IWS Person of the Week...Clowns!!

When one is feeling a little down or perhaps had a bad day, and needs a bit of happiness in their life, who better to cheer said sad person up, than a clown?

Clowns have been spreading the joy unto others for centuries, and that is why clowns are our IWS Person(s) of the Week!!

Here is a group of clowns just begging to put your joy ahead of themselves and make you happy...

Some clowns strike fear into the hearts of others, but really?  They just want to love and be loved...

Some clowns are just so out there that you don't know what to think, but you find them hilarious...

Once in awhile, a clown will lose his funny bone and just can't figure out his job as a clown...

When something like that happens to a clown, many other clowns feel sorry for the lost clown...

Clowns are varied and many, in fact...Some clowns are actually outraged and require no make-up at all...

But of course...The best clown of all is the clown that makes us smile, and looks hot at the same time...

Here's to the clowns; may they make us happy for centuries to come!!  And speaking of clowns...

Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players take to the internet airwaves yet again, as they broadcast LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.

Just like clowns IWS Radio is all about spreading love, being happy, and celebrating the good people in this world during the IWS Radio Down with Love, Up with People episode.

Join IWS Radio LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET by clicking HERE, and share the love and happiness with us!!

The Nipsey News Report

Holaaaaaaaaaa! In honor of April being National Poetry Month, we’re introducing a new feature here on the website. The late, great Nipsey Russell gives his rhyming commentary on the news!

UConn defeats Kentucky for the NCAA Championship…

Congrats to Kevin Ollie and Huskies on your victory
You stayed calm while Calipari and the Cats looked jittery
UConn’s basketball prominence we can’t overrate
Just hope no one notices your EIGHT PERCENT graduation rate

Al Sharpton was an informant for the FBI...

So, Reverend Al was an FBI rat
The mafia thought he was just goofy and fat
After reading this story I’m fairly confident
Al Sharpton’s death is going to be no accident

Bain Capital has bought Maineschwitz...

Mitt Romney’s old company now owns all the matzo and kosher wine
For the Jews this must be a sign
Rabbis and Jewish scholars
Say give the Mormons all your Jewish dollars

Michael Hayden says Sen Feinstein is “too emotional” to investigate the CIA...

Gen Hayden might have gone too far with his taunts
He can apologize and explain all he wants
His comments stirred up a hornet’s nest
Women’s groups will never let him rest

Louisiana Congressman Vince McAllister was caught on surveillance cameras kissing one of his staffers …

Yet another married family values politician gets caught cheating
From some media and political groups he’s gonna take a beating
That Good Christian Vince will become a punch line
Luckily for him when republicans cheat they never have to resign

Rand Paul says Dick Cheney pushed for war with Iraq to make money for Haliburton …

Rand Paul’s accusations against Mr Cheney are very serious
Some people think he’s just delirious
But in fact these accusations aren’t all that new
And we all know they’re true

Jay Z sparks controversy by wearing Five Percent Nation bling at a Nets game …

Jay Z wore an oversized medallion that some people found offensive
Many of supporters today are feeling a little defensive
Some people think this controversy will ruin Jay Z’s day
Instead he’ll just roll around on a bed made of money and have sex with Beyonce  

Draft Day with Kevin Costner and Jennifer Garner opens this week …

Kevin Costner may have struck gold once again with another sports movie
Even if the movie’s concept seems a little looney
Personally I don’t care if the movie is bad, average or really good
Jennifer Garner is the most underrated MILF in Hollywood

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Zimmerman, Cheney and Walmart: Scumbags Gone Wild

Holaaaaaa y’all! There is one thing that is completely and totally obvious to me and should be to everyone else: The Scumbags Always Win.

Yup, people who are pieces of shit always win. Everything always works out for them and when it doesn’t, someone (or the government) steps in and saves them. Let’s take a look at today’s scumbags …

- George Zimmerman! Oh look! If it’s a day that ends in “y” then George Zimmerman must be in jail for a domestic dispute. Oh I know, it’s not his fault. It’s NEVER HIS FAULT! Sure he’s been arrested five times for domestic violence in his life and twice he has pointed or threatened his wife/girlfriend with a gun, but it wasn’t his fault. He’s a sweet, innocent victim of all these horrible people. And that unarmed teenager he shot and killed? He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Today’s incident has resulted in George being charged assault and battery after pointing a shotgun at his girlfriend. Don’t worry though, he’ll skate like always. People like George always go free. The NRA and other right wing organizations will be there to pay for everything again too.

I have seen a few women say things like “George Zimmerman has a girlfriend? How???” Isn’t that cute how they do that? Women are so naïve like that. Let me tell ya folks, behind every scumbag woman abusing murdering piece of shit guy is a long line of women wanting to get with him. I’ll never understand it either.

- Liz Cheney! Man, what a fun time it’s gonna be at the Cheney’s on Thanksgiving! Seems as though a little family tiff has blown wide open and in public no less! Liz Cheney is seeking the republican nomination for the US Senate in Wyoming (a state she may or may not live in) and to win the republican nomination she has be the most extreme hate-filled bigot imaginable.

So she has decided to publicly condemn her sister Mary who is in a same sex marriage with her longtime partner. Needless to say Mary isn’t all that impressed with Liz’s public pandering to scumbags and decided to let her know it publicly.

For their part Mommy and Daddy Cheney put out a statement today that basically says “politics first girls.” What a beautiful family they are huh? I can feel the warmth and love from here.

You know, I never really gave Liz Cheney much chance to oust sitting senator, far right-wing crazy Mike Enzi, but now I think she might. This kind of public scumbaggery probably gives her an advantage.

- Walmart! There is a Walmart in the Cleveland, OH area that is holding a food drive. Isn’t that a nice thing to do? A big, extremely profitable corporation is giving back to the community by holding a food drive for people who can’t afford to have a decent meal this Thanksgiving. That just makes me feel so good and frankly helps to restore my faith in humanity.

What? OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! They’re holding the food drive so Walmart employees can have a decent meal this Thanksgiving? One of the most profitable companies in the world pays its employees so little that they have to hold food drive for them? And that corporation is asking its customers “Hey, buy some extra groceries here at Walmart and then on your way out, put some food items in these bins for OUR EMPLOYEES!!!???

I fucking give up!

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George W Bush Gives a Tour of his Library!

Hooooo-wee! Former Preznit and AR-TEEST George W “Don’t Call Me Shrub” Bush here welcoming y’all to my fancy new Lieberry and Museum! You know, this is the first museum I’ve ever visited. Wait, that’s not true. It’s the first lieberry I’ve ever visited as an adult. I went to a couple of ‘em when I was kid, but they were boring. Not like this one though. This is exciting!

There probably isn’t a single building in all of America that celebrates the American Experimentation and Freedom more than this. Well, there might be a couple in Washington, but they’re old. Nobody wants to go to old places when they can somewhere new and pretty. I mean we’ve got all this fancy interactive stuff and gadgets to play with here. Heck, you can even listen to  I'm With Stupid internet radio thingy on the internets right here! 

First off here we’ve got a scale replication of the Supreme Court. I thought it would be funny to have this right at the front door since they’re the ones that installed me into office. Sitting right there is a wax figure of Former Chief Justice William Rehnquist. That thing is so life-like! Heck, it’s almost as creepy was Willie was in real life! Anyway, you go up to him and hit that red button and he speaks. Go ahead, try it out!

*pushes red button* “We hereby rule in favor of George W. Bush and declare him President of the United States and all-around swell guy!”  I had the them embolism that a bit cause what he really said was full of legal mumbo-gumbo and nobody understands that stuff. Like I said, we want to keep it fun here.

Here’s a replica of my Ovulating Office. There’s my desk with the red phone in case of a newcuelar war and we’ve got some pretty pictures on the wall, a TV, vcr and dvd combo that was state of the art at one time and oh, check this out.  This here is my Nerf basketball goal attached above the door going to my personal secreetaree’s office. Man we had some great Nerf battles in here.

*picks up Nerf basketball* Come on! Try to block my dunk. It’s okay, come on! *Dunks Nerf ball lets out primal scream* I hope someone got a good picture of that cause that was Sports Illustrious worthy. You just got posterized buddy!

This here is the Iraq War display, or as I like to call it The 43^rd Crusades. Hahhahaha … Get it? I was the 43 preseedent? I like to inject a little humor into the lieberry to ease the tensions here and there. Here’s photos and video of the troops marching through Basry on their way Bagdum. And probably the most precocious video in this display is right there. It’s when they tore down that statue of Saddam. See them all stomping on him and hitting the statue with their shoes? That’s a real insult in that part of the world. Found that out myself later on what we always referred to as “The Great Loafer Incident.”  Anyway, I hear Saddam Husain was a real swingin’ dude. 

“Hey-OOOOOOO!”

Who’s back there? Dick is that you? 

*Dick Cheney steps out of the shadows* “I’m just looking over all my great accomplishments when I was president.”

Umm … Exqueeze me Dickster, I do believe that I’m the one who took the oath of office as prezeedent.  Besides, you’re supposed to wait until we get to the Undisclosed Location part of the museum and then jump out of the hidden door like we practiced. You ruined my grandiosious museum opening just like you ruined my presidentin’.

You know what, to heck with it. I’m gonna head back to the house with Laura and do some painting to settle my mind. Ya’ll are on your own. Just like you are under Obama. Hahahahahaha … I crack myself up. Anyway, Orvor Y’all.

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Dick Cheney In My Time: A Personal and Political Memoir

Dick Cheney here, so listen up you America hating ass clowns.

I have a new book out today, and that free-thinking bastard Matt-Man, has graciously offered me this venue in order to pimp out my sure to be best selling tome:

Dick Cheney In My Time: A Personal and Political Memoir

Let me tell you right now, you pussinistas, when people inside the beltway read this, heads will explode like a camel jockey’s ass being hit by a goddamn RPG.

My book is full of international intrigue, insight on secret, high level strategy sessions, and tiny, tiny tears being shed by Crybaby Condi. 

Jesus Christ, that chick has some fucked up teeth. They look like they were put in by some drunk bastard operating a pile driver.

Anyway…

This book is not for the faint of heart, so I guess I won’t be able to read it. But I wrote the son of a bitch and that’s all that matters.

I talk about things like the joys of water boarding, my close, homoerotic relationship with Don “Big Missile” Rumsfeld, and my consternation over playing second fiddle to an Ivy League educated dumb ass from Texas.

Bush always held that over my head. He’d say to me:

“Hey Dick, what year did you graduate from Yale? Oh that’s right…you couldn’t cut it there…could ya, Pork Chop Boy!!?”

George also found it funny when I’d get all worked up because he had hidden my goddamn Jack Link’s Beef Jerky. Whenever he would do that, the dumb ass would laugh, and call me Sasquatch…Listen, there are two rules I live by.

Number One…never participate in a land war in Asia, and number two?

Never fuck with a man’s goddamn, Jack Link’s Beef Jerky!!

I also write about my personal life in this book. My love for my wife of 47 years, Lynne, and the two visits that I made to her vagina that produced two wonderful children.

Our oldest daughter Liz, or as I call her, My Fifth Deferment, followed in my footsteps as an operative in campaign management and as an expert in Near Eastern affairs within the State Department.

Our youngest daughter Mary, or as I call her, The Son I Never Had, has traveled a different path. While her careers in public relations and public policy somewhat mirror my work, unlike me, my little Mary really digs the ladies.

So there you have it. It’s a great book. I wrote it. So please buy it. And when I say, “Please buy it.” I really mean, “Buy it or else, you commie, pinko faggots…sorry Mary.”

Now before I go, I just want to ask…

Where in the hell did that Rose drinkin’ son of a bitch, Matt-Man, hide my goddamn Jack Link’s Beef Jerky!!?

Sincerely,