The Grownups Are In Charge At IWS Radio

Welllllllll...Seems last Sunday that Blog Talk Radio had a high noon meltdown and Jay and Matt
were unable to do their Sunday podcast.

Very unfortunate for IWS Radio and even more unfortunate for their vast and diverse worldwide audience. In fact, major news outlets were calling the breakdown and the un-airing of their show, The Sobs Heard 'Round the World, but...

No fears...Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team are back in action tomorrow, and hopefully, Blog Talk Radio will be back in action as well. If the stars and moons align, you can tune into to the IWS Radio show and hear the childish humor of it all and it will go something like this...

 Okay, let's try this again! Everyone knows that Matt-Man and Jayman are famous for the intellectual and highbrow humor, but it might come as a surprise to you that they enjoy dabbling in childish sexual humor too. IKR? Well, they do.

They love a good "that's what she said" or "your mother" joke and that's what this week's IWS Radio is all about. Matt and Jay are going to take low road for once! Let's get dirty!

Speaking of silly and immature people, the first republican debate was this week and what a clown show that was! Matt and Jay will be here to break it all down for you and help the world make sense of everything that happened. You won't get this level of political analysis anywhere else folks!

As always Canadian Bureau Chief Jamie Mapleleaf will be here along with the IWS Players bringing the fumy to all new heights. Since he's between jobs AGAIN Keith Olbermann will have a special commentary sharing his thoughts on the republican field and who knows who else might show up! You just gotta listen to find out. All this and YOUR CALLS at 661.244.9852!

It's going to be a commode hugging good time, so join Jay and Matt LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET tomorrow as IWS Radio presents: The Grownups are in Charge at IWS Radio

To listen LIVE or later in archives, click right HERE !!

Dan Hamm Loves IWS Radio

I am the newest member of the IWS Radio team, and let me tell ya, I love it as much as I have
anything.

I made my debut yesterday, and I had a good time, and I got my first check from IWS Radio which forces me to, for the first time in my life, learn how to budget, and I appreciate Jay and Matt for having to learn that skill.

Anyway, yesterday's show was pretty awesome...
Matt gave directions to a lost soul sixty miles from his destination and Jayman had to pee at 4:30 Sunday morning.

They had a great looking chat room that was prettier than cell B-17 at Auschwitz... claimed Mike Huckabee.

Bill O'Reilly tried to make sense of Sarah Palin.

Keith Olbermann was all sorts of fucked up and was more or less incoherent.

Martin meditated us into a serene sense of serentiy and well, hot creepiness.

Schmoop was ubiquitous and she didn't even know it.

Between David Letterman and Rick Perry, one couldn't understand their Scottish guest, and the other was incomprehensible.

Jayman had a plethora of summer sounds that has ruined last few days, while Matt Man was being creeped out by the ice cream truck.

On the upside, a surprisingly sober Party Marty actually answered his phone, and told us that in spite of his 35th Class Reunion, he wasn't hungover.

Very unfortunate for the listeners, but good for Marty.

There was also a lot of bad music, interspersed, so give it a listen, it's twice the fun at half the cost...

OMG! Even MORE Funny(ish) Headlines!

Holaaaaaaaa bitches! It’s time once again for a round of funny(ish) headlines! Try to hold down the excitement, will ya?

- Dept. of Justice investigation finds that the NSA violated George Zimmerman’s civil rights.

- Obama gives up and grows a Hitler mustache.

- Jenny McCarthy excited about new job as co-host on “The View.” “Think of all the kids I can kill with this

kind of exposure!!”

- Miley Cyrus apologizes for wearing bra under her tight shirt in public. Says it won’t happen again.

- Kim Kardashian freaks out over loss of popularity, renames her kid Trayvon Martin Kardashian-West.

- P.E.D scandal mars The ESPY’s as a reporter notices host Jon Hamm’s bottle of Viagra in locker backstage.

- Amanda Bynes seen buying “The Rhyming Dictionary” at local mall in preparation for her new rap career.

- “Vincent Sand Gogh” wins World Championship of Sand Sculpting in Atlantic City. “Sandy Vagina” fails to place for the 25^th consecutive year.

- OUTRAGEOUS McDonald’s “budget” for workers making minimum wage suggests just giving dancers a single at the stage and forgoing lap dances.

- ESPN lawyers up in preparation for firing Keith Olbermann soon after his new shows debuts on ESPN2 in August.

- Juror B37: “Okay, I admit it. I let George Zimmerman’s raw sexual magnetism cloud my judgment.”

- Emma Roberts tries out new way of promoting upcoming movie “We’re the Millers” by getting arrested for beating the shit out

of her boyfriend.

- Area man writes congressman demanding that the government dramatically increase funding for hemorrhoid research.

- MLB announces that former Egyptian President Mohammad Morsi will replace Bug Selig as Commissioner after Selig retires or, preferably, dies.

- City council realizes they have very few items on agenda, starts making shit up.

- Sad, lonely man starts friendship ring on Facebook.

- Area woman shocked to discover that people are still blogging.

- “Forbes Magazine” names Robert Downey Jr. as America’s highest paid ex-con.

And that’s all I’ve got.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook.com/Jayman68
@Jayman_IWS

Keith Olbermann Says Shame on the Pulitzer Committee

Keith Olbermann here offering an hola, cheers, greetings and salutations and a harty hail and salute to the thousands of people all over the world who read the IWS Blog. While I join the rest of America, and the world, in offering my deepest and most sincere condolences to the good people of Boston and West, Texas, I feel the need to come here today to speak out about another, equally appalling outrage.

As you may know, a couple weeks ago we learned of the 2013 recipients of the Pulitzer Prizes. No, I’m not here to complain about the failure of the committee to award me the Pulitzer for National Reporting, International Reporting, Breaking News Reporting, Investigative Reporting, Commentary or Criticism, although I most certainly deserved to win in any or ALL of those categories. I’m here today to stand up for IWS’ Poet Laureate Paul Piatt.

I was shocked and dismayed to hear that Mr. Piatt was once again overlooked. I understand the

committee’s jealousy and envy of my great accomplishments keeping them from rewarding me as I so richly deserve, but why do they treat Mr. Piatt this way? I also know that both Matt-Man and Jayman are equally as angry as I, but I’m sure they and everyone would agree that I am a much more forceful and articulate voice for Paul.

Given the illustrious career Mr. Piatt has had in the world of Poetry, one has to wonder if the Pulitzer Committee has spent most of their time wandering through the book section of their local Walmart. How could they possibly have overlooked Paul Piatt yet again? The lack of competence shown by the Pulitzer Committee is so shocking, so disheartening that I have no other choice but to DEMAND that they RESIGN IMMEDIATELY!

Have you no shame people? Do you not have any sense of decency or understanding of literary greatness at all? Here sits Mr. Paul Piatt, a good, decent man who has never asked for anything in his life. He has never called attention to himself or tooted his own horn. He has done nothing but try to bring the love words made magical to the masses. The committee could have shown the world that Poetry isn’t about elitism or about popularity, but about the words themselves. They could have reminded us that Poetry doesn’t have to be snooty and full of anger and angst.

Instead the committee decided to lower itself to the very bottom of the literary barrel and award Sharon Olds the Pulitzer for “Stag’sLeap.” Just when you thought culture could not go any lower, you are proven wrong as a poetry book about a woman’s divorce is the big winner. That’s right kids something that is better suited for Oprah’s Couch than it is our bookshelves has been elevated to the highest levels of the Poetry World. My anger and disappointment is such that I cannot put it into words. Luckily for me, my talented friend, Mr. Nispsey Russell can…

“Once again Paul Piatt was over looked
If you ask me those votes were cooked
So here’s my message to the Pulitzer Brass
The committee can kiss my fat ass”

Simple, crude, from the heart, Nipsey speaks for all of us on this day of shock and OH NO THEY DIDN’T! I, along with the entire team at IWS World Media expect the Pulitzer’s Committee response and attempt to right this unconscionable wrong with, at the very least, a very sincere apology to both myself and Mr. Piatt and a promise to reform their selection process and then ….. RESIGN IMMEDIATELY!

For IWS this has been Keith Olbermann.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook.com/Jayman68
@Jayman_IWS

In other news, Sunday was another EPIC episode of I'm With Stupid. We talked about the Boston Marathon Bombing and the terrible cable news channels. Then we previewed the NFL Draft by drafting our favorite Monarchs, Jews, Sportscasters, Poets and soooooo much more! 

Listen to internet radio with IWS Radio on Blog Talk Radio

Shut the Fuck Up!!

Leo Getz: Leo Getz, private investigator. 
Martin Riggs: [into phone with fake accent] Private investigator? Yes, Mr. Getz, I was just wondering if you'd be willing to investigate my privates. 
Leo Getz: Investigate what? 
Martin Riggs: My privates, you stupid shit - Shut the Fuck Up!

--Lethal Weapon 4

“Really?  Seriously?  Shut the Fuck Up!!”

--Matt-Man  periodically 1975-Present

Cheers Bitches!!  Matt-Man here.

Y’know?  In spite of my oft times apparently blunt nature on the venues of various social media sites, I am actually quite the peacekeeper…the diplomat…the one who looks to find common ground between battling parties.

And yet?  I, the Matt-Man, a man who has the wisdom of Solomon and the patience of Job, sometimes has no recourse other than to tell certain people to, Shut the Fuck Up!!

What follows, is a partial list of people whom I wish would, Shut the Fuck Up…

Mitt Romney...

Dude, you believe in nothing.  You have no soul and you used the tragedy of the assassination of an American diplomat in hopes of gaining political favor.  Shut the Fuck Up!!  In fact, just keep sucking Bebe Netanyahu's dick so you will be unable to talk.  Parasite!!

Sean Hannity…

Oh Dear God, you blockheaded, my way or the highway Republican imbecile who would criticize the manner in which President Obama takes a dump if you had knowledge of it.  Shut the Fuck Up!!

The Catholic Church is all up in your ass and you cry when Obama doesn’t want to spend quality time with Israeli Prime Minister Bebe Netanyahu.  Netanyahu is an arrogant thug who wants America to go to war for him.  Shut the fuck up Hannity!!

Bebe Netanyahu…

See above and Shut the Fuck Up, and while you’re at it…since Israel is a successful democracy, fund your own battles against Iran and dirt eating, rock throwing Palestinians, and Shut the Fuck Up!!  Bacon Hater!!

Zealous Palestinian Nationalists…

Quit throwing rocks and firing rockets at Israel, and Shut the Fuck Up!!  One other thing, the use of soap is not offensive to Allah. He told me so.

Libyan and Egyptian Muslim Extremists…

Gee…I’m sorry that some American nut, named Pastor Terry Jones, made a video making fun of Mohammed, but it’s no reason to storm a U.S. Embassy in Egypt, and kill innocent people in Libya.

Discover the joy of eating a BLT, drinking a cold beer, and please, by all means, Shut the Fuck Up!! And do me a another favor as well…

Could you fuckers agree on one way to Anglicize the name Mohammed, or Muhammad, or Muhamma-what the fuck ever?  I thank you in advance.  You fuckers are exhausting.  It’s the Mao Tse-Tung name game all over again!!  And this guy is not gonna stand for it.

Harry Reid…

You are as dry as the Great Salt Lake.  You have nothing to add to the national conversation as to how we can move forward, and yet you keep chiming in, so please…I beg of you Harry, stop it, and Shut the Fuck Up!!

Ed Schultz, Rachel Maddow, and the ever thinning shadow of Keith Olbermann...

Shut the Fuck Up all of you…You are all so damn left-wing biased, it forces me to turn to Fox News and what do I get when I turn there?

Heartache in the form of similarly right-wing folks like Greg Gutfeld, Bill O’Reilly, and Gretchen “I Don’t Know How, But I Actually Did Graduate From Stanford” Carlson.

They all need to Shut the Fuck Up as well.  Horrid people, one and all, and yet you know who does know when to Shut the Fuck Up?

Jay and I...

We did a show yesterday and as things wound down, and we had nothing left to say, we were big enough to say good-bye to all in a timely manner:

And that is why Jay and I, unlike the unwashed and aforementioned masses, are professionals…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws

Sean Hannity, Derrick Bell, and President Obama...Stealing from Andrew Breitbart, and Killing Logic One Show at a Time

I began my Wednesday night laughing out loud and shaking my head in disbelief as I watched Sean Hannity maneuver right thinking Americans through the land mines of Liberalism as he broadcast his nightly show on FOX News.

And then, a few minutes into his show, I, like so many of his doting followers are on a nightly basis, was sucked into a svengali induced reticence much like Mildred Montag being seduced into respectful obedience by her electronic, “parlor wall” in the movie, Fahrenheit 451.

However…

I was not drawn in by a deep philosophical treatise nor a serious diatribe involving profound political thought by the block-headed, non-wedding band wearing, yet devout and happily married Catholic, Sean Hannity.

No my friends…

I was sucked in by Hannity’s typical simplistic ideological ranting as he interviewed two uncooked breakfast sausage links in the forms of the creepy and quasi-human, Ben Shapiro and Joel Pollak, who worked for the late Andrew Breitbart and continue to work as editors at breitbart.com.

What was the topic, you ask?

A topic so headline grabbing…so earth shattering…so damn, popping the lid off of the secret life that our President leads, that Hannity was teasing it all day, and the two clowns from breitbart.com warned, would eventually come out into the open.

The topic?

When President Obama was attending Harvard Law School he evidently gave a glowing speech about one, radical professor, Derrick Bell, who had been speaking out about the “hot topic” issue and “controversial” position that greater racial diversity was needed among school faculties.

And guess what?

When Obama was done speaking?  He gave the “radical” professor………..a hug.

Sean Hannity and the patriotic, never to be heard of again, undercooked sausages at deadwhatdowedonowbrietbart.com are furious…nay…OUTRAGED!!

It’s such a joke.

In spite of pictures showing Rumsfeld with Hussein, Bush walking hand in happy, oily hand with King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, which were evidently things that in their time, had to be done for political convenience, and although I found it to be incorrect policy, understand that, Obama hugging an American college professor is an outrage.

I’m sure that many of Hannity’s devotees ignore those pictures, yet spit venom over Obama sharing a man hug, not knowing what they are actually seeing…or hearing…or how it allegedly translates into a hate for America, and will say…

“I knew he was a radical…a terrorist…a Muslim.”

Gimme a break.  This story, and childish, partisan hit pieces like it, are as earth shattering as the sun coming up in the morning.

Hannity doesn’t get it…and in the same light, neither do Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann, Neal Boortz, Rush Limbaugh, nor the scavengers of the dead at breitbart.  (Or rather, unfortunately, and sadly, they do.)

Those talking heads have some of the most vast and devoted audiences on radio and TV, and yet, they are playing to crowds that while devoted, are none too bright, or more diplomatically said, intellectually uncurious.

Neither the hosts nor their audiences seem open to cogent and differing political, ideological, and philosophical discourse.

As the far right cave dwellers happily and mindlessly watch shadows of Hannity flicker upon the damp and darkened wall of Plato’s cave, and far left nihilists wait for the second coming of Sir Thomas More while watching Rachel Maddow, seventy percent of America laughs…a nervous laughter at that.

For the seventy percenters know, it’s all about ratings and revenue…hyperbole and distraction…election and reelection.

And then, after the nervous laughter subsides, they feel like Guy Montag; they loathe Mildred Montag, and they curse Ray Bradbury for getting it so right, so long ago.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

Email:  neshobadude@yahoo.com
Twitter:  @mattmaniws