What IWS Fans Are Saying

Showing posts with label Karma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Karma. Show all posts

Thursday, May 8, 2014

President Goodluck Jonathan...Bring Back Our Girls, Dammit!!

Dear President Goodluck Jonathan (if that’s your real name…frankly it sounds made up, but anyhoo),

It appears that you are having problems tracking down, killing, and otherwise bringing to justice a Muslim terrorist group known as Boko Haram who have kidnapped some 300 young, innocent girls and forcing them into doing unspeakable things, like getting married, but…

I know.  No, really…I understand your difficulties.

It is difficult to track down Boko Haram and the young desperate victims because Nigeria is a huge country.  Nigeria is as big as California, Nevada, and Arizona combined, or as they call it out west here in the United States, the tri-state area.

I understand how you command one of the more sophisticated armed forces in Africa, and cringe at the thought of accepting old style “colonial” help from U.K. and the U.S. because it would make Nigeria look feeble, but seriously?

If these actions took place in the United States within the tri-state area?  If it did happen at all, a group such as Boko Haram would have been sliced, diced, and every each way been julienned as we returned the girls to their families.

I understand that Nigeria is a noveau riche state of Africa due to oil, and we have quite a few rich oil barons ourselves, but we also have something that you don’t and are sorely lacking…

A nation, as currently politically dysfunctional as it is, that when confronted with something of this nature, the kidnapping of 300 young girls, would stick together, formulate a plan, and carry out infinite justice upon those preying upon the weak and the voiceless who have had their adolescence stolen.

Boko Haram is a terrorist group…Boko Haram is comprised of fanatical cowards like Abubakar Shekau who burns down churches and whisks away defenseless little girls who once had a future and now who do not.

Boko Haram is an easy target of which to rid your nation and the world, but you stand idly by, and wring your hands President Jonathan.

Perhaps, if you showed some leadership rather than walking the tightrope between foreign oil companies and forcing groups such as Boko Haram “out of sight” and confined to the nether and lesser regions of Nigeria, you could one day, make Nigeria a wealthy place for all of her citizens.

But, instead…

You choose to deny the problem and prefer to allow the canal boat captains of Nigeria be pulled down the Niger River by mules, ass chapped by big oil, and insurgent groups who wag their finger at you if dare you lift your own at them.

Sad.

Your name shouldn’t be Goodluck Jonathan.  It should be Goodnight Jonathan, because by either acting too late or not at all, you won’t be helping to #bringbackourgirls .

GoodNight Jonathan, may you sleep well one last night.  The worth of a country is how they treat the young, the old, and the weak, so when karma comes in the form of an overthrow, an ostracization by the world community, or an uprising by the Nigerian people, may you, along with Abubakar Shekau burn in hell.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

@mattmaniws@ymail.com
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Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Instant Karma Is Gonna Get You!!

Cheeeeeeeers Chuckleheads!!

It’s good to see you all on this most inspiring first Tuesday in September.

Jayman and I put on one helluva IWS Radio show this past Sunday, and if you missed it LIVE, you can catch all the hilarity right HERE.  And trust me, we had a topless babe on the air, and it was HOT!!

Anyhoo…

Many people in my life, and no I am not kidding Jayman and others, think I am far too nice to people.  One of whom who thinks this, is my boss, and owner of the Beer Mine at which I work, Drive-By Mikey.

Don’t get me wrong, while we do sell a ton o’ beer everyday, 95% of the folks who come through are pleasant and behaved, but…

The other 5% can be rude, self-absorbed, whiny, stupid assholes.

I nearly always rise above the instances of a jerk coming through, and Mike has often told me, “Man, you are too nice sometimes; I would have told that jerk to go to hell.”

I have always and to this day do respond…

“Eh, it wasn’t time to jump on him (or her), but no worries, I keep notes of people on a Rolodex in my head.”

After I say that, Mike usually responds, “Whatever.”  Because that is something that I have always told Mike about me that he doesn't understand...that being…

Patience is not only a virtue…it’s a well-conceived time bomb.

See?  Two weeks ago, this dude in a pick em up truck came through and asked for a 12 pack of Miller Lite and a bag of ice.

I gave said thirsty man his order.  He drove outside of the Beer Mine, out the contents in his cooler, and thennnn…He came into the office with empty box and plastic bag, and said, “Here, trash.”

I thought to myself…”Oh no you didn't just do that?”  But I bit my tongue and took it.

Last week, he came through and ordered the same thing, and wouldn't you know..?  He brought me his trash again and never uttered a word!!  No at word of “thanks”.  Not a word of, “Is this okay?”  Not a word of,  “Do you mind?”

To which I said to myself…

“Y’know Lord…I try to be a good person.  I try to live by your word. In fact, other than my occasional drunkenness which I confine to my home (and on my Facebook page), I try to be a non-judgmental, get along, go along kinda guy…but if this rude motherfucker ever comes through here again, I am going to pass judgment.”

Well my friends, yesterday Rude Man came through, and it was Judgment Day!!

He ordered a 12 pack of Miller Lite, and a small bag of ice.

The order came to $12.10.

The man only had $12.00, so he asked me…

“Can you front me a dime?”

Oh Dear God!!  The responses that ran through my mind!!  Five hours of responses that actually lit up every synapse in my brain in a mere two seconds.

I said to rude Mr. Trash Man…

“Aren't you the guy who gives me your trash every week?  That’s pretty rude.”

He responded, “I could have just thrown it in your lot.”

“Or you could have thrown your trash into the bed of your truck like most people do.”, I said.

And as Mikey came out to see what was going on, he heard…

“So you won’t give me dime?”

And I said, “Nope, because you are rude.”

And the dude said, “I guess I’ll take my business elsewhere.” and then he drove off.

After that, Mike and I did the fist hit and Mike said…

“After ten years in this business, I have come to realize that if we could just kick the assholes out and break even, it would be better than making a lot of money dealing with them, and I see now why you have that stupid Rolodeck or whatever that you talk about.”

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
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