Britt McHenry Can't Wait To Be On Tomorrow's IWS Radio Show!!

Hi All...Britt McHenry here, and I want to tell you all about this week's stupid, toothless, and
uneducated IWS Radio Show that will be aired on a money grubbing podcast forum known as Blog Talk Radio.

Jay, Matt, and the "need to lose more than a few pounds" comedy team at IWS Radio, are going to talk about their pet peeves this Sunday LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET on that lame ass Blog Talk Radio platform.

Really?  How can losers have pet peeves when their entire lives should be their own pet peeves?

Anyhoo...

Even though it doesn't make sense, I heard that I am going to be talked about so, it is probably worth the listen, and if it really matters, other than my perfect and gorgeous being, here is what Jay, Matt, and the bone-headed IWS Radio schlups will be talking about...

Jay and Matt are angry man; they're really angry. Why? Because it's getting warm and people are starting to get out and about and bringing along with them their annoying habits that piss Jay, Matt, and other right-minded folks flat, freaking off.

Babies are crying in restaurants, shopping carts aren't being put back in the cart corral, turn signals have evidently become optional, political pundits are already blabbering about 2016, and "social" media giant Facebook is excoriating people who just want to make friends.

Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team are sharing their list of people, habits, and things that are annoying the hell out them, so listen live and join the fun with your pet peeves and your phone calls at 661.244.9852 as IWS Radio presents: Jay and Matt Are Petting Their Peeves.

Boy...Sounds as funny as having one's car towed by a bunch of dumb ass inbreeds who think that a truck with dualies and a hydraulic wench entitles them to usurp cars and make pretty girls look bad on camera.

Anyway, as I said...I'll be on the show, so...it's worth giving a listen to, so join Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team LIVE tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET  as they present: Jay And Matt Are Petting Their Peeves.

Go to Hell Assholes,

Britt McHenry

Arkansas Razorbacks Fans are Stupid and Rude

Holaaaaaaaaaa! So, a week or so ago the Arkansas Razorbacks went to Ames, Iowa to play Iowa State in men’s basketball. The Hogs started off the game playing like shit, improved to just mediocre for a while and ended like quitters. The next day I thought I’d see if anyone in an Arkansas sports group I belong to on Facebook wanted to discuss what went wrong.

I got banned from the group before I could save the comment thread, but what follows is VERY close to accurate, especially the name calling and insults directed at me. I tend to remember those.  My comments in bold, responses in italics.

J: “Seems like every time the Hogs have a chance to make a big splash they drown. Gotta start at least being competitive in these games. We only get a handful of chances.”

Stephen comments: “You’re a moron! GTFOH Man!”

J: “What do you think went wrong last night?”

Stephen:  “ISU just had a good night. That’s all.”

J: “Well they did play really great. We seem to make a lot of people look really great though.”

Stephen: “So you’re giving up after only one loss? Some fan you are.”

Now Vicky joins the thread: “If you’re gonna be this bitchy and attack the players like this after only one unfortunate performance you better not show up pretending to be a fan when we win the next big game we play!”

J: “Whoa! I think that’s a bit of an exaggeration of what I said Vicky.”

Vicky responds with “Excuse me???? Whatever!”

Now James shows up with “Guys, just ignore him. He’s a sad, fat fag who is always angry and hates the UofA”

Vicky responds “Well, being gay is his choice if he is, but he most definitely hates the Hogs and is a very angry man.”

J: “Wow this is a really rough crowd here. Love all the name calling and personal attacks though. That’s always a nice touch.”

Stephen returns with “Hey! You’re the one who started the attacks with the cheap shot at the team. I don’t know if what James said is right, but I do suspect you’re probably just a racist who wouldn’t be happy unless we had an all-white team and coaching staff and played Princeton style offense.”

Then quick like bunny Darryl showed up with this gem: “Seriously Jason. Just get the fuck out of here and leave this group to the real fans that actually support the team you POS.”

Then Vicky comes back for more: “I bet you’re the kind of guy who always picks Arkansas to lose when we play a big game.”

J: “Well, Vicky I try to be realistic about these things and when it’s clear that the other team is better than us then yes, I pick them to beat us. Don’t you?”

Vicky fires back “HELL NO! I always pick Arkansas to win! If we were 0-30 and were playing a 30-0 Kentucky team in Lexington I would still pick Arkansas to win! That’s what a REAL HOG FAN does!”

Now Walter shows up with “I think Jason needs a timeout from this group considering his personal attacks on female members. That’s pretty uncalled or dude. You’re a real asshole.”

Vicky finishes her part with “Fuck that fag!”

It was at this point that I clicked on the link to the group to find that he had been kicked out.  Gosh that was fun. My fellow Arkansas fans are swell. What REALLY sucks is that Arkansas followed up that loss by losing to a shitty Clemson team that couldn't even beat a super-shitty Rutgers team AT HOME! Man, I came *THIS CLOSE* to creating a new fake Facebook page and joining that group again just to say "TOLDJA!!!" 

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Friend me on Facebook
Follow me on Twitter

Instant Karma Is Gonna Get You!!

Cheeeeeeeers Chuckleheads!!

It’s good to see you all on this most inspiring first Tuesday in September.

Jayman and I put on one helluva IWS Radio show this past Sunday, and if you missed it LIVE, you can catch all the hilarity right HERE.  And trust me, we had a topless babe on the air, and it was HOT!!

Anyhoo…

Many people in my life, and no I am not kidding Jayman and others, think I am far too nice to people.  One of whom who thinks this, is my boss, and owner of the Beer Mine at which I work, Drive-By Mikey.

Don’t get me wrong, while we do sell a ton o’ beer everyday, 95% of the folks who come through are pleasant and behaved, but…

The other 5% can be rude, self-absorbed, whiny, stupid assholes.

I nearly always rise above the instances of a jerk coming through, and Mike has often told me, “Man, you are too nice sometimes; I would have told that jerk to go to hell.”

I have always and to this day do respond…

“Eh, it wasn’t time to jump on him (or her), but no worries, I keep notes of people on a Rolodex in my head.”

After I say that, Mike usually responds, “Whatever.”  Because that is something that I have always told Mike about me that he doesn't understand...that being…

Patience is not only a virtue…it’s a well-conceived time bomb.

See?  Two weeks ago, this dude in a pick em up truck came through and asked for a 12 pack of Miller Lite and a bag of ice.

I gave said thirsty man his order.  He drove outside of the Beer Mine, out the contents in his cooler, and thennnn…He came into the office with empty box and plastic bag, and said, “Here, trash.”

I thought to myself…”Oh no you didn't just do that?”  But I bit my tongue and took it.

Last week, he came through and ordered the same thing, and wouldn't you know..?  He brought me his trash again and never uttered a word!!  No at word of “thanks”.  Not a word of, “Is this okay?”  Not a word of,  “Do you mind?”

To which I said to myself…

“Y’know Lord…I try to be a good person.  I try to live by your word. In fact, other than my occasional drunkenness which I confine to my home (and on my Facebook page), I try to be a non-judgmental, get along, go along kinda guy…but if this rude motherfucker ever comes through here again, I am going to pass judgment.”

Well my friends, yesterday Rude Man came through, and it was Judgment Day!!

He ordered a 12 pack of Miller Lite, and a small bag of ice.

The order came to $12.10.

The man only had $12.00, so he asked me…

“Can you front me a dime?”

Oh Dear God!!  The responses that ran through my mind!!  Five hours of responses that actually lit up every synapse in my brain in a mere two seconds.

I said to rude Mr. Trash Man…

“Aren't you the guy who gives me your trash every week?  That’s pretty rude.”

He responded, “I could have just thrown it in your lot.”

“Or you could have thrown your trash into the bed of your truck like most people do.”, I said.

And as Mikey came out to see what was going on, he heard…

“So you won’t give me dime?”

And I said, “Nope, because you are rude.”

And the dude said, “I guess I’ll take my business elsewhere.” and then he drove off.

After that, Mike and I did the fist hit and Mike said…

“After ten years in this business, I have come to realize that if we could just kick the assholes out and break even, it would be better than making a lot of money dealing with them, and I see now why you have that stupid Rolodeck or whatever that you talk about.”

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Dzhokar Tsarnaev and Rolling Stone...Sympathy For The Devil

Cheers Chuckleheads and Happy Friday to you all!

It seems that there is a firestorm brewing over a cup of stewing, and steeping American tea.

Rolling Stone magazine will soon be coming out with their August 1 issue which has Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's picture on it.

While I am a rabble rouser at heart, I must say….

It’s okayyyyyyyyyy.

It’s okay that Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s picture is on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, because unlike what right wing radio, and FOX News are telling you, it’s not a story about what a good guy that turned out not to be the well-developed American that he portrayed to be.

It’s a story about how he was a good guy, who received gladly, I might add, all of the blessings and frivolity that is America, and somehow, after his immigration from the Land of the Lost that is Russia and/or Whateverstan, enjoyed for years the freedom of America, and then, for whatever reason said through word and action…

“Innocent Americans Must Die.”

Why you gotta do that Dzhokhar?  I mean, c’mon?  You had it all you dumb fuck.

Look at yourself….Good looking kid.  Captain of the HS wrestling team.  I bet you had your choice of chicks…if you never had to bring them ‘round your brother’s house…

Dzhokhar Tsarnaev had it all, and he gave it up in order to kill innocent children and policemen and forever disrupt the lives of people whom he has never met, all the while…

Being one of the good kids down the street, as people who have never read Rolling Stone’s depiction of him illustrates.

Well folks, the Rolling Stone depiction of Tsarnaev in the article, if you take the time to read it, is less than glamorous.  It depicts him as he is, a terrorist.

The article talks about things like the face of terrorism dwells next door to us, in an American kid like us… within us.

It isn’t an article of glamorization of Tsarnaev, it is a warning that killers, terrorists, and those who do harm, come in all sizes, colors, shapes, and backgrounds.

And sometimes…they look, act, and pretend to feel just like “us.”

I hear a lot of complaints that “our” government won’t get off its collective ass…but do you ever see the ones posting such krill ever do that with informative ideas?  Or alternatives?

No, because they are scared...

And that is how it is with the Rolling Stone/ Dzhokhar Tsarnaev “incident.”

Many people are “outraged”, and while not knowing why, they say things like, “Boston Forever!!”

Y’know..?

Shut the Fuck Up.  Dzhokhar Tsarnaev lived in Beantown.  He was a Bostonian, and by all accounts, one helluva good guy.

And for what it’s worth,…Dzhokar Tsarnaev got sucked in by his loser brother, was sold a bill of Anti-American goods because his loser boxer brother couldn’t make it, and then?

Dzhokar said to himself…

“Just like the Doctor Hook song says…On the cover of the Rolling Stone…”

The thing is…Rolling Stone, unknown to the less than informed, is a great source of true journalism.  They write, print, and publish the facts, and have been for years.

They continue to do so in the Tsarnaev matter, and if you don’t like him being on their latest cover?

Fuck you…it’s journalism at its best.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

IWS Babe of the Week: I Like My Bitches Hot and Rude

Today on the IWS Radio Show from Noon-2 PM ET we will be talking rude people, but as it is Babe of the Week day on the IWS website, we are celebrating rude bitches that make us HOT!!

Diva...Princess...Nayyyyy, QUEEN!!  The epitome of beauty, brains, and boldfaced bitchiness...Raquel Welch.  Spank Me Foxy Roxy and make it hurt, 'cause I know you want it to!!

Oh sure...On the surface Lucy VanPelt seems nice, but below those raven locks lurks a heart of pure sarcasm, loathing, and abuse.  That's HOT!!

Now.  Who is this you ask?  This is Sherri...A MILF and last week's guest on the IWS Radio Mothers' Day Show.  Doesn't she look sweet?

She may be an nurse, an Angel of Mercy if you will, but...She's obviously no Florence Nightingale...RUDE!!

Lastly...We have sexy supermodel and hip hugger to John Legend, Christine Teigen...Oh she's hotter than the metal rod of a recently spent sparkler, but man...Read her comments on Twitter and wow...Duh bitch is ruder than her hotness!!  We like that...

Alot...

So here's to all of the hot, rude chicks out there.  Long may your sarcasm and breasts wave.

Catch Jayman, Matt-Man and the entire IWS Radio gang today LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio as they discuss rude people...Unlike these hot, rude chicks, things are gonna get ugly!!

You can catch the action LIVE by clicking HERE...

Matt Said, Jay Said 202.456.1111

Matt alleges, Jay implies, You misunderstand

Matt: Yelllllllow.
Jay:
Matt: Hello?
Jay:
Matt: Are you there?
Jay:
Matt: Hellllllloooooooooooooo???????
Jay:
Matt: Did you call me to give me the silent treatment?
Jay: Holaaaaaaaaaaa
Matt: What the hell man?
Jay: What?
Matt: Where were you?
Jay: I was right here?
Matt: I couldn’t hear you.
Jay: Really?
Matt: Yes, really!
Jay: That’s weird. You must have phone trouble.
Matt: I guess so.
Jay: Might get that checked out.
Matt: Might. OR … you might make sure your mic is unmuted.
Jay: Well, that too.

Jay: You know what we should do?
Matt: Move to Vegas, put it all on black and let it ride.
Jay: Uh … We could do that.
Matt: What was your idea?
Jay: We should interview celebrities on the show.
Matt: My idea is better.
Jay: Depends on which cool celebs we can get.
Matt: My idea has a better chance of working too.
Jay: Celebs equal page vies.
Matt: True.
Jay: And higher show ratings.
Matt: Talk to me Goose.
Jay: Ratings equal Internet Fame
Matt: More than we have now?
Jay: Lots! And that means …
Matt: MONEY?
Jay: REALITY TV SHOW!
Matt: Oh.
Jay: Well, that’s not so bad.
Matt: Yeah, we would get paid.
Jay: And we could be CONTROVERSIAL!
Matt: Then we would be …
Jay: Say it!
Matt: INFAMOUS!!
Jay: Hell yeah!

Matt: But first, we need a show topic.
Jay: Rude people.
Matt: Who?
Jay: No, that’s the topic … Rude People!
Matt: Oh man, I’ve dealt with my share of them!
Jay: Me too. We could tell rude people stories.
Matt: Bad customer service.
Jay: Rude people in history!
Matt: Rude people on Social Media.
Jay: Rare times when WE have been rude.
Matt: If we have time.
Jay: Right. Also, opposite of rude!
Matt: People who have done or said nice things.
Jay: Without expecting anything in return.
Matt: We can do it!
Jay: BOOM! We’re set.
Matt: Gonna be another monster!
Jay: Unless I win the Powerball.
Matt: You would leave me?
Jay: Nooooooooo! Never.
Matt: Oh good. I was a worried there for a bit.
Jay: Well worry not Mattinator!
Matt: Okay, we’re ready!
Jay: Brilliant!

Be sure to tune in for “People: They’re the Worst” on IWS Radio tomorrow at 12 Noon ET! 

I Guess it's Bitch Week

Hola y’all! Well, it’s turned into Bitch Week here at I’m With Stupid.  I posted about people I’ve had enough of on Monday, Matt-Man did the same yesterday  and I’m continuing the list today.

- People who post a question on Twitter asking their followers to look something up. 

Really? Everyone on Twitter is your fucking secretary? People are just supposed to drop what they’re doing to look something up for you? That’s so fucking stupid. Besides, in the time it took you to Tweet, you could have just Googled it yourself dumb ass.

- People who believe crazy conspiracy theories. 

I have a couple of Facebook Friends who keep posting links to some video that claims to “tell the truth” about what “REALLY” happened in the Sandy Hook shootings. It’s just stunning to me that people are so willing to show off their stupidity publicly like that. How embarrassing.

Yeah, I know Obama’s coming for your guns. Jesus, this level of stupidity is just embarrassing. Do you really think background checks are going to prevent YOU from owning your guns? Hey, if you don’t have anything to hide, you don’t have anything to worry about!

- People who tell celebrities to “shut up.” 

Ever notice how people who complain about celebrities expressing their political views only do so when a celebrities says something they disagree with? Weird how that works. You don’t want celebrities to shut up, you want everyone who has an opinion that you don’t like to shut up.

Of course when you agree with a celebrity you not only have no problem with them, you ReTweet, ReBlog or Share whatever they say. Hell, I saw some people on Facebook sharing a post by a celebrity complaining about celebrities expressing their opinions. Really weird.

- Rude fucking people. 

My God they’re everywhere! Every day people become less and less respectful of others. People like my upstairs neighbor who sometimes comes home at 2:30 AM and vacuums. Yes! Vacuums at 2:30 in the fucking morning! You might think he’s just trying to be an asshole, but he’s not. He would have to give a shit about someone other than himself or have a little respect for others first. But, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know anyone else in this world even exists.

You see people like him all day long. They stand around in front of you in line talking on their phone, holding others up and generally annoying everyone. They weave all over the road or slow way down because they’re busy texting someone. They make all kinds of noise at the movie theater talking, texting or yelling at the screen. They throw their trash on the ground or at a trash can and miss but don’t pick it up. They stand outside the front door of a public building smoking and blowing their smoke at people trying to get in or out and then they throw their cigarette butts on the ground. It goes and on and on and on. It’s enough to make you never want to go out in public again.

- People who are always in the middle of some drama. 

There are far too many people who are always just looking to start or jump into the middle of some kind of drama. They pretend that they were insulted, or insult someone or post some stupid passive-aggressive crybaby shit online and then it just goes on all day long.

And worst of all, people post all these vague posts referencing the “drama” that’s going on but won’t link to any of it so I will know what the fuck they’re talking about. I NEVER know what is going on or who are beefing and while so many people I follow post about it, they never tell me who it is. Pisses me off!

And then there are the people who start a blog post with “There’s a lot going on right now, but I can’t talk about it.” Well then don’t fucking mention it at all!


Okay, that’s enough for now. Maybe I’ll have more later unless I can get it all out of my system during our Bitch Session on the live IWS Podcast Wednesday at 11 AM ET! Call in at let us know who or what is pissing YOU off!

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS 

What an Insensitive Prick

Hola *insert word offensive to many people here*.  Let me quickly give you three examples of my being insensitive and saying stupid things.

- When I was managing the pizza joint back in college, there was a really sweet and cute blind chick that would come up there every Sunday afternoon with her Seeing Eye dog and get a small pizza and sit and chat for a while. We always had a good time talking about whatever was going on whether it was politics, sports, local gossip, school or other stuff. Also, he dog loved me. Probably because I fed him some of the bacon we put on the pizzas.

One day we were talking about how stupid politicians are and the way they pander to the lowest common denominator and how that seems to get them reelected, but leaves them unable to actually govern. And, at one point she said “I just don’t know why they do these things.” To which I cleverly replied “Because they’re blind to the reality of what they’re doing.”

*crickets*

Hell, even the dog was shaking his head in bitter disappointment. The girl quickly moved the conversation along with a “They only see what they want to see.” Which shows how nice she is, but I was so freaking embarrassed. Soon after that she picked up her pizza and went home with the dog still looking at me like I was the most insensitive guy in the world. She kept coming to the store for the rest of the semester, but I never saw her again after the semester ended.

See? “SAW her again?” I did it again! Jeez I’m an asshole!

Fast forward to this last week:

- I was getting a package of bone-in, skin-on chicken breasts and there was a little old lady was digging through the packages of thighs. When she got what she wanted and turned around I was, of course, in her way. I said excuse me and moved and she smiled and said “I have dig around for a small package since it’s just me and I don’t need those big ones or the family pack.”

Being the smooth operator I am, I replied “Well, at least you get to get whatever you want though.” She just smiled and told me to have a nice day.

Poor little old lady is all alone. Probably a widow! He kids never come to visit! And what do I do? Tell her how great that is. 

What. A. Jerk.

- My good friend CatcherDudesMom had a very bad week last week. Her uncle died early in the week and then on Friday night her aunt passed away. After she tweeted what had happened I tweeted back to her my condolences and told her she was in my thoughts and prayers. I was completely sincere in this.

However, about an hour later I went to Facebook to play my turn on my Words With Friends games and in the game against CDM I played the word “DEADER!”

OH MY GOD!  I’M A MONSTER!  

I would love to say those are the only three times I’ve done something like this. But, fact is, I’ve done things like this pretty much all my life. Some people call me “thoughtless.” I prefer to use the word “irreverent.” Even though I know it mostly comes from my shyness and lack of social skills, I would really love to stop doing things like this.

But, I know I won’t. So, I’ll just pre-apologize for all the insensitive things I’ll say and awkward situations I’ll cause to each and every one of you out there at some point.

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

People Continue to Suck

Hola Bitches! Speaking of Cold and Flu Season, and we were …

You know, we spend a lot of time in this country making fun of people we run into at Walmart. And with good reason too. Some of the most ridiculous members of society frequent that place. Not to mention some of the most violent like to go there on Black Friday.

But you know what? Walgreens isn’t much of a step up. Just because people are paying outrages and honestly, sometimes offensive prices for the same stuff they could get at Walmart much cheaper, doesn’t mean they’re a better class of shopper. These people will walk right in front of you and stand there even though it’s obvious you were looking at something on the shelf too.

They’ll run into an old friend, or someone they talk to every day, and stand there blocking the aisle talking and not care who they are inconveniencing just like Walmarters will. They’ll let their demon spawn run free pretty much everywhere also. And, they’ll wait until everything is rung up and THEN get their checkbook out. This is one of my favorite things people do. So fucking annoying.

But, it’s over at the pharmacy where things always get interesting. Walgreen’s pharmacy does the same thing banks do. Despite the fact that they get really busy during lunchtime when people are trying to run in and pick up their prescriptions, they allow their people to go to lunch during that busy time too, rather than earlier or later than the “noon rush.” I just don’t understand this.

However, as I said, it’s the customers who make going there really special. Just the other day I was there and there was a bit of a line. I decided since I was already there, I would just stay and stand in line. The lady sitting in a chair informed me that she was in line, but felt too bad to stand, which was perfectly understandable.

So, as we’re waiting, she starts talking about how cold it is and how she wished she had never moved back here from Florida where she had lived the last eight years. She kept talking about the great weather there, living five minutes from the beach, there was so much to do there and on and on and on.

Then, as the line was getting smaller she got up and took her place in front of me. She then turned to me and said “And, in eight years in Florida I never got sick once! But, I move back here and I have had two colds and now pneumonia.”

When I finally got to the counter they told me that the prescription hadn’t been filled yet and it was “on the truck” and would not be available for a while.

So, I stood there in line with Ratso Rizzo’s long lost sister spewing her pneumonia germs right in my face while talking about how great Florida is compared to Arkansas and they didn’t even have the prescription that they were given three days advance notice to fill. How freaking great is that?

And people wonder why I wish I lived in a place where everything from prescriptions to beer to groceries can be ordered online and then delivered and you never have to deal with people.

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS

--

In other news, last Saturday on I’m With Stupid we talked writing. Books, writers, authors and a little bit about writing styles and blogging. Good friend of the show Mike called in so he could make his voice heard too.

It was an excellent show and an all-around good time for all. So, check it out if you get the chance and don’t hesitate to tell your friends about us.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio