Jay and Matt Killed It Yesterday

Oh sure, counting today Thanksgiving is still days away, but let me tell you…

Yesterday on IWS Radio?  Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players were cooking the turkey, praising the praises of others, and joyfully blessing everyone and everything that has made their lives better this year.

After friendly opening banter that included talk about NCAA basketball and football, Jay and Matt begged dared people to call-in and discuss how much they hated green bean casserole.  Nobody dared to challenge these two lovers of the aforementioned dish on this issue.

Sports Director Slyder Balzcock chimed in on how he was thankful for having Jayman as a friend and hoped that his thankfulness would turn into a free steak dinner.

Alarmist Weatherman was thankful for a few gadgets while Bobby Kraft listed a myriad of things for which he is grateful.  On the surface, many of these things seemed unseemly, but after further review, they were even more unseemly than originally thought.

The lovely Miss Jamie Mapleleaf provided tips to all Americans on how to better improve and Canadianize their Thanksgiving celebration.

Mr. Vague may or may have not explained all of the reasons as to why he is thankful, yet Beer Mine Beth definitely made her feelings known as we called her LIVE at the Beer Mine.

Schmoop was thankful for Matt, Jay and IWS Radio...we think.

Dusty, Joshua, KleeShay, Martin, The Rev, and Drew Peacock proclaimed Thanksgiving to be a holiday of peace…or something.

Guy Ahnyurdyck and Stubby Stonehenge looked at Thanksgiving as a time to get sloppy drunk as they discussed willy-willies.

All in all it was a good time as Jay and Matt celebrated their friends, family, and neighbors and took a multitude of congratulatory phone calls as they celebrated peace on earth and all that shit.

If you missed yesterday’s show LIVE, you can always catch it below in archives, so please do.  Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team would be very thankful that you did…

Jayman is Ready to Lead the Hogs to Victory!

Hola y’all! As you may or may not know, the University of Arkansas is in the process of hiring a new head football coach. I don’t know what was so bad about the one they had, but I guess they felt the need to get a new one. Oh wait. I do know what was so bad about him. Never mind on that. Anyway, I thought I would use this wildly popular blog as a way of publicly applying for the job. I have many great qualities that I think the UofA should be looking for.

- I can spell both “Arkansas” and “Razorbacks” without any assistance.

- I can find Fayetteville, AR on a map as well as at least 12 of the other 13 teams in the SEC. I’ve never made any attempt to find out where Auburn is, so I would have to look that school up.

- I have a southern accent so I will fit in.

- I LOVE fried chicken and potato salad so I’ll have no problem going all the football banquets all over the state.

- As a world famous internet radio star, I have excellent communication skills and would have no trouble dealing with the brutal Arkansas media.

- I have the most sincere and undeniable dislike of the University of Alabama of any candidate for the job.

- I can be trusted not to embarrass the school by hitting on Erin Andrews publicly.

- I totally understand the whole four downs and 10 yards to get a first down stuff.

- I get the concept that credit cards are for school expenses and cash is for strippers and players.

- I would give much better advice on a color scheme for the new uniforms than the previous coach did.

- I’ll take exactly half of what the new coach is asking for. Half the pay, half the housing allowance, half the car allowance, half the bonuses, etc. (This excludes the health insurance benefits. I would have to demand 100% of that one. I’m sure you understand.)

- You won’t have to worry about me having an affair with some chick that works for the school or the Razorback Foundation as I’ll be too busy dating strippers.

- I can use my skills as the aforementioned international radio star to promote the UofA and all the players student athletes and get the UofA lots and lots of publicity.

- I have plenty of red shirts already so you won’t have to spend too much on my clothing allowance. But, I would like a really sweet pair of red and white checkered polyester pants like Lou Holts used to wear by in the 70’s.

- I’ve got all the football coaching clichés like “give it 110% at all times” and “we’re scrappy” and “we’re tough to beat” and “that guy is a threat to take it all the way on any play” and “we’ve got some good match ups we can take advantage of out there” and all the others down pat. The media will always get a good quote from me.

- Unlike everyone else I love that big, silly blow up hog head that the players come running out of before home games, so you don’t have to worry about my getting rid of that since it seems like the UofA’s top brass is totally committed to keeping it anyway.

- I can use my internet savvy and social media experience to knock down and/or start rumors on message boards as needed.

- If, after three years and several millions of dollars in salary paid, things aren’t working out, I will graciously and quietly accept a reasonable buyout and step aside for someone else. I think the guarantee of no lawsuits (assuming a fair buyout) is something that should take a lot of pressure off school officials and be my top selling point.

So, as everyone can see I am very clearly a legitimate candidate for this position. I can’t imagine why the UofA would pass an opportunity like this up. I will keep my phone close to me as I await Vice Chancellor and Director of Athletics Jeff Long’s phone call.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

Arkansas HAD to Fire Bobby Petrino

Hola sports fans desperate for a winning program! One of the biggest trends in college athletics right now is building statues. Alabama has a statue of Bear Bryant AND they recently built one for current head football coach Nick Saban. Penn State has one of Joe Paterno, but it didn’t seem all that realistic for some reason. So, they fixed that by turning it 180 degrees so it would be looking the other way. Hey-OOOOOOOOOO!

So, I’m going to propose that my alma mater the University of Arkansas commission two statues to place out front of Razorback Stadium. They will be twin rednecks wearing overalls and Hog Hats and they will be depicted with their hands in the air Calling the Hogs. We can then name them “Denial” and “Delusion.”

Let me get this straight Hog Fans. Bobby Petrino wrecks his motorcycle, lies to his boss and the whole state about there not being a passenger, allows the UofA to tell everyone that, says it again in his press conference (more or less) and then hangs on to the lie until 20 minutes before the state police report is going to made public? Then, we find out that the 25 year old hottie riding with him is his mistress? And THEN we find out that Bobby had just given his mistress a job in the football program that reports directly to him only eight days earlier? A job that 159 applicants?? And that Petrino gave this chick $20,000 in cash?? And your response to all this is to say “But, he’s a winner! We can’t fire him!!!” Really?

Hell, they even set up a Facebook fan support page for Bobby which reads in part: “Support our Coach! HOG NATION ban together and Support Coach Bobby Petrino!!”

Really guys? “Ban” together? Come on!

They held a rally in Fayetteville Monday night to show their support for Bobby. Check out the sign one cat brought to the event…

Ha! Now that’s cute. I’m guessing he’s single. The Facebook page has 22,000 “likes” but barely 200 showed up for the rally? That’s because 21,800 men couldn't come up with a good excuse to leave the house Monday night that their wives would have accepted.

Is our inferiority complex such that we’re really going to rally around this guy? Are we so desperate for a winning football program that we’re going to just sit back and let this go? You people are out there saying we “OWE” Bobby Petrino our support. Yeah, well what does he “owe” us? What does he “owe” the UofA and athletic director Jeff Long?

Arkansas fans are so delusional and desperate and have so tied up their own self-worth in the success of a football team that they are in complete denial about Petrino and what has happened here. Hell, most of them are ignoring the lies, cover ups, payoffs and job and saying stupid things like “It’s none of our business if Petrino had an affair and it’s certainly no reason to fire a man!” Or worse, some are still trying to claim that Petrino is a “Good and Decent CHRISTIAN man.”

Unlike these people, while I certainly support and root for the Hogs, I’m not suffering from battered wife syndrome and don’t feel the need to desperately hang onto a coach just because he wins games and ignore all the other crap that he did and that you KNOW would happen again. Where is your pride Arkansas? You people trying to convince me this is no big deal and Petrino is a good man need to GTFO of here.

And so does Bobby Petrino.

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS