Blogmas Day 8: Jack Dorsey is an Unoriginal Moron

So, Twitter founder Jack Dorsey decided to go on an epic, once in a lifetime trip for his birthday. He wanted to get away from it all and reconnect with his Chakras ‘n shit without the distractions of the internet or social media or television. So, he went to …

Wait, what? He went to Myanmar? Seriously?

Come on man! A billionaire goes to Myanmar, not to discuss with them maybe ending their little problem of ETHNIC CLEANSING of RohingyaMuslims, and other human rights abuses going on there, but to sit cross-legged in a hut and meditate so he can become more aware of his pain and pleasure and inner self? What. A. Moron.

And, you know what’s worse? As Matt-Man pointed out today, Jack isn’t even being original! He got the whole idea form Mr. Peterman on Seinfeld!

This is the stupidest thing Jack has done since expanding Twitter to 280 characters and proposing getting rid of the “Heart” button. By the way Jack, we’re still waiting for the ability to edit tweets. Just sayin!

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS
Facebook: JaymanIWS

A Very Special Social Media Mother's Day Extravaganza

It's Mother's Day again and honestly Matt-Man and Jayman have had about enough of this stupid made-up holiday. So, it's time to do something a little different. Oh we're still gonna celebrate the day, but we're going to do it by reading special Mother's Day posts we see on social media. The good, the bad, the ugly, and hopefully, the hilarious. We'll also have the phone lines open for anyone who would like to call and share a sweet or possibly crazy mom story or two.

As always our Canadian Bureau Chief Jamie Mapleleaf will be here along with the IWS Players to add some charm to the proceedings. We'll have our usual witty banter, good and bad music, booze tasting and other shenanigans. So, if you want to do something REALLY SPECIAL for mom this Mother's Day you will treat her to an uninterrupted espisode of IWS Radio and even let her call in @ 661l.244.9852!

Mark Zuckerberg Super Likes IWS Radio

Hi, Mark Zuckerberg here for IWS Radio and let me tell you...

Whenever I see something posted to Facebook by Jay, Matt, or I'm With Stupid, I weep that I have yet to add a "Super Like" button because I would click on it every damn time.

With their witty banter, bitingly sarcastic political and social commentary, and staff of hilariously professional correspondents, Jay, Matt and IWS Radio have transformed the internets and the world. And dig it...

On tomorrow's IWS Radio Show which will air LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET, they are going to be covering a topic that is near and dear to my heart...Check out the awesome press release for tomorrow's show:

You know social media has changed the way the world works. We get our news and information in 140 character bursts from Twitter or on the "trending topics" section on Facebook. At one time this seemed like a very positive thing, but now? Maybe not so much. Everyone is so focused on creating buzz and going viral and getting clicks that the substance is all gone! Well, not on IWS Radio dammit!

Matt-Man and Jayman are going to discuss the ways that social media has changed the world. Both the good and the bad. It's brought us all closer together and given people all over the world the chance to connect. It has also torn us apart as discussion usually devolve into name calling arguments with everyone just trying to shout the other side down. This is just so sad. How did this happen? Matt and Jay have a few theories on this and will break it all down this week.

How hard is to "go viral" and why is everyone so desperate to do so? Why won't Miley Cyrus re-tweet Jayman? Which social media site is the best? How dead are blogs? Are podcasts dead? Is all about Periscope and Vine and Instagram now? It all changes so fast and it takes social media gurus like Matt and Jay to keep it all straight.

As always Canadian Bureau Chief Jamie Mapleleaf and some members of the IWS Players will be along to entertain and inform you. And as always we'll be taking YOUR CALLS @ 661.244.9852 so be sure to join us for all the fun and games!

Sounds awesome, so make sure you listen tomorrow LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET as IWS Radio presents: Going Viral and Creating Buzz on Social Media.

To catch it LIVE or later in archives, click right HERE.

A Smartass Looks At Fifty

Cheers and greetings to you all on this Thursday edition of the IWS Radio website.

Today is a special day, well not really a special day, but a day that will pre-emptively note a landmark event that will take place on Saturday.

I turn 50 years old on Saturday, and let me tell ya…over the past half-century, I have learned some valuable lessons, so let’s get to them in order for generations to read and learn.

YOU are not the best at what you do. Oh sure, I write pretty well, but I know that in the world there are more than a handful of better writers than I…or is that me?

Seriously folks, no matter what you do, somebody can do it better, so just forget about the others, and work on improving yourself.

No…no…not all babies are cute. Including yours.  Just like mine, he came out of the womb blue.  Babies may grow up to be cute, but most babies are born post-partum ugly.

When in a relationship, never be afraid to say what is on your mind.  In my marriage, I was afraid to do that. I was the peacemaker. When things are bad, don’t hold your tongue. I held my tongue for many years and all it left me with was bitterness and a case of thrush.

Do not, and I repeat…Do NOT EVER…eat Vienna Sausages.

It is claimed that Facebook, Twitter, and social media are filled with drama. Not true…PEOPLE are filled with drama, so choose your social media friends carefully, and if one appears to be filled with drama, needle the hell out of him or her without regret, because it is fucking fun.

Miracle Whip is a salad dressing and it sucks.  Hellman’s Mayonnaise is the way to go.

If someone who is close to you tells you to shut the fuck up because you are being an idiot? They are probably one of the closest friends you have.

If your children don’t love you…Quit making drunken calls to them on Sundays to berate them...move on with your life, and instead, marry some hot chick from a major grocery store deli.

Never ask a hot chick from a major grocery store deli to marry you.

Never cook liver in a crockpot.

Most of all, remember this…

It’s fine to have hundreds of friends on Facebook, and thousands of followers on Twitter, but more importantly, it is imperative that we all have a handful of close friends.

After 50 years, I am glad to say that I still have a few close friends, and really?  That’s all that matters, because whether I have two years left or twenty years left, my small circle of close friends will be there for me, and I for them.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
Tweet Me A Birthday Wish
Facebook Me HARD 

Social Media, Self-Censorship, and Sofia Vergara

Beginning this Saturday, BIG changes are coming to the IWS Radio website...

But for more information, you will have to look us up Saturday as we pimp out our Sunday radio show...

Social Media, Self-Censorship, and YOU!!

Make sure to check back here tomorrow for details and local listings for IWS Radio's presentation of Social Media, Self-Censorship, and YOU!!

This show is going to be hotter than Sofia Vergara, and let me tell ya...That's a huge claim!!

You Can Manually Retweet Me Anytime Baby!

Holaaaaaaaaaaaaa y’all! You know I love Twitter. I love it a lot more than Facebook. Okay, I love most things more than Facebook. Twitter is fun and entertaining and full of really hot chicks that are desperate to be internet famous in the form of Favstar favorites and retweets. Being really hot means they can post pics of themselves in bikinis or short shorts or showing some sexy cleavage and they’ll rack (see what I did there?) up the followers and guys will “favorite” their tweets in hopes of getting to have sex with them. Such teases!

This disturbs me so much that I can’t help but take part in it. Wait, that’s not true. My retweets are legit and my only motivation is friendship and possibly marriage. Never anything illicit or dirty! That’s not my style at all.

Like all social media sites, Twitter has its share of drama and battles. People get into tiffs over politics, sports, pop culture and all the usual stuff. The biggest battle raging on Twitter however is over retweets. There is a large and very vocal group of people who always have their panties in a wad over MANUAL retweets and they will always be angry about it.

What’s a “manual” retweet you ask? Well, if you are using a Twitter app like TweetDeck or whatever, when you hit the retweet button you are given the option of just retweeting the tweet or editing the tweet by adding something to it. Why does it upset so many people to be “manually” retweeted? Well, you see when some brilliant and hilarious Favstar person tweets a brilliant and hilarious tweet, if you “manually” retweet it, when one of YOUR followers who doesn’t happen to follow the brilliant and hilarious tweet “favorites” that tweet YOU …. *sniff, sniff* …. ALSO GET A STAR AND IT’S NOT FAIR BECAUSE YOU DON’T DESERVE THAT STAR!!!! THE ORIGINAL BRILLIANT AND HILARIOUS TWEETER IS THE ONLY ONE WHO DESERVES THE STARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! YOU’RE STEALING STARS AND UNFAIRLY SHARING MY SPOTLIGHT!

I was rather rudely introduced to this scourge of manual retweets one day when I manually retweeted a pretty funny person’s tweet and added “LOL!” to it. The person immediately sent me a direct message telling me not to do that. I informed them that I will never, ever do anything to let them know I find them funny or give them any positive reinforcement again as long as I live. Okay, so maybe I was being a little dramatic, but the silliness of the whole thing just pissed me off.

Now, I will agree that hitting the “edit” button and retweeting without adding anything else in an attempt to appropriate someone else’s tweet (or stars) is a pretty crappy thing to do. Stealing tweets is a big problem and a really crappy thing to do. I agree that stealing tweets is a form of stealing someone’s intellectual property and don’t support that at all. There is also a HUGE problem with sites like Buzzfeed and Huffington Post taking screen grabs of people’s tweets and using them as content to drive traffic. That’s some bullshit right there. But for journalists who whine about people editing their tweets that link to a story they’ve done, as long as the link is still there and you can still get the traffic, don’t bitch about it.

Most people aren’t thinking about stars or Favstar trophies or any of those silly little things though. Most of them are on Twitter to crack a few jokes, mock famous people and politicians, enjoy big sporting events and stuff like that together. Most people aren’t narcissistic freaks desperate for attention and validation through meaningless stars and trophies from some website.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Friend me on Facebook
Follow me on Twitter

I Need Answers!!

Cheeeeeeeeers and a tremendously happy Thursday to you all!!

I am, as the hipsters would have said some thirty years ago, “stoked.”

Why is that you ask?  Well, let me tell ya.

For the first time in a lonnnnnnng time, I have the entire day of Thursday off…on a regular basis no less.  It’s true!!

I am going to be productive, relax some as well, tip a few, and enjoy with gusto, my new found time away from the Beer Mine.  However…

Before I can truly enjoy the day, I need your help.  I need some questions answered so I can quit thinking about them, and get to the important business of relaxing and focusing on Sunday’s IWS Radio Show.

First of all.  Jayman and I briefly touched upon this a month or so ago on the radio show.  How is it that Jesus’ birthday is celebrated on the same day every year, but his death and resurrection is on a different day every year?  Something about that just doesn’t sound kosher, and I’d like to know the reasoning behind it.

Why does Ed Schultz have a show on MSNBC and a syndicated radio show?  The guy is a freak show. Don’t get me wrong; he’s great to make fun of, but he’s a train wreck.  Also riddle me this?  Sean Hannity and I actually agree on this summation of Eddie; which of us comes off looking worse for agreeing with the other?

Set me straight people…Rep. Vance McAllister (R-Cocktown) was caught on video making out with his staffer Melissa Peacock (R-Slutsville), both of whom are married…She resigns, and he remains a Congressman and a, “champion of traditional family values.”  Could somebody…anybody…please explain the logic and justice in the results of this affair?

If you are a regular reader of this blog you know that we have been celebrating National Poetry Month, which begs a serious question.  If a poem is written in the forest and there is no one around to read it, does it rhyme? I need to know!!

I am still seeing hash tags on Twitter in reference to #CancelColbert.  Really? People are still trying to cancel the Colbert Report because of the Ching Chong Ding Dong thing?

I read an article on Salon.com which interviewed Suey Park who basically started this thing, and she said “whiteness is the enemy” of Asian-Americans.

That seems pwetty wacist to me but hu am I to judge?  But, rell…maybe Suey Park needs to show a rittle wespectful sirence on dis one.  Am I wight?

Let’s say, hypothetically of course, that I have a hot friend who got divorced just days ago…

Is there a waiting period before I hit on her, and/or make lewd sexual comments toward her? I’d like to hit upon, and/or talk dirty to her, but only in the most appropriate, and socially acceptable manner.  I’m a gentleman in that regard.

Lastly…

When Jay and I do our show prep call today, should I wear shorts and a T-Shirt, or merely obscure my nakedness ‘neath the comfort of a silk robe?

I need your help and insight folks; my happiness, and the lives of millions of Americans are depending on you.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Courtney Stodden and Jayman Should be Friends

Hola y'all! As you guys probably already know, I don't have a whole lot of social skills. Well, once of my new year's resolutions was to work on that. I decided that I needed to be more open and engage people in conversation in hopes of making friends. The first person I have attempted to make friends with is Courtney Stodden.

Here's how it's gone so far...

So far, no response whatsoever! WTF? Why won't Courtney be my friend? I don't really know what else I can do. I've been as charming and thoughtful as hell and even kind of funny and NOTHING! Not even a smiley face or an acknowledgment that I even exist. I'm at a total loss as to what to do next.

I'm going to have to decide if I keep trying to be friends with Courtney Stodden or move on to someone else. What do you guys think?

Jayman3768@gmail.com
My Facebook
@Jayman_IWS

Matt Said, Jay Said...11032013

Matt shames.  Jay seeks.  You say, “That sounds about right.”

Matt:  How the hell are ya?
Jay:  I’m good.  I feel like a new person.
Matt:  Really?  In a good way?  Wow, why is that?

Jay:  Well, I am branching out socially.  I am seeking out new friends on social media sites.
Matt:  Why?
Jay:  Because I strongly yearn to meet new and interesting people.
Matt:  You?  Seriously?
Jay:  Well, yeah…in part…and it helps to pad my friends and follower numbers.
Matt:  I see…

Jay:  Dude…It’s all about building relationships.
Matt:  Relationships are important if not intrusive, whether we want them or not.
Jay:  Exactly.  And man…I am building them.  My efforts have garnered us like 20 “likes” on our FB page.
Matt: I saw that.
Jay:  And I have met a few folks who have thus far pretended to like me for the time being.
Matt:  Well Hell…That makes it all worthwhile.
Jay:  I know, right?

Matt:  Hmmmmmm….
Jay:  What?  Did you just think of something deep, or are you experiencing an aneurysm?
Matt:  Y’know, Jayman…This Sunday we could talk about relationships.  All types of relationships.
Jay:  Relationships do come in many different packages.
Matt:  Yes they do.

Jay:  There are your friend relationships and family relationships.
Matt:  Neighbor and co-worker relationships.
Jay:  Relationships with your pets and other animals.
Matt:  Sexual relationships.
Jay:  Mmmmmmmmm…Sexual relati---um, sorry…Facebook relationships.
Matt:  Twitter relationships.
Jay:  Stumble Upon relationships.

Matt:  I don’t have any of those.
Jay:  I know…That’s why you never get any Stumble love on your posts.
Matt:  It’s so hard though.  I’d have to follow other Stumblers.
Jay:  It’s a cross that we must all bear in order to get our stories out.
Matt:  Okay…Maybe I’ll work on that.
Jay:  Good Boy.

Matt:  Sometimes, relationships go bad and it is very sad.
Jay:  Oh I know, and sometimes in addition to going bad, they get really funny while doing so.
Matt:  We wouldn’t want to talk about how bad relationships can be funny would we?
Jay:  Noooooooooooooo.

Matt and Jay:  Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Jay:  Alright then…The Relationship Show it is.
Matt:  We’ll cover every aspect of every type of relationship that exists.
Jay:  We can even talk about how some doctors have ended their relationship with us.
Matt:  Man, it will be painful to talk about, but…we’re professionals.

Jay:  And of course, we’ll be taking phone calls from our diverse and worldwide audience.
Matt:  That right there is a hot relationship.
Jay:  Damn right.

Matt:  I think we’re ready.
Jay:  I think so too, but are we ready for a committed relationship?
Matt:  I guess we’ll find out this Sunday from Noon-2 PM Eastern STANDARD Time.
Jay:  Indeed, can’t have a show relationship with folks if folks don’t set their clocks back!!

Matt:  Until Sunday Jayman!!
Jay:  Word.

To catch all of the IWS Radio hilarity on Blog Talk Radio LIVE this Sunday from Noon-2 PM ET, click HERE.

Partisan Troll are Ruining Twitter

Hola Libtards and Rethugs! Sunday night I was watching the Emmys when the category for best writing for a variety show came up. As each of the shows like “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report” and Jimmy Kimmel reeled off their looooooooooooooong list of writers I noticed something interesting. Basically the intros went like this “White Guy” “White Guy” White Guy” “White Guy” “White Woman” “White Guy” “White Guy” and finally “White Guy.” 

Sheeeeeeeeeeeit …. IWS Radio has more diversity in ONE correspondent than Colbert has on his whole freaking staff. (There was a woman up there somewhere with them but she isn’t in this pic. The second time they went up, there was a second woman, but I suspect they just grabbed her out the audience so they would look more diverse. They would have grabbed a black and/or Latino too IF THEY COULD HAVE FOUND ONE IN THAT AUDIENCE.)

I was struck by the lack of diversity on these writing staffs especially given the liberal bent of these shows and how much they love to lecture others about diversity. So, I Tweeted “Funny how the ‘lecture everyone else about diversity’ shows can’t find any black, Latino and only one woman writer.” Or something close to that.

Well, turns out that some far left-wing extremist partisan was trolling twitter and decided to respond to me: “I wasn’t aware that these businesses that produce those shows were liberal to any degree. You’re evidence?”

Oooooooooo … She nailed me! Wow! I was knocked on my heels for minute there. We all know that no “business” is ever anything but evil and conservative. I guess she was trying to imply that the corporations that own the networks that these shows are on are conservative so the shows are also? Or maybe she was ignoring the leftward lean of the shows and talking about the parent companies only? Or maybe she considers anything to the right of Chris Hays to be “conservative?” We’ll never know because she never elaborated.

So, I hit back with “The Daily Show and Colbert Report are raging right-wing shows? I had no idea.”  ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

It was at this point that she realized she was completely wrong so she did what everyone in that situation does. She got personal and ignored my original point by telling me “You do appear to be out of ideas!”  HAAAAAAA!! Wooo this chick is almost more than I can handle!

Okay, so it was apparent to me that this was going to go nowhere and I had found yet another person who isn’t interesting in any real discussion if it challenges her “My side is pure and perfect and always right” world view. I decided to try, just once to see if she would address the lack of diversity issue I had tweeted about. After another exchange where she once again resorted to name calling I asked her “Are you bothered by the lack of  black, Latino and women writers on these HUGE staffs or are you so partisan that you can never criticize your … uh … OUR (I am for the most part Team Blue) side?”

Her sad little response was “Oh, you make it too easy.” This is what people say when they agree with you but can’t admit it. They pretend to be sooooo intellectually superior that they can’t even be bothered to answer.

See there’s Colbert’s token female writer! I told you she was there somewhere.

The obvious truth is that YES she is bothered by the lack of diversity on these writing staffs. She can’t admit it though because if she does she would be acknowledging that her side isn’t as pure and perfect as she pretends it is. She’s not alone either. Democrats suddenly are totally in favor of all kinds of stuff they used to be opposed to. From support of the surveillance state to ignoring lack of diversity to support for launching an unnecessary, unprovoked war of choice with Syria, extreme partisans like this Twitter Troll have decided to copy the republicans by refusing to ever admit that maybe, just possibly, someone on their side might be even the slightest bit wrong about anything EVER!

This is why we can’t have nice things America.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook
@Jayman_IWS

Patience Is a Virtue

Cheeeeeers Chuckleheads!!

Today, I want to talk about patience.  Not patience with things because I will have none of that, but rather…

Patience with people.

Believe it or not, I get compliments from many people on my patience.  Ironically, people think I am a sarcastic asshole, ha!!  If I actually had only half the patience that I do with people, you probably would have been insulted over the years.  Wait!? What!?

