Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Apologies are in Order

Holaaaaa y’all! I had something I was thinking of writing about for today, but we work on deadlines here at IWS and I’m not finished (over)thinking about this subject so I’ll just have to ramble about other stuff. I will write about that other subject on Thursday. Or not. I might give up on it or forget about it or just think it to death. Overthinking about things is my specialty ya know?

So, I was listening to Bret Easton Ellis breathe heavily into his microphone on his podcast today thinking to myself “Damn, I’m glad I don’t do that cause that’s annoying” when I suddenly said to myself  “I bet he makes those same sounds when he blows his boyfriend.”  Then I wondered why I that thought would enter my head. I couldn’t think of a reason why though. It seemed strange to think that. He was talking about his boyfriend and maybe subconsciously I thought that and it made its way to my conscious. Hell, I don’t know.

I then felt bad about that. I mean that’s a pretty rude and crude thing to think. Saying it out loud would probably embarrass me. No Matt, it doesn’t make me gay either. I actually felt like I should apologize to Bret for even thinking that though. Not that he would give a shit. He’s pretty impervious to criticism if I did email him about this he would just dismiss it and possibly correct my grammar. Who needs that kind of heartache?

Speaking of apologizing, I actually apologized to myself the other day. No, it wasn’t some self-help therapy exercise or anything like that. It was an accident. It just happened. I was listening to The Writer’s Bloc podcast and as it was just about over I decided that I would go ahead and subject myself to Lena Dunham on Marc Maron’s WTF Podcast. Then, for some reason I unplugged my headset from my laptop.

As soon as I did that, I plugged it right back and in and said “oh, sorry!” out loud. I have no idea why I did that or what brought it on. I wasn’t particularly upset with myself for unplugging the headset. It didn’t cost me anything or hurt anything. It was simple enough to plug it right back in there. So why apologize? I guess I was just worried that I might have done something to upset myself. Or something.

I’ve also enjoyed reading everyone’s tweets and posts about the movie “Noah” starring Russell Crowe and Emma Watson and a few others. It’s interesting to see how people react to the movie and how dismissive some are about its accuracy. Unlike everyone else on Facebook and Twitter I’m no biblical scholar (or lawyer, or Russia expert, or doctor … damn, ya’ll are all so much smarter and better educated than me! Not to mention better looking. That makes me feel bad about myself. I should probably apologize to myself or someone about this too.)

It’s not like the story of Noah in the Bible is hundreds of pages long or all that detailed. If you want to make a move about it, you’re gonna have to embellish a bit. What I found especially funny though was that while people were posting about all the inaccuracies of the movie and how it wasn’t “authentic” and shit, nobody included the fact that Noah and his family were played by white people with British and Australian accents. Seems to me that THAT would be pointed out as the FIRST inaccurate thing about the movie.

Okay, that’s all I’ve got. Sorry.


I'm With Stupid said...

It's unfortunate that God only gave Noah forty lines in the Bible. Had God gone into more detail, the movie may have been funnier. God fucked this movie up. Cheers Jayman!!


Katy Anders said...

It's amazing how many biblical scholars there are online. Out here in my world, I can't even find anyone to explain to me how I can transfer a call, but online, everyone is an expert on Scripture and economics, and Islam and glaciation.

Presumably, the movie doesn't go into the part where Noah gets drunk and naked and one of his kids looks at his nakedness so God makes that kid the first black person, right?

I'm With Stupid said...

Matt-Man: I see no reason why the story of Noah couldn't be turned into a comedy.


I'm With Stupid said...

Katy: Not only is that drunk and naked scene in there, a lot of my very religious friends claim that part was made up by the liberals in Hollywood and it never actually happened. ha!


jAMiE said...

Gosh, I'm sorry I didn't read this sooner.

Sorry Jay!