Memorial Day 2014...Click To Listen

Happy Memorial Day and dig it…

You all are in for a treat because not only do you see the beautiful pic of our incredibly to die for friend Tiff, our IWS Radio Memorial Day Babe of the Day to the right, but yesterday?

Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team put on one helluva radio show, and you can catch it all right HERE.

No shit!?  It’s like…as we were dong it…it was recorded on Blog Talk Radio or something.  It’s fancy!!

IWS Radio celebrated Memorial Day without using this solemn day without turning it into our own marketing bitch for mattresses, liquor sales, or FOX News.

Jay, Matt, Joshua, Tammy Tibbles, and others, talked about how great America is, and how we mourn those who have passed on in order to secure our right to do an internationally famous internet radio show.

Now there was a bit of a hiccup on the show as an unscheduled guest chimed in.

The adorable TamiJ chimed in, and pontificated on Obama Care, Oregon politics, and read us her resume as well.

She quickly dispatched herself from the conversation once she listened to Slyder Balzcock read In Flanders Fields, making a mockery of the fallen soldiers that have…fallen before us.  So atypical of a self-proclaimed right-wing, God fearing, gun toting, Conservative.

Very sad, but worth a listen. Actually, Tami is very animated, cute, and entertaining, but we need to keep her in check.  She talks too much, too quickly, and unless she can prove otherwise in the future, wrong on every issue.

But all in all, yesterday’s IWS Radio Show was awesome.  The boys talked about the heroes gone by, and the burgers yet to be grilled.

It was the perfect blend of Memorial Day chicanery to the revelers, and Memorial Day honor to those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for this great country of ours.

So…

Today, while you are honoring the dead, and cooking up burgers and brats, listen to IWS Radio…

To listen, and spend part of your Memorial Day with us, click right HERE, or watch below...

Cold Jokes are as Dry as They are Weary

Happy Hump Day ladies and gentlemen…Matt-Man here with some not so funny stand-up comedic type jokes for ya…

Unless you live in the desert southwest and/or the fucking tip of Florida, you know that of late, it has been colder than Ann Coulter’s pussy.

Yeah, I said that…so in honor of the Polar Vortex that has gripped the nation, here are some, “It’s so cold outside…” jokes…

From Tiffany…“It’s so cold outside, I should wear socks.”  Ha Ha…Floridians are so damn funny.

From my wake-up buddy Amy…“It’s so cold outside, I peed an icicle.”  As Amy lives in Alabama, I understand that she pees outside as most Alabamians do.

Now our wonderful friend Jeff, imparted one that wasn’t half-bad…

“It’s colder than a room full of ex-wives.”

Not bad, but I have no idea why his reference dealt with plural ex-wives.  We may have to talk to him about that.

And then I heard this…

“It's so cold that the local flasher was caught *describing* himself 
to women.”

And then there is this…

 “It’s so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.”

The only reason that I find this one funny, is because when working at the Beer Mine Drive-Thru during the winter?

It’s a constant 38 degrees sans wind in the beer cooler, and yeah, THAT big ass beer refrigerator keeps one warm relative to the actual outside.

Lastly, I got this one on Facebook last night…

“It's so cold outside that my sac feels like two peas in a mail mans leather bag.”

I have no idea what that means….I don’t know why a mailman/mail woman would be delivering pea pods, but I liked it because somebody participated in my shout out for jokes.

And that’s good enough for me.

Oh sure, this post could be longer and much more scintillating, but damn, it’s cold outside!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

matmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Springfield, Ohio...The Unhappiest City in the United States

It has come to my attention and to the attention of many others that over the past three years, Gallup has been conducting a survey of citizens in 357 major U.S. population centers in order to find the happiest and most unhappy cities in the United States.

While the poll showed that Ocean City, NJ is the least depressed, and Casper, WY is the happiest, the poll also showed that the most unhappiest place in the Unites States in none other than…

Cue the fanfare…

Wait for it…

That’s Right, America!!

Springfield, Ohio!!

The municipality of my musings.  The city limits of my solace.  My lifelong friend and hometown that I adoringly and affectionately refer to as, Bagwine, Ohio, is Number One!!

Or, as I should say to our burgeoning population of Mexican-Springfielders so they too, can celebrate…

“Bagwine, Ohio is Numero Uno, Mi Amigo…Pass the 40 of King Cobra and Viva Zapata!!”

While being Number One in the area of, “U.S. City that Sucks the Most” may seem like a stigma to some communities, we here in Springfield are awash with tears of joy induced by our new found notoriety.

Being the worst at something isn’t necessarily bad.  You know what is bad?  Being obscure.

And today, we in the Champion City, just as the Phoenix rose from the ashes, and Edmund Hillary scaled to the top of the Everest, have cheated the cold clench of obscurity and proudly planted our flag of penultimate angst and ill-will atop this naïve and otherwise happy-go-lucky nation.

Our amber waves of grain waft in the wind in the form of the purplish bull-thistle that acts as a waving, weedy headstone atop the razed land where the International Harvester plant used to stand.

The Crowell-Collier Building while mainly empty and no longer publishing 20 Million periodicals a month like it did until 1956, still looks down upon the city as life goes by.

The once thriving population of some 82,000 has dwindled to 60,000 at best, but that means one can get through the lines at the Porta-Potties much more quickly during the Downtown Plaza Parties in the Summer.

Our dumpster diving industry is still going strong, although being the industrious workers that we are in Springfield, we have glutted the aluminum recycling market, and prices are quickly dropping.

Alas, I ask…are we collectively in Springfield, Ohio really all that unhappy?  I have no idea, because I have no idea who Gallup contacted during their survey.  I know I wasn’t contacted. I don’t know anybody who was.

The answer to my question might be found in something a long time friend of mine, Sherri said in response to my posting of these results on my Facebook page.  She said…

“Not to be corny, but happiness is not a place.”

After responding to her by saying that the spot where a chick’s back of the thigh melds into her ass is a very happy place, I figured she was right.

In all seriousness?

I work among the masses here in Springfield, Ohio, and while things aren’t great or anything, I don’t see this place being the unhappiest place in America.  I see it as probably how many Americans view their own cities, towns, and burgs.

Just a town full of some people who are doing well, some doing okay, and some doing not-so-well.

I’d venture to say that if my BFF/OSP Schmoop and I were living anywhere else, we’d still be in the group that is “doing okay”, and…we’d still be happy, which gives credence to what Mizz Sherri said.

However…

Another friend of mine, Tiffany, commented on the same Facebook post as Sherri and said the following as to why people in Springfield aren’t very happy…

“Only because they don’t listen to the I’m With Stupid Radio Show.”

Tiffany is a freakin’ genius.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

email:  neshobadude@yahoo.com
twitter:  @mattmaniws