We're Setting Kids Up for Failure and They Deserve It

Holaaaaaaaaaaaaa! So, the other day I’m hanging out with the Jaymom when this happens…

Jaymom: M.E. is gotta go to Little Rock cause for her granddaughter’s graduation.
Jay: She’s graduating? Already?
Jaymom: And going to Central next year and will be a cheerleader.
Jay: That’s great, I guess.
Jaymom: And they’re coming up here for the 4^th of July and the granddaughter doesn’t want to. So M.E. told them “maybe she could stay with a friend” and M.E’s son said “NO! The family is going to spend the 4^th together and that means she will be with the family!”

Jay: Well okay then. I’m sure she’ll be so pleasant to be around.
Jaymom: I told M.E. she just has to hang on for two more years and she’ll be 18 and he can’t control her anymore.
Jay: True. Wait … You said she graduated and was going to Univ. of Central Arkansas next year.
Jaymom: What? Oh no! She graduated junior high and is going to Central High in Little Rock next year.

Jay: Oh for crying out loud! No … No … No … You only graduate TWICE! When you graduate high school and when you graduate college. That’s it! That’s the graduation list! You don’t graduate from pre-school and kindergarten and grade school and middle school and junior high school. Just high school and college. Sure, you can get advanced degrees and shit, but that’s all a bonus and doesn’t hold the same significance.

This is part of what’s wrong with kids today you know? They finish high school and they already have a wall full of diplomas and they think they’ve accomplished so damn much when in fact they haven’t accomplished a damn thing. It’s not like getting a high school diploma is all that difficult to do. I mean, if you’re a really crappy student you get passed along under what they call “social promotion” so you are around people in your own age group and if you put out any effort whatsoever at all you finish with a good enough GPA to get into community college or most state schools.

That’s why they started all this Advanced Placement crap. That’s the group of kids who have rich parents, parents who are “prominent” members of the community, or parents who are on the school board or are just popular kids. This is where the real grade inflation takes place. They get extra credit for being in these AP classes so they can separate them from the poor kids and middle class kids. That’s why the top dozen graduates all have over a 4.00 gpa!

So then you have these kids who have never struggled, never had to deal with any adversity graduating high school and they think their lives are gonna be so cushy and easy. Especially kids from these rich families. Nobody has ever said “no” to them and it never crosses their mind that someone might actually say “no” to them someday. So, the first time things go badly for them they fall apart.

Girls run into adversity and they become bitter feminists or start developing terrible self-confidence issues and maybe even an eating disorder and that just makes things worse. Aaaaaaaand the first time a boy gets told “no” will be by a girl and he’ll be so enraged that he will start calling all women “whores” and “cunts” and other names and eventually he’ll grab a couple of semi-automatic guns and mow down the neighborhood or shoot up a movie theater!

ALL BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN CODDLED SINCE CHILDHOOD AND HAVE A WALL FULL OF FAKE ACCOMPLISHMENTS THAT GAVE THEM A HUGE SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT AND DIDN’T PREPARE THEM FOR HOW THE REAL WORLD WORKS!

Jaymom: *blink* *blink* …. Do you feel better?
Jay: A little
Jaymom: Wanna get pizza and watch a movie on Netflix?
Jay: Sure!

Jayman3768@gmail.com
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I Guess it's Bitch Week

Hola y’all! Well, it’s turned into Bitch Week here at I’m With Stupid.  I posted about people I’ve had enough of on Monday, Matt-Man did the same yesterday  and I’m continuing the list today.

- People who post a question on Twitter asking their followers to look something up. 

Really? Everyone on Twitter is your fucking secretary? People are just supposed to drop what they’re doing to look something up for you? That’s so fucking stupid. Besides, in the time it took you to Tweet, you could have just Googled it yourself dumb ass.

- People who believe crazy conspiracy theories. 

I have a couple of Facebook Friends who keep posting links to some video that claims to “tell the truth” about what “REALLY” happened in the Sandy Hook shootings. It’s just stunning to me that people are so willing to show off their stupidity publicly like that. How embarrassing.

Yeah, I know Obama’s coming for your guns. Jesus, this level of stupidity is just embarrassing. Do you really think background checks are going to prevent YOU from owning your guns? Hey, if you don’t have anything to hide, you don’t have anything to worry about!

- People who tell celebrities to “shut up.” 

Ever notice how people who complain about celebrities expressing their political views only do so when a celebrities says something they disagree with? Weird how that works. You don’t want celebrities to shut up, you want everyone who has an opinion that you don’t like to shut up.

Of course when you agree with a celebrity you not only have no problem with them, you ReTweet, ReBlog or Share whatever they say. Hell, I saw some people on Facebook sharing a post by a celebrity complaining about celebrities expressing their opinions. Really weird.

- Rude fucking people. 

My God they’re everywhere! Every day people become less and less respectful of others. People like my upstairs neighbor who sometimes comes home at 2:30 AM and vacuums. Yes! Vacuums at 2:30 in the fucking morning! You might think he’s just trying to be an asshole, but he’s not. He would have to give a shit about someone other than himself or have a little respect for others first. But, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know anyone else in this world even exists.

You see people like him all day long. They stand around in front of you in line talking on their phone, holding others up and generally annoying everyone. They weave all over the road or slow way down because they’re busy texting someone. They make all kinds of noise at the movie theater talking, texting or yelling at the screen. They throw their trash on the ground or at a trash can and miss but don’t pick it up. They stand outside the front door of a public building smoking and blowing their smoke at people trying to get in or out and then they throw their cigarette butts on the ground. It goes and on and on and on. It’s enough to make you never want to go out in public again.

- People who are always in the middle of some drama. 

There are far too many people who are always just looking to start or jump into the middle of some kind of drama. They pretend that they were insulted, or insult someone or post some stupid passive-aggressive crybaby shit online and then it just goes on all day long.

And worst of all, people post all these vague posts referencing the “drama” that’s going on but won’t link to any of it so I will know what the fuck they’re talking about. I NEVER know what is going on or who are beefing and while so many people I follow post about it, they never tell me who it is. Pisses me off!

And then there are the people who start a blog post with “There’s a lot going on right now, but I can’t talk about it.” Well then don’t fucking mention it at all!


Okay, that’s enough for now. Maybe I’ll have more later unless I can get it all out of my system during our Bitch Session on the live IWS Podcast Wednesday at 11 AM ET! Call in at let us know who or what is pissing YOU off!

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS 

People I've Had Enough Of

Hola y’all! Man, some people are really getting on my nerves lately. Here’s a short list of the people who are pissing me off the most right now…

- People on Twitter who tweet about something awesome but don’t link to it. Cause linking to it is anti-hipster or something. Every day I see shit like this:

“OMG! Dr. Peter Wankmeoffer has written an amazing article on Gawker about the scourge of decency laws! You should read it!”
If it’s so freaking amazing then link to it! What’s even worse is if you go to Dr. Wankmeoffer’s Twitter page you’ll see that he’s RT’d all the people who have heaped praise on him, but not any links to his own damn article.

- Gorgeous women who post amazingly gorgeous pics of themselves on Social Media and say things like “Ugh! I’m such a mess today!” or “I can’t find any good pics of myself.” Jesus this is so annoying. I know! I know! I can’t say anything to them because they’re all suffering from bad self-esteem caused by skinny hot chicks on the cover of magazines and shit. So, I just let it go even though it pisses me the hell off.

- People who use their phone for virtually everything social media related but bitch about its limitations. I saw a report from CES about a watch that will notify you that you have email. The lady showing the watch off said “This way you don’t have to go to the trouble of getting your phone out if it isn’t an urgent email.” Really? Now it’s too much effort to check your phone? It’s bad enough that all these people tweet me with “Hey, can you email me that link you just tweeted? I’m on my phone” because they’re too freaking lazy to open the laptop sitting next to them.

- Anne Hathaway’s pretentious short hair. Enough already! Let your hair grow back out and stop taking yourself so God-Damned seriously.

- People debating the $1 Trillion Dollar Coin. Yeah, it might be a silly idea, but basically it’s a silly response to straight up irresponsible assholes in Congress. Worst of all are the people claiming that the government would have to mint a coin the side of the Empire State Building. Uh, you might notice that the $20 bill isn’t 20 times bigger than the $1 bill. Also, it didn’t take $100 worth of material to make a $100 moron.

And what about all the mint it would take to “mint a coin that size?” Would there be any left over for the Mint Juleps at the Kentucky Derby? Would the government use so much mint that they created a supply shortage that resulted in a huge increase in the price of mint? Nobody thought of that DID THEY?

- People who take it personally when I don’t like what or who they like. This one has always mystified me. Do you really think it’s necessary for us ALL to like the same music, movies, TV shows, etc…? How boring would that be? It just amazes me how many people get upset when I make a truthful statement like “Taylor Swift sucks.” There are always people who respond with something like “Well, I guess you think I suck too because I like her.”

No, I think your taste in music sucks, it’s not the same thing.

- Delusional sports fans who think that the only way their team ever loses a game is because the “refs cheated” or the refs were “out to get them.” Just take your ass whippings like grown-ups and shut up people!

Oh and by the way …. You had NOTHING to do with YOUR team’s win so stop taking personal credit for it.

Same goes to Southeastern Conference fans. Alabama’s BCS Championship is NOT yours, it’s theirs. If you’re a fan of another SEC school and you are celebrating Bama’s win because your team is in the same conference, you are a fucking moron.

I could go on, and on, and on. But, I won’t.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS 

I Hate Election Season

Hola y’all. You know what I hate? Election Season! You knew that? Oh yeah, it’s the title of this post. Okay, so I’m not that clever, but I am serious about my hatred of election season. I’m at the point where I would support going to six year terms for everybody and then I could go on vacation to Siberia while it’s happening.

Missouri is FINALLY holding their primaries. What’s that? Oh no, those other 75 republican primaries, caucuses, straw polls, hootenannies etc, were only for president. And, spoiler alert: None of them counted. Anyway, the ads on Springfield TV stations are relentless and completely idiotic. Sarah Palin is campaigning for Cruella de Vil Sarah Steelman and her two male opponents are running ads that basically say “OH MY GOD!!! I’M SOOOOOOOO CONSERVATIVE!!! I HATE OBAMA SO GOD DAMN MUCH AND MY OPPONENTS SECRETLY LOVE HIM! SARAH STEELMAN WANTS TO HAVE DISGUSTING INTERRACIAL SEX WITH HIM IN DEFIANCE OF GOD’S WORD!!111 OMG11!!”

There’s one guy who is running for the part time position of assistant county land alderman commissioner clerk secretary who says on his first day in office he will begin the process of repealing Obamacare in Missouri. Don’t ask him how or if his office has any authority because he doesn’t know or care and neither do the people who are going to vote for him.

And the pandering! Oh dear God the pandering! Mitt Romney goes on a trip to Israel and a day before he gets there Obama announces he releasing millions in financial aid to Israel. Then he announces that he will host a local dinner theater’s production of Fiddler on the Roof at the White House followed by a Steven Spielberg movie festival hosted by comedians Andy Samberg and Mort Sahl.

Then this bullshit story comes out about Olympians having to pay taxes on their gold medals which actually turns out to be taxes on the cash bonuses they get from the USOC. But that didn’t stop the panderers! Florida Senator Marco Rubio announces he is introducing a bill that would exempt Olympic athletes from taxes on their bonuses and medals. Did Obama respond by being an adult and explaining that this is nothing but pandering and faux patriotism? Oh hell no, he took the easy way out said he would support the bill.

Next up are the conventions. Have you seen the speaking lineups for both the republicans and democrats? They checked off all the boxes already. Each has a Latino, an African-American, an Asian-American, a woman, a southerner, a northerner, a westerner, a farmer, a small business owner, a housewife and on and on. These conventions are lessons in identity politics. They will make sure to pander to each and every voting block anyone can ever think of. The only difference is there will be NO GAYS at the republican convention.

And you know what really sucks? It all works. The negative ads work. The “you didn’t build that” ads work. The “pioneered outsourcing” ads work. The “He doesn’t love America” attacks work. The “you people” attacks work.

You know why? Cause we not only accept all the pandering we demand it. That’s right; the voters like to be lied to. We want them to tell us what we want to hear and we want them to call their opponents the same names we call them. We want to be told America is exceptional and each and every one of us is right on the verge become multi-millionaires. We want to be told all our problems are being caused by immigrants. And most of all we want to be told that fixing all our problems will be simple and painless.

So folks, next time you’re bitching up a storm about the low quality of people running for office remember that it’s our fault.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

When the Internet Goes Down, My Rage Rises

Hola Bitches! Jayman here and let me tell ya, I’m not a man who angers easily, but I’m flat-out fucking pissed and Cox Cable is about to meet the business end of The I’m With Stupid Shit List. FEEL THE WRATH MOTHER FUCKERS! We’ve been without cable, phone and internet for almost nine fucking hours now and there doesn’t seem to be any end in sight.

Jesus! I switched from Windstream DSL to Cox Cable because Windstream had been going down a lot and the Cox “bundle” seemed like a good idea. But, recently Cox has been going down quite frequently. And today it fucking crapped out big time. This is BULLSHIT!

A few little fucking clouds and Cox freaks out like a five year old girl experiencing her first tornado. This is fucking embarrassing. If I worked for Cox Cable I would fucking quit before I died of shame. I can’t believe I missed that HUGE game between Western Michigan and Toledo because of Cox’s shittyness.

Or is it Easter Michigan? I’m so pissed I can’t even remember.

I guess I’ll fucking call Matt-Man when he gets home from the Beer Mine and have him set up Wednesday’s show.  And I doubt it’ll be back up by the time the show starts so he’ll have to do the switchboard and chat room alone while I call in on my cell phone. Unless Cox figures out a way to fuck my cell phone too, that is. And don’t think for a second they won’t if they get the chance, the incompetent fucks.

You know, Cox talked about getting in the cell phone business. Well, fuck that. I wouldn’t get one of their cell phones if it was fucking free. I can just see it now. I’m on my way to visit family and I’m broke down on the side of the road in middle of fucking nowhere Iowa and I grab my cellphone to call for help and WHAT DO YOU KNOW! FUCKING COX IS EXPERIENCING A FUCKING OUTAGE!

And then I’ll look up and there will be fucking zombies walking out of the corn fields as the sun begins to set late in the day. God I fucking hate zombies. Even more than vampires, and I’m sick and fucking tired of fucking vampires.

Of course, they’ll get right on that and get it all fixed just as soon as humanly possible. Which means whenever they fucking feel like it. Customer service? What’s that shit? We’re Cox Cable, we’re not into that.

Oh I know what you’re saying! “Is somebody experiencing some ‘First World’ problems?” Yeah, well FUCK YOU. No, someone is experiencing ‘A FUCKING OUTRAGEOUSLY OVERPRICED SERVICE ISN’T WORKING’ problem. There’s a fucking difference.

Besides, what the fuck would you do in the same situation? Sitting here on a rainy night in fucking Redneckville, Arkansas with no cable, phone or internet? No NCIS. No college football. NO SONS OF MOTHER FUCKING ANARCHY!! No talking to your friends who all live in the gray rectangular box that sits atop your Tablemate II. Nothing to do but sit here and listen to CLASSIC FUCKING RADIO for hours on end. It’s not a pretty fucking picture, is it? No it’s not and you know what else? FUCK THE GOD DAMN BEATLES.

I thought writing this would make me feel better but now I’m more pissed than ever. Fucking Cox Cable. Everyone who works there can eat a bag of dicks. 

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman_iws

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Oh and last Saturday we threw a virtual Pizza Part on I’m With Stupid. We talked our favorite pizzas, I told about my days delivering to swingers and drug deals and Matt-Man talked about some of his own pizza creations. Plus we spent a few minutes with Zombie Andy Rooney. The show is getting lots and lots of action, so it must have been a good one. We appreciate all of our listeners.

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