Matt Said, Jay Said XXI

Matt pale…Jay pale…You, koute.

Matt:  Hellro?
Jay:  Hellooooooo?
Matt and Jay:  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Matt:  How the hell are ya?
Jay:  Oh fine.  I actually slept through the night last night.
Matt:  That’s good.  You still sound plugged up n’shit.
Jay:  I’ll muddle through.  I’m a trooper.
Matt:  Indeed you are.  How’s the ear, van Gogh?
Jay: Better…it only feels like there is a needle in it, once in awhile.

Matt:  So what topic should we bastardize on the show this Sund---
Jay:  Oh no way…
Matt:  What?
Jay:  Geraldo Rivera just said that Trayvon Martin’s wearing of the hoodie was just as responsible for his death as George Zimmerman was.
Matt:  Ha. Funny.
Jay:  No, he really did.
Matt:  What the fuck?  Oh dear God, Rivera is a moron, and in this case, a douchebag as well.

Jay:  Following that logic, the scorn and ridicule cast upon Rick Santorum is due to him wearing sweater vests.
Matt:  Well…It is, partially.
Jay:  Okay, bad analogy.
Matt:  So what we be talking about this Sunday?

Jay:  Well I have several ideas…most of them infantile.
Matt:  Those are the best ones.
Jay:  We can do the Asian Celebration Show…The Hangover Show which we have talked about, or…
Matt:  You sound excited; lay it on me.
Jay:  We could do…are you sitting down?
Matt: No, but go ahead.
Jay:  The Hunger Games Show!!
Matt:  Holy Crap!!  You are a fricking marketing genius.
Jay:  I KNOW, Right!?

Matt: We could talk about the foods and…
Jay:  And other stuff we hunger for.
Matt:  Mmmmmmm…like Tyra Banks.
Jay:  And Tammmmmmra
Matt:  And an obscenely large pizza fully loaded.
Jay:  That’s HOT!!

Matt:  We’ll take your idea, let our show hits coattail on the movie, and talk about what we hunger for in life.
Jay:  Sometimes I hunger for myself when I am this brilliant.
Matt:  We all hunger for you.
Jay:  As I sensed some sarcasm in that reply, we should end our show prep, sine die.
Matt:  Otay, but make sure you wish your Mom a Happy Birthday for me on Saturday.
Jay:  Alright.

Matt:  I’m going to send her a heartfelt birthday wish via e-mail tomorrow as well.
Jay:  You sick fuck.
Matt:  What?

Jay:  You will refrain from being gross and creepy, right?

Matt:  Jay, it’s me, Matt-Man…c’mon.
Jay:  Uh-huh.  Later dude…time to watch Alex Wagner’s eyebrows.
Matt:  Okay Hot Shot.
Jay:  “click, click, click”

Make sure you catch Jayman and Matt-Man Sunday at Noon ET on Blog Talk Radio, as they discuss The Hunger Games.  To listen live, click HERE, and as always, share your hunger pangs with them, by calling in at 661.244.9852.

Matt Said...Jay Said XX

Matt nämnda…Jay nämnda…Du, Lyssnar

Jay:  Helllllooooooo?  Helllllllooooo?
Matt:  Yeah, I’m here.
Jay:  There’s this chick from Ghana who wants to be my friend on Facebook.  Her name is Alphonsa Demolay.
Matt:  Well, did you friend her back?
Jay:  Not yet, I smell something suspicious.
Matt:  Does she have any other friends?
Jay:  No, just me.
Matt:  That is suspicious.

Jay:  Hey that chick you put on your Facebook page that is “Wearin’ the Green?”
Matt:  Yeah?  She’s hot isn’t she?
Jay:  Hot?  She’s disgusting!!
Matt:  What the hell?
Jay:  Dude, she looks like a defensive lineman for the Patriots, and those boobs?
Matt:  Gimme a brea---
Jay:  Those aren’t anywhere near real, and even if they are, they are way too big.  Freakish even.
Matt:  Are you saying you don’t like her?
Jay:  Oh I’m sure she’s a nice girl, but man, join the circus already.

Matt:  So what are we doing this Sunday on the show?
Jay:  I think we should do a show about stuff that makes us feel good.  Stuff that gives us the, “warm fuzzies.”
Matt:  That’s incredibly gay, but I have nothing on this end that is any better.
Jay:  Well…get something.  C’mon, you know down deep you are sensitive and caring.
Matt:  I used to be…but then I turned ten.
Jay:  Seriously it will be good…We’ll talk the entire time in reassuring, female NPR voices.
Matt:  That could be very soothing, which is good considering everyone listening will have a St. Patrick’s Day hangover.

Jay:  So…the warm and fuzzy feel good idea is a go?
Matt:  Yes, I am already thinking of things that make me feel good.
Jay:  Me too and I already posted this question to others on Facebook…“What makes you feel good?”
Matt:  Any feedback yet?
Jay:  Other than your crass, “Olive Oil and Tyra Banks” remark, the lovely Jo said, “Jay makes me feel good.”
Matt:  Mmmmmmmmmm, Jo.
Jay:  Back off.
Matt:  Easy fella.

Jay:  So we will do the “Feel Good Show” this Sunday, aight?
Matt:  That’s a big 10-4, Good Buddy.
Jay:  It will be a winner.
Matt:  As it always is.  Later…
Jay:  “click click click”  What?

And you can join us Sunday at Noon EDT for the Feel Good Show on Blog Talk Radio by clicking HERE and/or calling in at 661.244.9852.

Cheers!!

Matt Said, Jay Said XVII

Matt sgyrsiau, Jay sgyrsiau, You gwrando.

Matt: “Look, Tyra I told you it’s over. You gotta stop calling me.”
Jay: “Wha?”
Matt: “Oh it’s you.”
Jay: “Who did you expect?”
Matt: “Tyra Banks. Every couple of months she calls me begging me to take her back.”
Jay: “Poor Tyra.”
Matt: “I used to feel sorry for her, but she so needy.”
Jay: “Oh man. I hate that.”
Matt: “It’s just part of the struggle that is my life.”
Jay: “It ain’t easy being Matt.”
Matt: “True dat. True dat.”
Jay: “Mmmm-Hmmm”
Matt: “Yup”

Jay: “So how ya doing?”
Matt: “Awful. Just awful.”
Jay: “Awww. That sucks.”
Matt: “Yeah it does. This cold is kicking my ass.”
Jay: “It’s Al Gore’s fault.”
Matt: “How?”
Jay: “He created Global Warming. Warm winter means worse cold & flu season.”
Matt: “That fucking bastard.”
Jay: “I KNOW RIGHT? He totally caused this. I read it on the internet.”
Matt: “Well, I’d like to kick him in the balls.”
Jay: “He deserves it.”

Jay: “How’s the no bread thing going so far.”
Matt: “Not too bad. It’s early still though.”
Jay: “It’ll get old fast though.”
Matt: “True. How’s the walking and stuff going?”
Jay: “Not bad. Shoulders and arms are sore from the weights.”
Matt: “It’ll get better.”
Jay: “Hope so, I can barely type.”
Matt: “Do you listen to the theme from Rocky?”
Jay: “No, I listen to this: *plays “You make me feel like dancing” by Leo Sayer”
Matt: “Ha! Of course. And now I have to play that for Schmoop.”
Jay: “Folow it up with: *plays “Boogie Shoes” K.C & the Sunshine Band.”
Matt: “Okay, stop.”
Jay: “You don’t want to lay down the boogie and play that funky music White Boy?”
Matt: “Not at this time, no.”
Jay: “Okay, I guess.”

Matt: “So, we doing an 80’s Extravaganza this week?”
Jay: “Sounds like a great idea.”
Matt: “The 80’s so ruled.”
Jay: “Totally. Great memories!”
Matt: “Oh yeah. Great music, movies, hell, everything.”
Jay: “Wonderful time to be a live.”
Matt: “It was!”
Jay: “Okay, I’ll be so rad!”
Matt: “Totally awesome!”
Jay: “I’m stoked!”

So there you go. True genius as it happened in real time. More or less. And don’t forget to listen to our “80s Extravaganza” on Saturday at 11 PM ET on I’m With Stupid. It’s gonna be so awesome. Even more so if you’re there.

And, to get you into the mood, here is our Kick Ash Wednesday show that was really pretty freaking fun. We talked Ash Wednesday, Lent, Atheism, Veganism and all kinds of other stuff all while battling colds. We are true professionals and we do it all for YOU! 

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Only a Lindsay Lohan Lesbian Movie ...

Could have made this week any better.

Hola Bitches!

Well, it's been a pretty amazing week. Let's see what all happened.

The biggest news of the week was that the “I'm With Stupid” humor blog went live to great fanfare. We'd like to remind anyone who would like to be a regular or irregular contributor to the blog to let us know!

Former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman and his perfect hair, MAN those Mormons have great hair, announced he was officially running for the GOP nomination for president. His speech was so boring that even Fox News broke away from it to talk about suddenly exciting by comparison Tim T-Paw Pawlenty.

President Obama addressed the nation Wednesday night to talk about his plan to begin the slow draw down of troops in Afghanistan. He also ignored both his own lawyers and congress and pressed on with US support of bombing of Libya. Obama makes all these war decisions while stroking his Nobel Peace Prize.

The Cleveland Cavaliers made Duke's Kyrie Irving the number one over all selection in this year's NBA draft. You know LeBron James is really hated when people prefer a Duke guy to him.

One of the things we have found by going through the treasure trove of information that was grabbed during the Bin Laden raid is that Osama was thinking that Al Qaeda was in need of a rebranding effort including a name change. So, I thought I would propose some great new names:

Focus on the Jihad

Near Beer Bombers

Infidel Intifada

Westboro Baptist Caliphate

Al Qeada II: Electric Boogaloo

Beards and Bombs

And today we found out that Lindsay Lohan has once again showed off her superior intellect and knowledge of the law and has again avoided jail time. Good job Lindsay. But, I really wish you would get back to me on my screenplay idea. A movie about lesbians in prison and the various cliques. When Lindsay's character, Mona Lott, is accepted into the most exclusive clique, another girl, Joy Kill, played by Kate Upton plots her revenge by first seducing Mona and then all the other girls in the clique AND the prison warden played by Tyra Banks.

The movie is titled: Mean Womyn

Lindsay Kate and Tyra (for educational purposes of course):

I have no idea why Lindsay hasn't gotten back to me on that one.


Oh and one other thing. R.I.P. to Peter Falk. He starred as Columbo back in the day when they really knew how to make a good cop show...

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman_iws