Gretchen Carlson Hates Starbucks But Loves IWS Radio

Hi folks...Gretchen Carlson here for IWS Radio and while the holidays are yet a few days away from
kicking off, The Annual War on Christmas has already begun.

Starbucks in their infinite, secular wisdom have decided to remove all Christian symbols from their Holiday cups. That's right...

No longer will the birth of Christ be celebrated with red cups harking snowflakes, snowmen, ornaments, nor holly leaves, and I...Am...OUTRAGED!!

On top of that, holiday travel plans have to be made...winter clothes need to be washed...

The Thanksgiving menu needs to be planned, and liquor cabinets need to be fully stocked to fuel the petty and forthcoming family feuds. But worry not my fellow soldiers of Christ.

Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team have a jam packed show in store this Sunday from 8 PM ET-10 PM ET to help you survive the onslaught of secularism, and help you navigate the turbulent holiday waterways. Take a look...

The Holidays are fast approaching and that means it's time for Matt and Jay to help folks deal with the pressures and stress of family and travel. We're gonna give you some tips on how to make your travel much easier and more enjoyable. Plus, we know that there really is such a thing as too much family time so we'll help you out with that too.

The Holidays also mean several other important things. The weather is turning colder and it won't be long before global warming is proven to be a hoax when it gets bitterly cold and snows in the northern parts of the U.S. We'll help you prepare for the White Death! Most importantly the Holidays mean the War on Christmas is raging once again. Starbucks fired the first salvo of 2015 with their offensive red cups. Needless to say Donald Trump is all over this outrage and he'll be here to discuss it.

And it's almost time for Jay to make his annual trip to beautiful, mysterious and exotic Omaha, Nebraska for Thanksgiving. Matt and Jay have some strong opinions on Thanksgiving foods and holiday treats and we will share those with you this week too. All this plus Canadian Bureau Chief Jamie Mapleleaf and the IWS Players will be along to make everyone laugh, think and cry as always. All this and YOUR CALLS!

Sounds to me that these two studs are on the ball and are going to help us all out. So...

Join Jay and Matt LIVE this Sunday from 8 PM ET-10 PM ET as IWS Radio presents: Holiday Season 2015: The Red Cup Menace

You can catch all the action LIVE or later in archives by clicking HERE.

IWS Person of the Week...Clowns!!

When one is feeling a little down or perhaps had a bad day, and needs a bit of happiness in their life, who better to cheer said sad person up, than a clown?

Clowns have been spreading the joy unto others for centuries, and that is why clowns are our IWS Person(s) of the Week!!

Here is a group of clowns just begging to put your joy ahead of themselves and make you happy...

Some clowns strike fear into the hearts of others, but really?  They just want to love and be loved...

Some clowns are just so out there that you don't know what to think, but you find them hilarious...

Once in awhile, a clown will lose his funny bone and just can't figure out his job as a clown...

When something like that happens to a clown, many other clowns feel sorry for the lost clown...

Clowns are varied and many, in fact...Some clowns are actually outraged and require no make-up at all...

But of course...The best clown of all is the clown that makes us smile, and looks hot at the same time...

Here's to the clowns; may they make us happy for centuries to come!!  And speaking of clowns...

Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players take to the internet airwaves yet again, as they broadcast LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.

Just like clowns IWS Radio is all about spreading love, being happy, and celebrating the good people in this world during the IWS Radio Down with Love, Up with People episode.

Join IWS Radio LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET by clicking HERE, and share the love and happiness with us!!

IWS Radio is Tan, Rested, and Ready!!

Theyyyyyyyyyyy're Back!!

That's right folks...after taking a week off during the Thanksgiving season in order to spend time with those who can most tolerate them, Jay and Matt are back!!

And.........!!

THE Number Comedy Show on Blog Talk Radio airs LIVE today from Noon-2 PM ET as Jay, Matt, and the entire IWS Radio gang, kick off the holiday season by bringing you...

War on Christmas 2013:  Rise of the Tinsel!!

Join IWS Radio today as the dynamic duo breaks down this season's yuletide battle plans, gives the low down on the holiday season thus far, mocks Gretchen Carlson, and gives honor and glory to the Holy Baby Jeebus.

Rev. Moneymaker, Paul Piatt, and a cast of thousands will be on hand to help Jay and Matt capture the blow by blow carnage of this year's War on Christmas.

All of that plus your phone calls TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET on IWS Radio.  To catch all of the socio-religious military action LIVE, click HERE.

IWS Person of the Week...Fox and Friends Elisabeth Hasselbeck

If it's Sunday, it's the IWS Person of the Week and this week?  We have bittersweet news for all of you Fox and Friends followers.

It seems that Gretchen Carlson died Friday and come Monday morning, one uber-licious right-winger Elisabeth Hasselbeck, will be replacing Gretch's ignorant fat ass on the F&F more than curvy couch alongside Steve "Einstein" Doocy, and Brian "My Smile Is Ten Times Larger Than My IQ" Kilmeade...

We here at IWS Radio regret the passing of Gretchen Carlson, but eh...her lineage and tradition of hardcore, get to the facts journalism will live on in former reality TV star, Elisabeth Hasselbeck...

Elisabeth has cut her journalistic teeth on The View, and is now ready to enter the no-cleavage barred world of FOX News...

Roger Ailes loves lonnnnnng legs at FOX News, and Lis-Has has plenty to spare...

When Elisabeth Hasselbeck found out she would be sitting in between Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade every morning, her reaction was, "Really!?"...

And yet our golden-haired, deep-cleavaged, blonde, right wing adorable Kewpie Doll, Person of the Week, said...

"My loser half-assed Ouarterback husband, Tim Hasselbeck is a sports pundit, and somebody has to make a splash, and pay the bills so here I am dong morning television and asking for Obama's birth certificate!!?"

So here's to Elisabeth Hasselbeck.  If she tries really hard, or not even not all that hard...she could come off as looking smarter than the late, great Gretchen Carlson.

Annnnnnnnnd...To catch some really smart and funny radio tomorrow, join Jay and Matt on Blog Talk Radio LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET today as the celebrate Food, Sex, and Farm Animals on IWS Radio.  It is sure to be another Number One show as long as you help out.

You can catch all of IWS Radio's festivities  LIVE today by clicking HERE.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

Cheeeeeeeeers Chuckleheads!!  Matt-Man here writing on this here IWS Radio blog for the first time in, oh I don’t know…since this past Sunday.

Holy Cow!!  That’s like a century in dog years…I think.

Anyhoo…

On the IWS Radio Show this past Sunday, I mentioned to Jayman that we should take a couple of days off from the website, so I could do some things that tighten up our IWS brand, and tie up some loose ends as far as our You Tube page which is under my name and not the IWS Radio name.  And plus…

We could relax for a few, and let out a nice big Social Media sigh, and then come back refreshed.

I stated that merely taking Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off would be good for our souls, our creative juices, and I could fix our You Tube page.  Jayman, while not necessarily agreeing, acquiesced.

So…

After Sunday’s show, my best friend Schmoop and I drank, played music, and talked about rearranging furniture.  The Schmoopster was scheduled off and has been off, all her life week, so she would do that, and then?

We ate Johnsonville Brats…and lots of them.

Monday, I had to go to work…go to work with a hangover.  It wasn’t that bad until, I got THE PHONE CALL.  On the other end of the line was a crazy woman who was insisting that I should pay her $100.00 a week in order to help her put our son through college.

Her argument was built on a pile of sand, but she quickly and convincingly firmed up her philosophical treatise, and won me over to her side by calling me immoral, and labeling The Schmoopster, as homely.

So Monday night, drunk on the euphoria of being on a quasi-vacation and the lyrical tones of the crazy woman’s voice in my head, I had a couple of beers, a frozen pizza, and then went to bed.

Tuesday was awesome, because I only work Noon-5 on Tuesdays.  Sure it was raining, but my adorable, college bound son showed up at The Beer Mine needing $200.00.  I gave it to him, and after a couple of moments nervous of laughter, he went on his way.

When I got home shortly after 5 PM I walked into the Bagwine digs and the furniture had indeed been rearranged by The Schmoopster and it looked awesome, however…The cat was none to pleased.

I had a couple of drinks, and then before I knew it, it was 6:30 PM and it was time for Jayman and I to be interviewed by Katie D on her Blog Talk Radio Show.  We were there.  We were pithy, and then…

Ol’ Katie ran out of questions, cut the interview short, and the evening took a turn for the worse.

It turns out that the adorable, yet awkward interview was a result of Jayman and I, especially me, threatening the young Miss Katie through our penchant for answering the questions that Miss Katie asked.

I think it was my answer to her question, “How did your show come about?” and I responded, “Jay sent me an e-mail.”, that sent the young ingénue’s protector and psychotic sansei into a verdant and virulent attack upon my character upon the timeless timeline of my Facebook page.

With my good name besmirched by accusations of pedophilia and felonious assault, Schmoop ate and went to bed, and shortly afterwards, I ate and went to bed.

On top of all of that heartache, I was crushed to find out that Gretchen Carlson will no longer be on Fox and Friends in the morning, as her gravitas, and journalistic instincts necessitate a primetime afternoon show, and she will be replaced by Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

So much anguish…I have had better vacations, but it’s not a total loss.

The re-arrangement of the Bagwine digs looks awesome.  Ryno and I are meeting for pizza tonight at The Hut, and…

Looking back on these past few days of vacation?  I know that I am living the thug life.  Word!!

Oh the You Tube thing that was the impetus for all of this?  Eh, I never really got around to that, but trust me, I will.

After all, I am one immoral son of a bitch who lives with a homely chick, and that’s how we roll.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
Matt’s Facebook Page

Matt Said, Jay Said LXIX

Matt speaks sardonically…Jay speaks sardonically…You may or may not understand.

Matt:  Hello?  Hellooooooo?
Jay:  H--I---wha---t’s----up?
Matt:  Dude your phone is making some whacked noises.
Jay:  Oh sorry…I’ll call back.
Matt:  Okay (click)

(ring)

Matt:  Yo
Jay:  Is that better?
Matt: Well somewhat, I guess.
Jay:  Hmmmm…maybe I shoul---
Matt:  Jay!?  It’s okay.  It’s perfect…sounds as though you are right next to me.
Jay:  You’re being sarcastic, aren’t you?
Matt:  Why yes, yes I am.
Jay:  I knew it!!

Matt:  (sneezes) Damn…made it all winter without much of anything and NOW I catch a cold.
Jay:  That sucks.  Bless your heart; I feel bad for you.
Matt:  You are being sarcastic, aren't you?
Jay:  Why yes, yes I am.
Matt:  I knew it!!

Jay:  Hey…before we get into intense show prep mode, did you get your new fan for the digs?
Matt:  Yes.  Got it on the way home tonight.
Jay:  How’s it working out? I know a well running fan is very important to you.
Matt:  This damn fan is made of awesome sauce!!
Jay:  I am so happy for both you and Schmoop.
Matt:  Why thank you. I appre----wait…You are being sarcastic again aren’t you?
Jay:  Why yes, yes I am.
Matt:  I knew it!!

Jay:  So this Sunday, following our fourth Numero Uno show in a row, what should we talk about?
Matt:  Hmmmmm…Well you and I evidently pick up on the sarcasm of people, but do others?
Jay:  Ahhhhhhh, not a bad idea.  Many people on social media just don’t get sarcasm.
Matt:  Or satire.
Jay:  Or parodies and absurdities.
Matt: Ooooooo…such fancy words, you wordsmith you!!
Jay:  Why thank----wait…You are being sarcastic again, aren’t you?
Matt:  Why yes, yes I am.
Jay:  I knew it!!

Matt:  Anyhoo…A show on the art of sarcasm, satire, and the like would be way cool.
Jay:  For people to understand why our show is regularly #1, they need to know what those things are.
Matt:  Exactly.  And I’m sure we can talk about our fave satirists and sarcastic bastards and bitches.
Jay:  We could enlist the help of Slyder Balzcock, Paul Piatt, and Carl Paladino.
Matt:  I bet Keith Olbermann, our new guy Bob Kraft, and Dixie Ozark have something to say too.

Jay:  Yep…well…Dixie Ozark?  I don’t know…She has become something of a Diiiiiiiiva!!
Matt:  Ha.  You’re being sarcastic again, aren't you?
Jay:  No, not this time…she is really becoming hard to work with.
Matt:  Really?
Jay:  Oh yeah…She’s become the Gretchen Carlson of Internet Radio.

Matt:  Wow…well see if you can coax her in to doing a report.
Jay:  I’ll do my best.
Matt:  Oh I just know you will.
Jay:  Thank yo----wait…are you being sarcastic again or not?
Matt:  What?  What?  Jay?  Jay?  Your phone is breaking up again, and I can’t hear you over our new, awesome fan…talk to you tomorrow.

So folks…Join Jay, Matt, and the rest of the IWS Radio team as they kick off Sarcasm Awareness Week on Blog Talk Radio.  It will not only be informative and funny as hell, it will be worth 6.5 CEU credits should you hold a license in sarcasm.

That’s this Sunday April 14th from Noon-2 PM ET.  So listen LIVE and CALL-IN dammit!!  To catch this Sunday’s show LIVE, click HERE!!

More People We've Had Enough Of

Cheers Bitches!!

Yesterday, Jayman wrote about some people with whom he’s had enough.  He ended his insightful and biting piece of commentary with…

“I could go on, and on, and on. But, I won’t.”

I certainly understand that, however…I will pick up where the Jayman left off.

Hey Ray Lewis, Tim Tebow, other footballers, baseballers, basketballers, and NASCAR, um….ers…After a big play or a big win, don’t say it was God’s will and/or, He was watching over you. God doesn't give a damn who wins a football game, hits a home run, or nips another inbred driver at the checkered flag.

You can have, and enjoy all the personal faith and religion you want, but seriously?  When you say shit like that in your post-game interview?

God is looking down upon you saying, “What an asshole, I didn't even know they were playing today.”

There are a lot of Republicans not feeling the love of Obama wanting former U.S. Senator Chuck Hagel (R-NE) to become his next Secretary of Defense.  Why is that?

Because among other things, Sen. C-Hage doesn’t kowtow to the Israeli lobbyists, and once said…

“The Jewish lobby intimidates a lot of people up here…. I’m not an Israeli senator. I’m a United States senator.”

GASP!!  Hagel doesn’t put Israel above all other nations, nor his own!?  Blasphemer!!

Y’know?

People who are appalled at that statement, need to shut the fuck up. Fuck both the government of Israel, and the U.S. legislators who are outraged when anything bad, or in this case, neutral, is said about the Israeli government and their biblical and svengali-like hold over the UNITED STATES Congress.

Hell…If Republicans and evangelicals had their way, Jerusalem’s answer to Terri Schiavo, one Ariel Sharon, would be our next U.S. Defense Secretary.

I thought Republicans were against Obama and his trip down Socialist Lane.  If  Republicans despise socialistic handouts, why are they not outraged that Israel is nothing more than a Middle East crack whore looking for a U.S. handout to the shofar tune of 80 Gazillion shekels a year?

Hey all of you self-absorbed morons who come through the Beer Mine while talking on your cell phone and have the audacity to give the, “Wait a minute finger.”  You are not that important, and I will tell you so and to move along, and if you want to complain to the owner?

Don’t bother…He’s not nearly as nice nor as diplomatic about that as I am.

Facebook?  Women on Facebook drive me nuts with their, "Women are special, but it takes the right man to see that."  Pfffffffft.

Women aren't any more special than men.  Some women are cunts, and some men are dickheads.  We're all human and some of us, including women, are assholes. You want equal rights?  Well, accept your equal rights, responsibility, and the fact that some of you are hideous, unlovable psychopaths.

Twitter People?  I love comments, retweets, and the like, but if it is in reference to something I tweeted six hours ago, just refrain from tweeting me something to the effect, “I absolutely agree, Matt-Man. Ha!!”

I will not have a clue as to what I said that you agree with.  I mean…I appreciate it and all, but six hours after the tweet?  Merely appreciate my tweet amongst yourself.

Don Imus, Sean Hannity, Ed Schultz, Rachel Maddow, and the Three Stooges on FOX and Friends in the mornings have their heads and egos up their asses so far, that they get hair on their tongue.

Especially Gretchen Carlson…Oh Dear God…That chick is proof positive that you need not be pretty on the inside nor the outside to be voted, Miss America.  Uuch.

Oh, and Lance Armstrong?  Just shut the hell up and change the name of your foundation from LiveStrong to LiveJuiced.

Cheater...pussy...crybaby...

Okay…I guess I am done for now…There are so many other people whom I have had enough of, but as Jayman said yesterday, I too, will simply say…

“I could go on, and on, and on. But, I won’t.”

Cheers!!
Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS

Shut the Fuck Up!!

Leo Getz: Leo Getz, private investigator. 
Martin Riggs: [into phone with fake accent] Private investigator? Yes, Mr. Getz, I was just wondering if you'd be willing to investigate my privates. 
Leo Getz: Investigate what? 
Martin Riggs: My privates, you stupid shit - Shut the Fuck Up!

--Lethal Weapon 4

“Really?  Seriously?  Shut the Fuck Up!!”

--Matt-Man  periodically 1975-Present

Cheers Bitches!!  Matt-Man here.

Y’know?  In spite of my oft times apparently blunt nature on the venues of various social media sites, I am actually quite the peacekeeper…the diplomat…the one who looks to find common ground between battling parties.

And yet?  I, the Matt-Man, a man who has the wisdom of Solomon and the patience of Job, sometimes has no recourse other than to tell certain people to, Shut the Fuck Up!!

What follows, is a partial list of people whom I wish would, Shut the Fuck Up…

Mitt Romney...

Dude, you believe in nothing.  You have no soul and you used the tragedy of the assassination of an American diplomat in hopes of gaining political favor.  Shut the Fuck Up!!  In fact, just keep sucking Bebe Netanyahu's dick so you will be unable to talk.  Parasite!!

Sean Hannity…

Oh Dear God, you blockheaded, my way or the highway Republican imbecile who would criticize the manner in which President Obama takes a dump if you had knowledge of it.  Shut the Fuck Up!!

The Catholic Church is all up in your ass and you cry when Obama doesn’t want to spend quality time with Israeli Prime Minister Bebe Netanyahu.  Netanyahu is an arrogant thug who wants America to go to war for him.  Shut the fuck up Hannity!!

Bebe Netanyahu…

See above and Shut the Fuck Up, and while you’re at it…since Israel is a successful democracy, fund your own battles against Iran and dirt eating, rock throwing Palestinians, and Shut the Fuck Up!!  Bacon Hater!!

Zealous Palestinian Nationalists…

Quit throwing rocks and firing rockets at Israel, and Shut the Fuck Up!!  One other thing, the use of soap is not offensive to Allah. He told me so.

Libyan and Egyptian Muslim Extremists…

Gee…I’m sorry that some American nut, named Pastor Terry Jones, made a video making fun of Mohammed, but it’s no reason to storm a U.S. Embassy in Egypt, and kill innocent people in Libya.

Discover the joy of eating a BLT, drinking a cold beer, and please, by all means, Shut the Fuck Up!! And do me a another favor as well…

Could you fuckers agree on one way to Anglicize the name Mohammed, or Muhammad, or Muhamma-what the fuck ever?  I thank you in advance.  You fuckers are exhausting.  It’s the Mao Tse-Tung name game all over again!!  And this guy is not gonna stand for it.

Harry Reid…

You are as dry as the Great Salt Lake.  You have nothing to add to the national conversation as to how we can move forward, and yet you keep chiming in, so please…I beg of you Harry, stop it, and Shut the Fuck Up!!

Ed Schultz, Rachel Maddow, and the ever thinning shadow of Keith Olbermann...

Shut the Fuck Up all of you…You are all so damn left-wing biased, it forces me to turn to Fox News and what do I get when I turn there?

Heartache in the form of similarly right-wing folks like Greg Gutfeld, Bill O’Reilly, and Gretchen “I Don’t Know How, But I Actually Did Graduate From Stanford” Carlson.

They all need to Shut the Fuck Up as well.  Horrid people, one and all, and yet you know who does know when to Shut the Fuck Up?

Jay and I...

We did a show yesterday and as things wound down, and we had nothing left to say, we were big enough to say good-bye to all in a timely manner:

And that is why Jay and I, unlike the unwashed and aforementioned masses, are professionals…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws

IWS Babe of the Week: Gretchen Carlson, The Joan of Arc in the War on Christmas

That lady would be former Miss America, full-time Christian, and Fox and Friends keystone of intellect and insight, Gretchen Carlson...

As we begin the Christmas season, we at IWS raise a toast to the Maiden of Messianic Merchandising, who refuses to silence her God-given tongue in speaking out against those in the form of Atheists, Secularists, and Festivus followers who choose to diss the Holy Baby Jeebus...

She's hot...She's heavenly, and somehow, she graduated from Stanford...She's Gretchen Carlson...

And we love her.

Cheers, and let the Baby Jeebus-Hatin' Barbarians be stopped at the gates.

Matt-Man

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Are You Ready for Some Football: ESPN Drop Kicks Hank Williams, Jr. to the Curb

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Kiss Mah Ass, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!

Hank Williams Jr. here for I’m With Stupid.

I reckon by now y’all heard that ESPN and their wet nurses at ABC have dropped me and my, “Are You Ready for Some Football?” song from the opening of Monday Night Football.

Ohhhhhhhhh Yeahhhhhh, Hmmmmm-huh.

I was on Fox and Friends the other morning talking to that chick with the molasses face and those two horses’ asses, when I said some things that offended some of the folks of the Liberal persuasion.  Hmmmmm-uh.

I told Gretchen Carlson that Obama and Boehner playing golf together was akin to Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu.  Network suits and Cypress huggin’ crybabies were barkin’ like hound dogs with their tails ‘neath a John Deere mower because I ‘ledgedly compared Obama to Hitler with my remark.  Hmmmmm-uh.

Evidentially, my ironical humor was lost on those East Coast eggheads.  

See, the jocularity of my statement lies in that fact that not a single damn private country club in America would allow a Jew like Netanyahu to even play a round on their golf course. Do I gots to ‘splain everything to y’all?

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Boceeeephus, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!  Anyways…

I went on to call Obama, “the enemy”…Well Hell, c’monnnnn folks…Obama is nothing but a sham of a President, and an illegitimate political plant sent by those who would harm the U. S. of A.  

Do you think it’s a coincidence that a little over a year after his white mama and Kenyan baby daddy gave birth to Obama that the political suspense movie starring Frank Sinatra came out?  

Man, what was that movie called…um….The Hungarian Candidate, yeah that‘s it.  Hmmmmm-huh.

If that's just a damn "coincidence", Alabama ain't the best college football team in the U. S. of A.

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Bear Bryant, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!

Hell…If you were’s to knock me on anythin I said during that interview, knock me for calling Obama and Biden, “The Three Stooges.”  

I may be a simple God-Lovin’ country boy, but I do know two from three.  That miscue weren’t my calculations; it was the Jack Daniels figurin’.

And…Let that be a lesson to ya, all you youngins out there.  Drinkin’ and Cipherin’ don’t mix.

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Hole Numbers, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!  Anyhollar…

That’s what got me into trouble with ESPN…It’s a damn shame, ‘cause y’know?

I remember back in the day when ESPN stood for Entertainment and Sports Programming Network.  Today?

I guess it stands for Estrogen-laden, Skirt and Panty-wearin’ Nuckleheads!!  Hmmmmm-huh.  Anyhoodle…

I may appear Saturday night on Matt-Man and Jayman’s IWS radio show…haven’t decided yet.  

I guess they're gonna talk about that chick who was in the dago jail…talk about some dude named Yom Kippur, and perhaps touch on Columbus Day which honors the day in 1492 when Hispanolians were introduced to Europeans, Small Pox, and Syphilis.

M’eh…We’ll see.  Anyway…

I have to goin's sleep off my second of five daily hangovers, so if you need me, you can contact Matt-Man at:

neshobadude@yahoo.com

http://twitter.com/#!/MattManIWS

And remember…

Yeeeee Hawwwww, FOX Rawks, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!