Matt Said, Jay Said 888-727-BECK

Matt:  Helloooooooo?
Jay:  Hi.  How are you?
Matt:  I’m fine, and you?
Jay:  Okay, I guess.
Matt:  Something wrong Pumpkin?

Jay:  Eh…It’s just that talking on the phone is way overrated.

Matt:  But we do it every Sunday during our IWS Radio Show.

Jay:  Oh I know, but that’s different.

Matt:  How so?  Because we have a live audience, but during show prep calls you’re stuck talking only to me?

Jay:  Noooo, not at all.  I just think actual talking is overrated.
Matt:  I think maybe you just don’t like talking to me on a one-on-one basis.
Jay:  Not at all.  And now that you are basically calling me a liar, I think you underrate me as a person.
Matt:  Noooo, not at all.  I adore you.

Jay and Matt:  (awkward silence)

Matt:  You know who Schmoop thinks is wayyyyyyyy overrated?
Jay:  Who?
Matt:  Scarlett Johansson.
Jay:  What?  Schmoop is out of her mind!!

Matt:  I know right?  Schmoop says Scarlett is ugly.  Schmoop is crazy!!
Jay:  Hell yeah she’s crazy; I mean, just a bit.  I wouldn’t want to overrate Schmoop’s craziness.

Matt:  Y’know what Jayman?  I think we have an idea for this week’s show.
Jay:  I believe you are right.  We could talk about people…
Matt:  Places…
Jay:  And things that are either overrated
Matt:  Or underrated.

Jay:  Damn dude…Our brilliance is wayyyyy underrated.

Matt:  You and I are far more underrated than The Beatles were overrated.

Jay:  Oh my God…Buddy Acapella singing lyrics by Paul Piatt would be better than The Beatles.
Matt:  True dat, my underrated friend.

Jay:  Rev. Moneymaker may have some words for the IWS Radio congregation this weekend.
Matt:  So will Paul Piatt.

Jay:  And we may have a few surprises as well.

Matt:  And your phone calls at 661.244.9852, as we do the Overrated and Underrated Show this Sunday.

Jay:  It’s this Sunday from Noon-2 PM ET and we will also talk about how The Blaze Radio host, Doc Thompson is stealing my nearly copyrighted tag lines.

Matt:  It’s an outrage!!

Jay and Matt:  So…Join us this Sunday from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio, as IWS Radio discusses all that is overrated or underrated.

To catch us LIVE on Sunday from Noon-2 PM ET you can click right HERE. 

I Love Summer!!

Y’know?  Today is the first full day of Summer, and we are gonna have some fun, in fact…

The other day, a post that Jayman wrote reminded me of a good time summer time dream that I had had some years ago.

And please…allow me to tell to tell you how it all went down..

I was at picnic fundraiser for Sarah Palin. It was a first, kinda summer day, and …

True to her folksy, homespun carnival act personality, there were all sorts of activities that one might find at a small town America cookout during the summer.

I signed up for the three-legged race. I’ve always kinda dug that. We all threw our names in a hat and Sarah drew names to see who would partner with whom.

I was excited because I knew that if I had a decent partner I had a good shot at winning. My excitement soon became despair when Sarah named who would be tied up with me…

Stephen Fucking Hawking!!

“What a disadvantage that puts me at.” I muttered to myself.

While other pairs are running the race with three good legs, I’m going to be draggin’ Hawking down Lane 4 for 50 yards.

I was thinking to myself, “Holy Shit…Having Heather Mills as my partner would be a step up.”

Anyhoo…Hawking comes rolling up to me, and in his creepy McDonald’s Drive-Thru speaker voice, said…

“Let’s kick some ass, Matt-Man.”

So I dump his ass out of his wheelchair, and he’s laying there in all his palsied and Parkinsonian glory flippin’ and a-flappin’ around like a washed up walleye contorting on a hot rock, and I tied him to my right leg with a bungee cord and duct tape.

I dragged him and his useless body over to the starting line. There were six teams in the race, but one team in particular was giving me and The Hawk-Man the stink eye.

It was the team of Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck.

After we stared them down (well, after I stared them down, Hawking’s face was in the dirt, mumbling some incoherent bullshit about supernovas and their effect on the space/time continuum), I turned my eyes to the prize and the finish line that was 50 yards away.

Palin with bullhorn in hand, shouted, “Ready, Set…” and then several rounds from her AK-47 set each team into motion.

Despite the dead weight attached to me, I was bolting like lightning down the course…
Hawking beside me and behind me all the way, his face being bloodied by the ground as he drooled and continuously muttered, for whatever reason, “Deus ex Machina!!”

O’Reilly and Beck were leading, but as we neared the finish line lagging behind those two nut jobs, they abruptly stopped in order to deeply kiss and fondle each other’s dick.

As they engaged in their ego and cock stroking man love, I sped passed them hauling Hawking’s bouncing, crippled body beside me.

As we crossed the finish line in triumphant fashion, I realized the brilliance of Hawking. O’Reilly and Beck’s public display of depravity had been our Deus ex Machina.

I cut Hawking loose from me, gave him a bottle of Gatorade, and proceeded to have obligatory winner’s sex with Bristol Palin.

Hawking? Unable to put himself into his wheelchair, he lay there calculating exactly how long it would take him to die from over-exposure to the hot summer sun. And you know what?

That brilliant bastard predicted his sunstroke induced demise right to the nano-second, and that in itself, is pretty God Damn brilliant…and funny.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook page

Matt Said...

“We change, whether we like it or not”
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hi kids…Matt-Man here with an IWS Radio update in lieu of our regularly scheduled Saturday morning edition of Matt Said, Jay Said.

It’s that time of year when the Beer Mine at which I work loses one of its three social workers for the winter, leaving only myself and the owner Drive-By Mikey to man the operations of supplying Bagwine, Ohio drinkers and smokers with quality alcohol and tobacco products at a fair price.

Thusly, my hours of work have been changed for the next few months, and as a result, Jayman and I have had to change the hours during which we broadcast our twice weekly IWS Radio Show on BTR.

We will broadcast our next show on Monday November 26 at 11 AM ET as we re-cap our exciting Thanksgiving weekends and what not.

After that, our next show will air live on Saturday December 1 at 11 PM ET, and we will be discussing the War on Christmas as it continues to devastate the lives and common sense of the millions of Americans who watch FOX News with regularity.

Following the December 1st show, we will be back on our Wednesday at 11 AM ET routine followed by the new Saturday at 11 PM ET time slot.

So, to recapitulate…

Beginning December 1, 2012...The IWS Radio Show will air LIVE at 11 PM ET on Saturdays, and LIVE at 11 AM ET on Wednesdays.

In the meantime, Jayman and I will do a show LIVE this Monday November 26 at 11 AM ET.

I know this can be confusing for those of you who of the FOX News mentality, and trust me, I tried to get Glenn Beck and his chalkboard, and Karl Rove and his whiteboard to diagram this for you, but neither returned my calls, so…

Re-read each sentence carefully, and maybe it’ll come to you, and you won’t miss each action packed and hilarious moment of our upcoming shows.

I hope this information is helpful to you, and I would also like to say something else that is related to the IWS Radio Show.

IWS Radio has for the last couple of months, typically been Number One on BTR’s Comedy category, always in the top three, and the last couple of shows have topped 10,000 listens with one topping 16,000 listens.

We appreciate that, and hope those of you who listen regularly, keep spreading the word and help IWS grow even larger.

Jay and I laugh when we think about how just a few months ago, we were happy to get 600 listens and just have our show make it to the first page of BTR rankings.

So, thanks a lot for listening because we appreciate the hell out of it, but there’s one thing…

Could some of you call-in to the show when we do it?

I mean as much as Jay and I like talking to each other and are enamored hearing our own wit and charm cascade across the internets, we need some fresh voices!!

Have a great Saturday, a great weekend, and we hope to “see” you Monday at 11 AM ET on IWS Radio.

Cheers!!
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws

IWS Babe of the Week...It's Raining Men

It’s Sunday , so it’s IWS Babe of the Week Day, however…

We’re changing it up a bit and giving the ladies a little eye candy this Sunday, because on today’s IWS radio show at Noon ET, Matt-Man and Jayman will be asking:

“What Do Women Want?”

Perhaps some of you women enjoy refined, dignified, and more than slightly experienced uber-men like Sean Connery…

Or, perhaps some women go all 180 and prefer a pretty little, wo-man-teen-boy like Justin Bieber…

Then again…

Maybe you like a sense of humor, so you opt for a caring, yet funny man, like Chris Rock…

Or these two funny guys…

Some women, like many men, are turned on by scholarly types, like Stephen Hawking…

Or of course, America’s Libertarian genius, Glenn Beck…

Some women, shallowly like to hear whatever they want, and in that case, Mitt Romney is a fine choice…

Of course, some women like the bad boy types and want to hang out with sexy criminals who are trying to destroy America, like this foreign-born terrorist…

Then again, some women just want plain, down to Earth, sexy like George Clooney…

What’s not to like?  He’s cool.

But in order to find out what women truly want in a man, you need to join us live on IWS Radio today at Noon ET, as Matt and Jay ask, “What Do Women Want?”

It’s gonna be a huge show, so ladies…you better have your Glenn Beck/Stephen Hawking loving asses listening and calling in at 661.244.9852, and tell us what you want.

Until today at Noon ET…

Cheers!!
.

Glenn Beck is an Asshole and So is Sean Hannity...And? You Are Too, At Times

Yesterday, Jayman did a post about how each and every person should be him or herself, and should go all the way, and how perhaps, he and I should go “all the way” during our radio show.

The following is one comment among many that his treatise received…

“I've always assumed y'all were going for the Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Howard Stern (throwing that last one in there just to appease y'all) type "shock" radio. Intentionally and knowingly over the top.”

--Dana

As Jayman wrote the post, I did not respond to Dana’s comment, so I will now, as we conclude our week of angst and philosophical discussions here on IWS.

Is Dana serious?  Did she really think that Jay and I wanted to do a radio show based on Limbaugh, Beck, Hannity, and Stern?

First of all, our clandestine plan to take over social media went like this….

Jay:  You still want to do a radio show?
Matt:  Yeah…that’d be cool.
Jay:  Okay…let’s do it.

And thus a dream was born, and the world was never the same.

Jayman and I are nothing like those idiots.

First of all, unlike those aforementioned ass clowns, we actually are funny, and secondly, and maybe more importantly to some, we are exponentially more factual.

Jayman and I do not make shit up unless we are doing our Molotov Mocktails, which if anyone has half a brain knows we are making up.

We don’t lie; we speak the truth, and we just happen to make it so sincere and funny at times that it comes out as, “going over the top.”

Jayman and I are who we are.

We are not the right or left wingers like Hannity, Limbaugh, or Maddow who can find no fault in their own ideology, and we are not Stern, who thinks talking to a different naked woman every day for twenty years is funny.

We are just ourselves.

We are just Jayman and Matt-Man who aspire to make fun of ourselves, bad parents, politicians, anyone else in this world who fucks up with no regret, and drool over hot babes…

We are that simple, and…we are that brilliant.

Annnnnnnnd…maybe we will let loose, and won’t that be something?

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws