What IWS Fans Are Saying

Showing posts with label Basketball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Basketball. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Donald Sterling Speaks On Magic Johnson and Race

Hello……………..Donald Sterling here………..For IWS Radio.

First of all………..I am not well.

Neither mentally, or………morally…………I think.

In spite of all the who-ha-ha that I suffered on behalf of the Viv Stiviano phone call, and the plantation attack I endured during my interview with that faggot Anderson Cooper; I am still alive, and still standing.

Well…at least sitting…and sitting with dignity and with more than a billion dollars in my New York skinny jeans.

So, even at the ripe old age of 80, the NBA wants to kick me out of their exclusive and outraged club now.  I don’t care.

I’m Donald Sterling and I am worth more than almost any of the other owners, other than that dickhead and raft-floating Havana boy, Mark Cuban. What?  Fidel didn’t allow basketball in Cuba, so you came here, Mark? Mark Cuban is a dick.

But I digress…I apologize once again, and trust me, I’ll be doing this for the rest of my short life, but anyhow…I apologize to Magic Johnson.  I said that you had AIDS, and that faggot Anderson Cooper corrected me by saying that you merely had, “HIV.”

Being an old Jewish man, I didn’t realize that if one contracted HIV from having more sex than I ever wanted to, would not necessarily result in AIDS.  I just figured, if the matzo was dipped in something unholy, it wasn’t kosher, and would never again walk the earth.

In other words, in reference to Magic…HE should be dying and I should be looking like a new man…but it’s the other way around.  Oy Vey!!

Another thing…When I saw Magic Johnson at a game with my girlfriend Viv, I said to myself, “She’s not gonna like it when he sings to her during sex, “It’s a peachy peachy peach in the Mississippi mud.””

Anyway…I’m out of the NBA I guess, but I want to find my redemption , and I have cash to burn before I explode set off more of my ignorance, so…

I am going to repair my inexplicable and unwarranted racist reputation by buying the Cleveland Browns of the NFL.  Do you think a man who was racist would buy a team named the Browns?  I didn’t think so.

And in fact, my first move will be to give the team and the fans a mascot for whom we can rally about, Sharecropper Shel.  He’d be a kindly negro with a friendly ho.

And while I’m at it, I may as well buy the Washington Redskins away from that racist heathen Dan Snyder, and re-invent that team.

I would rename the team the Washington D’oh’s and our mascot would be an Algonquin Indian with a piece of paper that meant nothing. But…he would wave it fiercely in the faces of the opposing team!!  Take That Philadelphia!!

Lastly, I would definitely like to thank IWS for allowing me this venue, and I want say something very important.  I apologize to black men everywhere for my words, but seriously?

It’s because you let your bitches run rampant that you are in such disarray.  You black boys really need to reign in your hoochie mamas.

I Am So Down With Your Negro and Indian Smoke Signal Sub-Culture,

Donald Sterling

mattmaniws@ymail.com
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Thursday, August 30, 2012

Creepy Kid Next Door: Oh Yeah...This Man is a Senior!!

Hi IWS Radio and Website Heads!! Guess who is back?

That’s right…THIS GUY!!

I’m Creepy Kid Next Door and you haven’t seen me in a long, long while have you?

Darn right you haven’t, because you know what this sexy, now a Senior in High School has been doing?

STUFF!!  Ha!!

Stuff you would like to know about, but never will, because it’s stuff that I’M doing.  Got it !?

Uh-huh.  I don’t let anyone, know anything about my stuff.

My stuff is kept secret to me and a few of my only slightly removed from puberty, posse, because if I were to share what I do in my private life, MTV would copy it, and hire quasi-actors to do a quasi-real life type of show to present it.

CKND, is all up, and down, for a good reality TV show, just don’t taint my brand.  My brand, is MY brand. Do you hear me Viacom Media?  Just step off, and back away from my life, or I’ll cut you, well…

I won’t; I have people for that, and my mom and dad could easily cut a Viacom bitch by hiring a lawyer.

Anyway, I just started my Senior year of High School and let me tell, I am like an Adonis now that I have reached the Mt. Olympus of High School hierarchy.

I’m like the, Zeus Kid Next Door.  I tell the little people what to do. I eat their livestock on a whim, and their women?  I just say, “Hey, I’m CKND, wanna go out?”

I mean, I always knew I was born to greatness, but Holy Cow, I never expected this!!

Some of you who know me, know that I am a baller.  I can sink 91 three-point shots in 5 minutes, but did you know that this year, I am also running Cross-Country?

It’s true.  And…I am a badass at it.

We already had our first meet, and me, my Adonis-like body, and my size fourteen and a half feet came in at 22 plus minutes.  Not nearly the fastest speed, but you know what?  I looked sexy doing it, and…That is what it is all about.

Oh sure, I heard that that IWS Matt guy reported on the air that I fell, tripped, or got knocked over three times in my first meet on the IWS Radio Show, but so what?

You know what else fell, got tripped, and or knocked over?  His FACE!!

Some people are always gonna hate.  Even gonna hate someone like me.  That’s sad.

I didn’t want to run Cross Country, but I did it to stay in shape for basketball and to be true to my school, the Matt-Man does a radio show to be true to his rude.  Ha Ha!!

Looks like somebody just leveled the playing field.  Take that, Mr. Funny Matt-Man.

Anyway, it’s my Senior year of High School, and I am going to enjoy it, because the cheerleaders love me.

You know why?

Because, I am a Senior, and...

I’m a runner and a baller, and most importantly…

In spite of my sarcastic nature and off the cuff sleights toward my dad, I think I have finally matured.

YOUR FACE STILL SUCKS,

CKND

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS

In other news...Jayman and I celebrated the end of our 2nd year on the air and we did it with style, as we talked to Shirley, Warrior Kat, and Natalie...It was awesome, so if you missed it, give it a listen: