Apologies Are Being Ordered

Cheeeeeers and a Happy Hump Day to you all.

Yesterday on the IWS Radio website, Jayman, while a celebrated and internationally renown media personality, shed his stardom and called upon the strength of his own innate humility and apologized to a few folks.

His post titled, Apologies Are in Order,  inspires me today to post something similar.

As far as I am concerned, apologies are in order in my life as well, and let me tell ya, I have a list of a few people who need to be apologizing to ME!!

Time Warner Cable…The little bit of TV that I do watch happens to take place during the morning cable news shows, and for the past two weeks, you have paid to run your stupid, insidious, and unfunny, something old, something new wedding day hi-speed internet ad featuring Bill Cowher.

It runs at every God Damn break!!  Stop It!!  Just. Stop. It, and…apologize to me this second.

The Weather Channel…You already pissed me off by hiring yet another non-meteorologist in Sam Champion, but do you have to piss me off further by running an ad for his new show while I am waiting for My Local on the 8’s?

Why the hell are you running ads for his show during his show!!?  So the people watching his show won’t forget?  That’s fucking stupid, and you need to apologize to me…Now.

Beer Mine Beth…Yep.  Our new hire at the Beer Mine owes me an apology.  A huge one.  She went on vacation during Spring Break of Bagwine City Schools.  Yesterday, I saw more former Ohio Dept. of Rehab and Corrections inmates (i.e. parents) driving through with future Ohio Dept. of Rehab and Corrections inmates (i.e. their children) than I ever have in one day.

Nothing like spending a day waiting on a carload of kids who were gestated on a diet of amniotic fluid, cheap vodka, and meth trying to decide as to which kind of potato chips they would like!!

Jesus!! Take Me Now!!

Bill Pence…Mr. Pence is the owner of the soon to be defunct Corporate Imagemakers/PenceOhio Corporation and he laid-off Schmoop back in December.  Couldn't he have kept her on, and found something for her to do from like 8 A.M-11 A.M., five days a week?

Don’t get me wrong…I love the Schmoopster with all my heart, but I really miss that quiet morning time.  No talking.  No noise.  Simply me and my thoughts saying to one and other…“Ahhhhhhhhhhh.”  Yeah that dickhead needs to tell me that he is sorry for his actions.

The Two People on Facebook Who Recently Unfriended Me…I would like an apology post haste from you two ass clowns.  You know why?  I have no idea who unfriended me nor what I did.  I would much prefer that if a person unfriends me, that they would let me know it was he or she and why they did it.

In fact…That gives me a great idea.

Facebook should set it up that when a person unfriends another, it shows up on the unfriended person’s Facebook page, with the exact cause of the unfriending for all the world to see.

Ha.  That would be awesome!!

I am going to pass my idea along to Mark Zuckerberg and see if he runs with it.  If he doesn't?

That short-sighted billionaire will owe me an apology as well, because my idea is fucking brilliant!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page (and if you go there, let me know why you are unfriending me)

The Weather Channel: Sam Champion Is A White Al Roker

Imagine this…

It’s 3 A.M, and the head of the overnight Weather Channel crew calls its morning, drive-time headliner and?

The morning, drive-time headliner is not a meteorologist.

The Weather Channel has done it before, and they are doing it again.

They are hiring yet another non-meteorologist to host the morning Weather Channel program, and once again diluting the hard hitting analysis of barometric pressures and jet streams, into nothing more than a morning show about..

“Hey…longtime viewer, Grandma Juanita Jones is 98 today; which is coincidental, because that is what the high temp in Miami will be today.”

I was livid back in aught nine when The Weather Channel hired the hideous, non-meteorological, can’t lose weight on my own without a medical procedure, go on Imus to promote my book, and then hate him for dissin’ nappy-haired college basketball players even though I had been on his show for years, Al Roker.

When NBC bought out The Weather Channel and installed the non-meteorologist, weight-loss cheater, Al Roker into its sunny, wake-up spot,  I said to myself…

“The Weather Channel’s integrity has fallen faster and lower than the barometric pressure recorded when Hurricane Camille passed over Pass Christian, Mississippi back in ‘69.”

Not that the aforementioned fake weathermen would know what the hell I was talking about.

I remember the days back when The Weather Channel started, and Jim Cantore and Mark Mancuso were cutting up and giving the weather…It was awesome, but…noooooooooo.

Only doing weather wasn't good enough for either The Weather Channel nor NBC, so…when NBC bought them out, they had to add weather “reality” shows and fake weathermen.

And that is when the “for the life of me, I have no clue how this happened” famous and well-paid, Al Roker stepped in.

I loathe Al Roker because he is a phony.  He is a phony because he chose to have a medical procedure to lose weight, and more importantly, he is not a meteorologist.

And now?

Who is going to be hosting The Weather Channel’s new morning show, AMHQ?

Sam Champion. Really?

I am about to be subjected to the exponentially white, uber-creepy looking, non-meteorologist Sam Champion, who is the gay, yet fit, but no less disturbing, and much more caucasian, Al Roker.

See?

Meteorology is, among other things, color blind.  I just want a God Damn weather forecast thoughtfully and accurately reported to me by a black guy, a white guy, a hot chick…a Swedish Nazi who had a sex change…

I don’t care who the hell gives me a weather forecast, I just want to know that I am getting a quasi-accurate forecast.

And I want it from a meteorologist. Not some corporate media carnival barker who was hired to generate advertising revenue.

If it storms?

I want to know it was because there was a dry line, behind of a cold front, ahead of a warm front, and not because the, Sam Champion TorCon Rating Brought to You by Coca-Cola, is rating it an eight.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page 

Responding to Cruel and Racist Comments

Hola! Well, I finally got an anonymous response to a post here in the IWS Blog that wasn’t spam. Someone took exception to my post celebrating Asian Women, and I’m so excited that I just have to share it with you and respond to him. I say “him” because as you read the comment, it will become painfully and sadly obvious that it was written by a “him.”

Anon’s (if that’s his real name) words in bold italics.

“Oh don't be stupid.”

I see what you did there! “I’m With Stupid” … “Don’t be stupid” … So clever!

“U should just come to the place where I live.”

Are you inviting me over for dinner? Should I bring a white or red wine? Doesn’t matter, I’ll bring one of each!

The Asian chicks here are only all about themselves. All they idolize is money, status, and well,....LOOKS!!!

Oh no! Thank GOD there aren’t any other women who are like that! This may come as a shock to you, but many women (and men) of all races are this way. But, now that you’ve established that you’re a broke nobody who isn’t all that good looking, I can say that I totally relate to you on this.

Get over your stupid fetish and wake the hell up!! They are only wolves in sheep's clothing!!!

There you go playing off “stupid” again. I love it when someone commits to theme.

Don't be fooled by their submissive and all so "giving/loving & accepting" demure!!! It's all an act!! They just want to hook you and once they do,..you'll be wrapped around their tiny lil' fingers!!

Oh yeah baby! And I’ll have them wrapped around my tiny little … uh … well, let’s move on. Speaking of seeing a theme developing, you come across as a wee bit bitter here. Like maybe you’re one of these guys who women walk all over and then never respect. I’m just guessing, since I don’t actually know you.

P.s: Might I add that they themselves are racist slanted-eyed pigs!!They also worship white guys so yeah....most don't have any traditional cultural values left in them.

Now that’s just not nice at all. Again, I might be wrong here but, you’re using of “they themselves” makes me think that maybe YOU have had this accusation thrown at you in the past. Such a hurtful thing to say and you should obviously know better. Also, I’m white so the whole “worshiping white guys” thing sounds perfectly fine.

One more thing,...exotic??? China has the world's largest population....count in Koreans and Japanese,....hell they all look fucking alike so once again,...what's so exotic and special about that?????!!

You were saying something about people being “racist pigs?”  

Ever considered maybe they laugh at your jokes coz they don't quite understand 'em???

Alright! Now you’ve gone too far! They totally understand my jokes! You know why? Because I’m fucking funny, that’s why you sorry ugly racist fucking loser!(!!!!!) I mean, it’s one thing for you to come into my cyber house and launch this unprovoked, untrue and completely false attack on the most beautiful, sweet, caring, loving and all-around wonderful people in the world. I know you’re hurt and lashing out. But, to imply that I’m not funny is fucking unforgivable buddy.

Get lost asshole! And take all your excessive punctuation marks with you!

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

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In other news, we just kicked back and winged it on IWS today. We chatted about a few different things including The Weather Channel’s 30^th anniversary. Also, we had a caller who wanted to test out his American Idol audition songs with us. So, you should totally check that out! 

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

The Weather Channel 30th Anniversary...Stephanie Abrams, Hail Yes!!

Today, May 2, 2012 is a huge day for wannabe meteorologists, weather geeks, and people with too much time on their hands.

I, being each of those things, am excited to, with a voice louder and more annoying than the Emergency Broadcast System warning tone, announce the following…

“Happy 30th Anniversary to The Weather Channel!!”

That’s right, today marks 30 years on the air for The Weather Channel.

On May 2, 1982, a 24/7 network devoted entirely to weather, rained down upon and into cable systems across America flooding our lives with meteorological information, making tornados and hurricanes sexy, and assigning the rolled up shirt sleeve look to be a portend that a truly catastrophic weather event is imminent.

I truly am a weather freak, and let me tell ya, I got a hard on when at 17 years of age, late at night, in the dark, I turned on the TV and saw a hot chick standing in front of the sexiest graphic of an occluded front that I had ever seen in my life.

Oy!!  From that night on, I was hooked more than a  Doppler indicated tornado, and still am, however…

On July 20, 2009...NBC, the recently new parent company of TWC, incorporated their famous fake weatherman and hypocrite, Al “Fucking” Roker into the morning mix, with a morning show called, Wake Up with Al.

I protested to TWC directly through e-mail, and raised cane on my former website, but was told by their PR person,

“We can’t please everybody.”

As a purist when it comes to meteorology, I was pissed that TWC was going to be highlighting a non-meteorologist whose only knowledge about the weather is, that when it rains and one is out in it, one tends to get wet…and, if the sun comes out, one will probably dry off at some point.

Fuckers…NBC/GE...not TWC.

Anyhoo…

As Gastric By-Pass Boy became the new cloud hanging over my affections for TWC, his co-host, Stephanie Abrams, was and is a ray of sunshine, and let’s be as clear as a summer day in June about this, a REAL meteorologist and well…

SMOKIN’ HOT!!

Oh Dear Lord…I would love to lay atop Stephanie Abrams’ warm front, and sensing my barometer rising, wait for my updraft to bring about a downpour, and ultimately a microburst.

Even during the middle of an Ohio winter, that would be HOT!!

I tell ya…Weather systems have areas of High Pressure and/or Low Pressure, but if Stephanie Abrams and I hooked up, it would be an area of GO Pressure!!

And there you have it.  In spite of Al Roker jading the beauty that is TWC, I will always dig it, but because, and only because, of Stephanie Abrams.

Well, and because of the Local on the 8’s…I do like that, too.

Happy 30th Anniversary to The Weather Channel.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

neshoabdude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws

And be sure to check out the I'm With Stupid podcast too!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio