IWS Person of the Week: Bum Wine Bob

Sometimes, in the course of human events, life can get a person down and leave him or her feeling blue, despondent, or…in need of a good head-thumpin’, liver cauterizing drunk, so…

Who better to help out those people in need than the man who will be our guest LIVE on the IWS Radio Show today, and our IWS Person of the Week, Bum Wine Bob…

The Bobcat (yes, he goes by many names) has devoted his life and his website bumwinebob.com to praising the medicinal and healing powers of much maligned wines and beers.  He knows that a Rose by any other name would smell or in this case, taste as sweet…

He is unafraid to take on the goodness that is Thunderbird knowing that in spite of its powerful side effects, he will the next morning, rise like a Phoenix from the ashes…

Bum Wine Bob has his softer side as well, as he occasionally will drink beverages from the chaff of the wheat rather than from the winded and withered grape of the vine…

For all the Bobcat does, we honor him as our IWS Person of the Week.  Here’s to you Bob…Long may your brown bag wave!!

For more of Bum Wine Bob, check out the IWS Radio Show LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.  Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players will be talking bum wine and fast food, because as we all know, nothing goes hand in hand better than a good drunk and greasy fast food.

Jay and Matt will be lighting up the tubes of the internet with laughter as they celebrate cheap eats, bad booze, and along with special guest Bum Wine Bob, take your phone calls at 661.244.9852.

So join us LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio as IWS presents the Eat, Drink and Be Cheap Fast and Easy episode.

To Listen Live click HERE.

Excuse Me; Could We Please Be Happy For A Second!?

Cheers!!  Greetings!!  And welcome to the IWS Radio website, and a happy Friday to you all.

This past week, Jay and I have been nothing but cynical, satirical, and sarcastic.

We have made fun of Ann Coulter, people with two first names, list makers, and Donald Sterling just to name a few…albeit Mr. Sterling has a last name that is not his actual last name, but it makes him happy, and we are all about the happy.

However, this week was a big downer, and not a very joyful week, so…

It’s time to shed the yoke of cynicism and sarcasm, have some fun, and delight in the joy that are the people who are good, and things that make me happy aside from Schmoop. Jayman, Jamie, my family, my IWS family, and what not…and by golly, I have a list.

Last night?  I had no clue as to what we should have for dinner, so?  I called up the Pizza King, Vic Cassano, and lo and behold, thirty minutes and $25.00 later, I had the best pizzas in the freaking world delivered to me.  I love Cassano’s Pizza.

And speaking of food, you know what else elicits a happy, happy joy, joy feeling into my digestive core being? SPAM.  Sure, people make fun of SPAM for being the non-meat, but let me tell ya, I LOVE it.  It is delicious, nutritious, and versatile.

Of course, when eating, one needs a beverage with which to wash all the deliciousness down, and what is my liquid of choice?  Steel Reserve.  The 211, Baby!!  I know, I know…that’s ghetto beer you say, but let me tell you…if hanging out with Malcolm in the projects at 2:15 PM and drinking a 211 is wrong?  I don’t want to be right.

I haven’t mentioned many people that I actually have love for, but here is a guy who is gold.  Nigel.

He lives with me, doesn't say much, and brought his own beer and smokes.  If someone shows up on your doorstep with those attributes, bring em’ on in.

As for other house guests?  I’m not a fan, however if I was to have one?  It would be Missalicious.

That chick has a whole lot of 5’3” hotness going on, and…She can always request to call me at 12:15 in AM demanding some venting time, and oh yeah, I listen.

Seriously though, just like all of the aforementioned things, I love the Miss and yeah, other than knowing her for 35 years, the reasons for my love for her are inexplicable, except for one…she makes me smile every time we talk.

And really?  That is all any of us needs.  Good food, good drink, and good people…Well…we all need one other thing, music...and that is where these guys come in.

Another group of people that I heart and always have is, The Cars.

Now that we have everything for a good time, I wish you a wonderful Friday, a wonderful weekend, and a wonderful life.  I hope to ‘see’ you on the radio Sunday as we continue this love fest, but until then…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
Matt on Twitter
Matt on Facebook

Stream of Haikuciousness...When Matt-Man Develops His Spontaneous Asian Side

Yesterday on the IWS website, Jayman posted an exquisitely done stream of consciousness post.  I mean…

It was so damn well done, that while the tears of James Joyce were falling from Heaven, Jayman was receiving a call from the Ted Cruz organization begging Jayman to be their filibuster writer from here on out.

So?  I thought I’d do a little stream of consciousness writing myself, however…

Just to mix it up a little, I thought I’d stream my consciousness in the form of haikus.

So here ya go, Matt-Man’s Stream of Haikusciousness…

This winter drags on
Will it end anytime soon?
I seriously doubt it.

This Steel Reserve
Is quite tasty and so warm,
Fuck Mother Nature.

I’m off this Sunday
Facebook friends better beware,
Ima gonna drink.

Sausage, toast, and eggs
That sounds incredibly good.
So much effort though.

I just lit a smoke
I take a deep drag, and smile
Newport Reds taste swell.

Lent is almost here
I need to give up something
Bread and pasta…Gone!!

My zipper is down
I find that extremely odd
Hands were typing keys.

I bet Kate Upton
Is really awful in bed
Not allowed to bite and mar her picture perfect tits.

My last Kate haiku
Did not follow haiku rules
Oh well…suck it, Kate.

Chicken nuggets, not eggs

eggs?

Nuggets are much less trouble.
Eggs may have to sit.

I just touched my dick.
No, I didn’t have an itch
I just wanted to.

Why do people judge?
Schmoop is sound asleep in bed
And I am horny.

Thank you, and have a great Thursday…I shall spend mine saying “5-7-5” to myself.

Today’s drawer at the Beer Mine is gonna be so fucked up.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Miller Brewing, Coors Brewing, and IWS Radio...A Tasty Match Made in Marketing Heaven

Happy Tuesday Chuckleheads!!

I hope that if you are currently staring down the business end of the heat and humidity gun of Mother Nature as we are here in Springfield, Ohio, you are muddling through the climatological (well, it’s a word now) steam bath comfortably.

It was pretty sultry here yesterday.

It wasn’t incredibly hot temp wise, 88 or so…but the humidity was high as well, which made for a yeast breeding, Gold Bond powder applied to the nether regions type of day for me at the Beer Mine.

Even though it was but a Monday, hundreds of folks, both over worked and out of work, dwelling within the Greater Bagwine Metroplex, drove through the Beer Mine (located at the corner of Elmore and Burnett Rd. across from Donato’s in Springfield, Ohio) delightfully demanded to purchase beer in order that their whistles might be whetted.

As a loud, proud, and sassy employee of said Beer Mine, I happily slung unto those with a powerful thirst, 30 Packs of Milwaukee’s Best Light, 6 Packs of Mickey’s Malt Liquor, and of course, 12 packs of Miller Lite and Coors Light.

And yes, in full disclosure…I sold plenty of beer put out by that other heavyweight in the field of beermanship that is now owned by a bunch of Belgian buttheads, whom I refer to as, “AB.”

If beer made with rice, makes you feel nice…then AB beer is your brand.  Whatever…and uuch!!

But…I digress.

All of the aforementioned beers are put out by MillerCoors, and let me tell you…

My number one fave beer is Mickey’s.  My number two beer and which runs the day to day operation of my liver, is Milwaukee’s Best Light, but due to the heat and the workout that our customers put me through yesterday?

After the work day was done, I needed to taste some of my friend and my mistress, so I bought two 24 ouncers of my ab fab favorite beer, Steel Reserve.

Steel Reserve is the kick ass-est of the High Gravity beers.  It is smooth, tasty, yet maintains the kick of what a high gravity beer should have.

That other brewery that I mentioned?  AB?  They too make a High Gravity beer.  It’s called Hurricane…They should have named it Tropical Depression, because it is weak and tastes like the runoff from a lackadaisical storm surge full of carp.

Steel Reserve is where it’s at my friends.  And you know what?

I think IWS Radio and MillerCoors make a good match.  I think they should advertise on our show and our website.  I mean, hell, between the two IWS venues, we reach some 75,000-90,000 people a month.

We have a Facebook and Twitter account that reaches thousands more, and…

Jayman and I not only love and drink their products, I sell them everyday!!  It’s a perfect marketing storm, and a win-win!!

If they were to come up with a paltry $3,000 we could advertise for them for an entire year.  IWS could go super premium on BTR, AND have money left over for giveaways promoting our show, website, and their products.

I think I am on to something, and let me tell you why.

I came up with this idea while drinking Steel Reserve, and you know why?

Because just like the 211 logo on the can, when I drink Steel Reserve, my IQ goes from 150 to 211 by the second sip.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
Matt-Man on Facebook

Matt's Top Fives

Cheer Bitches!!  Matt-Man here for IWS...

Now many of you know that Jayman did a series of lists yesterday highlighting his five top favorite things within a number of different categories of life, so...

Because he says that sharing this info is helpful in getting to know us, and well, it's an easy post to do...

I give you my five favorite things in many of the same categories that Jayman offered up yesterday.

Five Favorite Horror Movies:

1.  The Exorcist
2.  The Omen
3.  Dracula: Prince of Darkness (1966)
4.  Halloween
5.  The Screaming Skull (so bad, it’s good.)

Five Favorite TV Shows of All-Time:

1.  Seinfeld
2.  Fawlty Towers
3.  Star Trek (the original)
4.  Keeping Up Appearances
5.  M*A*S*H (the pre-Major Winchester years)

Five Favorite Comedy Movies:

1.  Napoleon Dynamite
2.  Young Frankenstein
3.  Airplane!
4.  Princess Bride
5.  Tommy Boy

Five Favorite Comedians:

1.  Chris Rock
2.  Denis Leary
3.  Joey Goodbar
4.  Steven Wright
5.  Andrew “Dice” Clay (see note for The Screaming Skull under Horror Movies)

Five Favorite Foods:

1.  Cheeseburgers/Loosemeat Sandwiches
2.  Liver and Onions (no, I’m not kidding)
3.  Pizza
4.  Crab Cakes
5.  Prime Rib…the rarer the better.

Five Favorite Beers:

1.  Steel Reserve
2.  Milwaukee’s Best Light
3.  Mickey’s Malt Liquor
4.  Amstel Light
5.  Harp

Five Favorite Vegetables:

1.  Potatoes
2.  Lima Beans
3.  Peas
4.  Carrots
5.  Spinach

Five Favorite Wines:

1.  Wild Irish Rose (Red)
2.  McWilliams Shiraz (2007)
3.  Wild Irish Rose (Wild Fruit with Ginseng)
4.  Gnarly Head
5.  Wild Irish Rose (Green Apple)

Five Favorite U.S. Presidents:

1.  James Madison
2.  Teddy Roosevelt
3.  Bill Clinton
4.  Thomas Jefferson
5.  Millard Fillmore

Five Favorite NFL Players of All-Time:

1.  John Riggins
2.  Anthony Munoz
3.  Darren Sproles
4.  Fred Cox
5.  Ken Stabler

Five Favorite Female Singers of All-Time:

1.  Dolores O’Riordan  (The Cranberries)
2.  Chrissie Hynde
3.  Dusty Springfield
4.  Pat Benatar
5.  Pink

Five Favorite Rock Bands of All-Time:

1.  The Cars
2.  Green Day
3.  Scorpions
4.  Lynyrd Skynyrd
5.  Moody Blues

What?  Neither Jayman nor I picked, The Beatles?  Fuck them…overrated Anglo hacks!!

Anyhoo…

Jayman and I covered the Chick-fil-A/Gay Marriage controversy on Blog Talk Radio Wednesday, and if you missed it live, you can catch all the hilarity and poignancy of our points by listening in archives via the BTR Fun Machine:

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com

@mattmaniws

You Know What's Wrong With This Country?

Well it was a rather amazing Thanksgiving here in Redneckville. Because of car problems and various other reasons, we had to stay here for Thanksgiving and not go up to beautiful and exotic Omaha, Nebraska. So, mom decided to invite her friend M.E. over for T-Giving dinner.

M.E. decided not to go to T-Giving at any of her children’s houses, so we invited her over and she spent the day explaining to us what was wrong with “this country.” Every single problem she identified applied to “this country” and not just individual people. This is what we got 4 hours of…

“I spent the whole afternoon at the cable company’s office yesterday trying to get them to explain to me why all my channels are letterbox now. They tried to claim I could fix it with my remote. That’s ridiculous. They’ve done something and just won’t fix it. We have no decent customer service in this country anymore.”

“We just have no social graces in this country anymore. Everyone just uses the ‘F-word’ non-stop anymore.”

“This country has lost all sense of decency and morality. People behave like animals.”

“Are there even any white players LEFT in athletics in this country anymore?”

“There isn’t a single decent or honest politician anywhere in this country. They’re all a bunch of crooks and liars. Every single one of them.”

“We’ve allowed the family until to just fall apart in this country. People have to move away to find decent jobs. Families separate and never see each other. Of course, I’m not all that happy with my family right now.”

“Nobody lives here (Redneckville) anymore. The ones who do work somewhere else. We’re a ‘closet’ community.”

“We’re just way too informal anymore in this country. I’m embarrassed by what my granddaughter wears sometimes.”

“Everyone in this country is driven only by greed anymore. Nothing else. And the commercialization of everything is just disgusting. I have to get up and hit the Black Friday sales in Branson tomorrow.”

“The internet is just destroying this country. Nobody ever deals with other human beings anymore in this country because of it. Everyone stays home and instead of talking to REAL people they talk to these internet people. And then they do their shopping on there. Nobody ever gets out and does things in this country anymore.”

“No company hires Americans to work for them anymore in this country. They just import people from Asia who will work so much cheaper. And then our rich people in this country don’t do any charity for America anymore. They all go to Africa to do any charity.”  

Then there was this hilarious exchange between M.E. and my mother:

Mom: “Dan H. wants the Tea Party to help him recall the mayor.”
M.E: “Who the hell is Van H?”
Mom: “DAN”
M.E: “And what’s Van H’s problem with the mayor?”
Mom: “It’s DAN H. and I don’t really know, there was just a story about it in the paper.”
M.E: “Well, I’ve never even heard of this Van H.”
Mom: “DAN. Dee. Ayy. Ennn.  He used to be mayor and was just voted off the city council.”
M.E: “Ohhhh! Yeah, DAN H. used to be mayor, but I don’t know Van.”

So basically, all that stuff so much more that I couldn’t remember is what’s wrong with this country. But, the food was good and the wine dulled the senses beautifully and all in all it was a nice day.

Also, our first liquor store opened here in Redneckville almost a year after our voting to go wet. I took full advantage of the situation and got something that would put me in the proper mood for the day …