What IWS Fans Are Saying

Showing posts with label Muslims. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Muslims. Show all posts

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Hey Israel? Syria Is YOUR Neighbor and Has a Broken Washing Machine...Why Does America Have to Wash Their Dirty Laundry?

Cheeeeeeeers Chuckleheads and Happy Thursday to you all!!

I have a couple of really concretely solid topics to touch upon, but those are best left to be mediaized on this Sunday’s next, sure to be #1 IWS Radio show, so?

I am going to down a 211 and just let my thoughts flow on here today.  Mmmmm’kay?

Dateline…Matt-Man’s head…

You know what would we be cool…If instead of degrading Syrian President Bashar al-Assad’s chemical weapons with missiles, we instead, gassed the entire country of Syria, but instead of using serin or mustard gas, we used laughing gas!!

That would be fucking hilarious.  A bunch of punch drunk extremists with guns walking around feeding each other falafels all the while tea is pouring out the side of their mouths like they’re doped up on Novocain. Ha!!

And what’s up with Israel?  Everyone is worried about what will happen to Israel over this crisis.  The only ones not worried about the Syrian Civil War are the Israelis and their 2 Billion Dollars a year from the U.S.

Listen Israel…We give you 2 Bil a year to help arm yourselves and Syria is on your border, so could we see a little action out of you?  I know you are busy building tin shack “settlements”, but really?

If Moses were alive today, he with his Rod of God in hand, would walk straight over to Damascus turn their rivers and their streets red with blood, and then return to Tel Aviv and rain toads down upon you, the Israelites, for being such pussies.

Seriously…Netanyahu and all of you serve who in the Israeli legislative body of the Knish?  You need to ask yourselves, What Would Moses Do?

In fact, and now I am getting a little steamed…it’s as if the State of Israel expects us, the United States of America to protect her.  It’s as if  we Americans are the savior of the State of Israel.  Hmmmmmmm?

The last time there was a savior walking around in the land of Israel, the Jews preferred some dude named Barabbas, and helped to kill the Holy Baby Jesus.

So boys and goils…enjoy your Rosh Hashanah, and delight in the fact that you will surely nail your America savior and benefactor to the cross in the near future.

I hurt my knee today.  I knocked it into a twelve pack of Dr. Pepper…Did Israel care?  Hell No!!  They didn’t even send me any chicken soup with matzo balls.  It’s such a one way relationship.

Ha…you know what?

My Stream of Consciousness thing actually turned out to be focused, and really?  Here’s the thing…

I am not pro-war…I am very anti-war, but y’know?

I get tired of hearing about how a solution and pathway to peace may be possible in the Middle East.

It never will.  There are far too many zealots with far too many strident and monocular ideologies involved.

Perhaps if we attack Syria, which I agree with, that may trigger an expansion of the conflict that sets the region on fire.  I feel bad about that, but then I think…

Eh…so what, because as much as I hate death and destruction, it is an inevitability, because the unholy trinity of radical acolytes of Muslims, Jews, and Christians want it.

To people like that, it’s just a matter of how and when.

And sadly, upstairs in the supernatural open bar of heaven, God, Allah, Buddha, or whatever one prefers to refer to Him as, are sipping on a bottle of Jack and saying…

“Maybe there is another planet we could try this life thing on, ‘cause it ain't working here.”

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Shut the Fuck Up!!

Leo Getz: Leo Getz, private investigator. 
Martin Riggs: [into phone with fake accent] Private investigator? Yes, Mr. Getz, I was just wondering if you'd be willing to investigate my privates. 
Leo Getz: Investigate what? 
Martin Riggs: My privates, you stupid shit - Shut the Fuck Up!

--Lethal Weapon 4

“Really?  Seriously?  Shut the Fuck Up!!”

--Matt-Man  periodically 1975-Present

Cheers Bitches!!  Matt-Man here.

Y’know?  In spite of my oft times apparently blunt nature on the venues of various social media sites, I am actually quite the peacekeeper…the diplomat…the one who looks to find common ground between battling parties.

And yet?  I, the Matt-Man, a man who has the wisdom of Solomon and the patience of Job, sometimes has no recourse other than to tell certain people to, Shut the Fuck Up!!

What follows, is a partial list of people whom I wish would, Shut the Fuck Up…

Mitt Romney...

Dude, you believe in nothing.  You have no soul and you used the tragedy of the assassination of an American diplomat in hopes of gaining political favor.  Shut the Fuck Up!!  In fact, just keep sucking Bebe Netanyahu's dick so you will be unable to talk.  Parasite!!

Sean Hannity…

Oh Dear God, you blockheaded, my way or the highway Republican imbecile who would criticize the manner in which President Obama takes a dump if you had knowledge of it.  Shut the Fuck Up!!

The Catholic Church is all up in your ass and you cry when Obama doesn’t want to spend quality time with Israeli Prime Minister Bebe Netanyahu.  Netanyahu is an arrogant thug who wants America to go to war for him.  Shut the fuck up Hannity!!

Bebe Netanyahu…

See above and Shut the Fuck Up, and while you’re at it…since Israel is a successful democracy, fund your own battles against Iran and dirt eating, rock throwing Palestinians, and Shut the Fuck Up!!  Bacon Hater!!

Zealous Palestinian Nationalists…

Quit throwing rocks and firing rockets at Israel, and Shut the Fuck Up!!  One other thing, the use of soap is not offensive to Allah. He told me so.

Libyan and Egyptian Muslim Extremists…

Gee…I’m sorry that some American nut, named Pastor Terry Jones, made a video making fun of Mohammed, but it’s no reason to storm a U.S. Embassy in Egypt, and kill innocent people in Libya.

Discover the joy of eating a BLT, drinking a cold beer, and please, by all means, Shut the Fuck Up!! And do me a another favor as well…

Could you fuckers agree on one way to Anglicize the name Mohammed, or Muhammad, or Muhamma-what the fuck ever?  I thank you in advance.  You fuckers are exhausting.  It’s the Mao Tse-Tung name game all over again!!  And this guy is not gonna stand for it.

Harry Reid…

You are as dry as the Great Salt Lake.  You have nothing to add to the national conversation as to how we can move forward, and yet you keep chiming in, so please…I beg of you Harry, stop it, and Shut the Fuck Up!!

Ed Schultz, Rachel Maddow, and the ever thinning shadow of Keith Olbermann...

Shut the Fuck Up all of you…You are all so damn left-wing biased, it forces me to turn to Fox News and what do I get when I turn there?

Heartache in the form of similarly right-wing folks like Greg Gutfeld, Bill O’Reilly, and Gretchen “I Don’t Know How, But I Actually Did Graduate From Stanford” Carlson.

They all need to Shut the Fuck Up as well.  Horrid people, one and all, and yet you know who does know when to Shut the Fuck Up?

Jay and I...

We did a show yesterday and as things wound down, and we had nothing left to say, we were big enough to say good-bye to all in a timely manner:


And that is why Jay and I, unlike the unwashed and aforementioned masses, are professionals…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws