Hi IWS Radio fans, former congressman and host of MSNBC's Morning Joe, Joe Scarborough here to thank Jay and Matt for featuring me and others from MSNBC on tomorrow's IWS Radio Show.
Rarely, do you find two more fair and balanced members of the media on one show, but these two miscreants make it happen, make it work, and most importantly...
They are nearly as hilarious Chris Hayes and Mika Brzezinski.
So for once in my life, allow me to shut my always yakking pie hole and let them explain what will be happening on tomorrow's IWS Radio Show....
Well, last week Mat-Man and Jayman "celebrated" Fox News on IWS Radio. And of course, by "celebrated" we mean "made fun of." So, it's only fitting that we "celebrate" MSNBC this week. MSNBC is a special place with special people. Their ratings are low, but their ambitions are high. And, some of their hosts might be high too, but that's purely speculation on our part. So, Matt and Jay are going to take an in-depth look at MSNBC and its people and really break down what the network is trying to be and how it all works. Or, doesn't work as the case may be. We'll also celebrate some of our favorite on air personalities like Chris "The Interrupter" Matthews and Chuck "The Moron" Todd and all the rest of the folks there at the "Liberal Fox News" network. As always, our Canadian Bureau Chief Jamie Mapleleaf and the IWS Players will be along to entertain you and possibly make you think. Plus there will be wonderful witty banter and some very bad music. All this and YOUR CALLS @ 661.244.9852!
Sounds like a well-thought out and hilarious if not hurtful show. So, join them LIVE tomorrow from NOON-2 PM ET as IWS Radio presents: MSNBC Weasles Its Way Onto IWS Radio
To catch the show LIVE or later in archives click right HERE.
A whole lotta nothing exciting going on around here, or is there?
Let’s find out, by just letting the personal headlines from my head ooze out onto the always artful pages of the IWS website.
Dateline…Commonwealth of Virginia…Headline reads…
Terry “I’m a Carpet Bagging Car Salesman” McAuliffe defeats Ken “Transvaginal Ultrasound” Cuccinelli to win the title of, Slightly Less Creepy of the Two Old Dominion Gubernatorial Candidates.
Dateline…Bagwine, Ohio Apartment 102...New Furnace Installed, Schmoop Gets Hot Just Looking at It.
The always cold IWS Radio bit player Schmoop, shone a rare smile today when she eyed a new Goodman furnace nestled snugly within the IWS Bagwine Studio. Isn't it pretty?
Upon final installation of said furnace, she chirped…
“Sweet!! Now I can quit using Matt-Man as a blanket, send him back to his couch, and get eight hours of quality, undisturbed sleep every night. Praise Jeebus!!”
Sometimes when Schmoop speaks extemporaneously and I am within ear shot, it is quite hurtful, but…I sally forth, and hide my hurt and bitterness from her. I only cry when she goes to work, or when I am at work, or…when she rests with a smile upon her face while I TYPE IN ANGER!!
Kidding, of course…sorta.
Anyhoo…
When I read my timeline on Twitter…I almost always say to myself, “America certainly does get the government she deserves.”
The tweets from the right and the left are enough to propel Hitler, Hindenburg, Stalin, and Trotsky to get along, and all the while asking each other…
“Let’s see if Roosevelt and Churchill would like to come over for drinks and a wicked game of charades.”
If America, any country, or the fragile sanity of the world is to survive, we all need to let go of this, “You’re either with me or against me” bullshit.
You know what’s funny?
Outraged TRUE conservatives like Sean Hannity and his tea bagging partiers want reform, and yet…
They cling like Socialists to the political meal ticket of the GOP. They claim that they want reform, but don’t have the guts nor the electability to do it on their own, so?
They whine about their own party, which of course, they do “in no way belong”…
What? Fucking pussies.
Left wing Democrats? They are euphoric. In spite of themselves and a President who couldn’t lead a baloney sandwich and a bag of pretzels from its paper bag into the mouth of a hungry, lunch-time sixth grader, celebrate the victory of last night’s elections.
What a joke.
Nobody cares about governing. Nobody cares. Left, Right, Conservative, or Liberal. Nobody cares about you or I. Or about Peter, about Paul, about Shirley. Ha!!
You thought I was going to say Mary, didn’t you?
Eh…Politicians just want to get re-elected, and folks like Hannity, Maddow, and others, just want to get ratings.
Many Americans want to be part of a winning team. Whether it be a football team, a Baseball team, or sadly, a political party.
They want to win. Unfortunately, while electioneering is a game of skill and chance, governing is not, and that is where Americans blow it. A 51% to 49% vote total is not a win if the man or woman that we elected has no idea how to govern.
And lastly…
A shout-out to Jayman and his family, as oft time mentioned Nana Creta passed away yesterday afternoon at the age of 95. I often made jokes about her longevity, and feel a missing of her already.
I dig anyone who can transcend the averages like she did, and am saddend by her passing. So…
Pass your heart felt sympathies on to Jayman and his family today, if you would. I am sure he would appreciate it.
Cheeeeeeeeers, and a Happy Tuesday to ya, Chuckleheads!!
Y’know?
I hate it when I have nothing topical to write about that excites me, but when I am in that type of pattern and just not “feelin’ it”, I try to think of things in general that excite me, make me mad, or more often than not, make me laugh.
I am burned out by the 24/7 news coverage of the Obamacare/Debt Ceiling/Government Shutdown impasse that is raging like an out of control wildfire burning slowly and painfully like an ember at the Millard Fillmore Perpetual Pyre of Obscurity, which of course is still open because it receives no Federal funding and well…doesn't really exist, but anyhoo…
The only redeeming thing about the incessant and repetitive coverage of this latest American political crisis, is the fact that cable news pundits, talk radio hosts, and viewers and callers of, and to, such media venues headline an all-star and Tony Award winning cast in the newest American stage comedy classic…
“Buffoonery, Hypocrisy, and Ideology on Parade!!”
Oy Vey folks!! What the hell is wrong with these people on TV, Radio, and their audiences?
It’s as though the late Timothy Leary has taken over programming for every damn political TV and Radio show, and at the same time is the host, guest, and caller-in to every damn show!!
It’s cwazy, wacky and it’s making my head spin, making me laugh, and making me feel much better about myself than I ever had, well…other than that one time at Bowling Green State University in 1983 when I had hot post-Homecoming sex with a Republican chick named Ann Barlage. Mmmmmmmmm…
That was some hot bi-partisan sex right there boy!! See, unlike the ideologues of today, both in the media and the Congress…
We reached across the aisle, agreed to disagree, and then filibustered the hell out of each other until the second Sunday in October sun rose, and while creeping through the blinds, dappled us, and the empty wine bottles, with her golden crepuscular rays that said unto Ann and I…
“Your motions were more than well approved by one and other. Now go, and sin no more.”
See?
Why is it so hard for Rush Limbaugh to get along with Rachel Maddow? Why is it so difficult for Sean Hannity to say that Joe Scarborough is not a RINO?
Why in the hell can’t Ted Cruz and Sarah Palin think of Barack Obama and Joe Biden as swell dudes? And why can’t Rachel, Joe, Barack, and Joe think the same of them!?
Because people…A bitter, monocular, and turgid ideology is hard to overcome, but the answer is so simple, and that is what makes me laugh about all of this Obamacare/Debt Ceiling/Government Shutdown bullshit.
If like Ann and I, Limbaugh had sex with Maddow. And Hannity had sex with Scarborough. And then we made a porn film called, Ted, Sarah, Barack, and Joe, and What Harry Reid Saw, all would be right with the world, and America could move forward.
It’s not that hard, and ideally…Maybe if Joe Scarborough plays his cards right, he could have sex with Sean; Sean could get divorced as well, and Joe could make Hannity his third wife.
But…baby steps…Let’s just get America back onto the road to recovery for now, and think about the Irish nuptials later.
I hope all of you enjoyed your weekend and that football fans everywhere enjoyed their first full weekend of the 2013 NFL and NCAA football season.
There were a lot of great games, last minutes heroics, but mostly, drunken shenanigans in the name of football, and I appreciate that.
I love this time of year. It is still summer, but the nights are sometimes cool, and there is of course, the glory and partying associated with football taking place.
This time of year is like Christmas in September and Labor Day in December, and no matter which way you slice it or parse it, those two holidays are analogous…or not.
Anyhoo…
I do have a problem with football fans these days and a problem with football in general. Want to hear my problems with the sport and/or event that we call football? No?
Good, and I am anxious to write about it.
Over the past decade, the number of football fans has exploded, but here’s the thing. Many of these so-called fans, aren’t really football fans.
They are at best sunshine football patriots who enjoy throwing a party, a feeling of belonging, and at faux fandom’s worst…
Get to weave their hard life realities into the game day dialogue about “their team.”
Y’know? That last one…the “my team thing?” That drives me crazy!!
I don’t know about you, but here in Ohio, ninety percent of the college football “fans” are Ohio State fans.
And for some odd reason, the ninety-nine percent of OSU fans of whom I speak, have no personal association, connection, nor anything in common with OSU other than they are both located in Ohio, and like those who do attend OSU, the fans can neither read nor write.
I’m not an entirely stupid guy, but one thing I have never understood, is this slobbering, incoherent, live and die, cry if “my team” loses, mindset. OSU fans that I know are like this, and I am sure that there are many more.
Okay so you went to school there and even if you weren’t on the team you can be an uber fan, but if you didn’t go there and are still a voracious fan, you have issues…issues with which, I am intrigued, but would rather know nothing about.
NFL fans are just as bad, and as they are typically older, it may even be a bit more disturbing…
I am eighty miles from Paul Brown Stadium and three times that distance from Cleveland and yet, on a weekend basis during football season, I will see at least three dozen grown men wearing OSU, Michigan, Notre Dame, Bengals and/or Browns jerseys etc…
And I say to myself…
“Self, why are there jersey wearing adult men and women crying over a loss and celebrating over a win with which they had nothing to do…other than to watch others do it?”
See? It’s okay to wear a tasteful T-Shirt or what not in order to show some subtle and tasteful support fro a team, but when a grown person wears a jersey, it only exacerbates that abnormal thought in their head that they are part of the team.
So please, stop it. It’s getting out of hand.
I actually read on Facebook this week a comment from a Steelers fan commenting to one of his friends…
“Don’t talk to me until your team has won five Super Bowls like mine has.”
I am sure….well, I hope he was joking…but it was the, “I am actually on the team” feel in his comment that gave me a case of the goo.
The worse thing is, this fanatic feeling of rooting for and wanting to win, has invaded our psyche, the governing of our nation, and the political discourse that takes place in the media.
Listen to Sean Hannity, Rachel Maddow, The Five, and Chris Matthews on TV for a couple of days, and you’ll find…
They are just like an Ohio State football fan, they don’t care why, or what has to happen to make it so; they just want to win.
Because winning and being like everybody else, and better who they think themselves to be individually, is far more important than due diligence and common sense.
And why you chew on that bone of sunshine, you can listen to IWS Radio…Jay and I had a masterpiece of a show going yesterday…AND our uber-lovely friend from Canada, Jamie, was so taken with us, she called in TWICE!!
Cheers Chuckleheads!!
Yesterday, after broadcasting along with Jayman yetanother award winning episode of I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio which revolved around all the sexting scandals and bad behavior that is transpiring in our society, I took a nap.
Okay…I ate a humongous double fish sandwich lovingly prepared by my friends at Rally’s, and then took a nap, but nonetheless…
When I awoke, I was thinking more seriously about Weinergate, Sanfordgate, Geraldogate, and said to myself…
“You know Matt-Man…Old men texting pics of themselves and speaking illicitly to young women, and knowing that old women do the same thing with younger men. That‘s funny shit right there.”
And then I remembered something that Noel Paul Stookey, the Paul of Peter, Paul, and Dead Mary fame, said years ago; something to the effect…
“As far as magazines go, we used to have LIFE, and then…we had People…after that, came Us…before you know it, we will have a magazine called, Me. It will be a magazine cover with a mirror on it.”
Good ol’ Paul was not too far off.
We do have a magazine called Me, but instead of it being constucted of paper, print, and staples, it comes in the form of the internet…in the form of Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, 24/7 Cable News, radio, and to the chagrin of the masses who listen to our radio show, in the form of Blog Talk Radio, and a myriad of other social media outlets.
Oh Dear God…
MSNBC’s Melissa Harris-Perry puts a syllabus up on her Facebook page before her show that nobody watches. And why would they? Who wants to watch a show anchored by a somewhat black chick pretentious professor of color who talks and talks, says nothing, and wears tampon earrings?
Rachel Maddow is one who digs deep into the facts, yet, she only reports the facts that agree with her own sensibilities.
And of course there is Chris Matthews and Al Sharpton…Chris wants to make love to the President and Sharpton wants more from the President.
On the other hand…
Over at FOX NEWS and the right wing media circus.
Every morning as the rooster crows, Steve Doocy, Brian Kilmeade, and avant-garde MENSA President Gretchen Carlson level words of vitriol against President Obama for things like not paying for the penicillin to treat the gonorrhea of one, Lance Corporal Joe Middle America which he contracted during a stay in a Dhaka hotel with a Bangledeshi hooker.
Herman Cain has a radio show and he talks about repealing “Obamacare.” He doesn’t talk solutions, but he does talk repealing.
Rush Limbaugh talks about how Obama is the worst President in history, and that the morals of this country have gone down hill. And then? He goes home to his third wife, and smacks his nanny/drug mule on the ass and berates her for being too slow with the goods.
Sean Hannity may be the best of all. For three weeks he has talked about the travesty of the Trayvon Martn case, Obama’s socialism, and how white people are looked upon funny, and yet?
He cries a sparrow’s cry and weeps because our country is so divided, and he doesn’t understand why.
Here’s the thing…
Just like Weiner, Geraldo, and Sanford who immersed themselves into their own egos, lusts, and fully exposed themselves for the world to see, the people who cover these people and their stories, do it on a daily basis.
Lispy Girl, Maddow, Limbaugh, and Hannity…none of them give a fuck about making a difference, they just as does Anthony Weiner, want their numbers to shoot up.
Those media clowns are no different than the legislators that we elect, and the legislators that when indifferent to their agenda, they rail against on air.
Just as a, I’m going to change the world, bright-eyed politician wins his first seat, over time, he or she makes it about him or herself, and so do broadcasters.
After all, politicians aren’t there to help you out. They’re there to get re-elected. And broadcasters?
They aren't there to inform you. They are there to get renewed.
But....If you want to hear great journalism and funny stuff...Listen to I'm With Stupid which aired LIVE yesterday and we talked SEXTING!!
Hello. Hank Philpot here. I’m a friend of Matt-Man. I was going off on some things the other day to him and he said I could write down my bitches about the world today on this blog thing.
He told me that today, I could consider the IWS blog to be my, tablet razor or something like that. I don’t know what he meant by that, but here I am….Hank Philpot.
Now listen, this basketball coach at Rutgers, Mike Rice? It seems he’s in a boatload of trouble.
I guess he was trying to get his Scarlet Knights of Rutgers basketball team in shape for the season and he was too hard on the God Damn pansies.
He threw basketballs at them…He pushed them…He called them faggots…Well let me tell you…
My father used to beat me on the ass with a bolo paddle for calling my sister a whore, and my Drill Sergeant, Gunny Sarge Buck Masters used to stick a bayonet up my ass for being three seconds late to a drill.
Don’t give me this, “He was too hard on those basketball boys, shit.” Shut the Fuck Up!!
Coach Rice just wanted them to be ready for when they played big time schools with darkies who play with one hand on the ball and another hand carrying a switchblade.
If you can’t see that, well…you can’t see that your 12 year old is boy probably gonna turn out to be a gay bastard who views Rachel Maddow as the man that Chris Hayes wishes he could be.
It’s just wrong, and if you don’t agree…Shut the Fuck Up!!
And now that I have invoked the names of people who appear on MSNBC have you seen the following..?
Alex Wagner…Cute as hell…I’d take her down and pluck her in my chicken coop anytime, but man she opens her pretentious mouth, and I say, “Shut the Fuck up.”
And then there is Mika Brzezinski, liberal star of Morning Joe on MSNBC…Jesus Christ…That chick has been riding on the coat tails of her dad since, well…ever since her dad helped Jimmy Carter to become irrelevant. But in all fairness, her dad has a thick accent so, that makes him smart.
Mika has no accent, so….well…her stupidity shines through. You know what I have to say about that?
Mika? You’re not bright!! So shut the fuck up!!
Oh people. Some are coming around to our gun-toting, God-Loving side…
I was told by a devout quasi-Catholic, yet somewhat agnostic, religion reporting guy this week that he hates Martin Bashir as well…
And why shouldn’t he?
Sure...Martin Bashir stands tall among his fellow Christ Haters, in all of his MSNBC, London born Pakistani glory in a tight knit seersucker suit coat talking in his condescending UK accent to Americans, while aggrandizing about our hate for foreigners, but...you know what Mr. Pak Man?
Shut the Fuck Up!!
Sure…We can let the children in, but then? We should eat them!! I hear that that is what they do in those types of heathen countries from which you came illegally!!
As many of you know, while I am a registered Independent I lean to the left, and ergo while I do watch a fair amount of FOX News because I am edgy that way, I watch a fair amount of MSNBC.
Typically, I only watch Morning Joe with Joe Scarborough and the insidious and hideous Mika Brzenzinski, however…
Sometimes, late at night, when Schmoop has refused to have sex with me and I have nothing better to do, I watch the night time line up on MSNBC.
Rachel Maddow…Blows!! “Oh, I have no agenda, I am just a policy wonk.” Whatever. And now..?
Chris Hayes…And with his new show All In, which is a stupid title by the way, we have two Rachel Maddows on MSNBC during the evening.
I know, I know…MSNBC feels that they have to fight the right wing fire of FOX News with fire, but Holy Fucking Christ, could they fight the FOX News fire with people who can relate to Joe and Joan Smith and not kowtow to the purely Democrat demographic that represents regular people and not those who wear bicycle helmets while mowing grass and putting a Brita Filter on their garden water hose?
Late night MSNBC reminds me of Ohio State Buckeye fans…Insufferable. Dear God in a word, they are, insidious…
I am as I said, pretty liberal, but Rachel Maddow and Chris Hayes? Well, they blow…Lawrence O’Donnell? He’s okay, because he is actually entertaining, and not, “Jesus, Conservatives are the Anti-Christ, let’s kill ourselves now.” type of guy…Okay…
Maybe he is…but he has a sense of humor about it…Maddow and Hayes? No. They blow.
MSNBC makes quite a bit of fun of FOX News, but they are no different. MSNBC is as left as FOX is right, except during the Morning Joe Show.
Morning Joe is pretty good, well…other than Mika’s oogly, Nanny, Liberal-State mentality, and Scarborough isn’t bad, but the best reason to watch is that the guests that they have on, are pretty good. The guests cover the political spectrum.
I know some of you hate that, because you want to hear the choir sing, but they do have divergent opinions.
GASP!!
You know what’s funny…because of who we are and what we look like, Jayman and I get labeled with a Liberal MSNBC label much like Jews got labeled with a number. YES, it’s that severe!!
I find that funny as hell…dumbfucks.
Jayman and I make fun of everyone from Obama, to McConnell, to the quasi-late, and not so great Arial Sharon…
Some people don’t understand that. You know why?
Because many people think that you should fall into one category or the other, one camp or the next, one party or the next…
And that my friends, is what is wrong with America. A large majority of Americans want to win…Want to see their side make it across the political goal line.
To people like Sean Hannity, Ed Schultz, Ann Coulter, Rachel Maddow, and their thousands of devotees, becoming a better nation has no merit.
It’s all about scoring that game winning political touchdown.
THAT is what is what is wrong with America.
In the course of a football game, one side can win, one side can lose, but in the end, a good football game is all about the fans, or at least it should be, and while too often the fan who paid good money for a seat gets screwed…perhaps they should demand their money back.
Yesterday, Jayman wrote about some people with whom he’s had enough. He ended his insightful and biting piece of commentary with…
“I could go on, and on, and on. But, I won’t.”
I certainly understand that, however…I will pick up where the Jayman left off.
Hey Ray Lewis, Tim Tebow, other footballers, baseballers, basketballers, and NASCAR, um….ers…After a big play or a big win, don’t say it was God’s will and/or, He was watching over you. God doesn't give a damn who wins a football game, hits a home run, or nips another inbred driver at the checkered flag.
You can have, and enjoy all the personal faith and religion you want, but seriously? When you say shit like that in your post-game interview?
God is looking down upon you saying, “What an asshole, I didn't even know they were playing today.”
There are a lot of Republicans not feeling the love of Obama wanting former U.S. Senator Chuck Hagel (R-NE) to become his next Secretary of Defense. Why is that?
Because among other things, Sen. C-Hage doesn’t kowtow to the Israeli lobbyists, and once said…
“The Jewish lobby intimidates a lot of people up here…. I’m not an Israeli senator. I’m a United States senator.”
GASP!! Hagel doesn’t put Israel above all other nations, nor his own!? Blasphemer!!
Y’know?
People who are appalled at that statement, need to shut the fuck up. Fuck both the government of Israel, and the U.S. legislators who are outraged when anything bad, or in this case, neutral, is said about the Israeli government and their biblical and svengali-like hold over the UNITED STATES Congress.
Hell…If Republicans and evangelicals had their way, Jerusalem’s answer to Terri Schiavo, one Ariel Sharon, would be our next U.S. Defense Secretary.
I thought Republicans were against Obama and his trip down Socialist Lane. If Republicans despise socialistic handouts, why are they not outraged that Israel is nothing more than a Middle East crack whore looking for a U.S. handout to the shofar tune of 80 Gazillion shekels a year?
Hey all of you self-absorbed morons who come through the Beer Mine while talking on your cell phone and have the audacity to give the, “Wait a minute finger.” You are not that important, and I will tell you so and to move along, and if you want to complain to the owner?
Don’t bother…He’s not nearly as nice nor as diplomatic about that as I am.
Facebook? Women on Facebook drive me nuts with their, "Women are special, but it takes the right man to see that." Pfffffffft.
Women aren't any more special than men. Some women are cunts, and some men are dickheads. We're all human and some of us, including women, are assholes. You want equal rights? Well, accept your equal rights, responsibility, and the fact that some of you are hideous, unlovable psychopaths.
Twitter People? I love comments, retweets, and the like, but if it is in reference to something I tweeted six hours ago, just refrain from tweeting me something to the effect, “I absolutely agree, Matt-Man. Ha!!”
I will not have a clue as to what I said that you agree with. I mean…I appreciate it and all, but six hours after the tweet? Merely appreciate my tweet amongst yourself.
Don Imus, Sean Hannity, Ed Schultz, Rachel Maddow, and the Three Stooges on FOX and Friends in the mornings have their heads and egos up their asses so far, that they get hair on their tongue.
Especially Gretchen Carlson…Oh Dear God…That chick is proof positive that you need not be pretty on the inside nor the outside to be voted, Miss America. Uuch.
Oh, and Lance Armstrong? Just shut the hell up and change the name of your foundation from LiveStrong to LiveJuiced.
Cheater...pussy...crybaby...
Okay…I guess I am done for now…There are so many other people whom I have had enough of, but as Jayman said yesterday, I too, will simply say…
Leo Getz: Leo Getz, private investigator. Martin Riggs: [into phone with fake accent] Private investigator? Yes, Mr. Getz, I was just wondering if you'd be willing to investigate my privates. Leo Getz: Investigate what? Martin Riggs: My privates, you stupid shit - Shut the Fuck Up!
--Lethal Weapon 4
“Really? Seriously? Shut the Fuck Up!!”
--Matt-Man periodically 1975-Present
Cheers Bitches!! Matt-Man here.
Y’know? In spite of my oft times apparently blunt nature on the venues of various social media sites, I am actually quite the peacekeeper…the diplomat…the one who looks to find common ground between battling parties.
And yet? I, the Matt-Man, a man who has the wisdom of Solomon and the patience of Job, sometimes has no recourse other than to tell certain people to, Shut the Fuck Up!!
What follows, is a partial list of people whom I wish would, Shut the Fuck Up… Mitt Romney...
Dude, you believe in nothing. You have no soul and you used the tragedy of the assassination of an American diplomat in hopes of gaining political favor. Shut the Fuck Up!! In fact, just keep sucking Bebe Netanyahu's dick so you will be unable to talk. Parasite!!
Sean Hannity…
Oh Dear God, you blockheaded, my way or the highway Republican imbecile who would criticize the manner in which President Obama takes a dump if you had knowledge of it. Shut the Fuck Up!!
The Catholic Church is all up in your ass and you cry when Obama doesn’t want to spend quality time with Israeli Prime Minister Bebe Netanyahu. Netanyahu is an arrogant thug who wants America to go to war for him. Shut the fuck up Hannity!!
Bebe Netanyahu…
See above and Shut the Fuck Up, and while you’re at it…since Israel is a successful democracy, fund your own battles against Iran and dirt eating, rock throwing Palestinians, and Shut the Fuck Up!! Bacon Hater!!
Zealous Palestinian Nationalists…
Quit throwing rocks and firing rockets at Israel, and Shut the Fuck Up!! One other thing, the use of soap is not offensive to Allah. He told me so.
Libyan and Egyptian Muslim Extremists…
Gee…I’m sorry that some American nut, named Pastor Terry Jones, made a video making fun of Mohammed, but it’s no reason to storm a U.S. Embassy in Egypt, and kill innocent people in Libya.
Discover the joy of eating a BLT, drinking a cold beer, and please, by all means, Shut the Fuck Up!! And do me a another favor as well…
Could you fuckers agree on one way to Anglicize the name Mohammed, or Muhammad, or Muhamma-what the fuck ever? I thank you in advance. You fuckers are exhausting. It’s the Mao Tse-Tung name game all over again!! And this guy is not gonna stand for it.
Harry Reid…
You are as dry as the Great Salt Lake. You have nothing to add to the national conversation as to how we can move forward, and yet you keep chiming in, so please…I beg of you Harry, stop it, and Shut the Fuck Up!!
Ed Schultz, Rachel Maddow, and the ever thinning shadow of Keith Olbermann...
Shut the Fuck Up all of you…You are all so damn left-wing biased, it forces me to turn to Fox News and what do I get when I turn there?
Heartache in the form of similarly right-wing folks like Greg Gutfeld, Bill O’Reilly, and Gretchen “I Don’t Know How, But I Actually Did Graduate From Stanford” Carlson.
They all need to Shut the Fuck Up as well. Horrid people, one and all, and yet you know who does know when to Shut the Fuck Up?
Jay and I...
We did a show yesterday and as things wound down, and we had nothing left to say, we were big enough to say good-bye to all in a timely manner:
And that is why Jay and I, unlike the unwashed and aforementioned masses, are professionals…
Jay: No show prep phone call this week…all of my family is coming in for a big reunion this weekend.
Matt: Uh-huh…Are you sure that’s all that is going on here?
Jay: Yeah, why?
Matt: Perhaps you are really avoiding our weekly call because you are cracking wise with somebody else?
Jay: No. I swear.
Matt: Okay.
Jay: How could I do that to you and your fragile ego?
Matt: Damn right, wait…wh--
Jay: Anyhoo. Since I’ll be tied up with family all weekend, we need to do a show that requires very little show prep.
Matt: The Many Sides of Mitt Romney?
Jay: Ha…that would take forever with all the sides he has, has had, and will have.
Matt: True.
Jay: How about The Rachel Maddow Show…Love Her or Hate Her?
Matt: TOO easy.
Jay and Matt: HATE HER!!
Matt: Memorial Day Weekend is this weekend. We could do something on that.
Jay: We could kick-off the unofficial start to summer with hot weather tips and shit.
Matt: Cool. We could do grilling and cookout tips.
Jay: Since I will be in the midst of one, talk about family reunions.
Matt: Indeed…We could talk about the scantily clad women in their summer fashions.
Jay: Which you see even more of at typical vacation destinations.
Matt: I think we’re set.
Jay: Oh I know we are.
Matt: Hey?
Jay: What?
Matt: Did you say that you are holding your big family reunion in Yellville, AR?
Jay: Yeah why?
Matt: That’s not a real city is it?
Jay: Well, it’s not a city; it’s tiny, but that is the official name of the burg in which my family and I will be partying away.
Matt: Ha…That’s funny.
Jay: Oh it’s a cool little place. You should bring Schmoop down sometime for the annual Turkey Trot Festival. Bring the wife and kid too.
Matt: Oh you’re a funny fucker, aren’t ya?
Jay: Hee Hee. Sometimes.
Matt: Okay. I think we’re good to go. See you onIWS Radio this Sunday at Noon ET, Jayman.
Jay: We’ll be kicking off summer through the goal posts of life.
Matt: True Dat.
“The coward wretch whose hand and heart, can bear to torture aught below; is ever first to quail and flee, from the slightest pain, or equal foe.”
--Bertrand Russell
Boy I tell ya…Bert was one smart muthafu----shut your mouth!! Yes he was. He was a genius, and the above quote, one of the more simplistic for him, is dead on.
I have encountered many examples of this type of cowardly behavior of late, and by golly, the Twitter activity I experienced this past Sunday evening, compels me today, to write upon this very subject…
Cowardice.
I love the phrase, “Social Media”. It sounds so happy, so open, so inclusive, but many times, it is not.
In fact, social media venues such as blogs, Facebook, and the aforementioned Twitter, are often no more than dens for group think, group hate, and virtual sanctuaries for those who live in fear…
For those who find comfort and safety within the swaddling security of like-mindedness rather than the growth and societal awareness which comes from the back and forth of differing opinions…
For those who live with cowardice.
It’s funny, in a strange way…
There are folks in government, in entertainment, and everyday life who claim to “have all the answers” to every economic, political, and social ill that exists today, but even more cowardly than they, are those who sit behind a microphone on radio and TV, and espouse their views as pundits, strategists, and worst of all…Radio/TV Talk Show Hosts.
Talk Show hosts are the most cowardly group of individuals I have ever come across. They are, in a word, okay three words…spineless mouth breathers.
It was about a year ago, I was Tweeting back and forth with the man who claims to never lose an argument, “talk radio King” Neal Boortz. I responded to something he had said while he was eating dinner at a restaurant, and after a couple of tweets he said, “That’s it, you’re blocked.”
I have heard Sean Hannity say on his radio show…
“Join my, Don’t Let Your Heart Be Troubled Twitter Army. It’s fun. I get tweets from Liberals, to which I say, Thanks and bye-bye, I’m blocking you now. It’s fun!!”
What the Hell is that? That's informed debate?
Anyway…The exclamation point on the subject of non-discourse came this past Sunday when I made a comment about how unfunny a Dennis Miller tweet was, and the may or may have not been drunk Dennis Miller, actually replied to my tweet.
It led to a couple more tweets as demonstrated by the pictures. It was fun. He made fun of me, I of him, and then what happened?
That’s right, Mr. I Am Bill O’Reilly’s Bitch…Mr. I Came Out of the Conservative Closet in Order to Make a Living on FOX NEWS, and Mr. I Am So Damn Smart and Funny That I Got Booted From Monday Night Football, blocked me.
Dennis Miller realized Sunday night, that he wasn’t talking to a typical viewer of FOX NEWS, nor an idiot who enjoys others thinking on his or her behalf.
And because he failed to follow comedic rule number one of knowing your audience, he slipped up, showed himself to be far from a genius, and then cha-cha’ed into obscurity on my Twitter feed by blocking me….
Just as any good coward would.
I think many including Dennis Miller himself, think of him to be outside of “convention”, to be, “on the cutting edge.”
Pfffffffft….
Dennis Miller, just like Neal Boortz, FOX NEWS, Rachel Maddow, Sean Hannity, Ed Schultz, and all of the other “big-timers” is nothing of the sort.
Miller and blowhards like him, are people who seek comfort (and ratings) in like-mindedness, and eschew informed debate which doesn’t include the facts they seek from the conclusions that they have already made.
These folks, just like the choir to whom they preach, are monolithic, un-curious, and most importantly…Cowardly.
I began my Wednesday night laughing out loud and shaking my head in disbelief as I watched Sean Hannity maneuver right thinking Americans through the land mines of Liberalism as he broadcast his nightly show on FOX News.
And then, a few minutes into his show, I, like so many of his doting followers are on a nightly basis, was sucked into a svengali induced reticence much like Mildred Montag being seduced into respectful obedience by her electronic, “parlor wall” in the movie, Fahrenheit 451.
However…
I was not drawn in by a deep philosophical treatise nor a serious diatribe involving profound political thought by the block-headed, non-wedding band wearing, yet devout and happily married Catholic, Sean Hannity.
No my friends…
I was sucked in by Hannity’s typical simplistic ideological ranting as he interviewed two uncooked breakfast sausage links in the forms of the creepy and quasi-human, Ben Shapiro and Joel Pollak, who worked for the late Andrew Breitbart and continue to work as editors at breitbart.com.
What was the topic, you ask?
A topic so headline grabbing…so earth shattering…so damn, popping the lid off of the secret life that our President leads, that Hannity was teasing it all day, and the two clowns from breitbart.com warned, would eventually come out into the open.
The topic?
When President Obama was attending Harvard Law School he evidently gave a glowing speech about one, radical professor, Derrick Bell, who had been speaking out about the “hot topic” issue and “controversial” position that greater racial diversity was needed among school faculties.
And guess what?
When Obama was done speaking? He gave the “radical” professor………..a hug.
Sean Hannity and the patriotic, never to be heard of again, undercooked sausages at deadwhatdowedonowbrietbart.com are furious…nay…OUTRAGED!!
It’s such a joke.
In spite of pictures showing Rumsfeld with Hussein, Bush walking hand in happy, oily hand with King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, which were evidently things that in their time, had to be done for political convenience, and although I found it to be incorrect policy, understand that, Obama hugging an American college professor is an outrage.
I’m sure that many of Hannity’s devotees ignore those pictures, yet spit venom over Obama sharing a man hug, not knowing what they are actually seeing…or hearing…or how it allegedly translates into a hate for America, and will say…
“I knew he was a radical…a terrorist…a Muslim.”
Gimme a break. This story, and childish, partisan hit pieces like it, are as earth shattering as the sun coming up in the morning.
Hannity doesn’t get it…and in the same light, neither do Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann, Neal Boortz, Rush Limbaugh, nor the scavengers of the dead at breitbart. (Or rather, unfortunately, and sadly, they do.)
Those talking heads have some of the most vast and devoted audiences on radio and TV, and yet, they are playing to crowds that while devoted, are none too bright, or more diplomatically said, intellectually uncurious.
Neither the hosts nor their audiences seem open to cogent and differing political, ideological, and philosophical discourse.
As the far right cave dwellers happily and mindlessly watch shadows of Hannity flicker upon the damp and darkened wall of Plato’s cave, and far left nihilists wait for the second coming of Sir Thomas More while watching Rachel Maddow, seventy percent of America laughs…a nervous laughter at that.
For the seventy percenters know, it’s all about ratings and revenue…hyperbole and distraction…election and reelection.
And then, after the nervous laughter subsides, they feel like Guy Montag; they loathe Mildred Montag, and they curse Ray Bradbury for getting it so right, so long ago.
Yesterday, IWS’ beloved Jayman wrote about his sadness. He waxed poetically, about how social media sites such as Twitter and Facebook break Jayman’s heart.
Well folks, let me tell ya. Matt-Man too, has suffered some of the same virtual slings and arrows that have pierced the pride, self-esteem, and psyche of Matt-Man’s friend, the Jayman.
And, much like Jayman…when Matt-Man gets annoyed and/or on rare occasions, angered, he too, begins to speak and write in the overly annoying third person style.
Matt-Man hates it, but he can do nothing about it. The third person takes over the Matt-Man, and Matt-Man simply has to allow it to run its course.
And to underscore this theme…Matt-Man, much like his buddy Jayman is pissed about some of your actions on Twitter and Facebook.
That’s right, Matt-Man has problems with some people.
Matt-Man and her have been friends for years, until?
Matt-Man asked on Facebook…
“Why do networks like NBC have Rachel Maddow on to talk about birth control? It’s like asking Oscar Wilde about the benefits of vasectomies.”
Holy Cow, instead of responding with a good reason for NBC putting on a non-sperm loving lesbian like Maddow to spout why contraceptives should remain legal and accessible, the Dickson chick, shouted down the Matt-Man by saying something insignificant and defriending him AND, IWS on Facebook.
Hell NBC would have been more on target by bringing on the only man on Cable TV who has a vagina to discuss birth control, one, Cavorter of Catholicism, Sean Hannity
Matt-Man says virtually, and posthumously, (not because he died, but because it sounds good), “Grow Up.”
Matt-Man can’t help it…He loathes the agenda rich Maddow, and hates far left loons and much as far right loons. Matt-Man wants to find an acceptable center…
A center where the personal privacy of peoples is respected. Where people can do what ever the hell they feel like, if it doesn’t affect anyone else. A center where…
Lifestyles, social mores, and tenets of faith or no faith, are kept out of government, and confined to one’s heart and soul where they belong.
Folks…Yesterday, we had an official Congressional Committee hearing on contraception…The entire panel of people being questioned were, clergyMEN.
Hell…While Matt-Man is a Liberal, yet a registered Independent, Matt-Man is pissed off by MSNBC firing Pat Buchanan. In his newest book, Pat derided the guilt of whites and says that we as a nation are sucked in by Israel, so MSNBC defrocked Pat from being a continuing contributor.
That's Bullshit.
Y’know what Matt-Man thinks about all this hoy-paloy?
Matt-Man thinks that 24/7 news people who rail against politics on Capitol Hill never being more divided along partisan lines, fail to realize that people in America have never been more divided…and perhaps, while not more stupid than the media…just as intellectually lazy.
And…Matt-Man thinks often, especially these days, about the quote once uttered long ago by H.L. Mencken (among others in various forms)…
“People deserve the government they get, and they deserve to get it good and hard.”
If you look at social outlets like Facebook and Twitter today…Americans are as much angry as they are sensitive, and yet…
They refuse to listen to the opinions of others with whom they disagree, and will block them, defriend them, or unfollow them…Matt-Man finds that funny. However…
That also makes Matt-Man very sad, because…
Matt-Man knows that the people in Congress are there because voters of like-mind put them there, and that Matt-Man’s friends are why we are in our current fuck-up-ness as a nation.
Too many are too far Left. Too many are too far Right. Yet…
In between the fringes of moronic thought...lie you, Matt-Man, and common sense.
Don’t allow idiots like Rachel Maddow and Sean Hannity to squeeze us out of the nation’s dialogue.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States…
And the joint Congress and American public go, “Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.”
Sad.
But the sadness…disinterest…malaise…or just plain, “What the fuck ever”, feeling is not without an understandable reason.
Tonight, during the State of the Union Address President Obama will say in some form or fashion as all President’s before him have said…
“The State of the Union is strong.”
Well, in my opinion, the State of the Union is far from strong, in fact, it sucks. And, I’m not talking about our economy, or our stature in the eyes of the world. I’m talking about us.
I’m talking about us as a nation of people who over the years have defeated an empire, have come together like none other, and now, after nearly 236 years of this great nation’s existence…
We argue over whether a woman has private and personal control over her own body, if a spouse has the right to let his spouse die in a dignified way, or if we should attack a country such as Iran whose military prowess is along the lines of the paper tiger that was Hussein’s Iraq.
Our nation has so many problems…from our debt, to reliance on foreign oil, to unemployment, to trying to find our markets and international place in the 21st Century.
And yet, when looking for a President and leader in our 2012 election cycle, what do many Americans look toward to guide their choice?
American History? The Constitution? Or perhaps, Common Sense? Noooooooo…
Many Americans find their safe harbors via the lighthouse of the media beacons that are MSNBC, FOX News, and some whacked out manchicks named Rachel Maddow and/or Sean Hannity among others.
Unfortunately, they seem to be the catalytic minority, and…they are what fuel the misfiring engine that is the do nothing government that we seem to have these days. Politicians want one thing, and that one thing is not to help America, it is to get reelected.
And in order to secure that end game, legislators agree with tiny minded folks, and no matter what, feed the electorate with what they want to hear in order to accomplish their unending, monetarily satisfying tenure within the once great halls of Congress.
Seriously, Mr. and/or Mrs. American Voter…you suck.
Choosing a President, taking the ten minutes it takes to vote, and actually researching who and why you want to vote for him or her has become such a chore. Because? Thinking takes time.
Millions of Americans listen to Limbaugh, Hannity, Maddow, and Olbermann because they would rather not think for themselves. They are too busy ordering pizza , texting a friend about how their spouse hates them, or playing Farmville on Facebook as they experience the virtual birth of a calf…
Gimme a break. It’s because of the laziness of the American voter that we in 2012, are left with a field of Presidential candidates of Romney, Gingrich, Santorum, Paul, and Obama.
In 1800 and 1804, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson went head to head in the Presidential election, and in 2012..?
We will have either Romney or Gingrich up against Obama.
Adams and Jefferson debated over the future course this country would take in order to make our then nascent nation more successful, and 200 and some years later?
No matter who the GOP picks to represent their party, the General Election debate will center on not who will make this country greater, but rather who will make this nation less than it already has become.
Ironically, it is our forefathers who set us upon this path with the birth of herd mentality political parties. However...
While they saw political parties merely as schools of thought, Americans today see them as political Cliff Notes, and comfortable, totalitarian schools of non-thought.
Americans today don’t have time to read the entire virtual biography that a candidate may put forth; they merely want to gaze, and listen to it briefly upon 24/7 cable news, and then like Pavlov’s dogs, obediently nod their heads, and wag their tails to what they know, and agree…or bark at the screen when they don’t.
After all, thinking takes time, and there are X-Box games to be played, spouses to cheat upon, and other who are unlike you and I to mock.
I wonder about our country, and when I do , I wonder about Ben Franklin.
He drank…He loooved the ladies…He smoked…He, like an idiot, stood out in the lightning…He hung out with pigeons as he trained them, and today?
Because of all of that, he couldn’t get elected as a City Commissioner of Bagwine, Ohio.
Americans today do not like thinkers…they do not like great people…Americans like a world that is homogenous…that thinks as they do…that is uncomplicated.
And that is exactly why America, the former bastion of innovation and great ideas, is becoming second-rate as a nation, and a nation whose State of the Union is not strong.
Hi IWS Radio fans, former congressman and host of MSNBC's Morning Joe, Joe Scarborough here to thank Jay and Matt for featuring me and others from MSNBC on tomorrow's IWS Radio Show.
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