian action we received from the sexy Miss Mapleleaf, we got nothing.  The sexy quality was more than enough, but we could have used more in the quantity action.

However, the IWS Radio players persevered.

Bobby Kraft was all upset over the fact that IWS didn't get any phone calls, and then he had some ideas on how to get some phone calls.

Our travel editor Rand McNally took us, our imagination, and his lisp along a journey through Canada, Ireland, and places that include the dirty industry of youth hostels.

Jesse Ferg was in the room and he was childish as always…so we laughed.

The lovely Karen sang Cher better than Cher during out first installment of The IWS Half Dead Duo Society.

Jay and Matt decided that they will do a masturbation show in the future.

Jimmy Three Fingers Tortelli will give 60% when IWS does that show.  And dig it…

Jay and Matt made fun of women who hate other women, as the comedic duo pointed out the disparaging comments that were made when IWS posted the latest Tamra picture…By Other Women!!  Awful hatred right there.

Jay and Matt gave ample shit to Adrian Peterson, Ray Rice, and the NFL…And Jamie?  While she loves Jay and Matt, she called in and gave ample shit to both of them as well.

In other words, the show was as always, hilarious and empty of a lot of phone calls.  So…

GIVE IT A LISTEN TO OUR SHOW IN ARCHIVES RIGHT HERE!!  or...listen here...

Even During Troubled Times, IWS Radio Goes Rogue Wholesome

They said it couldn’t be done, but Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team did a wholesome, family fun show in response to their smutty show that they did the week before.  And?

It was awesome!!

Ma Tibbles chimed in not only once, but twice with her homespun wisdom.

Tammy Tibbles brought her spunky and fiercely fantastic form of life lessons as well.

Rev. Moneymaker graciously absolved Jay and Matt from all of their sins from last week’s show and then went on what appeared to be a drunken and expletive fueled tirade against Guy Ahnyurdyck.  It wasn’t pretty, but God Dammit, it was real life wholesomeness.

Jay made sure that the Brady Brunch showed up with some cutesy 70’s fun and morals, and Matt?

He brought along the Douglas family as the My Three Sons family celebrated Rob and Katie’s wedding/honeymoon.

We found out oddly enough that Drew Peacock has a quasi-wholesome side.

Listeners discovered at the same time as we did that in the 1950’s, teenage kids named Jimmy could be put on probation for knowing a homosexual named Ralph.

The Cleavers of Leave it to Beaver fame were well included as The Beave struggled with dating and Ward discussed the limited role of women.

Jay and Matt discussed the aforementioned Brady family and the disturbing dynamic between Daddy Mike and daughter Cindy.

Slyder Balzcock had a somewhat welcoming Friendship Day neighborhood cookout.

Jamie Mapleleaf opened things up as usual with harsh words for Matt, but as always, after that…the show kicked wholesome ass.

So…listen to it, love it, and laugh at it, and tell at least ten friends to do the same, because…well…this episode was wholesome.  So, give it a listen!!

Thanks To You For Being The Lovable Sickos That You Are!!

Cheers and a Happy Tuesday to you all.  After this past Sunday’s IWS Radio Show, I was nearly feeling elated yesterday, but my hangover from Sunday’s debauchery was such, that I could not feel elated until today. But…

Now that I can feel again, I want to talk about the positive feelings of love, good-will, and support that are raining down upon my detoxified mind and body, and on behalf of the team here at IWS Radio, I want to give a virtual hug and say thanks to some people for making me smile during Sunday’s show.

Jayman and I had set-up Sunday’s show as a jab at Blog Talk Radio to see if they would accept our, “The Gentlemen’s Guide to Sucking and Fucking a Lady” title.  Well, unfortunately….they did, and the pressure was on for us to perform.

Now don’t get me wrong, Jayman and I during our private Thursday morning show prep call can be downright filthy man-sluts, but we like to entertain a modicum of decorum during our LIVE show on Sundays.  So…

We asked for surrogates to help us out and record their naughty bits for us for this past Sunday’s show, and lo and behold…

Many degenerate, lascivious, sex-crazed, foot-fetishing, yet well-meaning sociopaths quickly and amicably acquiesced to our call for assistance.

Chris performed a reading of a story that would have made the late Bob Guccione blush.  Triple Jaxxx not only hung out on the phone with us for awhile, recited her bathtub desires to us, but also sang, quite sexily I might add, about how she enjoys touching herself to the thoughts of Jay and myself.

Glass Half Full Gal verbally gyrated for over seven minutes about sex, which afforded me the time to not only take a leak, but to do a little something else while I was in the bathroom listening to her piece.

A former Bagwine, Ohio resident and current longtime Alabamian, Amy…chimed in with a nice bumper full of southern charm and sexy giggles. I think we need to change her name to Alabamy.  Anyhoo…

Lonnnnnng time friend to me and IWS Radio and even longer to the Jayman, Cracker, recorded a bumper for Paul Piatt’s spot so sexy, that he is still blushing and wondering what in the hell a Rusty Sandwich is.

And well that’s it…or is it?

