Blogmas Day 6: Donald Trump Haiku Poet

Hello everyone, Donald Trump, the Poetic POTUS here to entertain you with some TrumpKu’s! 

Eighteen Angry Dems
Ruined the Bush Funeral
There’s No Collusion! 

I’m a Tariff Man
China is Ripping Us Off
I Don’t Pay Taxes

Nice Bush Funeral
Mine Will Be Fancier
Carter Smells Funny 

The Bush Twins are Hot
Ivanka is Sexier
I Really Love Boobies 

Low Gas Prices
Thanks Saudi Arabia
But, Mostly Thanks Trump

Liberals Hate Me
Cause I say Merry Christmas
And They Hate Jesus

It’s So Damn Cold Here
Where’s That Sweet Global Warming
Keep Me Warm Stormy 

Happy Hanukkah
I’m Popular with the Jews
And Schlump Rhymes with Trump 

Along the Sullied Boulevard of Words Made Magical

Jay, Matt, Jamie, and the IWS Radio team busted rhymes, struck a prose, and haikued their way to hilarity on this past Sunday's show, as they celebrated National Poetry Month. If you thought you hated poetry before, you'll hate it even more after listening to this show. Give it a listen!!

Stream of Haikuciousness...When Matt-Man Develops His Spontaneous Asian Side

Yesterday on the IWS website, Jayman posted an exquisitely done stream of consciousness post.  I mean…

It was so damn well done, that while the tears of James Joyce were falling from Heaven, Jayman was receiving a call from the Ted Cruz organization begging Jayman to be their filibuster writer from here on out.

So?  I thought I’d do a little stream of consciousness writing myself, however…

Just to mix it up a little, I thought I’d stream my consciousness in the form of haikus.

So here ya go, Matt-Man’s Stream of Haikusciousness…

This winter drags on
Will it end anytime soon?
I seriously doubt it.

This Steel Reserve
Is quite tasty and so warm,
Fuck Mother Nature.

I’m off this Sunday
Facebook friends better beware,
Ima gonna drink.

Sausage, toast, and eggs
That sounds incredibly good.
So much effort though.

I just lit a smoke
I take a deep drag, and smile
Newport Reds taste swell.

Lent is almost here
I need to give up something
Bread and pasta…Gone!!

My zipper is down
I find that extremely odd
Hands were typing keys.

I bet Kate Upton
Is really awful in bed
Not allowed to bite and mar her picture perfect tits.

My last Kate haiku
Did not follow haiku rules
Oh well…suck it, Kate.

Chicken nuggets, not eggs

eggs?

Nuggets are much less trouble.
Eggs may have to sit.

I just touched my dick.
No, I didn’t have an itch
I just wanted to.

Why do people judge?
Schmoop is sound asleep in bed
And I am horny.

Thank you, and have a great Thursday…I shall spend mine saying “5-7-5” to myself.

Today’s drawer at the Beer Mine is gonna be so fucked up.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
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