This Thanksgiving, Matt-Man Is Giving Til' It Hurts

With less than a week before America gluttonously celebrates Thanksgiving with food, wine, and Black
Friday shopping specials, I thought it would be nice to take time and reflect on the word Thanksgiving itself…Specifically, the last half of said word.

Giving.

While it is nice that at this time of year people trumpet with clarion call for what they are thankful, it would be nice to hear more from the trumpeting brass section of life about what people are doing in the matter of giving.

I being a humble man, hate to broadcast the many nice things I have done for others, but I feel perhaps it is time to exploit relate a couple of incidences of my generosity that I have shown recently in order to give people a push to do the same in their lives.

Recently, Jayman approached me and asked if we could not do a show this Sunday, November 23rd.  He said that he needed to spend quality time with his family in honor of Thanksgiving.  I said, “Of course, family comes first.”  However…

When Blog Talk Radio CEO Alan Levy was informed about us not doing this Sunday’s show, he with gnashing of the teeth and a less than competent posse of knife-wielding tech ninjas surrounding him said…

“You will surely do a show, or…you will surely die.”

Jayman along with a steel-spined and giving Matt-Man by his side, stood resolute…

Needless to say, we are still on Blog Talk Radio, but are not doing a show this Sunday.  And then?

The Beer Mine has a relatively new employee.  Beer Mine Beth has been with us for some seven months now and has kids…kids who desperately want, need, and hope to spend the blessed day of Thanksgiving with their mama, but…there was problem.

The Beer Mine (conveniently located at the corner of Elmore and Burnett Rd. in Bagwine, OH.) is open on Thanksgiving and Beth typically works on Thursdays.  Yours truly could not bear to envision her precious little ones spending Thanksgiving Day wiping away the tears, longing to be held in a maternal grasp while foraging on cold Beefaroni, so…

I told Beer Mine Beth that I would work Thanksgiving Day for her.  Sure I know…I could be spending it at home with my family, but, well…my family understands that the Welcome Mat laid upon the stoop of my heart and good-nature is one that reads:  “Wipe your troubles from off your feet; and at my giving table, please have a seat.”

Sure, it’s a pretty large welcome mat that contains that message, but let me tell you…the front porch of my heart is big enough to display it.

And well…That’s what I am all about this Thanksgiving...giving.  In fact, while some folks call me Matt-Man, some call me Matt, and others even call me Matty.  For all of the giving that I have been giving this Thanksgiving, I want to be known as the Amattican Red Cross.

Please follow my Christ-Like example, and as always…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
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Apologies Are Being Ordered

Cheeeeeers and a Happy Hump Day to you all.

Yesterday on the IWS Radio website, Jayman, while a celebrated and internationally renown media personality, shed his stardom and called upon the strength of his own innate humility and apologized to a few folks.

His post titled, Apologies Are in Order,  inspires me today to post something similar.

As far as I am concerned, apologies are in order in my life as well, and let me tell ya, I have a list of a few people who need to be apologizing to ME!!

Time Warner Cable…The little bit of TV that I do watch happens to take place during the morning cable news shows, and for the past two weeks, you have paid to run your stupid, insidious, and unfunny, something old, something new wedding day hi-speed internet ad featuring Bill Cowher.

It runs at every God Damn break!!  Stop It!!  Just. Stop. It, and…apologize to me this second.

The Weather Channel…You already pissed me off by hiring yet another non-meteorologist in Sam Champion, but do you have to piss me off further by running an ad for his new show while I am waiting for My Local on the 8’s?

Why the hell are you running ads for his show during his show!!?  So the people watching his show won’t forget?  That’s fucking stupid, and you need to apologize to me…Now.

Beer Mine Beth…Yep.  Our new hire at the Beer Mine owes me an apology.  A huge one.  She went on vacation during Spring Break of Bagwine City Schools.  Yesterday, I saw more former Ohio Dept. of Rehab and Corrections inmates (i.e. parents) driving through with future Ohio Dept. of Rehab and Corrections inmates (i.e. their children) than I ever have in one day.

Nothing like spending a day waiting on a carload of kids who were gestated on a diet of amniotic fluid, cheap vodka, and meth trying to decide as to which kind of potato chips they would like!!

Jesus!! Take Me Now!!

Bill Pence…Mr. Pence is the owner of the soon to be defunct Corporate Imagemakers/PenceOhio Corporation and he laid-off Schmoop back in December.  Couldn't he have kept her on, and found something for her to do from like 8 A.M-11 A.M., five days a week?

Don’t get me wrong…I love the Schmoopster with all my heart, but I really miss that quiet morning time.  No talking.  No noise.  Simply me and my thoughts saying to one and other…“Ahhhhhhhhhhh.”  Yeah that dickhead needs to tell me that he is sorry for his actions.

The Two People on Facebook Who Recently Unfriended Me…I would like an apology post haste from you two ass clowns.  You know why?  I have no idea who unfriended me nor what I did.  I would much prefer that if a person unfriends me, that they would let me know it was he or she and why they did it.

In fact…That gives me a great idea.

Facebook should set it up that when a person unfriends another, it shows up on the unfriended person’s Facebook page, with the exact cause of the unfriending for all the world to see.

Ha.  That would be awesome!!

I am going to pass my idea along to Mark Zuckerberg and see if he runs with it.  If he doesn't?

That short-sighted billionaire will owe me an apology as well, because my idea is fucking brilliant!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
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