What IWS Fans Are Saying

Showing posts with label Bigots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bigots. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Zimmerman, Cheney and Walmart: Scumbags Gone Wild

Holaaaaaa y’all! There is one thing that is completely and totally obvious to me and should be to everyone else: The Scumbags Always Win.

Yup, people who are pieces of shit always win. Everything always works out for them and when it doesn’t, someone (or the government) steps in and saves them. Let’s take a look at today’s scumbags …

- George Zimmerman! Oh look! If it’s a day that ends in “y” then George Zimmerman must be in jail for a domestic dispute. Oh I know, it’s not his fault. It’s NEVER HIS FAULT! Sure he’s been arrested five times for domestic violence in his life and twice he has pointed or threatened his wife/girlfriend with a gun, but it wasn’t his fault. He’s a sweet, innocent victim of all these horrible people. And that unarmed teenager he shot and killed? He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Today’s incident has resulted in George being charged assault and battery after pointing a shotgun at his girlfriend. Don’t worry though, he’ll skate like always. People like George always go free. The NRA and other right wing organizations will be there to pay for everything again too.

I have seen a few women say things like “George Zimmerman has a girlfriend? How???” Isn’t that cute how they do that? Women are so naïve like that. Let me tell ya folks, behind every scumbag woman abusing murdering piece of shit guy is a long line of women wanting to get with him. I’ll never understand it either.


- Liz Cheney! Man, what a fun time it’s gonna be at the Cheney’s on Thanksgiving! Seems as though a little family tiff has blown wide open and in public no less! Liz Cheney is seeking the republican nomination for the US Senate in Wyoming (a state she may or may not live in) and to win the republican nomination she has be the most extreme hate-filled bigot imaginable.

So she has decided to publicly condemn her sister Mary who is in a same sex marriage with her longtime partner. Needless to say Mary isn’t all that impressed with Liz’s public pandering to scumbags and decided to let her know it publicly.

For their part Mommy and Daddy Cheney put out a statement today that basically says “politics first girls.” What a beautiful family they are huh? I can feel the warmth and love from here.

You know, I never really gave Liz Cheney much chance to oust sitting senator, far right-wing crazy Mike Enzi, but now I think she might. This kind of public scumbaggery probably gives her an advantage.


- Walmart! There is a Walmart in the Cleveland, OH area that is holding a food drive. Isn’t that a nice thing to do? A big, extremely profitable corporation is giving back to the community by holding a food drive for people who can’t afford to have a decent meal this Thanksgiving. That just makes me feel so good and frankly helps to restore my faith in humanity.

What? OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! They’re holding the food drive so Walmart employees can have a decent meal this Thanksgiving? One of the most profitable companies in the world pays its employees so little that they have to hold food drive for them? And that corporation is asking its customers “Hey, buy some extra groceries here at Walmart and then on your way out, put some food items in these bins for OUR EMPLOYEES!!!???


I fucking give up!



Thursday, September 6, 2012

IWS Exclusive! Joe Biden's Speech at the DNC

Remarks by the Honorable Joseph R. Biden Jr.
Vice President of the United State of America

Holaaaaaaaaaaaa Charleston!! Woooooooo!

I’m Joe Biden and I’m an alcoholi … OOPS … Hold on … Wrong speech.

Welcome to Chattanooga and the annual meeting of the Democratic National Constitution meeting thingy. I’m here to tell you about this guy who has been your president for the last handful of years. He’s a really great guy, this Obama fella.

When I first met Barracks Obama I found him to be so clean and articulate that I didn’t even worry about moving my wallet from my back pocket to the front. I tell ya, I couldn’t believe what a sharp mind he had and how pleasant he was. Always inviting me to come and hangout at his home office and asking my advice about different things he was interested in and I guess had been reading about.

And then one day, out of nowhere he invited me to come to this party he was throwing down here in Columbia. I mean, how great is Barney? I don’t think I’ve ever had a better friend in my life. And while he’s better than me at basketball (obviously), there is something that normally comes naturally to his people that I’m better at …… RAPING!

What? OHHHH!! RAPPING! I meant to say RAPPING! Sorry. Hahahahaha

*music starts*

Yo … Yo … 
They all call me crazy old Joe … 
I’m just a regular every day schmoe … 
You never know what I’m gonna say 
Jump back … I’m might pray 
You think I’m easy to beat
But you’re grandmother thinks I’m sweet 
Stock up on lots of caffeine 
I’m Joe … Biden my time ‘til twenty sixteeeeeeeen. 
Yeah … Yeah .. 

I tell ya, I’ve had a great time here in Clarksville and at the conversion meetings. I love these things because I see so many of my old friends from my days in the senate like Harvey Reid who I had a good laugh with last night. I saw my very good friend Ted Kennedy on a TV Tuesday night, but I haven’t been able to track him down yet.

It’s always fun meeting like this every 8 years or so. I can’t believe how much some of you have aged. And it’s wonderful seeing everyone’s kids growing up too. Did you check Barnaby and Martha Omaha’s girls last night? Wow! They’re growing up right … if you know what I mean. *winks*

You know, one of the things I’m most impressed with is how diverse this soiree is. I’ve seen more minorities here in Canton than in all of my days hanging out in Delaware combined. Heck on Tuesday night there was a really good looking young Hispanic guy from ahem … “Texas” … who everyone seemed to like a whole lot. And right after him was a tall, very attractive black lady who I don’t think I’ve ever met, but we need to see and hear more from her, amirite?

Well folks, it’s getting late so I’ll wrap it up. Bartholomew … Melissa … now Mr. and Mrs. Obamtha … I wish you two nothing but good health, happiness and success as you venture forth into your new life together as one. In the words of Lao Tzu: “To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.”

Thank you all so much for being here. God bless you and God Bless America!

GOODNIGHT CLEVELAAAAAAAANNNNNNNND!!!

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS


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