Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Apologies Are Not a Sign of Weakness; They Are a Sign of Strength

Cheers Bitches and welcome to the no feel world of Tuesday. Matt-Man here with an important announcement that you will not hear very often, if ever again…

Yesterday was National Kiss and Make Up Day, and today is Repentance Day in Papua-New Guinea.

Although I’m a person who believes that to completely make up (with a woman that is) intercourse MUST be involved, and while I’m neither Papuan nor New Guinean, I thought I would honor the spirit of these two observances by apologizing to a few of the many folks that I may have offended over the years.

To Luigi Vizarri, who was developing a new housing edition to Bagwine in the late 70’s…I apologize for freaking you out when I along with a few friends, built a fake bomb and placed it on the doorstep of one of your un-finished homes.  It looked like a time bomb and was filled with peat moss, but seriously?

We didn't need to put the note inside of it that read, “Bang Wop, You’re Dead!!”  Totally uncalled for.

To the window salesman who some eight to ten years ago kept phone pestering me to let him give me an estimate on new windows.  I apologize for finally saying okay, and after you tried to find our house for over an hour, you were informed that we reside in an apartment building.  That is hours of your life you’ll never get back, and I apologize.

I want to hearken back to two weeks before my HS sophomore year when as the North High School Marching Band was practicing, I ran down a hill disguised in a face mask hat and hurled a goose egg at the marching band director, Michael Mattimore.

To you Mr. Mattimore, I apologize.  It was cruel and childish, however…I will never apologize for my aim. Most highly-paid NFL quarterbacks couldn't have made that throw on a full-out downhill run like I did.

Also related to this event, to our implanted and top secret videographer of the goose egg attack Rob Stevens who spilled the beans.  I apologize to you for not having beaten the shit out of you for turning me in.  I got suspended for two weeks you cackle box.

Lastly…I apologize to my best friend and soul mate Schmoop, because well she asked me to do so publicly and profoundly.  She claims that I use her as a mere piece of gratuitous flesh from time to time to promote IWS Radio without consideration of her feelings.

I don’t know what the hell the crazy chick is talking about, but okay.  I apologize to the Schmoopster.

One thing I do not apologize for nor will I ever, is listening to IWS Radio, and perhaps…

Those of you reading this could apologize to IWS Radio by listening to our Season Five opener on Blog Talk Radio.  If you’d like to listen and repent for your to until now failure to laugh out loud…

Click HERE

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
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Monday, August 25, 2014

Mariah Carey, Abby Huntsman in an IWS Three-Way

Season FIVE of IWS Radio got off to a wacky start. Matt and Jay were kind of all over the place.

Matt-Man talked about HIS intestinal problems this week.

Jayman talked about the Tea Party problems in Redneck County, Arkansas

Jessie Ferg showed up in the chat room and did a new bumper for us with such enthusiasm he caught Matt-Man off guard.

Matt and Jay discussed the OUTRAGE that is the Dominican Republic banning a Miley Cryus concert on morality grounds.

Matt and Jay joined in with the residents of Ferguson, Missouri throwing rocks at MSNBC’s Chris Hayes.

Bobby Kraft gave us his ideas for him in Season Five while he also gave a shout out to Mariah Carey.


Paul Piatt read a beautiful poem by THE Ohio State University super fan Frank Blatz.

The Alarmist Weatherman had a strange run in with Dusty Sandman who is a bit confused as to how the whole Ice Bucket Challenge for ALS works.

Matt and Jay discussed the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge and how some people are clearly cheating by using warm weather. Like Mitt Romney and Abby Huntsman (Editor’s Note: RAWR!)


Don Lemon got pushed around by a raging racist cop and Jay got unfollowed by someone on Twitter who supported the racist cop.

Jay came up with some ideas for Ferguson’s upcoming re-branding efforts.

Singen Burke from Latte of Shallot dropped by.  

Reverend Moneymaker called out both Guy AND Drew Peacock this week as his downward spiral continues.

And sooooooooo much more!!! Definitely check it out! 

                               
                                        Discover Comedy Internet Radio with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

Sunday, August 24, 2014

IWS Person(s) of the Week...Big IWS Radio Fans Are Celebrating Birthdays This Weekend

It's a big day for IWS Radio today.  We are celebrating our fifth season on the air today, an entirely new chapter in the history of the show.

And in honor of IWS Radio beginning a new season on Blog Talk Radio, IWS would like to take the time to honor some celebrities who are beginning a new season in their personal lives.

Here are four hot and talented colleagues and fans of IWS Radio who who are celebrating their birthdays this weekend...

Dave Chappelle...The crazy man from Yellow Springs, Ohio is not only celebrating his 41st birthday today, he is planning his next trip to the moon...


Mike Huckabee...Jayman's less-than favorite Arkansan is celebrating his 59th birthday today with his lovely wife...without alcohol, or any hint of modest cuddle time or sexual activity of course...


Anne Archer...This Fatal Attraction beauty is celebrating her 67th birthday today, and as Matt-Man has always had a thing for her, there is no gratuitous caption involved...


Of course tomorrow, August 25th, the lovely and uber-talented Blake Lively will be entering season 27 of her young and oh so hot life.  We wish her the best, especially after she finds out that Ryan Reynolds is a tailor-made empty suit...


IWS Radio celebrates these four great Americans as our Persons of the Week as they, as does IWS Radio, begin a new season in their lives.  Keep On Truckin' ye great ones...Keep On Truckin'.

And ladies and gents...IWS Radio opens up Season Five today with a bang.  Bobby Kraft, Rev. Moneymaker, Guy Ahnyurdyck, Paul Piatt, Jamie Mapleleaf, and more will be on hand, as Jay and Matt open up Season Five of IWS Radio.

And big news kids...For the first time in a long time Schmoop will be in the hizzy LIVE!!

So join us LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET on Blogtalk Radio as IWS Radio kicks off Season Five.

To join the fun, CLICK HERE!!