Vacation is an Adventure

Hola y’all! Well, I did it! I took a 24 hour vacation from reality. Lots of people tried to stop me from making it by posting political shit on Facebook and Twitter and whathaveyou, but I just ignored it and went about my business. I didn’t go to any news or political sites and I didn’t read through my “News and Politics” list on Twitter.

GO ME!!

I’m sure you guys are all wondering what I did on my little break from reality. Well I tell ya what.  I spent most of my time thinking about some great adventures that I might go on!

I looked into the possibility of going to clown college and maybe joining a circus so I could travel all over the country bringing joy and happiness to kids of all ages…

But, then I remembered that clowns are creepy as hell so I rejected that idea. Next I thought about running off to Vegas and becoming a blackjack dealer …

That doesn’t seem too bad except that you have to deal with the general public in that job so that’s out too. How ‘bout running off to Vegas and becoming a professional blackjack player? I could play at her table every night…

Hit me baby! This one has promise if my math skills are good enough. It’ll be close. If I want a REAL adventure though, I could run off and join the French Foreign Legion …

Whoa! What a wild time that would be. Well, until I got killed in some faraway desert and buried in an unmarked grave. That would probably happen on like the second day too. Okay, screw that idea. I know! I’ll become the next James Bond 007 …

Heh. Another profession that would only last a day or so. Maybe I’m dreaming too big. I guess I’ll just stay home and create my own adventure. Like maybe I’ll sign up at Heathcare.gov and see what’s what when it comes to Obamacare…

Oh well. So much for adventure.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
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@Jayman_IWS 

Little Known Facts About Obamacare

Hola kids! So, as you probably know by now, that long-haired hippie John Roberts and his left-wing wacko friends on the Supreme Court ruled the Affordable Care Act, better known as Obamacare, constitutional. Well, that’s just great. Now a bunch of undeserving poor people will get free healthcare. Just add that to the list of shit they get that’s paid for by decent, hardworking, God-loving Americans. I can’t believe how freaking great poor people have it. Bastards.

Anyway, after a little research I found some little known benefits of Obamacare that I thought you guys should know about.

- To hold costs down, all world famous internet radio stars can set up their own mammogram testing center in their homes. Also, the FDA says it’s okay if women want to just take pics of their breasts and email them to the radio stars for clinical inspection.

- Food safe gloves will be tax deductible. I was especially happy to find this little nugget.

- Obamacare specifically lists masturbation is a way to stay physically and emotionally healthy. Therefore, trips to strip clubs and tickets to Magic Mike will also be tax deductible.

- Colonoscopies for everyone! Two a year for the 10% of people who enjoy them.

- Doctors now legally prohibited from staring any sentence with “At your age …” or “You’re getting to be that age where …”

- Nurses now must go back to wearing the tight white dress with the stockings that have the seam running up the back of the legs and the cute little nurse’s hat.

- Asking someone “Hot enough for ya?” is now considered a medical question and may not be asked by anyone not working in the medical profession.

- “Laughter is the best medicine” is now a legitimate medical prescription. Doctors will be encouraged to require their patients suffering a wide variety of physical and emotional ailments to listen to the I’m With Stupid podcast.

- Walking up to random women, dropping your pants, pointing to your penis and asking “Does this look infected?” will continue to be illegal. Sorry guys.

- You will be able to submit names to your local Death Panel online 24/7. The Death Panels will meet on Tuesdays and Thursdays each week to consider who to send “to the showers” as Hitler would say.

- You no longer have to worry about eating right, staying active or having unprotected sex. You’re covered!

As you can see, Obamacare means a lot of changes. It’s going to take some getting used, but I’m sure that if we all pull together as country as we always do, we’ll get through this and be a better society for it!

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS


P.S. Not to be bother or anything, but did we mention that former Food Network marketing exec Carrie Welch who now runs Little Green Pickle will be our guest on IWS this Sunday? Well, she will be!!! And you can tune in at 12 Noon ET to listen! And, if you have any questions for Carrie, just send them to us and we’ll do our best to work them into the show.

How exciting is that?