Matt Said, Jay Said (937) 323-1779

Matt gives…Jay sacrifices…You, take.

Matt:  How the hell are ya?
Jay:  Just freakin’ fantastic, and you?
Matt:  Swell.  Did the Jaymom have a good birthday?

Jay:  Oh yeah.  I set up a dinner at Colton’s and got her a birthday cake.
Matt:  You are a thoughtful man.
Jay:  I’m a giver Matt-Man…a giver.
Matt:  That you are.

Jay:  Any big plans for Schmoop’s birthday?
Matt:  I am getting her flowers and I want to get her Taco Bell for dinner, but…

Jay:  But wha---Oh you can’t have any because of your breadless Lent.
Matt:  Exactly.  Do you think a one day dispensation on the bread thing is in order?

Jay:  Let me pose that question to a higher power.
Matt:  Who?  God?
Jay:  Noooooooooo, higher than that, Reverend Moneymaker.  I’ll call him real quick.  Hold on.
Matt:  Oh okay.

Jay:  Good News!!  He said that since you are doing it to please someone else, you may scarf down some tacos.
Matt:  Hot Damn!!
Jay:  Hey now…I don’t think he’d appreciate that language.
Matt:  Oops, forgive me.

Jay:  That is nice of you to break your Lenten sacrifice one day for Schmoop.
Matt:  I’m a giver Jayman, a giver.
Jay:  That you are.

Matt:  So this week, it is confirmed…It has to be an 8 P.M. show since the new help is on vacation.
Jay:  Unbelievable. Three weeks on the job and taking time off.
Matt:  IKR?  Leaves me without a day off until April 6th.
Jay:  We have to change our show time.
Matt:  Schmoop will be sad not to have me home all day Sunday.
Jay and Matt:   Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Jay:  Man, I tell ya.  We give a lot to the folks, and what do we get in return?
Matt:  Heartache.
Jay:  Yep, but…
Matt:  The show must go on.
Jay:  Even though we have to change our busy schedules in order to entertain the masses.
Matt:  The things we do for people.

Jay:  Oh well…I’m sure that Bobby Kraft and Joshua will help us out.
Matt:  Paul Piatt, Slyder Balzcock, and Tammy Tibbles can pitch in as well.
Jay:  We can talk Ukraine and March Madness.

Matt:  We can talk British Daylight Saving Time and Iowa GOP U.S. Senate candidate Joni Ernst.

Jay:  I hear she grew up castrating hogs.
Matt:  That’s what all of the boys down at the Soda Shop say.

Jay:  That’s HOT.

Matt:  Hey, I have a question…Back in the day when you worked at the pizza joint, did it irritate you to get calls asking what specials you had?

Jay:  Oh hell yes…You’re busy and wasting time on the phone.
Matt:  We could call local pizza joints and do just that.
Jay:  Ha. Brilliant, and…We could call not so local pizza joints!!

Matt:  Ha!!  Brilliant!!

Jay:  And maybe, just maybe…Folks could give back a little love to us, and call in.
Matt:  It’s the least they could do for two givers such as us.
Jay:  Damn Right!!

Matt:  I guess we’re set.
Jay:  Yep.  This Sunday from 8-10 P.M. ET on IWS Radio.
Matt:  We are gonna give some more yet again.  Talk to you then Jayman.
Jay:  Word.  Byeeeeeeeeeeee.

To catch the All Give and No Take episode of IWS Radio LIVE this Sunday from 8-10 PM ET, click right HERE!!    

Making Things and Spring Happen

Not only did we all Spring Forward, well everyone except some weirdoes in Indiana and Arizona, but IWS Radio brought the funny this week as we Forced Spring to start a little early. And I think it worked too because there wasn’t any of the winter doldrums on this week’s IWS Radio. It was non-stop fun and excitement.

Well, there were some less that positive moments, but those weren’t because of any freezing weather, ice storms or gray gloomy skies. Jay did have to discuss the ordeal that has been attempting to get his laptop fixed. Oh it’s gonna get fixed, but it’s gonna cost THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS to do it.

We had a new sponsor this week too. The Black Sea Cruises offers some great deals on an amazing vacation in one of the most underrated vacation spots in the world. I don’t know about you guys, but I think vacationing on a cruise ship in the Black Sea near the Crimean coast sounds like a great idea!

There has been a bit of infighting at IWS lately and some of it has spilled over into the show. Last week we had Paul Piatt selling out and Kirk Douglas took a couple of cheap shots at Guy Ahnerdyck and Bobby Kraft. Well, Bobby and Guy both responded this week in their own special ways.

Speaking of which, shout out to Guy Ahnurdyck for winning a Dutchie! The first IWS correspondent to win a major award! Congrats Guy!!

After a couple of passive-aggressive swipes at Kirk, Bobby gave everyone some great advice on preparing for Tornado Season. Make sure you have a pen and paper handy cause you’ll want to take notes!

Once again Aunt Jackie rocked the house! This week she covered Thin Lizzy’s “The Boys are Back in Town!” It was awesome! Thanks Jaxxx!!

Martin was along to provide us with a great springtime meditation. We were all so relaxed I wasn’t sure we would be able to finish the show!

Stubby Stonehenge showed off his literary flexibility by sitting in for Paul Piatt in the Poet’s Corner this week. He was really great. I bet you’ll be surprised.

And sweet, lovable, adorable Schmoop stopped by to entertain us with her own brand of happy spring thoughts about Matt’s new “get to spend more time at home” schedule.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand soooooo much more! We rocked and rolled through the whole show once again this week. I don’t know what has gotten into us, but IWS Radio is on a real roll lately. Definitely check it out!

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Exotic and Mysterious Omaha Nebraska

Located on a bend in the Missouri River on the far eastern edge of Nebraska and spreading out across the windswept plains of the great American Midwest farmland is one of the more surprising cities in the U.S. Omaha is home to around 450,000 of the most sensible, decent and friendliest people you’ll ever meet.

Over the past half-century or so Omaha has transformed itself from a small cow town that was home to the largest stockyards in the world to a surprisingly ethnically and racially diverse (Omaha gave us both Gerald Ford and Malcolm X, how opposite are those two?) modern American city that is home to such “old economy” giants as Union Pacific Railroad and ConAgra Foods and “new economy” companies like Ameritrade and Pay Pal. It’s also home to the Gallup Corp and is a major insurance center. At the top of the heap is, of course Berkshire Hathaway. The company founded by one of the richest men in the world (and notorious cheapskate) Warren Buffett.

The ethnic diversity, led by the influx of immigrants from Europe and then African Americans is part of what gives Omaha its flavor. The north side with its Little Italy, Greek Town and other ethnic neighborhoods, is the center of that diversity. This has also resulted in a rather astonishing 700 plus restaurants, pubs and specialty markets scattered throughout the city.

Omaha also does not disappoint in the area of cultural activities either. From the Omaha Symphony to numerous concerts and sporting events to the largest community theater in the country, founded in part by Marlon Brando’s mother (who encouraged a teenage Henry Fonda to go into acting when he was performing in plays at the Omaha Community Playhouse), there is always something going on there. In addition to that there is the North Omaha Music Scene known for its rich history of jazz and blues music.

Just south of the downtown area is Offutt Air Force Base. Offutt is the longtime home of the Strategic Air Command and the 55th Wing. The wing’s mission is to provide worldwide reconnaissance, real-time intelligence, command and control, information warfare and combat support to U.S. leaders and commanders. These are the men and women who stood watch over this big, fat, dumb, happy country throughout the darkest days of the cold war and continue to do so today in the Global War on Terror™. It’s also home to the Strategic Air Command Museum.

Now I know what you are saying. You’re saying “We are talking about Nebraska here, right? The state that gave us Larry the Cable Guy? The state with miles and miles and miles of corn fields? The state where they brag that ‘there’s nothing between us and the arctic circle but four barbed wire fences and some moose’?”

Yup, that state.

Oh sure, the weather there pretty much sucks. Their only two seasons are tornado and blizzard. Most of the drivers slow down when approaching intersections even if the light is green, because IT MIGHT turn yellow and it would be rude to run a yellow light. And the drivers maintain a reasonable speed of 44.9 miles per hour when the speed limit is 45 on a wide open road because “it was set at 45 for a reason and that’s the safe speed.” And Omaha is a place where wearing a Hawaiian shirt would be considered a bit showy.

If you’ve never been to the American Midwest it’s really hard to explain it to you. They’re just different there. They believe that local is better and do their best to hold national chains at arm’s length. Seriously, why is that people go on vacation and eat at the same national chains that they eat at when they are home? You guys do realize that those places suck, right? Applebees, Chilis, TGIF McFunsters, whatever. They are the scourge of the American culinary scene. Not to mention the fact that Omaha is a city that believes that sure there’s lots of unique dining experiences available to you and some really fancy gourmet places, but sometimes it’s okay to just go out and get a really good, juicy steak cooked medium rare and some potatoes with none of those boring vegetables to get in the way.

Anyway, it’s kind of nice to know that the Midwest is still there and it really hasn’t changed all that much. There’s genuineness to the place and the people there. Residents of Omaha are quick with a smile and a good firm handshake. And when they look you in the eye and ask you how you are doing, they really want to know HOW you are doing. And people who believe that it’s okay to just be a regular person. And, you know what? They may be onto something there.

So, if you ever get the chance to travel through the Midwest, don’t just race through. Take some time to stop and meet the locals and look around. You might be pleasantly surprised with what you find.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
My Facebook
@Jayman_IWS 

In other news, IWS Radio made its triumphant return on Sunday after a week off and it was a doozy! Matt and Jay talked about their Thanksgiving experiences. Jay with all of his all-natural organic turkey and side items and Matt with his highly processed turkey and canned and boxed sides. Also, Jay talked about the car trouble he experienced on his way to Omaha.

Then it came time to enter into battle in the War on Christmas. Matt and Jay took sides with, well, both sides kind of. Mostly they agreed that they don’t understand it. Also chiming in was Paul Piatt, Rev Moneymaker, Bobby Kraft, Joey Goodbar and we got a Black Friday report from Dusty Sandman. Plus our favorite Canadian Jamie called in! Check it out! 

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Vacation is an Adventure

Hola y’all! Well, I did it! I took a 24 hour vacation from reality. Lots of people tried to stop me from making it by posting political shit on Facebook and Twitter and whathaveyou, but I just ignored it and went about my business. I didn’t go to any news or political sites and I didn’t read through my “News and Politics” list on Twitter.

GO ME!!

I’m sure you guys are all wondering what I did on my little break from reality. Well I tell ya what.  I spent most of my time thinking about some great adventures that I might go on!

I looked into the possibility of going to clown college and maybe joining a circus so I could travel all over the country bringing joy and happiness to kids of all ages…

But, then I remembered that clowns are creepy as hell so I rejected that idea. Next I thought about running off to Vegas and becoming a blackjack dealer …

That doesn’t seem too bad except that you have to deal with the general public in that job so that’s out too. How ‘bout running off to Vegas and becoming a professional blackjack player? I could play at her table every night…

Hit me baby! This one has promise if my math skills are good enough. It’ll be close. If I want a REAL adventure though, I could run off and join the French Foreign Legion …

Whoa! What a wild time that would be. Well, until I got killed in some faraway desert and buried in an unmarked grave. That would probably happen on like the second day too. Okay, screw that idea. I know! I’ll become the next James Bond 007 …

Heh. Another profession that would only last a day or so. Maybe I’m dreaming too big. I guess I’ll just stay home and create my own adventure. Like maybe I’ll sign up at Heathcare.gov and see what’s what when it comes to Obamacare…

Oh well. So much for adventure.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook
@Jayman_IWS 

A Vacation Sounds Like a Brilliant Idea!

Hola y’all! Yesterday Matt-Man told everyone about his bigvacation plans this Saturday. Well, let me to you what folks! I’m going on vacation too! Hell yes! My vacation is gonna be a little different from Matt’s though.

I don’t have any big plans to grab a hot babe like Schmoop and have a decadent breakfast buffet. I don’t have any plans to just kick back and drink beer and watch football all day either. Wait, I might do that. We’ll see. I don’t plan on going out of town, getting a room at a fancy hotel, ordering room service and then making it rain sprinkle on a single mama down at the strip gentlemen’s club. Although that does sound like a nice evening out, amirite? I’m not doing any of that stuff.

I’m taking a vacation from reality for 48 hours.

Damn right! At the very moment that this blog post goes live, I will be deleting the “News and Politics” list on my Twitter and ignoring everything that is going on. I won’t turn on the news or the cable news channels either. I won’t even listen to ANY podcasts just in case someone on one of them mentions reality.

I’m not going to check any of the news or political websites either. Nor will I turn on the radio. Not even sports radio because those bastards always love to sneak in political shit. I’m not going to watch, read or listen to anything that might piss me off or make me sad. This includes assholes on social media. Anyone tweets or posts something to Facebook that is stupid or pisses me off gets unfollowed, defriended or put on mute for the remainder of my vacation.

What am I going to do with my free time you ask? Well, I’m going to watch YouTube videos, read and watch “Breaking Bad” or something on Netflix. If I happen upon some news or political shit by accident, I will offset it by kitten and puppy videos and pictures. That’s the only antidote out there.

Hell if worse comes to worse I’ll even watch some playoff baseball. JUST KIDDING! Baseball sucks. I’m sure I’ll find plenty of things to keep me distracted from all the terrible news happening all over the world. In fact, I highly recommend that everyone take a 48 vacation from reality too. I’m sure you’ll love it. And, if YOU are on vacation too, you’re much less likely to say or do something that pisses me off. See how great this works?

Now that I think about it, some fast food might be in order during my vacation. I might have to run through McDonalds and get a number six with no onions. Oh wait, they changed their menu so I don’t know which number is for the double cheeseburger anymore. This is a perfect time to find out! Or maybe I’ll try out those new Satisfries at Burger King! No, I better not. Nothing would suck more than being on vacation and trying some new-fangled french fries and hate them so strike that off the list. Maybe I’ll just have me a few beers too. A few Coors Lights would definitely help me get away from reality for a couple of nights.

As I mentioned earlier referencing Matt’s vacation of watching football, I might do that too. Since we’re doing the show on Saturday instead of Sunday, I might take a second vacation from reality on Sunday. I might just sleep late, have a frozen pizza for lunch and then drink beer and watch NFL all afternoon and completely and total ignore the entire rest of the world for the whole day.  Oh damn! That sounds brilliant.

I’m totally taking TWO vacations this week!

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook
@Jayman_IWS

I'm Going to be on Vacation!!

Cheeeeeeeeeeeers Chuckleheads and a Happy Monday to you all!!

You know…for a long time I have worked hard, minded my own business, and done right by the Lord six days a week for five years, but guess what?

This coming Saturday, October 12th?

I have the entire day off.

Damn right.  For the first time in four months, this coming Saturday, I have a Saturday off, and you know what?

It’s going to be the Saturday of Matt.

I am looking for suggestions in order to make my Saturday off a complete mind blowing 24 hours off.

I will tell you, first of all, I am taking my BFF/OSP Schmoop out to breakfast to the Frisch’s breakfast bar which in itself, is a huge accomplishment.

You see…

Schmoop doesn’t like to mix and meddle amongst the unwashed masses.  She hates people, including herself. Which should make our rare time dining together, an utmost pleasurable experience.

After breakfast, I think I will just come home and either evacuate my colon if need be, or watch some news. FOX News that is, and if worlds are in junction, I will take a shit while listening to FOX News.

FOX and Friends Weekends brings out the best in me, and I appreciate it.  Thanks Clayton.  Thanks Tucker. Thanks Blonde Bimbo of the Week!!

Seriously though?

I don’t want this one rare Saturday off to be about nothing but eating, drinking, watching college football, and having sex with Schmoop while imagining her to be a college cheerleader.

Or do I?

You know…that doesn’t sound too bad.

Of course, if that’s my plan, I will have to eat the hell out of the eggs and bacon at the Frisch’s breakfast buffet. Need some protein.

A lot of protein.  In fact, knowing Schmoop as she is, A LOT of protein.

And then, dig it…

Jayman and I were considering taking a week off from the IWS Radio show, but guess what?  We’re still going to do one.

Yep….This Saturday October 12th from 11 AM ET until whenever, we are going to fly by the seats of our pants and talk trash.

We are not going to prepare.  We are not going to hone a pre-show rhythm.  We are just going to let it floooooow.

Man…It may not mean much to you all, but having an entire Saturday off is like hitting the lottery, and I can’t wait until this coming Saturday.

Breakfast with Schmoop.  Radio with Jay.  College football, beer, greasy snacks, and a little somethin' somethin'?

I don’t get that often.  And let me tell ya…

I can’t wait.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

In other news…IWS Radio put on another award winning radio show yesterday.  A cast of thousands were there including Jaaaaaaaamie, Sanni, and Schmoop.  So…

Give it a listen dammit!!

Help With Facebook Comments

Hola y’all! You know, social media can be pretty complicated, especially Facebook. Some people post so often and such a variety of stuff that sometimes you just don’t know what to say in the comments. Sure, the vast majority of the time all you need to do is “like” someone’s status update, but sometimes it’s necessary to actually say something.

So, I’ve decided to make a list of comments that you can just copy and paste as needed. This way you don’t have to stop and think of something to say and can keep on scrolling and sending out game requests…

- FAKE!

- Oh BullSHIT!

- Eww

- Well if it’s on the internet, it MUST be true.

- How YOU doin’ huh baby?

- LOL!

- My deepest condolences to you and your family.

- Outstanding! You really nailed the contrast on that one.

- People! They’re the worst!

- What a cute kid!

- You're a hot mess! 

- Congrats!

- WTF is wrong with him/her? (Editor’s Note: You’ll almost ALWAYS use “him” in this reply.)

- Oh that’s a bummer!

- That looks delicious!

- Woo-Hoo!

- That’s hot.

- Nice legs.

- Way to go!

- Loser

- You know what? Fuck you!

- Passive aggressive post is passive aggressive.

- HA! Well done!

- Nice Ass

- Fuck that.

- I love you.

- It’s always something, isn’t it?

- Do I know you?

Well, there you go. This should cover most situations for ya. You’re welcome.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

In other news, on IWS we talked about travelling, road trips, summer fun and more this week! We also checked in with Party Marty up in Put In Bay, Ohio, Billy the Kid down at the Beer Mine, and then a special call from Seal Coat Guy! Totally check out the Ratchet Summer Show!

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