Donald Trump For President?

After a false start thanks to BTR’s incompetence and general lack of caring about its hosts, Matt-Man and Jayman finally got to do their super immature childish humor show. And since it was a super immature childish humor show they of course featured all the idiots losing to Donald Trump in the republican primary. Plus we threw in a lot of other really funny stuff.

Matt-Man had to deal with some moron from Cleveland who insisted Matt answer the phone at the Beer Mine (conveniently located at the corner of Elmore and Burnett Roads in Bagwine, Ohio).

Jayman encounter a couple of Hipster wannabes at the barber shop and had to resist the urge to mock them in public.

Mike Huckabee promises to make prostitutes, pimps, drug dealers and other freeloaders pay their fair share.

Chris Christie and Rand Paul hug it out.

Paul Piatt stepped outside of his comfort zone with a hilariously childish poem.

Keith Olbermann dropped by with a special commentary that just might get him fired from IWS.

Ahnald have trysts with many different women at his home. Some of the women came several times.

Donald Trump put Megyn Kelly in her place and might have just finished her pathetic career off!

Erick Erickson came to Megyn’s defense. Well, in his own sick, perverted way.

Albert Pujols is …. Retarded?

Ted Cruz is childish. Not, childish humor, just childish.

Anderson Cooper is amused by getting the full twelve inches promised.

CNN is all about the Money Shot.

Robert the Taylor called in and was brilliant as usual.

We called Missalicious to see what was up with her and that got AWWWWWKWARD!

And soooooooo much more! Check it out!  

                             

The Grownups Are In Charge At IWS Radio

Welllllllll...Seems last Sunday that Blog Talk Radio had a high noon meltdown and Jay and Matt
were unable to do their Sunday podcast.

Very unfortunate for IWS Radio and even more unfortunate for their vast and diverse worldwide audience. In fact, major news outlets were calling the breakdown and the un-airing of their show, The Sobs Heard 'Round the World, but...

No fears...Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team are back in action tomorrow, and hopefully, Blog Talk Radio will be back in action as well. If the stars and moons align, you can tune into to the IWS Radio show and hear the childish humor of it all and it will go something like this...

 Okay, let's try this again! Everyone knows that Matt-Man and Jayman are famous for the intellectual and highbrow humor, but it might come as a surprise to you that they enjoy dabbling in childish sexual humor too. IKR? Well, they do.

They love a good "that's what she said" or "your mother" joke and that's what this week's IWS Radio is all about. Matt and Jay are going to take low road for once! Let's get dirty!

Speaking of silly and immature people, the first republican debate was this week and what a clown show that was! Matt and Jay will be here to break it all down for you and help the world make sense of everything that happened. You won't get this level of political analysis anywhere else folks!

As always Canadian Bureau Chief Jamie Mapleleaf will be here along with the IWS Players bringing the fumy to all new heights. Since he's between jobs AGAIN Keith Olbermann will have a special commentary sharing his thoughts on the republican field and who knows who else might show up! You just gotta listen to find out. All this and YOUR CALLS at 661.244.9852!

It's going to be a commode hugging good time, so join Jay and Matt LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET tomorrow as IWS Radio presents: The Grownups are in Charge at IWS Radio

To listen LIVE or later in archives, click right HERE !!

Matt and Jay Are Soooooo Mature

It's been a crazy week IWS Radio listeners...

Jayman has been punching walls in his sleep and scarring his beautiful hands . Matt-Man spontaneously turned 80 years old overnight and contracted a debilitating case of bursitis, and a clown car pulled into Cleveland on Thursday.

It's been far too much for Jay and Matt to deal with without cracking up, so that's exactly what they'll be doing on tomorrow's IWS Radio show...cracking up.

That's right folks, toss out the serious insight and biting social commentary this week, because Jay, Matt, and the rest of the gang are going to let loose their inner 12 year old, and...

It's gonna go something like this...

Everyone knows that Matt-Man and Jayman are famous for the intellectual and highbrow humor, but it might come as a surprise to you that they enjoy dabbling in childish sexual humor too. IKR? Well, they do. 

They love a good "that's what she said" or "your mother" joke and that's what this week's IWS Radio is all about. Matt and Jay are going to take low road for once! Let's get dirty!

Speaking of silly and immature people, the first republican debate was this week and what a clown show that was! Matt and Jay will be here to break it all down for you and help the world make sense of everything that happened. You won't get this level of political analysis anywhere else folks!

As always Canadian Bureau Chief Jamie Mapleleaf will be here along with the IWS Players bringing the funny to all new heights. Since he's between jobs AGAIN Keith Olbermann will have a special commentary sharing his thoughts on the republican field and who knows who else might show up! 

You just gotta listen to find out. All this and YOUR CALLS at 661.244.9852!

So join Jay, Matt and the IWS Radio team tommorow LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET as IWS Radio presents: Matt and Jay Are Sooooo Mature.

To listen LIVE or later in archives click right HERE.

Rick Santorum 2012: He Needs a Condom on His Potty Mouth !!

I have to apologize to all the devoted readers and listeners of the IWS website and radio show, and…I have to apologize to the IWS Worldwide Media Group as well.

No expense was spared in sending yours truly to Mesa, AZ., in order to cover Wednesday night’s CNN GOP Presidential debate and interview Rick Santorum, and how did I return the favor and show pride in my job?

After prepping for my debate coverage all morning and compiling questions for Rick Santorum while listening to the white noise from the TV that was airing scrambled video of porn movies within the confines of my luxurious room at the Motel 6 Mesa North, I felt confined.  So…

Needing some fresh air, I walked down W. Hampton Ave., when I came across an interesting watering hole in the wall known merely as, “Manny’s.”

It was only 9:08 A.M., but being from the Eastern Time Zone, it was damn near eleven thirty, so I ducked in for a cold one, or as the clientele inside of Manny’s says, “Una Fria, por favor.”

After three Boilermakers (or as the crowd at Manny’s now calls them, Loco Gringos), each consisting of a 24 ounce Steel Reserve and four shots of Crown Royal, I felt the need to get away from the dim lighting, the dark skin, and the hemp filled air of Manny’s, and get some fresh air.

After all, It was 10:30 on a Mesa, Arizona morning prior to the debate, and I needed to get the word on the street by interviewing some real voters in order to gauge where they stood, electoral wise.

But first…

I had to go back into Manny’s, because I had forgotten to take a leak…

So, after peeing into a toilet that smelled of ancient Tenochtitlan and zipping up far too soon, I had one more Loco Gringo with my new found buddies on my way out, prior to initiating some, “man on the street” type journalism.

Let me tell ya…I interviewed a couple of dozen fine folks of Mesa, AZ., and forty five minutes later when I looked at my notes?  I couldn’t decipher, interpret, or otherwise figure out what the hell they had said to me, and what I had written.

I needed some food…and quickly.

As happenstance would have it, I had apparently been doing interviews some three blocks away from Manny’s in front of a Mom and Pop establishment known as, “Crazy Jose’s Pawn Shop and Taquiera.”

I ordered the Numero Siete…  A fish taco, a beef taco, and five Coronas.  Upon consumption, and after a bit of Montezuma’s Revenge, I felt alive again.

I began to ramble back to my motel room by retracing my drunken path, when a couple of guys outside of Manny’s stopped me, and began to give me the business.

They claimed I owed them money…said that the IWS Credit Card was no good.  Pfffffft.

After I screamed like a little school girl  kicked the shit out of the ruffians and the police showed up, the fine officers of the Mesa Police Department incarcerated their sorry asses, and took me to my motel.

It was 2:30 PM by then, and I had missed my interview time with Rick Santorum.  So, I took a nap until it was time to go to the debate.

I showed up, listened, yawned, and then excused myself to the restroom, where I evacuated what was left of the Numero Siete, and walked out back of the Mesa Arts Center.  I waited for Santorum to come out after the debate.

When he did, I broke through his entourage, shove my mic in his face, and asked…

“Why do you oppose hot, freaky sex outside of marriage on Biblical grounds when Lot dorked his daughters and King David was a raging homo?”

With a look of puzzlement that quickly turned to anger, he said to me…

“Fuck You!!”

And that my friends, is why in spite of my shortcomings, I should get a Pulitzer Prize. I managed to make Rick Santorum say a dirty word.

So let it be written; so let it be done.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

email:  neshobadude@yahoo.com
Twitter:  @mattmaniws

Johnny Vegas Picks the Conference Championship Games

Hola Gamblers! Johnny Vegas, IWS’ sports handicapping expert here to fire a perfect spiral of advice that hits you right between the numbers for a big score once again! As you may recall, last weekend I lit up the scoreboard by going 2-2 against the spread and 4-0 in picks straight up. Not too shabby!

It’s time for the conference championships which means there’s no more time to fool around. This is it baby! Winners go to the Super Bowl! And, the NFL has served up a couple of pretty tasty treats for us gamblers to nibble at. So let’s get right to it, shall we? As always, the favorite is in all caps.

AFC Championship: Baltimore +7.5 @ NEW ENGLAND:  Well kids, I think we all pretty much new all season long that this is where these two teams were going to end up. And to most this looks like a really tough match up with the potential for an upset. But, that’s why you need an expert like me. I make it my business to know how to see past the forest for the trees. And not just any trees, but the ones the money grows on baby.

After hours and hours of research and crunching the numbers, in my professional opinion, Ravens QB Joe Flacco plays like doggie doo-doo on the road. Now, I know this analysis flies in the face of conventional wisdom which tells us that Flacco is a mentally tough elite QB who can deal with all levels of adversity. But, I’m here to tell ya that just might not be the case.

So, even though 7.5 points seems like a lot, I think you can safely take New England to cover with ease as Tom Brady racks up big numbers throwing to Welker underneath most of the day and then catches the world by surprise by hitting Chad Ochocinco deep a couple of times.

NFC Championship: NY Football Giants +2.5 @ SAN FRANCISCO: And here are the two teams that very few people expected to see playing each other this weekend. Well, except for me, of course. This is why you should listen to me. I was all over these two teams last week, and I’m all over this game this week.  

You can pretty much just toss the line out on this one. It’s basically a pick ‘em game and may officially be by game time. For most people this is a tough game to pick. The Giants are riding the wave right now and appear destined for a Super Bowl XLII rematch with the Patriots and two full weeks of interviews with the entire fucking Manning clan, reminders that Tom Brady is married to Gisele Bundchen and replays of David Tyree’s catch. I can’t wait.

And, here’s something I’ve uncovered in my research. In games that kick off in late afternoons on the West Coast, in shitty stadiums against teams from cities with a large gay population Eli Manning plays a very relaxed style and is great at hooking up with receivers, backs and tight ends. Weird, right? But, the facts are the facts and I think it’s just impossible to overlook how happy Eli seems to be playing in cities in front of a lot of gays. Therefore, take the Giants to blow through the Niners and head on into the Super Bowl as they continue to surge. Hell, if they win a second Super Bowl, someone will probably erect a statue of Eli Manning.

Alright, there you kids. And, as always, if you’re desperate and pathetic enough to take gambling advice from someone on a website named “I’m With Stupid” then you deserve to end up being featured in a local news story about how your gambling addiction cost you your family, house job and car.

--

In other news, on Wednesday’s edition of I’m With Stupid podcast Matt-Man and Jayman absolutely DESTROYED the bad internet censorship bills SOPA and PIPA and the government-loving, liberty-hating people who support those bills. I highly recommend you listen as it was a truly great show.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Letters to Santa

With the latest of 8,000 GOP Presidential debates scheduled to air on FOX News at 9 PM tonight, the IWS news team has uncovered information more revealing of the candidates than any answers they could give to questions asked by Megyn Kelly such as…

“What is the capital of Solyndra?”

“Are corporations people too?”

Or…

“May I run my fingers through your hair?”

Yes folks, put their stances on foreign policy, economic recovery, and bestiality aside; thanks to our operative working within the United States Postal Service, we now reveal the candidates’ true personalities from their letters to Santa Claus…

Dear Santa:

I have been a darn (pardon my expletive) good boy this year. I have, much like you do, made thousands of people feel good about themselves by telling them what they want to hear, and promising them what they want. However, unlike you, I cannot deliver a thing.

I hope this Christmas you can bring my words to fruition. I want you to give gay people every right we normal people have while revealing to them the emotional and financial horrors of a bad marriage. I want you to enact strict guns control laws while holding true to the tenets of the NRA. I want you to read the minds of souls of women and spontaneously and unknowingly vaporize the zygotes inside those women who really don’t want a child so that abortion becomes a non-issue.

Thank you and I think that red suit is very becoming on you. Unless, of course you don’t want me to think that.

Yours in the tepee of the Nephites,

Mitt

Dear Santa:

I would like you to protect every adorable fetus conceived through thick and thin, rape and incest, drug induced bunga bunga parties, and schoolyard dares.

I would also like a soft-serve ice cream machine.

Merry Christmas to you and the Mrs.,

Rick Santorum

Dear Santa:

When I think of you, I think of that time many years ago when on your sleigh, you secretly carpet bombed the Cambodians into submission and helped our Jewish friends to secure the upper peninsula of my beloved Minnesota.

I figure that since you have that kind of power, you could quickly, yet sweetly and peacefully, kill off my husband Marcus, and introduce me to a marriage-worthy man who isn’t gay.

I love you and so does Jesus,

Michele

Dear Santa:

Just like me you are a round, homely looking old man, and yet, the ladies dig you and without even spending a dime, you no doubt get a helluva lot more high class trim than even I. My Christmas wish is simple.

I want your secret. My current wife is getting on my nerves and frankly, and I can’t keep this “genius” façade up forever, so I’m going to need something other than a line of credit at Tiffany’s in order to bag a few more hot chicks before I die.

Beware of the Electro Magnetic Pulses while flying around,

Newt

Dear Santa:

As I tell you every four years or so, I don’t want a goddamn thing from you. You are not the solution to our problems; you are the problem. And…if you have an “in” with the Almighty? Tell him that streets paved with gold are yet another example of the obscene waste of tithings by those in power.

Go to Hell,

Ron Paul

Dear Santa:

I want three things from ya this year. An endless supply of pain meds and a new pair of boots.

Thank Ya,

Rick Perry

And there you have it folks…Another Pulitzer Award winning expose brought to you courtesy of the IWS newshounds.

And…I think the most important thing we have learned from this scoop is, that just like corporations, GOP Presidential candidates are people too.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

email: neshobadude@yahoo.com
Twitter:  @mattmaniws

Ronald Reagan: Holy Shit!! I'm Dead; Get Over It!!

My fellooooooow Americans…Former President Ronald Reagan here.

I watched the GOP Debate that took place at my library last night, and frankly, I have to say…

Those idiotic, playing to our basest fears, anti-government, the sky is falling ass clowns all suck, and couldn’t find their way around my library if there was a Dewey Decimal System available to them.

Perry, Santorum, Bachmann? Not bright. Less bright. Not even bright enough to realize that her husband is gay.

Romney, Huntsman? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…Like Castor and Pollux they are twin sons of different fathers, and both as Mormons with but only one wife each, they are pussies.

Gingrich, Cain, Ron Paul? Short man syndrome cruising the Greek Isles, a minstrel singing dough thrower, and a guy who is opposed to fire departments. Fire Departments, for Godsakes!!

What the hell happened to my party!?

Oh sure, all these freaks throw my name out there in order to be more Reaganesque than the other, but seriously…they all suck.

Do I like President Obama? No, not as a President. He strikes me as an affable guy, but to me, he downplays America’s greatness. He seems pretty smart, but he’s no Gipper. 

However...

America needs a leader who knows that spending cuts AND tax revenues will cure the obesity of the debt and deficit. Hell, during my term, even Tip O’Neill and I could figure that shit out.

I guess two lapsed Irish-Catholics had a helluva lot more sense than a gaggle of evangelical bastards and a batsardess. 

Tax rates under me were higher than they are now. It’s nice to be known as the Great Communicator but Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I taxed the hell out of you people, and you loved me. WTF?

So these dumb ass political “conservative” dwarves who say that spending cuts alone will cure America’s economic problems, will end up saying what I did in King’s Row in 1941:

“Where’s the rest of me!?”

God, they are stupid…and? They’re lightweights. In a word, they suck.

They keep invoking my name in order to get votes; doesn’t that tell you something? It means that they can’t get votes on their own.

You know why? “Cause They’re all Fucking Stupid!!”

Oy…

Y’know…I would just like to be dead. I died a few years ago, and didn’t even know I did, so now? I’d like to just sit here and enjoy it.

Please you GOP candidates, leave my name out of it. I’m not running for President. I served my time. I served my two terms.

If you loved me, the Constitution, and America herself, you would come up with your own, new ideas, and take her to greater heights as President.

I enjoyed a tax funded build up of the military…I once said that Social Security must endure…I believed in a well run Federal government.

When I said that government isn’t the solution; it’s the problem. I was talking about how it was run, not that government should cease to exist.

And, if you clowns think that government serves no purpose, why are you running for President?

Desperately trying to rest in peace,

Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry...Corn Dog Wars!!

Hey you…Yeah, you. Remember me? It’s me, Michele Bachmann…Nothing?

I’m a Tea Party drinking, government bashing, Republican congresswoman from Minnesota and I’m running for President. Now do you remember?

I see that some of you are now shaking your heads, but it would be more helpful if you were shaking them in an up and down fashion and not side to side, but…um…

Fuck…I knew this was going to happen.

Less than a month after I win the GOP Straw Poll in Iowa, the devilishly handsome, well-chiseled, Rick Perry enters the GOP Primary race and I’m tossed aside like a half eaten can of tuna in favor of a prime piece of Texas ribeye.

This sucks. AND IT’S NOT FAIR!!

I’ve been giving and giving. Traipsing along the campaign trail loudly espousing nonsensical, anti-government rhetoric, and what do I get in return?

Heartache…and single digit poll numbers.

From the Halls of Minnetonka to the shores of Biloxi, I have fought your anti-tax battles on the air, and land, and sea. And then what?

Rootin-Tootin’ Rick Perry enters the race, out anti-government rhetoricals me, and out sexy corn dog eatin’s me. WTF?

I’m Michele Bachmann dammit…Glad to meet ya!!

Listen folks, I know how to eat a damn corndog in a sexy way…

Hell, even my allegedly gay husband Marcus, can be sexy when tossing back a dawg…

Okay…I guess he does look gay when he does it. But he’s not, so shut up. My husband is as straight as they come. He’s as straight as the Minnesota winter is long.

Now, take a look at Gov. Perry eating a corndog…

Talk about someone who seems to know his way around a shaft of meat. I’m not saying Perry’s gay, but c’mon, if Hermann Goehring was alive, he’d have that picture blown up and placed on the ceiling over his bed.

Anyway…This entire situation and Rick Perry blow. Hell, even my campaign staff is leaving me, all because of a goddamn corndog.

Maybe at some point during the NBC/Politico GOP Debate at the Ronald Reagan Library tomorrow night, I’ll unleash a new campaign song.

Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener, that is what I truly want to be, ’cause if I were an Oscar Meyer wiener, then everyone would be in love with me!!

I think I’m on to something. And if not..?

I’ll just give Rick Perry a lil’ taste of my “corndog eating” skills, and become his running mate.

Trust me my fellow Americans, being vacuous is not my only skill. When it comes to choking down a dawg or two, this bitch got skillz.

See ya at the debate tomorrow,

Michele Bachmann

Be sure to check out the I’m With Stupid podcast! The #1 Comedy show on Blog Talk Radio!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

GOP Debate Series Part II

Welcome once again folks to our GOP Debate Series. You may recall that we started things off with a question about the economy and our recovery from a recession. In today’s installment we’ll be talking about foreign relations and the various wars and military actions that the US is currently involved in. Okay, let’s get after it!

Q: We are currently embroiled in two wars, Iraq and Afghanistan, and several military actions that aren’t official wars in places like Libya, Yemen and Somalia. How would you extricate the US from these countries and improve our standing with other nations in the world? 

Mitt Romney: Well, luckily I’m a very handsome, extremely charming man with impeccable manners. That’s why everyone all around the world will like me and want to be my friend. I also have a great deal of experience in taking over operations and shutting things down. I know I did it in the corporate world, taking over a company and shutting it down and kicking the employees to the curb, and it will work here too. I’ll just shut things down. We’ll sell of any assets over there and send all the Americans home.  

Rick Perry: I think this is a situation where you need to kick ass and take names. I think the thing to do is to go over to these countries and stand tall and yell “I’M RIGHT HERE BUDDY! YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME? COME AND GET IT! LET’S GO!”  I think that’s what people respect. Nobody wants to hear a bunch of talk and attempts at being friends. They’ll respond to a little kick in the behind. 

Michele Bachmann: Oh I tell you what, this is a very important question. It’s too bad Obama is such a failure and has created this problem by sending all those troops into places like Iraq and Afghanistan and those other places you mentioned that I will go and look up on Google Maps right after the debate. But, what I think is most important is to be firm with these people just like I have to be with my 27 foster children. Sometimes they don’t want to do their chores around the farm. But, you just have to keep after ‘em and remind of what God wants them to do. 

Herman Cain: Uh, well. I think that it’s important for us to lighten the mood a bit over there. Maybe try to tell a few jokes and get them laughing. Once you do that, you can sit down and talk to them. Well, YOU can. I don’t talk to Muslims. 

Rick Santorum: I would tell them that we already have some common ground upon which we can build a new relationship. Our shared hatred for gays. *shudder* OH MAN THEY CREEP ME OUT!!! 

John Huntsman: I too have excellent speaking skills and my multicultural family allows me to be much more comfortable with people who aren’t like me. That, along with my diplomatic experience, will allow me to forge new relationships with the people of the Middle East and around the world. We’ll bring back the troops and wind down military activities in an orderly, proficient manner. 

Ron Paul: What the hell are these morons talking about? Bring them all home. Cut off all foreign aid. These people should be left to deal with their problems on their own, just as we should be too. They don’t like us, we don’t like them. So fuck it. 

Newt Gingrich: As a historian I can tell you that Obama is doing everything all wrong. Obama had the chance to turn the entire Middle East into a bastion of Democracy. Instead, he chose to coddle those people and try to be their best friend. Just like the Nazis did back in the day. 

Well, there ya have it folks. I hope you appreciate this public service that we here at I’m With Stupid are providing as much as we are. This is truly fascinating and educational. We’ll be back to talk social problems next week.

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman_iws

GOP Debate Series Part 1

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the first in a series of GOP Debates being held here on the I’m With Stupid blog and sponsored by the I’m With Stupid internet radio show. 

The format is simple. We’ll throw out a very important question that is something that matters greatly to the American people and give each candidate a chance to answer it to the best of his or her abilities. We’ll do one question each week. Please withhold your applause until after each candidate has had a chance to answer, and try to refrain from any loud verbal outbursts other than laughter.  Okay, let’s get started.

Q1: What, if anything, would you do to improve the economy and maybe speed up the recovery?

Michele Bachmann: Well, I would do a heck of a lot more than Obama, I tell you that much right now. I think mostly I would just tilt my head back a bit and open my eyes really wide and stare at the economy until it began whimpering and fidgeting like Rick Santorum having to ride in an elevator with all of Lady Ga Ga’s male back up dancers. 

Mitt Romney: First I’d just like to say that those Patriots are looking good and it’s gonna be another great championship season for them coming right on the heels of a Red Sox World Series Win! Wooo! But, as to your question, I would use my rugged good looks and natural charm along with my impeccable manners to make the economy feel completely comfortable with me and then covert it into a growing, dynamic economy.

Tim Pawlenty: Uh, I would mostly just bad-mouth the economy behind its back and then be all deferential to it to its face in hopes that it would like me.  

Ron Paul: I wouldn’t do a GOD DAMN THING! The economy is on its own. Just like the rest of us. 

Herman Cain: I would check the recipe and make sure I got all the ingredients right. Then I’d let it rise, fall and rise again. Then, cover it with all kinds of goodies to enhance its look and taste and put it in a preheated oven to rise to its full potential. 

Gary Johnson: I would smoke a doobie and tell everyone to chill out. 

Rich Santorum: I’d stop those nasty, disgusting gays from getting married. They’re so gross! Ewwww! 

Newt Gingrich: I’m already running a million dollar tab at Tiffany’s and going on cruises around the Greek Isles, what the hell else do you people want from me? 

John Huntsman: Oh, I’d do a little of this, and a little of that. I would take good ideas from both sides and come up with a moderate, middle of the road plan. Then I would check my hair in the mirror to make sure I still look better than Mitt, and then move on to the next challenge.

Rick Perry: I would pray. And then I would pray some more. Then I’d point out that I have much better hair than either John Huntsman OR Mitt Romney. After praying some more I would get out my old .45’s and start shooting the dirt all around the economy’s feet and yell “DANCE ECONOMY! DANCE!  Then, I would secede. 

Okay, so there you have it folks. The first round of the I’m With Stupid GOP Debate is now complete. We’ll be back soon with round two’s big question. 

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman_iws