Anyhoo…

This came up yesterday on Twitter and Facebook, because well….I brought it up.

For the last twelve years that I have lived with my Schmoop, Ryno has never been here, and he has never seen me, other than the times that I have gone to his house (which used to be mine) or at a sporting event in which he was and/or is participating.

I have often laughed about this myself, but don’t you (especially you mothers) find this crazy?

I have always wanted my son to come over. I love him….He’s funny…He’s me…but no…

I get, 

“You live with a whore who had absolutely nothing to do with the break-up of our marriage which I refuse to divorce you from so, no….Ryno cannot come over and play."

I am not too far from the truth in that statement and when I think of that I find it even more ironic because said Mom is against Gay Marriage, but by God….“I will defend mine until one of us dies!!”

Uuch…The thing is…In tow months our sn will be 18 and graduated and I don’t HAVE to pay anything to them, but…

I’m Matt-Man and of course I will, but how much, and how so?

Currently I pay her $135.00 a week.  I am told, considering what I make, is very nice…and that was directed through a wink from a woman toward another woman in need…

Anyhoo…

My point is…I only have two more months of this and I have been putting up with it, for twelve years!!

My best friend ever, has for twelve years, seen me cry, rampage, and otherwise turn the world on its head over the lack of seeing my son and yet a stipend…And now?

The end is in sight.  I can pay or not soon.  I choose to pay and help him for college, but you know what?

I choose to help him out all I can, but…

He’s gonna have to come to the Bagwine digs to get it.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

And by the way ....Jayman and I did an excellent Radio Show yesterday, full of God, Jesus, Easter, and on HOT Mrs. Mike!!  To listen to it in in archives click HERE.

Change is Good, Unless it's Bad

Hola y’all! I’m not one of those people who hates change. I don’t normally dread it or fight it. In fact, I welcome change. Hell, I’ve moved like 20 times total in my life so obviously change isn’t that big of a deal to me. Sometimes I make changes in my life just for the hell of it even. In fact, I’m kind of dying to make all kinds of changes right now.

Over at IWS Radio we’re always changing. We’ve changed the intro oodles of times and …. AND …. it might be changed again this week. Who knows how many new segments we’ll come up with and then just casually forget to do again stop doing for whatever reason over the next few months? Change is good! Change keeps things fresh! Change keeps us from getting into a rut and just doing the same thing over and over and over.

This week, I was FORCED to change banks. My bank, Bank of America, sold all their branches in my area to Arvest. I was a little bummed by this because this was change I never asked for or wanted. Luckily, it involved little to no action on my part though. The switchover went off without a hitch and now I have a new bank! I get to go into the new branches and check out all the babes working the counter and maybe even take out a loan just for the fun of it. See? Change is good!

Sometimes though, people or companies make changes that just don’t work. Then they try to make it all better by making MORE changes. Worse than that, a lot times their changes are for no reason and have no real plan behind them. This never works out well.

A great example of bad people who make bad changes all the time is Tumblr. Every single time they make changes, their site becomes less useful. It’s almost as if they do focus groups of Tumblrs to find out what features they like most and then say “Let’s get rid of those features immediately!” Granted I’ve been hating on Tumblr lately, but it just annoys me so much!

Facebook loves to make changes too. I don’t have the NEW Facebook yet. Well, I guess I don’t. The last time they made changes lots of people said they hated it, but I liked it. I like the ticker over on the upper right and easily ignore the ads just to the right of the News Feed. The thing about Facebook’s changes is that they tend to reset everyone’s settings to some default that nobody wants when they make changes. Also, they love to tell me that they “removed” someone from my ticker or feed because I’m not interacting with them much. Yo, big brother, I’ll decide who is on my feed and who isn’t, thank you very much! Also, why do I always have to reset my feed to “Most Recent” several times a day? Haven’t you notice that I do that ALL the time?

But, when it comes to making bad changes, NOBODY beats Twitter! It seems like every change they make sucks. Recently they made the suckiest change of all. They decided to kill TweetDeck. Well, not completely. Very soon TweetDeck will not work as a separate desktop program. It will only work within your browser. Yes, there will still be a TweetDeck, but it won’t be as useful and won’t have all the same features. I get that Twitter can do whatever they want with their products, but I don’t get the theory behind making them less easy and fun to use!

So, my point is, and I do have one, change isn’t bad. Change is something that should be embraced and even done willingly. But, there has to be a plan and it has to be for the better. Lots of software companies seem to forget the “for the better” part.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS 

P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SCHMOOPALICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Matt Said, Jay Said...$400

Matt:  Yeah, what do you want?
Jay:  Y’know?  You’re always trying to be “edgy” when you answer the phone even though you know it’s me.
Matt: I can’t help it.
Jay:  Well stop it.  Just answer the phone like a normal person.
Matt:  I’m sorry…Should we start over?
Jay:  Yes…Hang up and I’ll call back.
Matt:  Otay.

Matt:  Hello?  You've reached Bi-Sexual Records, Clive Davis speaking…
Jay:  See?  That was much better, and didn't it feel good?
Matt:  Eh, it felt okay.  I could go either way on that.
Jay:  Ha Haaaaaaaaa, aren't you clever?
Matt:  Not really.
Jay:  You are correct, but that was a rhetorical question.
Matt:  I know; I get your freaky mind games, Mister Man.
Jay:  I’m a playa.

Matt:  Anyhoo…Oh hell Jayman, Angry Mailman is here, and he may have some good tidings for us.
Jay:  Well, quit peeing yourself and go check.
Matt:  Jayman…It came!!  It came!!
Jay:  Oh c’mon dude; I don’t need to know that, especially if it came while talking to me.
Matt:  No you dumbass, not my cock, OUR IWS check!!

Jay:  Ohhhhhhhhh Helllll Yeahhhhhh….I think I just came.
Matt:  Sounded like it…Can you believe this?  We got the check.  We’re going to go Premium on BTR!!
Jay:  We’ll have like unlimited time and unlimited file uploads now.  We’re gonna fuck with some people.
Matt:  Oh c’mon…This is not a license to thoroughly make fun of people who are jerks…….

Matt and Jay:  HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa…The Hell it isn't!!

Jay:  We’ll start with Logan Knight.  She made fun of our incredibly sweet and hot IWS gal pal Tamra last night.
Matt:  Oh hell yes…That Logan chick is a dead cunt walking.
Jay:  You said, “cunt” that may be a bit much.  I mean, she is, but…
Matt:  Okay…well…no…yeah, she’s a cunt.
Jay:  I agree, but well…should we use that word to describe another human being?
Matt:  Logan Knight made fun of sweet Tamra…Logan is NOT a human being.
Jay:  Word.

Matt:  Man…we throw out the cunt word today as we did last Wednesday; should we reflect on what we say?
Jay:  You mean as far as what we say on the air and write on the blog?
Matt:  Yeah…Do we sometimes cross this nebulous and ever-moving line of what is okay and what is not?
Jay:  What the fuck ever? Why the fuck not?  Let’s talk the fuck about being offensive on Saturday.

Matt:  I think I’m with you.
Jay:  You better be the fuck with me, you cunt.
Matt:  Jay….Jay…Jay stop it.
Jay:  I’m sorry…I am a method acting international internet radio star, and I was getting into character.
Matt:  Quite understandable.
Jay:  Sorry.

Matt:  I think we are ready, annnnnnnd we can rip McMImports for not sponsoring us.
Jay:  Y’know…I was just calming down and you brought those Bulgarian Bastards up.
Matt:  Easy…We can talk about them tonight.
Jay:  Alright….Alright…I’m alright.
Matt:  Bye Jayman.
Jay:  What the fuck ever.

And catch us tonight on BTR as we discuss does comedy ever cross the line and the new horizons that IWS will be taking.  You can catch it all tonight LIVE at 11 PM ET TONIGHT right HERE!!