Life at the Top of the Mountain

Hola Stupids! Well, it finally happened. I’m With Stupid is (or was, depending on when you read this) the NUMBER ONE comedy show on Blog Talk Radio. And, after two years, 172 episodes, some cool guests, shameless self-promotion (which makes us both uneasy), guerrilla marketing and every conceivable attempt at SEO action, it was the show with my mother that hit #1. And how did that play out?

Me: “Yo mom! Check out the BTR rankings! IWS is FINALLY #1! It took forever but we finally did it!” 
Mom: “You’re welcome.” 

I’m glad she’s staying humble. Anyway, there are some people who IWS would like to thank personally here on this momentous occasion. I know this is risky because if we leave someone out, it will hurt their feelings. But, there are a number of people who have been so supportive and are such wonderful friends that they should be honored. So, I will list as many of them as I can think of right off the top of my head here:

Schmoop: She named the show! She might have meant it as a shot at Matt and me, but that’s part of her charm. The Schmoopster freaking rocks!

The Jaymom: She carried us to the top and has been so supportive.

Warrior_Kat: My BFF! She’s the one who told me “Just start doing the show. Don’t wait!” when Matt and I were dithering back in the day. She’s also hawt.

Hannah AKA: Sweet pea: The Jewess! Another babe who has provided many a hilarious moment for IWS. Anyone else call the show while hiding in a closet at work? I didn’t think so.

Jo: Wonderful and talented person who is also a great friend. Jo IS going to be a guest on the show sooner rather than later. She just is, dammit! Also? She's hawt too.

Knight: Another super talented hottie. She keeps insisting that I’m not creepy. I think she’s just being nice.

Mike and Mrs. Mike: Been there from day one and both have call the show many times and just so damn cute!

Dianne: Sexy outspoken Jersey babe who dropped the show’s first F-Bomb, which is exactly how it should be.

Dana Lu: Also there since day one and has probably taken more crap off of us than anyone.

Dr. Mike Sevilla: Great guy who not only has a great podcast himself, but has been super supportive.

Vinny Bond: We go wayyyyyyyyy back with the Vinster and he has probably taken the second most crap off of us.

Sunshine State Shirley: I KNOW, RIGHT?!

Mischie: Nothing but love and support from one of the sweetest people on Earth.

Tamra Ramone: Our 4th of July All-American Babe!

Gnetch: Little Miss Sunshine!

Carrie Welch: Our first big-time guest and great sport who probably thinks we’re freaking crazy.

Nicole Russin AKA: The Legendary Richarde: Another great guest who will totally remember us when she’s super famous someday.

Stacy Uncorked: The big breakout show! Our first guest who really brought in big ratings numbers and a cool chick.

Joker: It might have ended badly, but he came on the show was an excellent guest.

Drive By Mikey:  No comment.

Average Chick, Cletus the Fetus, Fluffilicious, Tantra Flower, Tyla Kells, LittleAngry Girl, David Lawrence, Julie Capri, Natalie Stevenson, Crackerville, Tiffany H, Jamie, Maria Sharapova, Alan Levy, 

I hope didn’t leave anyone out, but I’m sure I did. It certainly wasn’t intentional though, I promise! I know there are lots more out there and we appreciate each and every one of you! Thank you guys for your support and may the spiritual being of your choice bless you.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS


Be sure to check out the I’m With Stupid podcast! The #1 Comedy show on Blog Talk Radio!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Creepy Kid Next Door: Oh Yeah...This Man is a Senior!!

Hi IWS Radio and Website Heads!! Guess who is back?

That’s right…THIS GUY!!

I’m Creepy Kid Next Door and you haven’t seen me in a long, long while have you?

Darn right you haven’t, because you know what this sexy, now a Senior in High School has been doing?

STUFF!!  Ha!!

Stuff you would like to know about, but never will, because it’s stuff that I’M doing.  Got it !?

Uh-huh.  I don’t let anyone, know anything about my stuff.

My stuff is kept secret to me and a few of my only slightly removed from puberty, posse, because if I were to share what I do in my private life, MTV would copy it, and hire quasi-actors to do a quasi-real life type of show to present it.

CKND, is all up, and down, for a good reality TV show, just don’t taint my brand.  My brand, is MY brand. Do you hear me Viacom Media?  Just step off, and back away from my life, or I’ll cut you, well…

I won’t; I have people for that, and my mom and dad could easily cut a Viacom bitch by hiring a lawyer.

Anyway, I just started my Senior year of High School and let me tell, I am like an Adonis now that I have reached the Mt. Olympus of High School hierarchy.

I’m like the, Zeus Kid Next Door.  I tell the little people what to do. I eat their livestock on a whim, and their women?  I just say, “Hey, I’m CKND, wanna go out?”

I mean, I always knew I was born to greatness, but Holy Cow, I never expected this!!

Some of you who know me, know that I am a baller.  I can sink 91 three-point shots in 5 minutes, but did you know that this year, I am also running Cross-Country?

It’s true.  And…I am a badass at it.

We already had our first meet, and me, my Adonis-like body, and my size fourteen and a half feet came in at 22 plus minutes.  Not nearly the fastest speed, but you know what?  I looked sexy doing it, and…That is what it is all about.

Oh sure, I heard that that IWS Matt guy reported on the air that I fell, tripped, or got knocked over three times in my first meet on the IWS Radio Show, but so what?

You know what else fell, got tripped, and or knocked over?  His FACE!!

Some people are always gonna hate.  Even gonna hate someone like me.  That’s sad.

I didn’t want to run Cross Country, but I did it to stay in shape for basketball and to be true to my school, the Matt-Man does a radio show to be true to his rude.  Ha Ha!!

Looks like somebody just leveled the playing field.  Take that, Mr. Funny Matt-Man.

Anyway, it’s my Senior year of High School, and I am going to enjoy it, because the cheerleaders love me.

You know why?

Because, I am a Senior, and...

I’m a runner and a baller, and most importantly…

In spite of my sarcastic nature and off the cuff sleights toward my dad, I think I have finally matured.

YOUR FACE STILL SUCKS,

CKND

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS

In other news...Jayman and I celebrated the end of our 2nd year on the air and we did it with style, as we talked to Shirley, Warrior Kat, and Natalie...It was awesome, so if you missed it, give it a listen:

Two Amazing Years

Holaaaaaaa! Well, as you guys now know, I’m With Stupid Podcast is two years old. *Holds up two fingers* Yesterday Matt-Man reflected a bit on the past two years and shared some of the accolades we’ve gotten from celebrities that are still rolling in! So, along with a little of my own reflections, I’m going to share the next round of congratulatory shout outs.

“Two whole years huh? Well, give yourselves a fucking cookie, assholes.” – Denis Leary

Our Season Two Finale will be show number 172. Okay 173, we deleted one. Anyone who listened to the deleted show will remember our first lesson we learned about radio/podcasting. It IS possible to be too drunk for radio and if you aren’t fully committed to a bit, you should just bail out of it and muddle through. Although, one could make the argument that bombing and melting down is a necessary lesson too. I’m guessing most people are surprised that we’ve only had to delete one show anyway.  Now that I think about it, I should have downloaded that show before we deleted it. The Smithsonian might want it someday.

“Congrats to two great seasons and here’s to lots and lots more success in the future you SEXY BEASTS!” – Scarlett Johansson

Oh yeah, delusions of grandeur are a good thing. Dream big or go home, right? As I mentioned in comments yesterday, it’s kind of exciting and even a little scary that our “joking” about our “vast and diverse worldwide audience” isn’t really a joke anymore. For the longest time we actually knew everyone who listened to the show. There was a certain comfort in that, but it was also a little depressing.

“So you guys finally experienced a breakout and are hitting near the top of the ratings? Good for you! Also, I’m still alive fuck nuts!” – Frank Bonner 

One of the things that we kind of got away from was doing audio bits from our special “correspondents.” We did a lot of these early on and most of them were really funny. They are actually very time-consuming to do though and after a while they seemed to start all sounding alike. But, I have a feeling in the year(s) to come; we will get back into doing those again.

“OMG! You guys are so deserving of all the success you've had. I’m totally addicted to your show!” – Lindsay Lohan *steals Jayman’s watch on the way out*

The coolest thing that we have done is finally get some guests to come on the show. We’ve talked about it from day one, but have been picky about who we ask, especially since the whole “Joker/Nazi” incident. But, we most definitely plan on having as many guests as we can in the seasons to come. Who knows, maybe we’ll get some REALLY big names soon! Not likely, but maybe!

“Congrats to the Leopold and Loeb of internet radio.” – Dennis Miller

What I do know is that we will continue to make fun of all the stupid people out there. The politicians, athletes, celebrities, attention whores, stupid criminals, zealots, atheists, writers, pundits, haters, self-important fools, frauds, self-proclaimed legal/medical/financial etc “experts,” easily offended, outraged and hypocrites. Most of all though, we’ll continue to make fun of ourselves even though a lot of times the listeners don’t realize that’s what we’re doing.

“I’m really happy for you guys and impressed at how well you’ve done. You guys rock! Now leave me alone you pervs!!" – Miley Cyrus

Mostly though, I just want to thank everyone out there who listens to the show. I hope you enjoy it and maybe it brings a little smile to your day cause that’s all we really want to do. So, here’s to two great years and to season three being even better!!

“Hey Jay! I heard that impression you’ve been doing of me. Not funny buddy. You’re lucky I don’t come over there and kick your ass!” – Kirk Douglass 

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS 

In the Words of Both Cicero and JayMom, Tempus Fugit

Cheers and a big celebratory welcome to you all on this glorious Tuesday that God has granted us.

Why do I sound all up in the air as if I am walking on sunshine, you ask?

Well…Oh ho, let me tell you.

Tomorrow marks the end of the second year of the IWS Radio legacy.  I shit…you…not.

Tommorow’s radio show marks the point where Jayman and I have been on the air for a full two years. I know, I know….

To some of you, it seems like a decade, but nope, it’s only been two short years of non-stop hilarity and Marconi Award winning radio stuff courtesy of the professional folks here at IWS Radio.

We hope you have enjoyed our efforts over the last couple of years and judging by the recent number of listeners to our shows, you actually have, although the fact that the recent show with Schmoop which has to date had more listens than any show we have done didn’t include much of me personally, kinda brings on a bit of, well…heartache.

(Ed. Note:  Get the fuck over yourself and your expansive, yet fragile ego, Crybaby Mahoney.)

Nonetheless, we appreciate you listening to our show, especially those of you who have been there from the start….the turgid, noisy computer, more than half drunk, unemployed and sobbing, what the fuck, early shows.

And those descriptions only apply to MY state of mind at the time!!  Holy Cow, how did we and how have we continued to do it!?

Deus ex MattJayna, that’s how!!  Huh-uh, I said that.

Our unbridled success has not gone unnoticed upon some in the community of celebrities and movers and shakers.  Noooooooo….

Congratulatory emails and words of praise have been flowing from the non-stop mouths of folks of famous personage…

And, we’d like to share some of them.

“You guys RAWWWWWWK, and if I was four years younger, I’d do you both…at the same time!!”
--Bristol Palin

“I talk of Jayman and Matt-Man as both a blessing and a curse, which comes in handy depending on which audience I am addressing at the time.”
--Mitt Romney

“You guys have built an eager audience base and a successful radio show that is special, but remember…you didn't build that radio show on your own.”
--Pres. Barack Obama

“Not only can I see Russia from my backyard, I can listen to Jay and Matt through my computer thingy.”
--Sarah Palin

“Hapoho oi h o ih jh j poj p oj poj pj po pojbkuya ywre v”
--Michael J. Fox

“God Damn It!!  When is the fucking FCC gonna shut theses two motherfuckers down?  Jew lovin’ bastards!!”
--Carl Paladino

“Jay and Matt are prime examples as to why no woman should be without free and accessible birth control.”
--Sandra Fluke

“I'm really having fun with this new mute Matt button.”
--Dour Mike

"Happy Doo Yearsssshh!!"
--The Late Dick Clark via Kirk Douglas

We appreciate the love that you all have poured upon us these last two years, and we can’t wait to continue our, what at times seems to be some funny, yet creepy and incestuous relationship that would be struck down in our judicial systems.

Thanks for sticking with us, and we will see you here tomorrow, and on the radio once again, Wednesday.

Cheers!!
Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattmaniws

Moms are Awesome

Remember when you were little? Really little. Like two or three years old. Remember how there really weren't too many cares in the world. You just played with your toys and ate and slept. Mom was always there to get your toys or talk to you or read to you and feed you. Then it came time to start preschool. Remember how you didn't really like this change in your schedule? How mom would take you to pre-school and leave you there with all those strangers and you’d cry. You wanted your mommy. But, then mom would always be there, every day to pick you up. So after a while you realized that mom was going to still be there. And you were going to get to tell her all about your day and she still fed you and played with you and read to you and everything was okay. Then you had to start real school. Again, this wasn't all that great of an idea. No more naps. No more half days. All day every day. And then things got confusing. Dad decided to leave. You didn't understand at all. But mom was there to explain it to you and help you understand. Again at the end of the school day there was mom. And she would still do all those great things and now you were learning to read and she would let you read to her. Then as the years moved along you started feeling like exploring a little further and further from home. But, when things got a little scary you turned and went right back to mom again. And you really still didn't have any cares. You watched TV, listened to music, and did you homework with mom’s help. Then you got into Jr. High. Now there were a lot of changes taking place. People were changing. Some for good and some for bad. Again, mom was there to help explain what was happening. Then school work began to change. You needed a bit more help and wanted further understanding of what you were supposed to be learning. And of course, there was the opposite sex. Mom was going to have to handle these explanations too. So now it was High School time. Now it was learning to drive. Lots of peer pressure. Lots of awkwardness. Lots of trouble with friends and the opposite sex. Again, you turn to mom for support. All the while you are pushing the boundaries. Seeing how far you could push things trying mom’s patience the whole time. Then it was college. College sucked. You came home two weekends in a row. You didn't admit to being homesick and you didn’t have to. Mom knew but didn’t say anything. She was cool like that. Then you decided you just couldn't stand college anymore. So you moved back home. Then after a while you decided to go back and finish school up. Mom was there to provide support and tell you that you can do it. And you did. And mom was so proud. And then you began making your way through the world and making your own decisions, some of them good, some of them bad. No matter what you always had that support there from mom. You always knew that if you needed anything or anyone you could just call mom.

Remember all that??

Yeah, that’s my mom. She’s awesome.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

And you can find out how awesome by listening to this week’s episode of I’m With Stupid where we welcomed the JayMom as our special guest. She was a great guest too! We talked growing up in Little Rock, Rock ‘n Roll, living in the wilds of Marion County, Arkansas, her opinion of the Republican Party, her love of Neil Diamond and so much more! So definitely check this one out!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

IWS Babe of the Week...Olivia Munn and She is Getting Her Sloan Sabbith On

Allow me to introduce you to Maxim's Number 2 sexiest chick in the world...Olivia Munn:

I guess she is some kind of current day pop culture icon star who appears on a TV show that I have never watched called, The Newsroom as the character Sloan Sabbith.  What?  Is her last name an infantile slap at the Lord's Day?...

If her Sabbith name is an attempt to make fun of God Almighty and his only begotten son, she should repent like Republicans of the U.S House of Representative did, by swimming in the Sea of Galilee naked, or at least getting quasi-clothed and doing it...

But looking at the following picture, I don't think Olivia Munn really cares, and why should she..?

She probably doesn't care about what others think because she has the backing of a wonderful mom, and so does Jayman, and...

We will being talking to Jaymom LIVE at Noon ET today on IWS Radio.

If you'd like to hear how and why Jayman is as messed up as he is, his DNA portal will be on the air, LIVE with us today at Noon ET, and you can catch us live by clicking here:

THE JAYMOM SHOW

In all seriousness, having on the JayMom will be thrilling, and we hope you join us LIVE at Noon ET today on IWS Radio.

Cheers!!

Be sure to check out the I’m With Stupid podcast! The #1 Comedy Show on Blog Talk Radio!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Matt Said, Jay Said LII

Jay said a few things, Matt said a few things, You weren’t there so you don’t know what was REALLY said.

Matt: Yo
Jay: What it do?
Matt: It do. It do.
Jay: True dat.
Matt: MmmHmmm
Jay: Yup
Matt: So the Schmoop Show put up some numbers.
Jay: Damn good numbers.
Matt: People love Schmoop.
Jay: Oh yeah! Lots.
Matt: You were pretty good too.
Jay: Awww shucks. I just happened to be the other one with a working phone.
Matt: That damn cell phone still doesn’t work.
Jay: It better not!
Matt: Oh yeah! It would suck if it started working after the show.


Jay: So what are you doing tonight?
Matt: Well now that I can’t go legitimately rape anyone, nothing!
Jay: That damn Todd Akin!
Matt: Ruined it for everyone!
Jay: I know, right?!? And, I’m all confused now.
Matt: Exactly! I can’t figure legitimate from illegitimate rape.
Jay: How can I concentrate on the task at hand if I’m all confused?
Matt: You can’t!
Jay: NO! I can’t.
Matt: That bastard.
Jay: Took all the fun out it.
Matt: For both me AND my victim.
Jay: Oh yeah! And what about the victim? He totally ruined it for her too.
Matt: So damn inconsiderate.
Jay: Rude.
Matt: Thoughtless
Jay: He’s just a bad person.
Matt: The worst.

Jay: But, you know who is a GREAT person?
Matt: Your mother.
Jay: Damn right buddy.
Matt: We should have her on the show.
Jay: Brilliant idea!!!
Matt: I like it.
Jay: I love it!!!!
Matt: Jay, too many exclamation points.
Jay: Not possible dude!
Matt: You’re probably right.
Jay: We can talk about her going to Little Rock Central the year they integrated.
Matt: Oooooo that’s good right there.
Jay: Yup, and then about living in Yellville AR.
Matt: And the early days of Rock ‘n Roll!
Jay: Totally!
Matt: And God only knows what I’ll come up with.
Jay: Oh man.
Matt: Don’t worry, you can trust me.
Jay: Umm .. Yeah, totally.
Matt: Another HUGE SHOW!
Jay: I can’t wait!
Matt: Okay, I gotta go.
Jay: Me too. Night Sugar Britches.
Matt: Night Pookie.

There you go! Our brilliants spewed all over your computer screen. Also, be sure to join us Sunday at 12 Noon ET for a very special I’m With Stupid as we will interview Jay’s mother! This one could be awesome or get really awkward. Or it could be awesomely awkward!

I Only Wish Schmoop Was Addicted to Me

I have a kinda personal post for you today, and well, it’s not very uplifting.

In fact, it’s depressing as hell, but I shall go forth with it, because the subject in question asked me to…

You know that friend you have?

The one who isn’t quite right due to drugs, alcohol, or some undefined mental illness, but you love him or her to death?

I have one of those, and her name is Schmoop.

Schmoop and I have lovingly lived in sin for nearly twelve years now, but of late, something has happened to her, and she has become someone other than herself.

Schmoop has always liked to drink, as do I, and she has always liked to sleep, but lately?

Our lovable Schmoop enjoys drinking more and more and sleeping more and more, and where does that leave me?

In a town called, Suckville!!

Now as many of you know, Schmoop, or Beth, as she appears in our comments, is my girlfriend and has been for 12 years.

We have always appeared happy go lucky, devil-may-care, and “George and Gracie in love”, which we still are, however…

We have a drinking problem in the Bagwine digs.

Schmoop drinks too much.

No, I’m not kidding; it’s not me, (well, okay I probably do as well) which you were all thinking anyway, but it’s all about the Schmoop, and she wanted me to write this, because she knows it and/or wants you to know it.

I know, we all do foolish things when we have been drinking, as our IWS friend, Dana and I are quite aware of, but it is another thing to get to the point where excessive drinking or any kind of addiction can ruin a friendship…or more importantly, a love.

I have been putting up with it for weeks, and being the patient man that I am, I let it go.  Well, with her, not within my mind, until tonight, when I snapped.

To be perfectly graphic, I was on top of Schmoop and while wailing away, she said…

“That’s enough.”

After the awkward re-dressing of ourselves, I asked, “That’s it?”

And in a surreal, lilting voice, she said, ”Yeah, I've had enough.” (Ed. Note:  Holy Shit Mahoney, that had to hurt.)

I wasn’t pissed.  I wasn’t mad.  I wasn’t ready to take her head off.

I was, in a word, “sad.”

It was after we dressed that I asked her, “What the hell is your problem?” that she asked…

“What?”

I responded,…

“You are always drunk when you pick me up at work.  Friday nights you are asleep.  When I get home on Saturday nights you are drunk as hell.  Sundays you entirely sleep away, and now this?  Why the fuck don’t you love me?”

She said…

“I do love you, but I never noticed the stuff you are talking about.”

After I pointed out the many examples, we cried together, hugged, and she said, “I promise that I’ll make some changes.”

Uh-huh...

I know that she believes that, but she told me to post this for a reason, and that is for all of you to stay on her ass, and make her actually do it, and I hope you do, because…

I miss my Schmoop... alot.

Cheers and Thanks!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattmaniws

Low Tires and Full Bags

Hola y’all! So I had a very important top secret mission on Tuesday which I was using my mother’s car to accomplish. I used her car because it doesn’t get driven much and need to be and because it was full of gas. Before launching the mission I ran to Walgreen’s to take advantage of their four 12-packs of Pepsi for only $11 deal. Can’t pass that up!

As I was leaving I noticed that the front right tire on mom’s car was very low. So, I headed up to White Oak Station to use the air machine for only .75 cents. But, there was a problem. See, the thingy … uh … you know what I mean … THE THINGY! COME ON, YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! GODDAMMIT DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! THE DOOHICKEY YOU PUT THE AIR IN THE TIRE THROUGH.

Oh yeah, the stem … or … valve stem! Yeah, that’s it. Anyway, the valve stem on those tires is on the wrong side. It’s on the inside of the tire and I had to reach through a hole in the wheel to get to it. But, I couldn’t get the air hose through it and onto the valve stem. I was just letting more air out of the tire and I was afraid it was going to get stuck in there I would end up with a flat tire.

So, I had to go down the road a way to Beeler’s Tire Service. And of course I had to explain to the guy there who looked at me like a total fucking moron what the deal was. He then just nodded and went got a special thingamabob attachment to put on the air hose and started airing up the tires. I’m sure while he was doing that he was thinking “Look at Mr. Prissy McFancypants there who can’t even air up his own tires.” I just know he was thinking that and man it pisses me off.

Anyway, he airs up the tires and says “They were all low, but that one over there was all the way down to 18 pounds!” He did with this indignant “MY GOD! YOU CALL YOURSELF A MAN! YOU’VE PUT THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY AT RISK THROUGH YOUR RECKLESS DRIVING ON A TIRE LOW ON AIR! I HAVE CHILDREN! YOU COULD HAVE LOST CONTROL AND KILLED THEM! look on his face.

This experience left me feeling pretty bad about myself for the rest of the day. On my way home I stopped at Hudson’s Grocery to pick up a few items. Hudson’s is “The People Pleasing Place” you know. Anyway, Hudson’s is an old school type grocery store where they not only bag your groceries but carry them out to your car for you. You big city folks probably don’t get that kind of service at your grocery stores.

Anyway, I don’t ever let them carry my bags out because I never have more than two anyway. Also, they use really good sack, the kinds with handles and everything. Top quality stuff. But, I guess I was feeling a bit defensive so when the kid asked “Need any help with these” I replied “DO I FUCKING LOOK LIKE I NEED HELP? I’M PRETTY SURE I CAN CARRY TWO LITTLE OLD SACKS OF FOOD TO MY CAR WITHOUT KEELING OVER.”

Okay, not really. But, I did rather sarcastically say “I’m pretty sure I can handle it.” Now I feel bad cause he was kind of apologetic the way he handed me the bags and said “Okay, yes sir. Here you go.” Worse than that, about halfway to the car I started thinking “Damn, did he put the canned goods AND the bag of potatoes in the same sack? This bitch is heavy.”

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS 

--

In other news we totally violated Rep. Todd Akin on the Legitimate Rape Show on I’m With Stupid today. You should totally listen.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Todd Akin and Legitimate Rape: A Zygote's Rebuttal

Hi IWS fans, Newly Formed Zygote here in order to rebut, refute, and re-make fun of the, “Legitimate Rape Cannot Lead to Pregnancy Theory” offered up by U.S. Rep. Todd Akin (R-Bizarro World).

Now Todd Akin says that if a woman is “legitimately raped” somehow her body can fight that, shut down somehow, and/or miraculously through osmosis, and through her cries of, “Dear God get off of me you fucking pig!!”, invoke a secret secretion that evidently in a Deus ex Machina mode, acts as a supernatural type of spermicidal manna from Heaven.

Praise Jeebus and Praise Todd Akin!!  Well, if that were true, I’d praise them, but no...no its not true.

And how do I know this you ask?

Let me tell you…

Just days ago, when I was but a mere ovum happily dreaming of someday becoming fertilized by a nice guy with a good income and who insisted on his adorable kid eating only pizza, hamburgers, and ice cream throughout his or her entire childhood, my mom’s body was violently and criminally invaded, and my dream of a life as a loved and happy child in a stable family was shattered forever, as were her dreams.

Some people like Todd Akin believe that life begins at conception, and well at least for me it actually did, and let me tell you, if what happened is part of life, I want no part of it.

When that bastard violated my mom, I could smell the liquor on his body, hear the anguish in her voice, and taste the hate of control on his sperm.  It was ugly.  It was wrong…and most importantly and horridly, in the eyes of some, mom and I have to live with that, and take my birth down the Road to Fruition.

Fuck that.

Oh sure, you make think I know not of what I speak, after all, I am but a mere zygote.  Well let me tell you my friends, in a day or so I will become a blastocyst.  When I morph into that, watch out, because blastocysts are bad asses. In fact, just count on referring to me as Badasstocyst within the next 48 hours.

You hear me Todd Akin!!?

And you know, Todd?  As I type this I am not only going from zygote, to blastocyst, to fetus with rapidity, I am all the while inheriting the DNA of some rapist, psycho-stalking asshole with a meth addiction, and anger issues.

I know you think that somehow that is the plan of an all-knowing, all-benevolent God and we need to save me no matter how I came to be, because God would want that, but your wrong.

That may be the God you know, but the God I know?

He is all about love, and he doesn't use women as unwilling vessels in which to harbor the sperm and offspring of crackheads, boneheads, and dickheads.

When folks of your ilk rage against “radical Islam” you invoke God’s name, and when you speak as you do on this subject, you invoke God’s name as well.  I don’t think God is happy you or radical Muslims invoking His name on anything, because well, you're all fucking stupid.

I’m sure he shakes his head in disgust when Muslims kill in His name and I think he shakes his head in disgust when “Christians” such as yourself , use His name to attempt to forcibly make a woman who through no fault of her own, birth a baby whom she never wanted, never asked for, nor ever desired.

I like choice Mr. Akin and as a Conservative you should as well.  But see…

My mom had no choice, and if you consider me to be a life…I had no choice either.  And, if I come out of the womb all fucked up, angry, and hateful, I will have no choice but to hunt you down and piss all over you.

Well that, or if am born a boy, seek you out and legitimately rape you.

Cheers!!

Zy

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattmaniws

Bored Like Me

Hola y’all! Well, I got nothing. Nada. Zilch. Not a damn thing. There’s just nothing going on. I mean, there’s stuff going on, but nothing fun or interesting to blog about. It’s the dog days of summer. Maybe we should have taken the month of August off like the ladies of The View do. Nawww.

Thank God there’s football on tonight cause Mondays are brutal on TV. Oh sure, it’s just preseason, but for an expert football analyst such as myself, that’s no problem at all. Not that I need to analyze the players anymore since I’ve given up playing fantasy football. FF is just too much of a hassle and takes away from the enjoyment of the game.

Speaking of football, some Yay-HOO over at the AP has picked Arkansas to go to the BCS Championship Game and play Southern California there. So, how to Arkansas fans on the message boards react to this? Do they celebrate having a team that at least one “expert” is picking to go to the big game? Do they celebrate having a team ranked in the Top 10 to start the season? No, they bitch that the guy picked USC to win the championship game. They’re delusional. Every last one of them.

I could talk about Todd Akin, but why bother? By the end of the week he will have restored his lead in the polls and be on his way to making Missouri the laughingstock of the country. But, I will say to all you folks out there saying you want your politicians to “just be honest” I hope you’re happy. This is what we get when politicians are honest. People like Akin say things like women can’t get pregnant from “legitimate rape” because that is what he honestly believes. I guarantee you the GOP would like for Akin to quit being honest about what so many of them believe too.

Let’s see what else is happening. Jack shit, that’s what. So bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. I don’t really have anything to rant about. The newspaper is being delivered regularly again. Well, as regularly as it gets printed. The local paper doesn’t run on Sundays or Mondays. But, even though it doesn’t run every day anymore, they still have the audacity to call that paper the “Harrison DAILY Times.” What’s up with that? Shouldn’t it be the “Harrison NOT DAILY Times?” Or the “Harrison Most Days Times?” I maybe have to bring this up with them.

Nothing happening with the noisy neighbors either. The guy upstairs has been doing his partying somewhere else lately. Of course, I might be jinxing that by writing this. I’ll be pissed off if this post goes up at midnight and an hour later a bunch of people show up at his apartment and they crank up that God-awful music. Maybe I should delete it? But, there’s nothing else going on! I guess I’ll just roll the dice and leave it in. Living on the edge is a pretty wild experience.

Well, I guess I’ll wrap this steaming pile of excrement up since it’s doubtful anyone is still reading. I would be. Hell, I’m not reading while I’m typing. My fingers are just doing whatever the hell they want. My brain has stopped and my fingers are doing all the thinking and typing. Hell, I could do this all week. Don’t you think we’ve seen enough of Zach Galifianikis lately? I do. He needs to take some time off. Like the rest of the year or something. That fudgesicle I had for dessert was exceptionally good tonight. I wonder why Word says fudgesicle isn’t a real word? That’s some bullshit right there. Nobody who works for Microsoft has ever known the simple pleasure of sucking on a long, luscious fudgesicle? What a bunch of fucking losers. Whoa! All of the sudden, I’m up to 630 words in this post. Now I KNOW it’s time to wrap it up cause nobody likes a long wordy blog post, especially one as boring as this one. So anyway, that’s all I’ve got.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS 

Lulu and Lizzy

A wonderful pal of the IWS website and radio show asked if we would give her some time, and of course, because she is uber-hot and listens to us twice a day, we said, "Yes, and we also said, how you doing, baby?"

As a woman who has lost a little sister, a sister who has left behind two daughters no less, one of IWS’ faves, Mischie, has written something for her nieces.

It’s cute as hell, and the story not only speaks to her sister’s kids, but to any child who has ever lost a parent…


A Journey for Lulu and Lizzy

Lulu and Lizzy are little bears with lots of family who love and care,
but Mommy isn’t with them now,
not right here, not right now.

In search of a kinship to their mother; they planned a journey with one another.
They wandered down a little path,
hopes held high, hands still clasped.

A bird was singing in a tree,
she sounded a lovely melody.

They listened with a grateful heart,
her song so soothing right from the start.

They watched the bird fly way up high,
and what was that up in the sky?

A great big rainbow that stretched for miles,
and when they saw it, they had great big smiles.

They climbed across a pile of rocks,
Lulu tore her jeans, and Lizzy tore her socks,

But when they reached the other side,
right before their very eyes,
a single daisy grew in the dirt,
it rose between them, almost a foot.

It grew alone, there were no others.
It was a favorite of their mother’s.

They wandered over to a stream.
They washed their clothes and got them clean.
They leaned against a tree to rest,
and couldn’t believe what they saw next.

A brilliant, sparkling firefly,
it buzzed around; it lit the sky.
She told the bears…

“I’ll lead you home,
no longer will you have to roam.

For she will watch you everyday,
and be proud of you in every way.

She’s not here the way you are,
you cannot see her, but she’s not far.

You are loved, both here and there.
Your family's love is everywhere.

She was here, and still your mother,
and what she gave you, was each other.

Never doubt, that you are loved,
that gift is free from up above."

© 2012 Michelle A. Burr

And folks...after a HUGE show last Sunday, we had one this Sunday...Mainly, it was huge because Matt-Man wasn't involved.  Jayman got hot and heavy with the Schmoop and they lit it up, so give it a listen:

Babe of the Week: Kate Beckinsale

Our Babe of the Week for this week is star of the movie Total Recall Kate Beckinsale!

Kathrin Romary Beckinsale was born in London and attended school with great reputations before entering Oxford University where she studied Russian so she could enjoy her favorite book in their original language. It was while at Oxford that Kate made her film debut in Much Ado About Nothing.

After a few years and several different movie roles and a move to Hollyood, Kate became an action film star with the release and big time success of Underworld and then Van Helsing and then in the blockbuster Pearl Harbor.

Not one to allow herself to be typecast into one kind of role, Ms. Beckinsale made the switch from action movies to small-scale dramas in the late 2000’s with roles in movies such as Snow Angels, Winged Creatures and the critically acclaimed Nothing but the Truth for which Kate was nominated for a Broadcast Film Critics Association Award.

And now, just to keep people on their toes, Kate has returned to the action film world by starring in the much anticipated Total Recall which opened recently.

There’s no telling what Kate will be doing next, but whatever it is, she’s gonna look freaking fantastic doing it! Congrats on your Babe of the Week honor Kate!



Check out the IWS Podcast! The NUMBER ONE Comedy podcast on BTR!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Matt Said, Jay Said LI

Matt talks shit.  Jay talks shit.  You listen to our shit.

Matt:  Hidy Hoooooo neighborrrrrrrrr!!
Jay:  Could you be any more gay?
Matt:  Funny…That’s what Schmoop is always asking me.
Jay:  Of course she does…great, hot minds like ours think alike.
Matt:  Or something.

Jay:  Hey…Our Sunday show with Stacy killed.  I mean killed. Number 2 bitches!!
Matt:  Yeah it’s sweet, but I’m sure Alan Levy hates that a non-paying show gets that high.
Jay:  BTR should be paying US to be on their network.
Matt:  Oh hell to the yes!!
Jay:  But I tell ya…It’s going to be hard topping the show with Stacy.
Matt:  I know, but…oh wait…
Jay:  What?

Matt:  Did I tell you that Sigourney Weaver came through the Beer Mine yesterday?
Jay:  NO!!  You mean THE Sigourney Weaver?
Matt:  Well, A Sigourney Weaver.
Jay:  Whaaaaaat?
Matt:  Yeah a chick came in to buy a six pack.  She handed me her credit card and the name on her card read, Sigourney Weaver.
Jay:  Ha…Classic!!

Matt:  IKR?  So I said to her, “Your name is not reall…” and before I got it all out, she said, “Yes…yes it is.”
Jay:  Ha.  That’s too funny.  Was she hot?
Matt:  Oh hell yes.  Mid to late 20’s, very nice, and I had a thought.
Jay:  I know what it was.
Matt:  Ha…Tell me what you think I thought.
Jay:  We could have her on the show and announce that we are going to be interviewing Sigourney Weaver and we wouldn’t be lying!!
Matt:  Exactly!!
Matt and Jay:  Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

Jay:  But before we have Sigourney on, we have to get through a big show with our upcoming guest this Sunday.
Matt:  I know.  The uber-hot and sometimes wonderful, Schmoooooooop!!
Jay:  Man, she has done it all.  The voice for the IWS Radio show opening.  A bit player for IWS Media Group.  Best friends with Kim Fragile.  Puts up with your ass seven days a week.  She’s very accomplished.
Matt:  She’s a lunatic.
Jay:  That’s part of what makes her hot.  She’s crazy and hot like Michele Bachmann, only sane and likeable.
Matt:  True Dat.

Jay:  We will of course have to ask her why we titled the show, Cussin’ the Lettuce with Schmoop.
Matt:  Of course and a host of other things.  This may be the fastest 45 minutes in radio history because there’s so much.
Jay:  We can only do our best.
Matt:  And as always, or as most of time, we will.
Jay:  I think we’re ready.
Matt:  I think we are.  See ya on the radio Sunday at Noon ET, my friend.

Jay:  Okay and dig it...in order to get really psyched for the show, Ima gonna oil myself up to pics of Schmoop prior to going on air.
Matt:  You are so damn devoted to your craft.

So there you have it folks…

This Sunday at Noon ET on IWS Radio, Jay and Matt will have multi-talented, uber hot, and a best friend to both IWS and the boys, Schmoop, on the air for the entire forty-five minutes.

You can join the fun, frivolity, and what assuredly will be, dirty talk LIVE Sunday at Noon ET, by clicking HERE.

Getting Older Kind of Sucks

Hola y’all! So, yesterday Mr. Matt-Man wrote a very nice and thoughtful blog post about the benefits of getting older. He spoke eloquently about being comfortable with who he is and the people in his life and his years of wisdom that he has gained and whatnot. That’s all great, but there’s another side to getting older and I’m afraid that Matt kind of glossed over the negative stuff.

Nighttime is a rough time when men older. I used to be able to sleep through the night without much trouble. Now it takes me forever to get comfortable and actually get to sleep. Then, I have to get up at least once during the night to pee, sometimes multiple times. Often when I go into the bathroom to pee I stand there and wait and wait and wait and … nothing. Eventually I look down and say “Hey, this was your idea not mine!”

When I finally do pee, it comes out at a 47 degree angle missing the toilet completely. So, I shuffle a little to the right in an attempt to hit the target. At this point it straitens out and I miss to the right. The upside is that I don’t have to flush when I’m done. You might ask “Why don’t you just sit so you won’t miss?” Well, that’s a great idea except I’ll fall asleep.

Falling asleep while trying to do other things is also a problem for older people. It’s not uncommon for older people to wake up at 8 am, have a bowl of cereal for breakfast and fall asleep again while reading emails at 9 am. Also, sometimes men might get into bed, reach down and start massaging Mr. Happy and then fall asleep. Then, he might wake up 15 minutes later wondering why he’s holding his wee-wee.

Of course, short term memory goes very quickly when people grow older. Older people have to keep notebooks, post-it notes and pens with them at all times to write things down as they think of them. If they don’t, they’ll completely forget within a minute or so. Also, older people have any errands to run they are usually going to be late because they’ll spend several minutes looking for their keys, wallets and sunglasses. Those keys are probably in the doorknob because they forgot to bring them in after getting home the previous evening. The wallet is in their front pocket and the sunglasses are on the back of the toilet at the Gas and Go.

The grocery store presents a whole new set of problems for older folks. It’s not uncommon to see someone middle aged and older standing in the middle of the isle looking upset and saying “I just want a box of regular, every day fucking Cheez It’s! They have dozens of different flavors but I can’t find the original!” At this point they give up and just get something else. When they go through the checkout the cashier asks “Did you find everything okay?” and the older folks will say “Yes” because they already forgot what it was they couldn’t find.

And of course, there’s technology to deal with. Older people have to write down very specific instructions explaining how to Tweet or post Facebook statuses or even how to get their email. Older people generally get nostalgic for the old days when things weren’t so complicated. Many resist progress and hold onto the old ways. You will find these people at the post office every morning getting their mail out of their P.O. Box and then sitting in their car reading it while hogging a good parking spot. I would say they’re being rude, but it’s not like they realize there are other people around.

So, as you see, getting older isn’t nearly as much fun as Matt-Man claims. Hell, I didn’t even get into the part about waking up each morning wondering what body part will be hurting for no reason at all. Or not being able to stand up like a normal person for 30 minutes after falling asleep for an hour in my chair. Yeah, getting older ain’t for sissies.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

History Repeats, but Perspective Doesn't Always Echo

Happy Thursday kidz, or as I am referring to today as, “Old Folks Day at IWS.”

Yep.  I recently had a few thoughts about growing older, and at the ripe old age of 47, growing older type thoughts creep and sneak their way into my mind more often.

The good thing about that is, as I grow older, my aging mind forgets spontaneous thoughts nearly as fast as they come to mind, but these thoughts?

I wrote them down immediately, because as I am getting older, I knew that two minutes from their inception, I would forget them.

You see…

The other day on Twitter, Jayman and I were discussing his twenty something year old neighbors who are constantly partying it up loudly and obnoxiously.

We began to talk about how we in our forties, can’t do that every night any longer.

I told Jayman that, rest assured I can still party just as intensely as they do, but the duration and frequency of my hoopla is far less, and even on my craziest day of partying, involves a nap at some point.

After we briefly talked about that, I began to think about being forty-seven, and not in a bad way… just thinking about how when I was, say, anywhere from the age of sixteen to twenty-one, how differently I thought being the age of forty-seven would be, and vice-versa.

For instance…

Back in my teens, I never knew that at the age of forty-seven, I would spend Saturday mornings as I exited the bathroom, being asked by a woman if I had a good dump.  Never did I ever imagine that I would be asked in serious and quasi-concerned tone if my dump was, “satisfying.”

Worse yet, I never realized that I would respond in graphic detail as to why it was or was not, a satisfying dump, and neither of us thinking it to to be an awkward question nor response.

I remember being sixteen and having wet dreams…Holy Cow.

I’d wake up in the morning going, “Ewwwww, I’m all matted n’shit.”, and then I'd remember that I got that way because I had nocturnal emission sex with the red head in my HS Biology class.  Mmmmmmmm.

I figured by the time I hit the age of forty-seven, the wet dreams would be long over, but noooooo.  Just the other night, I had one, and I was having sex with the person with whom I live.

I was creeped out for a second, but I felt better knowing that I never at the age of sixteen, had a wet dream involving somebody that I lived with.

That would be creepy because growing up, I had six brothers and two sisters, which back then in the Kentucky Derby of Wet Dreams, would have put me having sex with one of my brothers, as a 1-3 favorite.

I don’t like those odds.  Those odds make me wince, especially if it was my brother Vince.  Uuch.

I never realized back then, that at my current age, a good fart would still be funny.  While they can be as noxious as always, they can still make a happy and lyrical noise.

When I was younger, I used to make fun of my dad for taking a ninety-minute nap every Saturday and Sunday, and now?

I need at least some semblance of a nap everyday, even if only for fifteen minutes.

At twenty or so, I was glad that the acne days were over, and then, they still come back even at my age. Some days now, I’ll look in the mirror and say…

“Holy Shit!!  I have face cancer!!”

Turns out to be just a huge pus-filled zit.  Oy!!

I have no point to today’s meanderings, just pointing out that as we glide along our personal timelines, some things change and some things don't, but it’s all fun, even when irritating at times.

I like being forty-seven, and not because forty-seven is my favorite number or anything; it’s because I like being where I am in life, and who I am surrounded by in my life, and knowing that, for good or bad, it will always be interesting, because…

As we experience new things or look back on hold experiences, as we age, our perspective changes, and in a way, that makes even the past seem new again, and I like that.

And better yet, I’ll like that fact differently tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattmaniws

Kids Learn the Darndest Things in Louisiana Schools

How y’all are? Uh, I mean … Holaaaaaaaaa! As you probably know by now the great state of Louisiana has privatized much of its education system. The result of this is that some schools can now teach things like creationism and Christian ideology to the children, and they aren’t wasting time getting the textbooks that will do just that.

As you can see from this Mother Jones article that I thought was an Onion piece at first, the books some of the schools will be using teach what can only be described as “total fucking bullshit.” They will teach kids that dinosaurs and people walked the Earth at the same time, dragons were real, God used the Trail of Tears to bring native Americans … OOPS! … Indians to Christ and more crazy shit.

Anyway, our crack staff here at IWS World Media has uncovered yet another set of textbooks that are about to be published and used in Louisiana that are EVEN MORE whack than the ones Mother Jones uncovered. Check out some of the stuff the kids will be learning…

- Mikhail Gorbachev was forced to tear down the Berlin Wall after he lost to Ronald Reagan in a no-holds-barred steel cage match. Reagan took him out with a Ronnie-A-Whirl Cross-Body Smash and then crippled him with a leg lock.

- After his victory in that steel cage match, Ronnie became known as The Reagantor all over Eastern Europe.

- There was never any animosity between the North and South until Abraham Lincoln was elected and started attacking Christianity.

- Bluto was right the Germans ARE the ones who bombed Pearl Harbor.

- FDR let the Germans bomb Pearl Harbor so he could take advantage of everyone’s fears and force Socialism on us.

- The meanest and most vicious dinosaur was Barackus Obamus. It fed mostly on young white women.

- The United States was founded so people could be free of the tyranny of universal healthcare.

- No white Christian has ever committed an act of terrorism.

- Blacks begged America to send as many ships as possible to Africa and bring them back to the US where they could live free, work on the plantations and become Christians.

-  When President Eisenhower built the interstate highway system, he warned against the United Nations one day attempting to force cities to build bicycle lanes.

- The Watergate break-in and subsequent scandal that brought down Richard Nixon’s presidency never really happened. It was a complete fabrication by gay establishment and helped along by the liberal media.

- Jesus was actually born in Birmingham, Alabama and was white with a blond mullet and blue eyes. Also, his parents were registered republicans.

So as you can see kids in Louisiana are about to be taught some … uh … interesting things. Let’s all wish them the best of luck to them when they grow up and try to join the workforce and work in the global economy. I’m sure this will be interesting.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

Matt Mahoney and Jason Adams are Viciously Attacked by Jason Adams and Matt Mahoney

Hola and Cheers, Bitches, Chuckleheads, Internet People of the World, and Whatever!!

This is Jason Adams and Matt Mahoney coming to you live on the pages of the IWS website…

Could that intro being any more lame, unfunny, and boorish?

Of course it couldn’t, and yet every day, and twice a week on the radio, two guys who go by the name of Jason Adams and Matt Mahoney do just that, and…

THIS Jason Adams…

And THIS Matt Mahoney…

Are sick of it, and of THEM!!

The IWS duo of Jayman and Matt-Man (ooooo, really clever boys) are ruining the lives of every truly respectable Jason Adams and Matt Mahoney who peacefully and productively thrive within the normal and vastly more well-mannered realm of society.

Just the other day at Crate and Barrel, I spied a lovely young lady who I thought might be interested in grabbing a latte with me.  After a bit of witty banter on my part, she seemed rather interested in doing just that, and then she asked my name.

When I said, “Jason Adams”, she, with cat-like reflexes, immediately drew her pepper spray, and told me to stand away or else she would scream, “Rape.”

And then, while weeping softly and storming away, she muttered something about how disgusting Vienna Sausages are, and told me to stay away from the Middle Schools.

And listen to this…

I was at a church social last week noshing on some delicious ice cream sitting close to a Christian woman whom I had had my eye on for awhile.  I finally found the nerve to approach her, and after sharing some mint chocolate chip goodness with her, she asked, “What’s your name?”

When I responded, “Matt Mahoney.”

She raised her head and arms skyward, and as her tear-filled eyes rolled back into her head, she exalted out to the Lord…

“You are the defiler of God’s design by constantly giving play-by-play analysis of your home wrecking girlfriend’s menstrual cycle.  In God’s name, I rebuke you, and your far too frequent use of the ellipse…”

THIS Jason Adams…And THIS Matt Mahoney, are tired of being shunned, berated, and ostracized in our communities because of THESE two immature, misogynistic, and self-aggrandizing, and self-proclaimed, “internet superstars.”

Seriously Jayman and Matt-Man…grow the by golly up.  What you two are doing is just wrong, and while you think of yourselves as humorous, avant-garde hipsters, you are nothing more than a pair of worthless Jokers in a deck of cards being played at a Canasta tournament. (Ed. Note:  What the fuck does that mean?)

Sure, go on…Continue to sadly ooze out your tired jokes about Marcus Bachmann, corn dogs, heartache, and people like us who truly DO have deep thoughts.  We find you funny, not.

And more importantly, we find you destructive to those of us who unfortunately, share your names.

Should your ridiculous shenanigans continue and our good names be further dragged through the mud because of it, we will have no other alternative than to take legal action against the two of you.

Yes, we know.

You will threaten to counter-sue with your law firm of Wie, Love, Kuntz leading the way, and by the way…ha ha, that carefully thought out name is just so “damn funny”…Zzzzzzzzzzz.

Just stop the madness, and please give each and every Jason Adams and Matt Mahoney who walks upon God’s green Earth his dignity back.

Sincerely,

Jason Adams and Matt Mahoney

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattmaniws

Jay's Random Notebook

Hola y’all! The other day I had to go to Walmart and when I walked in I saw they had all the Back to School shit on display up front. It immediately hit me that I needed to get a notebook and keep it with me at all times to write shit down in. I’ve talked about doing this before because I never remember anything I think of or something inspired by talking to friends or conversations or whatever, but have never actually done it. So, when I saw all the notebooks and pens on sale, I figured it was a sign from God.

The notebook only cost .97 cents. Regular price was $1.12, so not only did I get a notebook, but I now have the .15 cents to cover the ObamaCare increase in the price of a Papa John’s Pizza. I love it when everything works out perfectly like that.

Anyway, my plan is to keep the notebook with me and write shit down and hopefully generate a little more material for the blog and I’m With Stupid Podcast. In fact, I’ve already written down a few random thoughts to share with y’all here…

- A lot of people criticize the Olympics, but there are a lot of events where women compete while not wearing any pants.

- I think a lot of people are dismissive of Vienna Sausages just because they come in a can. But, caviar comes in a can to. Where’s the irrational canned caviar hate?

- I refilled the minutes on my old school Pay-As-You-Go cell phone. Now I can look forward to another 60 days of no calls or texts.

- Four years ago, General Wesley Clark was still thought of as a serious contender for the Vice Presidential slot if Hillary Clinton had won the democratic nomination. Now, he’s hosting another stupid reality show. Man, when you fall in America, you fall hard.

- Speaking of the show “Stars Earn Stripes” there’s no way I’m watching that show unless they promise me that some of the people on that show really will be killed. Otherwise it’s the same empty promises we get from soap operas.

-  If I could create magical spells I wouldn’t do anything else, EVER. That’s all I would do all day long. No blogging, podcasting, Twittering or anything else. I would just sit there and cast spells on people and things and especially on cats. Man, casting spells on cats would be so much fucking fun.

- One of the inspirational quotes I see posted on social media sites often is “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Every time I see that quote I want to add “But sometimes you have to beg.”

Okay, that’s enough of my randomness for today, we’ll do this again some other time. Maybe.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

--

Speaking of random, we had THE Random Cool Chick, Stacy Swenson Johnson from the blog Stacy Uncorked on the IWS podcast Sunday and she was freaking AWESOME!

- Stacy told us about her miracle baby (no, she really IS a miracle baby) Princess Nagger, and about going through the process of adopting Little Dude.

- Then we talked about her attending BlogHer and while she didn’t really dish much dirt on anyone, she did tell us about the person who tried to force a pretty famous blogger who doesn’t drink to take a bottle of homemade wine.

- Speaking of homemade wine, Stacy talked about getting into that and even marketing her own Princess Nagger Wines.

- And so, so much more! It was 45 minutes of non-stop inspiring and fun action. Totally check this one out!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

IWS Babe of the Week...Let's Uncork Stacy!!

Sometimes a Sunday goes well with kicking back, relaxing, and enjoying a tall glass, or...an entire box of wine.

And along those lines, here are some saucy chicks who have a lovely bouquet, a nice finish, and know that a good wine can also be medicinal...

Just a lovely woman, trying to ease the pain of her strep throat...

Another lovely lady, trying to ease the pain of her shingles...

This chick..?  Nothing wrong with her; she's just hangin' out and continuing to enjoy her mellow...

This chick of course, is using wine to relieve her gout...

And then, there is this hot chick...

She not only enjoys drinking wine...she makes it herself, and will be our guest on the IWS Radio Show today LIVE at NOON ET.

Her name is Stacy Swenson Johnson of Stacy Uncorked fame, and we will chat with her live today at Noon ET on our Blog Talk Radio Show which you can listen to LIVE by clicking HERE.

She's a mom, a talented writer, a maker of wine, and so much more; so join Jay and Matt along with their special guest, the uber-lovely Stacy, LIVE at NOON ET today, on IWS Radio!!