IWSRADIO.COM

Ha…No post of people helping out Jay and I would be complete without the acknowledgement of one Miss Jamie Mapleleaf.  The lovely Jamie is without question our biggest fan…probably because it is colder in Canada longer than here in the states, and listening to us is more comfortable than going outside. Nonetheless…

Jamie has for a long time done a funny intro line about me every week, contributed and recorded countless bits for the show, and for whatever reason, she has to be the only person who has listened to all 290 shows that IWS Radio has broadcast.

I maybe shouldn’t say this, but Jamie said to me recently that being included as part of the IWS Radio Show was a gift to her.  Pffffffffffft, she has it ass backwards, her being a part of the show is a gift to Jay and I. Jamie is incredible, and that’s that.

I just did want to say, now that I have my wits about me, thank you all for participating in Sunday’s IWS show. Y’all were great and keep in mind…

You all are welcome to send stuff to us anytime.  Suggest show ideas.  Suggest guests.  Be a guest. Whatever!!

Keep the good stuff coming, but please…for the next couple of shows could your ideas and submissions be free of your sick and depraved lifestyles?  After a couple of weeks…feel free to let your freak flags rise again.

Cheers and Thanks All!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
Twitter Me Softly With Your Song
Facebook Me Into Your Crotch

Guys We Fucked

Let me tell you boys and girls…Yesterday during the IWS Radio Show things got wild!!

First off, Jay and Matt berated Blog Talk Radio for currying favor toward hot chicks with potty mouths, and let me tell you…this will not stand.

Next week’s IWS Radio Show is going to be an explicit show about explicitness!!  So, strap yourself in or go home, be hernia free, or be a lesser person for not being able to meet the risk…and the challenge.

After nearly thirty minutes of berating BTR for not caring about men…men who pay good money to be “Premium” members, and ultimately proving our point that Blog Talk Radio only promotes shows hosted by women of loose values and questionable moral character…

Jay and Matt after being angered by these facts, settled down, and put on one helluva great radio show yesterday.

Sure, the two Cocks…Slyder and Drew couldn’t give a correct answer to save their lives…

Aunt Jax, while incredibly LATE to the party with her song (which was HOT) hung out with us and was awesome…

Bobby Kraft made fun of online quiz results, and our very own Matt-Man as well.  It was awesome!!

Jamie Mapleleaf was so God Damn Canadian while chiming in, that while even not listening, Bill Shatner cried.

Kip Kelly was on hand to announce his new game show, and really?

The show was all about fun as we asked each other trivia questions, however…

Enjoy this show now, because if you do not?  When next week’s show comes around, you will hopefully be offended to the point where you tell your friends and neighbors.

Here you go my friends and neighbors…If you missed us LIVE on Sunday, you can catch all of the IWS Radio hilarity, right here…

It's Canada Day!! So What...Eh?*

It’s the first day of July Bitches!! And you know what that means…

That’s right…It’s Canada Day!!

Today is the day that Canada celebrates its “independence” from the United Kingdom…um, okay, not really.

Today marks the day in 1867 that Canada was formally known as a Dominion…meaning several provinces of Canada united as one under the Crown of the United Kingdom.

See…Canada was never truly independent of the English bastards until 1982. 1982!!

Ha!! Angola told Portugal to shove it some seven years earlier. Angola, folks!!

Hell even today, in spite of Canada's “independence”, the Queen of England (and no, I don’t mean Elton John) is still the legal head of state.

What the fuck kind of independence is that?

Holy Crap…

While Americans are gearing up to celebrate our independence from Britain that took the writing and signing of a “treasonous” document and a brutal war that lasted over six years...

The Canadians are celebrating the right of their provinces to associate with each other under the iron girdle of the British crown.

What a bunch of back bacon pussies.*

Three days from now, we will be honoring great men such as George Washington, John Adams, Ben Franklin, and Patrick Henry.

Today, the Canadians will be paying homage to the likes of Anne Murray, Keanu Reeves, Howie Mandel, and Justin Bieber. And of course…The Queen.

Screw the Canadians…or is that, Canadiens? See?

They can’t even settle on the fucking spelling of who and what they are.

It all goes back to those damn French in Québec. The French in Québec are kinda like the Zoroastrians are in Afghanistan and Iran.

Oh sure…they’re there, but, pffffft, fuck ‘em.

Anyhoo…Let’s say fuck you to the Canadians and especially the Canadiens.

This July 4th, let’s celebrate our Independence Day by fully democratizing the Labatt Blue pissing Canadians like we did the Germans, the Japs, and the Vietnamese…er…well, whatever.

We can fire cruise missiles, and send a squadron of B-2s to level their no-balls parliament.

And then, I’ll personally go to Buckingham Palace to bitch slap Queen Lizzy, and say unto Her Majesty:

“You wanna act like you still have an Empire? Well, free my neighbors to the north and go re-invade the sheep herders on the Falkland Islands…and by the way, Charles is fucking gay.”

Oh yeah, babies…

This year…

If America puts her mind to it, we can celebrate the 4th of July with drunken Canadians being killed by American made bombs instead of drunken Americans losing an eye or a finger to an errant, Chinese made Roman Candle.

I for one, can dig that. But…

It’s Canada Day, so I celebrate them…

But seriously, does anyone really give a shit?

It‘s not like they’re really independent…or relevant.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
My Twitterdom
My Swingin' Facebook Page

*None of the above remarks apply to IWS Radio’s favorite Canadian and Canadian Bureau Chief, the uber-lovely and talented, Jamie Mapleleaf, nor to William Shatner, nor Rob Ford.

Jamie, Bill, and Rob are the only three people who give Canada a sexy splash of excitement and personality.

IWS Radio...You Have Advice For Me? Really?

Jay, Matt Man, and the IWS players did a radio show yesterday.

No, it’s true.

KleeShay Johnson was there, and he was hanging out with the everyday thing.

Bobby Kraft did an interview with the one and only Ben Franklin…

Who tossed it over to Willie Gene and oh mercy, the shit was on.

Buddy Acapella had birthday shout outs to Roc, and our official IWS lounge singer, Jackie…how you doin’ Jaxxx?

And we talked about internet “experts” who don’t know their ass from their hole in the ground.

The Bag Man was there with misery loves company help for Rose drinkers…

And after our personal chastisement of all of these folks, Mr. Spock summed up everything that is awful about our world.

It wasn’t pretty, but it was awesome good, so give it a listen.

And give it a listen right here…

Matt Said, Jay Said...1-800-222-1222

Matt pivots…Jay redirects…You roll with the changes.

Matt:  Guten Tag Mi Ami!!
Jay:  What?  German and French in the same greeting?
Matt:  I hail from Alsace Loraine, so…um…okay…How the hell are ya?
Jay:  Awesome…this not writing on the blog nearly all week is liberating.
Matt:  I know, and I got a lot done because we took a break from the blog.

Jay:  Oh man, so did I.
Matt:  Oh yeah?  Like what?
Jay:  Well, you brought it up; why don’t you go first.
Matt:  Just a A LOT of stuff, and you?
Jay:  Tons o’shit done too, and if I’m lyin’, I’m dyin’.

Matt:  I’m glad the break worked out well for both of us.
Jay:  I did have some ideas to kinda tweak the show.
Matt:  Are you getting rid of me?
Jay:  Are you kidding?  How could I ever do that?  After all, you paid half of the premium fee.
Matt:  And if I hadn't?
Jay:  Are you kidding me?  After all, you paid half of the premium fee.

Matt:  Uh-huh, anyhoo…What are some of your tweak-deas?
Jay:  I thought we could do a quiz show of some type.
Matt:  Who doesn't like that?
Jay:  Communists…and vegans.  Annnnnnd perhaps we could have our correspondents interview each other.
Matt:  That would be awesome.

Jay:  I was thinking about the You Tube and Facebook pages.
Matt:  Perhaps we could save that for the show.
Jay:  I guess.
Matt:  I know what would be an exciting change and enhancement for the show.
Jay:  What’s that?
Matt:  More callers.
Jay:  Holy Cow Dude.  When you dream, you dream BIG!!
Matt:  I know, right?

Jay:  Well we can discuss some of the changes and additions we’d like to make, but what else?
Matt:  Lessee….Hey!!  Sunday is Best Friend Day!!  And Name Your Poison Day!!
Jay:  We could talk about the crazy friends we have had over the years.
Matt:  And talk about the “poisons” we are addicted to.
Jay:  Hell yeah, food, sex, alcohol, drugs.  There are many types of poisons out there.
Matt:  Oh hell Jayman, guess what?
Jay:  What?
Matt:  Sunday is also Canadian River Day.
Jay:  Get outta here!!  I have always been addicted to Canadian rivers.  Jamie Mapleleaf could chime in.
Matt:  Damn right.

Jay:  Bobby Kraft and KleeShay Johnson can chime in on something or something as well.
Matt:  Guy Ahnyurdyck needs to update us on the demise or resurrection of Stubby Stonhenge.
Jay:  And you know what?  With all of the changes afoot, it would be nice to have Ma Tibbles bring about some comfort of the typical.
Matt:  Praise Jesus!!

Jay:  Aight.  I think we are ready.
Matt:  I know we are.
Jay:  So I hope everyone joins us for Name Your Poison and Make Some Changes on IWS Radio tomorrow.
Matt:  LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.
Jay:  You can catch all of the hilarity AND CALL IN…
Matt:  By clicking HERE.

Memorial Day 2014...Click To Listen

Happy Memorial Day and dig it…

You all are in for a treat because not only do you see the beautiful pic of our incredibly to die for friend Tiff, our IWS Radio Memorial Day Babe of the Day to the right, but yesterday?

Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team put on one helluva radio show, and you can catch it all right HERE.

No shit!?  It’s like…as we were dong it…it was recorded on Blog Talk Radio or something.  It’s fancy!!

IWS Radio celebrated Memorial Day without using this solemn day without turning it into our own marketing bitch for mattresses, liquor sales, or FOX News.

Jay, Matt, Joshua, Tammy Tibbles, and others, talked about how great America is, and how we mourn those who have passed on in order to secure our right to do an internationally famous internet radio show.

Now there was a bit of a hiccup on the show as an unscheduled guest chimed in.

The adorable TamiJ chimed in, and pontificated on Obama Care, Oregon politics, and read us her resume as well.

She quickly dispatched herself from the conversation once she listened to Slyder Balzcock read In Flanders Fields, making a mockery of the fallen soldiers that have…fallen before us.  So atypical of a self-proclaimed right-wing, God fearing, gun toting, Conservative.

Very sad, but worth a listen. Actually, Tami is very animated, cute, and entertaining, but we need to keep her in check.  She talks too much, too quickly, and unless she can prove otherwise in the future, wrong on every issue.

But all in all, yesterday’s IWS Radio Show was awesome.  The boys talked about the heroes gone by, and the burgers yet to be grilled.

It was the perfect blend of Memorial Day chicanery to the revelers, and Memorial Day honor to those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for this great country of ours.

So…

Today, while you are honoring the dead, and cooking up burgers and brats, listen to IWS Radio…

To listen, and spend part of your Memorial Day with us, click right HERE, or watch below...

Is It Hot Enough For Ya, and Other Stupid Phrases

Cheers and a Happy Tuesday to you all.

After a long and brutal winter, spring/summer is about to break in Bagwine, Ohio, and let me tell you...

While I am looking forward to the warm temps, I am not looking forward to the ensuing, sarcastic, trying to be funny question…

“Hot enough for ya?”

Oh…Dear…God.

Let me tell you now folks; if you are resident of Bagwine and we finally hit the eighties after the testicular shrinking cold winter that we have had, and you ask me if it is hot for me..?

I am going to respond with…

No!!  It can never be hot enough, you know why?  Because prior to this past winter, I only had a three inch dick to begin with, and NOW it’s only an inch and a half long, because I lost half of it to frostbite, you stupid, just wanna talk to talk for no reason dullard.

And now that I think about it, there are a few more sayings, bon mots, and colloquialisms that I want erased from every record, obelisk, and page of mankind which are the following…

First up, this one…

“It is what it is.”

Really Einstein?  If I get run over by a car, are you gonna come to my bedside in the hospital while I am lying drugged up on dilaudid and tell me that my situation. “is what it is?”  Dumb Ass.

“Ya win some; you lose some.”

That is so deep, you Nietzsche fuck…Perhaps you would like to say that to my kids who won’t eat this week because I put my money on the wrong horse this week.

“That’ll happen sometimes.”

I tripped and hurt my knee.  “That’ll happen sometimes.” is your response.   Hello?  Yes I know, because it happened yesterday and it has happened many times before, and I just told you that it did.

“All things happen for a reason.”

Wow…I never knew that Mr./Ms. Descartes…I never realized that the reason that I didn't get laid last night was because I told Schmoop that her ham and potato casserole was good when she was hoping for an “excellent” rating from me.

“I’m in good company when I’m with Stupid.”

On the surface, it’s a sweet phrase, however…Jamie, the one who uttered this phrase has never invited neither Jay nor I to her home.  So you see? Sure, Jamie loves us…over the privacy and the protection of the internet, but…

She refuses to have us as houseguests and keeps us at arm’s length which is kinda hurtful.  But…We still love her.

In all seriousness, (especially excluding my Jamie reference, we love her in spite of the non-invite) please…Hot enough?  All things happen for a reason?  Is it hot enough for ya?  Stop it!!

Ask and/or state these things in a funnier more creative way…Perhaps, when it gets really damn hot, you could say…

"If Ann Coulter would spread her legs more often, we’d have Global Cooling."

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Jay and Matt Shared, and Hot Canadian Chicks Showed Up

Hi Y'all...Matt-Man here.

If you missed us LIVE yesterday on Blog Talk Radio, you can catch us in the IWS Radio archives right HERE.

Jayman and I had a great show...

We talked about how people take and never give.

We talked NCAA basketball, and how certain people ask for a 24 hr rule against gloating, and yet when "their team" is a winner, they don't adhere to said rule...

"That Snake chick be an aspy bitch in the Garden of Eden", says one Jon Bok Choyvie!!

Greg called in and told us of his travails of having no chance of winning Trailer of the Year this year because the owners of said lot, just don't like his rebellious character.

We also talked to our favorite Canadian, Jamie, and it was molten lava HAWT!!

What did we say as we talked with Jaaaaaaaaaamie?

Pfffffffffffffffffffffffft...You'll have to listen to find out, but let me tell ya..She loves us in her own, personal way.

We also had Joshua with a movie review, Paul Piatt with a poem, and of course, the erstwhile Tammy Tibbles bringing the comfort factor.

All in all?

It was, as always, an award winning show.

If you missed it LIVE, you can always catch it in archives right below.  Do us a solid and not only play it, tell your friend what a good show it was, and have them play it too.

Annnnnnnnd if you are into links, you could play it right HERE:

We thank you in advance!!

Are You Hot Enough to Handle Two Hours with Jayman?

Cheeeeeeeers Chuckleheads and a Happy Tuesday to you all.

This past Sunday (per usual) Jay, myself, and the brilliant and hard working staff at IWS Radio put on yet another award-winning radio show, however…

A temporary tragedy has befallen us.  I have to work this Sunday because the new employee at the Beer Mine will be on vacation, so the March 30th show is hanging in the balance.

There are some options as to what to do this Sunday.

1.  We could do a show Sunday night at 8 P.M.

2.  We could take the week off, and not have a show.

Or…

3.  Jayman could do the show at our normal Noon-2 PM ET time slot with a guest co-host!!

Frankly my friends, I prefer option 3, and if we go that route, I want to toss out a couple of names of people who would make an excellent co-host (or not) to work with Jayman this Sunday.

1.  Blanche Lincoln.  That’s right. Being a fellow Arkansan, Jayman would feel right at home with the sultry former Senator from Arkansas.  The only drawback to Mizz Lincoln?

Although she looks likes a man and sounds like a man, Jayman finds her hot and she may be far too distracting during the show.

2.  Vladimir Putin.  Putin is a badass, and he would bring an edginess to the show that would bring out the inner-Bad Boy in Jayman. Unfortunately, Putin is also too much of a downer for a comedy show.  If only Boris Yeltsin was still alive. That would be comedy GOLD!!

3.  Al Roker.  I hate Al Roker, but I would love to hear Jayman ask him…“You know?  We’ve never had a fake weatherman on the IWS Radio Show.”  Roker would reply, “Bullshit…You have Kirk Douglas on here pretending to be a weatherman.”  And Jayman would respond, “Damn right, and if Kirk was here in studio with us, he would kick your ass for that comment.”

4.  Frank Bonner.  That’s right, WKRP’s very own Herb Tarlek.  Another fellow Arkansan who has ignored our requests to appear on our show over and over.  Perhaps, since Mr. Bonner really isn’t doing anything these days, the title of co-host on IWS Radio instead of being a mere guest would entice him to be on our show.

5.  James Garner.  A man whom we have reported so many damn times as being dead…you’d think he’d like to come on the show with Jayman just to prove us wrong!!

6.  Scarlett Johansson, Mila Kunis, and/or Natalie Portman.  If all, or any of these three hotties were co-hosting the show with Jayman, we’d have to title the episode…“Drooling and Masturbating with Jayman.”

Actually…That would be ratings gold, but following the show, BTR would probably exercise their terms of use agreement and kick us off the air permanently.

Lastly, and drum roll please….

7.  Saving the best for last, if she wanted to, Jayman could spend two hours…120 minutes…an afternoon of non-stop hilarity with…our favorite Canadian, Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaamie!!

Jamie is the Belle of the Ball, and the most awesome chick in Hammer Town, Canada.  Jamie could just read articles out of Popular Mechanics, Car and Driver, and Consumer Reports, and her voice would send the audience into a North of the Border frenzy unseen since the days of Pamela Anderson’s last breast augmentation.

So there you have it.  A few ideas for Jayman and the IWS Radio Show for this coming Sunday.

Enjoy your Tuesday, and whatever happens, we will as always, bring you the news first, fast, and factual.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page  

Matt Said, Jay Said 202-462-3939

Matt binges, Jay quaffs.  You, turn green.

Matt:  Top of the mornin’ to ya, laddie boy!!

Jay:  Laddie?  Mornin’?  It’s 7:30 PM.

Matt:  I know, but I’m getting my green on for Sunday’s show.  St. Patrick’s Day show, right?

Jay:  Well yeah, but do you want to become too green, too soon?
Matt:  Well…

Jay:  Maybe for now, you could be a lime or chartreuse type of Irish green and be a peak green on Sunday.

Matt:  You’re a fucking genius.

Jay:  IKR?  Hey?  Will your brother and lead singer of The Dreamboats be joining us on this prep call?

Matt:  No…His wife put him on probation.
Jay:  Why?

Matt:  I told you that last Friday, he got his green on way too early, and way too much.
Jay:  Oh yeah…See?  Ya never want to peak too soon.
Matt:  But…he “promises” to talk to us live on the air Sunday prior to St. Paddy’s Day gig.
Jay:  His promises aren't that solid, but he did make it on air last St. Patrick’s Day.
Matt:  Yep…Hopefully the Luck o’ the Irish will be with us again this year.

Jay:  In addition to your brother probably not calling us, we could talk about our fave Irish foods.
Matt:  Well, that will fill 2-3 minutes, or twenty if John Kerry does his potato speech again.
Jay:  John does love his taters…Oh, we can talk about our favorite Irish people.
Matt:  That would be awesome.  I love many an Irishman and lady.
Jay:  Me too…plus, that will give you a chance to bring up Oscar Wilde for the 15,000th time.
Matt:  And while not enough mentions of him, that’s a good start.

Jay:  We could talk about our favorite green things.
Matt:  Sure, like grass.
Jay:  Emeralds.
Matt and Jay:  BEER!!

Matt:  Wow…I hear that Paul Piatt, Phil Diller, and possibly Guy Ahnyurdyck may show up as well.
Jay:  Bobby Kraft and Drew Peacock are a definite go as well, annnnnnnnnd Matt-Man…
Matt:  O’Yes?
Jay:  Sexy Aunt Jax has a song and our fave Canadian Jamie is going to be reporting from The Hammer.

Matt:  This is all making my head spin. This show is gonna be huge.

Jay:  IKR?  Irish music, Irish food…

Matt:  Irish laughter, and a special St. Paddy’s Day rebuttal from Rep. Trey Gowdy.

Jay:  Who’s that?

Matt:  The congressman with the other worldly, yet sexy hair.

Jay:  Oh yeah…I like him, and the name Gowdy?  That’s sounds Irish.

Matt:  It does indeed, hold on…I Googled it…It’s Scots/Brit.

Jay:  Well fuck him, but if he can fill some time, that’s cool.

Matt:  Maybe we should call the Irish Embassy in D.C. as well.
Jay:  They won’t be open on Sunday though.
Matt:  No, and they’ll all be drunk on Monday, but we could leave them a nice St. Patrick’s Day message.
Jay:  Let’s Do Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
Matt:  O’Kay.

To listen to IWS Radio LIVE from Noon-2 PM EDT tomorrow as we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, you can click O’HERE!!

Happy Presidents' Day from IWS Radio

Hail to the Chiefs and Happy President’s Day Chuckleheads!!

If you have the day off today in honor of the American Chief Executives past and present, bully for you and enjoy your time off.

And…

For those of you who do have the day off.  There is no better way to spend your time off than by listening to IWS Radio.

Let me tell you.  Last night, Jay, Matt, Dixie Ozark, Phil Diller, Bobby Kraft, and a cast of thousands entertained and informed the masses.

IWS covered, the Winter Olympics,  Presidential history, truly American cuisine, re-capped Valentine’s Day, and as always, broke down what’s going on weather wise.

In addition to the informative hilarity that took place, both the switchboard and our hearts lit up, when we received a call from our favorite and hottest Canadian ever, Jaaaaaaaaaaaamie.  Oh Canada, Baby!!

So today, while you are solemnly respecting the history and office holders of the American Presidency, listen to IWS Radio.

If you don’t listen, it can mean only thing…

You are, at best, un-American, and at worst…probably Norwegian.

Cheers!!

I'm Going to be on Vacation!!

Cheeeeeeeeeeeers Chuckleheads and a Happy Monday to you all!!

You know…for a long time I have worked hard, minded my own business, and done right by the Lord six days a week for five years, but guess what?

This coming Saturday, October 12th?

I have the entire day off.

Damn right.  For the first time in four months, this coming Saturday, I have a Saturday off, and you know what?

It’s going to be the Saturday of Matt.

I am looking for suggestions in order to make my Saturday off a complete mind blowing 24 hours off.

I will tell you, first of all, I am taking my BFF/OSP Schmoop out to breakfast to the Frisch’s breakfast bar which in itself, is a huge accomplishment.

You see…

Schmoop doesn’t like to mix and meddle amongst the unwashed masses.  She hates people, including herself. Which should make our rare time dining together, an utmost pleasurable experience.

After breakfast, I think I will just come home and either evacuate my colon if need be, or watch some news. FOX News that is, and if worlds are in junction, I will take a shit while listening to FOX News.

FOX and Friends Weekends brings out the best in me, and I appreciate it.  Thanks Clayton.  Thanks Tucker. Thanks Blonde Bimbo of the Week!!

Seriously though?

I don’t want this one rare Saturday off to be about nothing but eating, drinking, watching college football, and having sex with Schmoop while imagining her to be a college cheerleader.

Or do I?

You know…that doesn’t sound too bad.

Of course, if that’s my plan, I will have to eat the hell out of the eggs and bacon at the Frisch’s breakfast buffet. Need some protein.

A lot of protein.  In fact, knowing Schmoop as she is, A LOT of protein.

And then, dig it…

Jayman and I were considering taking a week off from the IWS Radio show, but guess what?  We’re still going to do one.

Yep….This Saturday October 12th from 11 AM ET until whenever, we are going to fly by the seats of our pants and talk trash.

We are not going to prepare.  We are not going to hone a pre-show rhythm.  We are just going to let it floooooow.

Man…It may not mean much to you all, but having an entire Saturday off is like hitting the lottery, and I can’t wait until this coming Saturday.

Breakfast with Schmoop.  Radio with Jay.  College football, beer, greasy snacks, and a little somethin' somethin'?

I don’t get that often.  And let me tell ya…

I can’t wait.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

In other news…IWS Radio put on another award winning radio show yesterday.  A cast of thousands were there including Jaaaaaaaamie, Sanni, and Schmoop.  So…

Give it a listen dammit!!

Matt Said, Jay Said 10 6 2013

Matt speaks…Jay kinda just sits back and let’s his premium self glow and flow.  You say, “What the Fuck?”

Cheeeeeers Bitches and welcome to an atypical version of Matt Said, Jay Said.

Typically on Saturdays, you revel in reading the transcript of Jayman and I prepping our upcoming show with the finest of finely tuned wits, however…

This Saturday is different, and do you know why?

Well let me tell you.

This Sunday’s IWS Radio Show, cleverly titled Oktoberfest 2013, has been made a staff pick by the dedicated, overworked, and evidently, very smart and comically inclined staff at Blog Talk Radio.

I know, I know…That may not be a big deal to you guys, but to Jay and I? We are all smiles because we are saying to ourselves and each other…

“Big Dick’s donation of $399.00 to allow us to go Premium on BTR has finally paid off.”

In fact, when Jayman and I found out that we are a BTR Staff Pick, we took our clothes off, oiled up, and reenacted the volleyball scene from Top Gun with each other via Skype.  We were naked, laughing, and all the while yelling, “We’re stoked!!”

That is something that I’ll never forget. One never forgets milestones…nor the sight of an oily Jayman holding a volleyball in one hand, a margarita in the other, while wearing nothing but a Viking helmet.

It’s HOT!!

And so is the Staff Pick.  In fact, here is the very moving e-mail we received from them on Friday…

Hi IWS Radio,
Congratulations!  Your show has been selected to appear in the Staff Picks section of BlogTalkRadio's homepage starting on Monday, October 7 at 12 AM EST for the next 24 hours.  Look out for it then, and don't forget to let your audience know that your show was featured on BlogTalkRadio.

Jayman and I are kinda excited.  We spend a lot of time on the website and radio show so this is kinda nice, because trust me, it’s nice to get thrown a bone once in awhile for one’s efforts.

And that is coming from ME!!  The Matt-Man… A man completely devoid of ego or self-interest.

Anyhoo…We hope you join us this Sunday from Noon-2 PM ET for our Oktoberfest 2013 celebration on IWS Radio on Blog Talk Radio.

It’s going to be a HUGE party with the likes of Paul Piatt, Guy Ahnyurdyck, and our resident German chef, Franz Bitter.

Bobby Kraft and Kirk Douglas will be there as well, annnnnnnd.....

We will have a report from our fave Canadian, “Made in Canada” Jamie as she breaks down Oktoberfest in Canada.

Perhaps we’ll call the German Embassy and a few members of Congress to get a shutdown update, and of course, we’ll be taking your calls at 661.244.9852.

We’ll be talking German Bier, German Babes, and little known German facts as well.  Sunday is going to be Deutschland Uber Alles on IWS Radio.

Please join us and help us to not let down the BTR staff for making us one of their picks of the week.

To join the fun on Sunday from Noon-2 PM ET you can click HERE!!

Prosit!!

The Beatles...Help!!

Cheeeeeeeeers Chuckleheads!!

Today’s post?  Well, it’s not really funny.  I mean, most of the IWS posts do present a modicum of humor, but this one?

Not so much.

This post is, as we say in the blog and radio business, a “housekeeping” post, and well, a note to the BTR shows out there that think they can usurp our Number One standing…that it ain’t gonna happen too often.

Read me now and acknowledge it later, Jay and I have dedicated ourselves to becoming even more creative than we already are.

I know what you’re thinking, but no, it’s true!!  We can actually be funnier and more creative than we already are.

However, there is one thing that we need from you in order to carry out our successful trek down the path of creative nirvana.

YOU!!

That’s right…

Jayman and I have brought you Drew Peacock, Slyder Balzcock, Martin, Stubby Stonehenge, Bobby Craft, Guy Ahnyurdyck, and other great, well-informed IWS characters, but we want more.  And doggone it, YOU deserve more.

Jay and I are well on our way to transforming IWS Radio from a devil-may-care internet hangout, into a bastion of must listen to radio, with a roundtable discussion much like the McLaughlin Group and an entertaining and electrifying Halloween dramedy, much akin to Orson Welles’, War of the Worlds.

Can we do it?  Yes we can!!  Can we do it?  We’re the Man!!  Er…men…whatever, and however…

We need your help.  Y’know?  Next month NPR stations will be kicking off their Fall Pledge Drives, and well, so are we here today.  However…

We aren’t asking for money, although that would be nice; we are asking for talent.

It takes a lot of time to talk back and forth with our many IWS correspondents, so perhaps, you would like to become one yourself.

We love what we do, but let me tell ya…

Jay and I aren’t no young dudes, and even with the uber-lovely Schmoop and hot as hell Jamie helpin’ out, it ain’t no Ferris Wheel ride.

So c’mon…Write a post for us.  Tell us something funny.  Record a new character who we could bring into our show.

It’s free and easy, just like your hosts. (Take that Doc Thompson)

If you have an idea for a show, a new character, would like to record something, or tell us to fuck off, let us know.

We would love to hear from you, well…not so much the fucking off part, if that’s your shtick.

So that’s it for now, but let me tell you…

Our newish correspondents, Drew Peacock and Malcolm Eckstein lit the world on fire yesterday on IWS Radio.  Thousands laughed, and thousands were offended.  A perfect mix.

And folks, to listen to all of that frivolity that you missed, you can click on the player below.  Paul Piatt, Drew Peacock, Dusty Sandman, and Malcolm Eckstein rocked the house.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattmaniws
My Facebook Page

Ohio State Football Fans and All Americans Are Stupid

Cheeeeeeeeers Chuckleheads!!

I hope all of you enjoyed your weekend and that football fans everywhere enjoyed their first full weekend of the 2013 NFL and NCAA football season.

There were a lot of great games, last minutes heroics, but mostly, drunken shenanigans in the name of football, and I appreciate that.

I love this time of year.  It is still summer, but the nights are sometimes cool, and there is of course, the glory and partying associated with football taking place.

This time of year is like Christmas in September and Labor Day in December, and no matter which way you slice it or parse it, those two holidays are analogous…or not.

Anyhoo…

I do have a problem with football fans these days and a problem with football in general.  Want to hear my problems with the sport and/or event that we call football?  No?

Good, and I am anxious to write about it.

Over the past decade, the number of football fans has exploded, but here’s the thing.  Many of these so-called fans, aren’t really football fans.

They are at best sunshine football patriots who enjoy throwing a party, a feeling of belonging, and at faux fandom’s worst…

Get to weave their hard life realities into the game day dialogue about “their team.”

Y’know?  That last one…the “my team thing?”  That drives me crazy!!

I don’t know about you, but here in Ohio, ninety percent of the college football “fans” are Ohio State fans.

And for some odd reason, the ninety-nine percent of OSU fans of whom I speak, have no personal association, connection, nor anything in common with OSU other than they are both located in Ohio, and like those who do attend OSU, the fans can neither read nor write.

I’m not an entirely stupid guy, but one thing I have never understood, is this slobbering, incoherent, live and die, cry if “my team” loses, mindset.  OSU fans that I know are like this, and I am sure that there are many more.

Okay so you went to school there and even if you weren’t on the team you can be an uber fan, but if you didn’t go there and are still a voracious fan, you have issues…issues with which, I am intrigued, but would rather know nothing about.

NFL fans are just as bad, and as they are typically older, it may even be a bit more disturbing…

I am eighty miles from Paul Brown Stadium and three times that distance from Cleveland and yet, on a weekend basis during football season, I will see at least three dozen grown men wearing OSU, Michigan, Notre Dame, Bengals and/or Browns jerseys etc…

And I say to myself…

“Self, why are there jersey wearing adult men and women crying over a loss and celebrating over a win with which they had nothing to do…other than to watch others do it?”

See?  It’s okay to wear a tasteful T-Shirt or what not in order to show some subtle and tasteful support fro a team, but when a grown person wears a jersey, it only exacerbates that abnormal thought in their head that they are part of the team.

So please, stop it.  It’s getting out of hand.

I actually read on Facebook this week a comment from a Steelers fan commenting to one of his friends…

“Don’t talk to me until your team has won five Super Bowls like mine has.”

I am sure….well, I hope he was joking…but it was the, “I am actually on the team” feel in his comment that gave me a case of the goo.

The worse thing is, this fanatic feeling of rooting for and wanting to win, has invaded our psyche, the governing of our nation, and the political discourse that takes place in the media.

Listen to Sean Hannity, Rachel Maddow, The Five, and Chris Matthews on TV for a couple of days, and you’ll find…

They are just like an Ohio State football fan, they don’t care why, or what has to happen to make it so; they just want to win.

Because winning and being like everybody else, and better who they think themselves to be individually, is far more important than due diligence and common sense.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS
My Facebook Page

And why you chew on that bone of sunshine, you can listen to IWS Radio…Jay and I had a masterpiece of a show going yesterday…AND our uber-lovely friend from Canada, Jamie, was so taken with us, she called in TWICE!!

                                   

Our Anniversary is Coming Up and Gifts are Encouraged!!

Cheers, and how is everyone today? Well I hope, and anyhoo…

Y’know folks?

This past Sunday on the IWS Radio Show which featured bad poetry and Mexican-Americans who get turned on by chicks who can sound like a man, Jayman and I put on one helluva two hour internet radio show.

Some of the hilarity and professional type radio brilliance came from Jayman and I; however, much of it came from our hardworking IWS Radio team.

People such as…

Bobby Kraft…Guy Ahnyurdyck…Dixie Ozark…Slyder Balzcock…Kirk Douglas…Paul Piatt, and of course, the man with no first name…Rev. Moneymaker.

But of course, what made the show a success were the guests in the chat room, and the caller-inners.

People such as…

The Lady Killer, Jesse Ferg…The Bryon with a Y lovin’, Nurse Sherri…Our newest American Luis, and his hilarious wife Michelle…A fun-loving, non-gay man from Northern California, one Brown Beasely…and of course…

That North of the Border Hot Mess of Disorder, the uber-lovely Canadian, Jamie…who was listening from her bed, and as far as Jay and I could tell and/or imagined, she was naked while doing so.

Yeah that’s great and all that Matt-Man, but what is your point?

My point is…

While I enjoy doing the show every Sunday with Jayman, yesterday I had FUN doing the show because we had great callers, great chat room guests, and THAT, is a recipe for fun, and I am sure that Jayman feels the same way.

Jayman and I can do a show and banter quasi-wittingly amongst ourselves for 120 minutes, but it is always more fun when people chime in.

You see?  If people don’t chime in during our show, it poses the age-old question.

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around, does it make a noise?  Likewise…

If Jay and I do a radio show, and nobody joins in, was the only noise created, that of our own voices?  Yes!! And really?  Who wants that?

Nobody.  Not even Tiffany Dupont nor a falling tree in a forest that makes no sound…or something, but anyhoo…

So folks, at long last, here is my point.

This Sunday, August 25th from Noon-2 PM ET on IWS Radio, Jayman and I will be celebrating the end of our third season on Blog Talk Radio, and we’d like your help.

We want you to help us fill the chat room.  We want anyone and everyone to call-in; we’d like you to record and send to us your words of encouragement or disdain, and we want to have one helluva send off to season number three of IWS Radio.

Help a couple of bruthas out, as we celebrate season three and look forward to season four, but…

Just don’t sound like Schmoop when doing so, because as she said to me early Sunday morning…

“Oh Dear God!!  There’s Going to be a Season Four!!?”

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page