Nebraska, Santa Claus and Homeless Scott Stapp

Wooooo-Weeeeeee! What a show this week on IWS Radio! What made it special was there was absolutely no show prep whatsoever. Matt and Jay knew what the topic would be, but that was it. Needless to say Matt-Man and Jayman’s professionalism and raw talent won out and the end result was yet another EPIC show! What did they talk about? Welllllllll …..

Jay talked about some of the highlights of his annual Thanksgiving trip to Omaha, Nebraska

Things got off to a slow start with shortages of extra crispy chicken, slaw, ham and bourbon made in Iowa.

Then things improved dramatically with trips to local brew pubs, Thanksgiving dinner, apple pie and the assembling of storage units.

Matt-Man had a fried bologna sandwich.

The drive home from Nebraska was brutal with heavy traffic and debris in the road.

Schmoop made delicious Thanksgiving lasagna.

Jay found out about “no boil” noodles this week. Matt is skeptical.

Black Friday is stupid and needs to stop.

Arkansas and Notre Dame both lost, but there was a wide difference between the two teams effort and attitude at the end of the season.

Nobody likes Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly. Not even his own players.

Matt and Jay made fun of a homeless guy. Sure, it was Scott Stapp, but still they made fun of a homeless guy.

Took sides in the War on Christmas.

Made fun of Gretchen Carlson who got into Stanford.

Took a little trip down memory lane and heard from Kim Frageelay.

Heard from Bobby Kraft and his thoughts on the Holidays.

Brought on Canadian Bureau Chief Jamie Mapleleaf to preview the Grey Cup and announce our support for the Hamilton Tiger-Cats!

And soooooooooooooo much more! Definitely check it out!

                               

Exotic and Mysterious Omaha Nebraska

Located on a bend in the Missouri River on the far eastern edge of Nebraska and spreading out across the windswept plains of the great American Midwest farmland is one of the more surprising cities in the U.S. Omaha is home to around 450,000 of the most sensible, decent and friendliest people you’ll ever meet.

Over the past half-century or so Omaha has transformed itself from a small cow town that was home to the largest stockyards in the world to a surprisingly ethnically and racially diverse (Omaha gave us both Gerald Ford and Malcolm X, how opposite are those two?) modern American city that is home to such “old economy” giants as Union Pacific Railroad and ConAgra Foods and “new economy” companies like Ameritrade and Pay Pal. It’s also home to the Gallup Corp and is a major insurance center. At the top of the heap is, of course Berkshire Hathaway. The company founded by one of the richest men in the world (and notorious cheapskate) Warren Buffett.

The ethnic diversity, led by the influx of immigrants from Europe and then African Americans is part of what gives Omaha its flavor. The north side with its Little Italy, Greek Town and other ethnic neighborhoods, is the center of that diversity. This has also resulted in a rather astonishing 700 plus restaurants, pubs and specialty markets scattered throughout the city.

Omaha also does not disappoint in the area of cultural activities either. From the Omaha Symphony to numerous concerts and sporting events to the largest community theater in the country, founded in part by Marlon Brando’s mother (who encouraged a teenage Henry Fonda to go into acting when he was performing in plays at the Omaha Community Playhouse), there is always something going on there. In addition to that there is the North Omaha Music Scene known for its rich history of jazz and blues music.

Just south of the downtown area is Offutt Air Force Base. Offutt is the longtime home of the Strategic Air Command and the 55th Wing. The wing’s mission is to provide worldwide reconnaissance, real-time intelligence, command and control, information warfare and combat support to U.S. leaders and commanders. These are the men and women who stood watch over this big, fat, dumb, happy country throughout the darkest days of the cold war and continue to do so today in the Global War on Terror™. It’s also home to the Strategic Air Command Museum.

Now I know what you are saying. You’re saying “We are talking about Nebraska here, right? The state that gave us Larry the Cable Guy? The state with miles and miles and miles of corn fields? The state where they brag that ‘there’s nothing between us and the arctic circle but four barbed wire fences and some moose’?”

Yup, that state.

Oh sure, the weather there pretty much sucks. Their only two seasons are tornado and blizzard. Most of the drivers slow down when approaching intersections even if the light is green, because IT MIGHT turn yellow and it would be rude to run a yellow light. And the drivers maintain a reasonable speed of 44.9 miles per hour when the speed limit is 45 on a wide open road because “it was set at 45 for a reason and that’s the safe speed.” And Omaha is a place where wearing a Hawaiian shirt would be considered a bit showy.

If you’ve never been to the American Midwest it’s really hard to explain it to you. They’re just different there. They believe that local is better and do their best to hold national chains at arm’s length. Seriously, why is that people go on vacation and eat at the same national chains that they eat at when they are home? You guys do realize that those places suck, right? Applebees, Chilis, TGIF McFunsters, whatever. They are the scourge of the American culinary scene. Not to mention the fact that Omaha is a city that believes that sure there’s lots of unique dining experiences available to you and some really fancy gourmet places, but sometimes it’s okay to just go out and get a really good, juicy steak cooked medium rare and some potatoes with none of those boring vegetables to get in the way.

Anyway, it’s kind of nice to know that the Midwest is still there and it really hasn’t changed all that much. There’s genuineness to the place and the people there. Residents of Omaha are quick with a smile and a good firm handshake. And when they look you in the eye and ask you how you are doing, they really want to know HOW you are doing. And people who believe that it’s okay to just be a regular person. And, you know what? They may be onto something there.

So, if you ever get the chance to travel through the Midwest, don’t just race through. Take some time to stop and meet the locals and look around. You might be pleasantly surprised with what you find.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
My Facebook
@Jayman_IWS 

In other news, IWS Radio made its triumphant return on Sunday after a week off and it was a doozy! Matt and Jay talked about their Thanksgiving experiences. Jay with all of his all-natural organic turkey and side items and Matt with his highly processed turkey and canned and boxed sides. Also, Jay talked about the car trouble he experienced on his way to Omaha.

Then it came time to enter into battle in the War on Christmas. Matt and Jay took sides with, well, both sides kind of. Mostly they agreed that they don’t understand it. Also chiming in was Paul Piatt, Rev Moneymaker, Bobby Kraft, Joey Goodbar and we got a Black Friday report from Dusty Sandman. Plus our favorite Canadian Jamie called in! Check it out! 

New Comedy Podcasts with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

Matt Said, Jay Said...1.38

Matt Coughs...Jay Sneezes...You reach for the Hand Sanitizer

Jay:  Hola and hello.
Matt:  Dude, you sound awful.
Jay:  I would tell you that I feel awful, but I don’t like to burden my friends.
Matt:  Even drugged up and sick, you are still a selfless human being.
Jay:  I know right?

Matt:  Hey I just checked BTR, last week’s show is now #3 in all of entertainment.
Jay:  I would be excited about that if I weren't on the death’s doorstep.
Matt:  Suck it up, man!!
Jay:  Alright, alright…so this Sunday? What’s the topic?
Matt:  Well…much like you next week, millions of Americans will gearing up for the holidays.

Jay:  Yeah…I’ll be heading to Nebraska for a wonderful Thanksgiving week.
Matt:  Yep…Thanksgiving annnnd...Hanukkah begins on Thanksgiving this year.
Jay:  I wonder what, if anything, Jews eat when that happens.
Matt:  I dunno.  Turkey is kosher isn't it?
Jay:  I think so.  I’m pretty sure they serve it in the finer Jewish delis.
Matt:  A Jewish Thanksgiving, there has to be some yuks yuks talking about that.

Jay:  True…And we could talk about personal prepping for all of the upcoming holidays.
Matt:  Sounds good…I bet Giada De Laurentiis turns turkey day into a Broadway type event.
Jay:  Maybe in most years, I thi---
Matt:  Most years?
Jay:  Yeah I hear she and hubby Todd are kinda on the outs.
Matt:  Really?
Jay:  Oh hell yeah and our staff has exclusive access to some pretty salacious audio of the couple.
Matt:  Sweet!!
Jay:  We’ll definitely debut that this Sunday.

Matt:  Awesome.  I hear Buddy Acapella has a new holiday song out.
Jay:  He’s amazing.  Dixie Ozark is going to be on hand as well.
Matt:  Love Her!!  Stubby Stonehenge has some little known facts about Nebraska to share.
Jay:  I’ll need to know those before I get there.  And you know what else I’ll need?
Matt:  What’s that?
Jay:  Some Meditations by Martin to keep me calm during my travels.

Matt:  Sounds as though this is going to be a laugh packed show.
Jay:  Made only funnier by the fact that we’ll be calling the Butterball Help Line.
Matt:  Along with Butterball we have a new seasonal sponsor as well.
Jay:  Holy Cow, this is HUGE!!

Matt:  I know right?
Jay:  If folks don’t listen to IWS Radio LIVE tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET they’re wacko.
Matt:  And un-American.
Jay:  I think we’re ready.
Matt:  God Bless American and Green Bean Casserole!!
Jay:  Uuch, I think I’m feeling sick again.

To listen to the IWS Radio Show LIVE tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET, click HERE.   

It's About to Get Hectic ... For Some People

Hola y’all! Well, the election is almost a week old and it’s time for us all to move on to new things to obsess over. For most of us that will be the rapidly approaching Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas and Kwanzaa holidays. There may be a few others in there that I missed. Unless you’re the Secretary of State of Arizona cause that dude’s still got a lot of work to do since there are FOUR HUNDRED EIGHTY-FIVE THOUSAND ballots still to be counted there. What the hell are they doing out there? Working on their winter tans?

And of course David Petraeus has a few other things to worry about too. Like keeping all of his mistresses from getting into a huge cat fight. You’d think all those years of dealing with warring factions in Afghanistan would have given him the training he needed to handle some crazy chicks. Worse than that he now has to sleep on the couch with one eye open every night. You think he was already paranoid about how dangerous the world was? I guarantee you he’s far more worried about what Mrs. Petraeus might do to him.

And then there’s me. It’s not my style to brag or anything, but I don’t have to worry so much about the “hectic holiday season” like so many of you guys. I don’t have any kids (that I know of) so I don’t have to put with them asking “When is Santa coming?” every day. I don’t have a big family to buy for so I don’t need to make long lists and go on big shopping trips.

Since I never get invited to any holiday parties, I don’t have to worry about keeping my social calendar straight. Yup, I’m a simple man living a simple life. I’ll be kicked back, eating Christmas cookies and drinking Shiner Holiday Cheer Beer while you guys are wearing yourselves out trying to get everything done and juggle all your school, family and social obligations.

Hell, I even stopped sending out Christmas Cards because it was too much of a hassle. It took me all afternoon to address all the envelopes and I can still taste the glue from having to seal all of those things. I still have a Word Document with everyone’s address though. The only thing I use it for is to put your addresses into Google Street View and get a look at your houses. That’s pretty much the laziest stalking ever right there.

We’ve got a lot great stuff planned for the blog and the IWS Podcast for the holidays though. Okay, not really. I just said that because I starting to look a little pathetic there. Although I’m not sure what I’m worried about, this post is already four times longer than Matt’s post for yesterday was. Shit, I’m really worried about getting old after reading that one!

Anyway, the only thing I have on my holiday schedule is my annual trip to lovely, mysterious and exotic Omaha, Nebraska to hang out with my sister and brother in law. This Saturday, I’ll load up the car, check the air in the tires and make the 431 mile drive north to the Jewel of the Midwest for Thanksgiving week.

While I’m there and before things get crazy, I’ll do the bit of Christmas shopping that I’m not doing online. So, when I get home a week later all I have to do is get the already put together and mostly decorated fake Christmas Tree out of the closet and put it on the table and all my Christmas decorating will be done. After that, all I have to do is plan when I’m going to make the Christmas fudge and that’s it.

See? It’s a simple time of year folks.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS