What IWS Fans Are Saying

Showing posts with label Paula Deen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Paula Deen. Show all posts

Monday, March 3, 2014

Lent Is Here, And So Is The Guilt

Holy Cow!!

If you missed yesterday’s IWS Radio Show, you missed a lot.

No…seriously.

The erstwhile Bobby Kraft and avuncular Kirk Douglass both went off on each other, as well as going off on Jay and Matt, AND the listeners.

It was pandemonium in Piscataway!!

I mean…if you live in Piscataway, New Jersey, which nobody worthwhile does, so…and anyhoo…

And then, Jay and Matt called out Paul Piatt for picking up personal sponsorships using the IWS name.

Fortunately, Tammy Tibbles and Paula Deen were on hand in order to bring some much needed joy and decorum to the proceedings.

I tell ya…

Yesterday’s show about the joy and repentances of Lent was anything but…however, Jay and Matt kept the flock on the right path and shared the love and joy of Jesus Christ two fold, just as God shared the joy of life two fold with Job.

In fact, if you listen to yesterday’s show, you will be blessed not only by an abundance of comedy, courtesy of Jay and Matt, you will be blessed by the Almighty Father Hizzelf and from Matt’s friend, Dr. Gina Gentry Loudon…

So give it a listen.  It doesn’t cost anything, annnnnnd…If you do, God will bless you.


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

What's Next for George Zimmerman

Holaaaaaaaaaaa y’all! So, I know what you guys are all thinking. You’re worried that George Zimmerman will forever be known as the guy who chased and eventually killed an unarmed black teenager named Trayvon Martin and his life is going to be sad and miserable. Nonsense! This is America people and there are always opportunities out there. Here’s a list of the things George might be able to do with his new found fame.

- Host a comedy podcast on BlogTalkRadio

- A new reality show on Bravo about an all-gay male nude dance troupe called The ZimmerMEN’s Folles.


- Other reality show ideas …

“On Patrol with George”
“Who’s Out There with George”
“Wandering the Streets with George”
“Fuck the Police with George”
“George Follows Black People Around”

- “Stand Your Ground” show every weekend hosted by George Zimmerman on Fox News

- Run for Sheriff of Seminole County Florida


- Become a mentor for Big Brothers/Big Sisters

- Gigolo

- Spokesman for the NRA

- New show on The Food Network “Cooking with George and Paula”



- Do a series of porn movies:

“George Comes at Night”
“George the Dick Stalker” (bi)
“George Knows how to Finish”
“George Gets Off”
“The Neighborhood Likes to Watch”

- Write a book?

“Why I Did It”
“I Didn’t Get Life”
“A Field Guide to Effective Neighborhood Watch Programs”
“In My Self Defense”

- And of course a new line of “The Zimmer” Hoodies




So, as you can see, George Zimmerman’s life is full of all kinds of opportunities to be happy and successful!


Monday, July 1, 2013

Stupid People Rule!!

If you are one of those freaks who lives vicariously through felons and follows trials on TV, you know that this past week, one of George Zimmerman’s defense attorney’s, Don West, opened his defense argument with the following:

Know Knock?
Who’s there?
George Zimmerman.
George Zimmerman, who?
You’re on the jury.

And then, later this past week Don West’s daughter Molly, posted a picture of Esquire Don and his other daughter, the slightly more than mildly hot Rachel West, on the internets. The trio seemed to certainly be enjoying the sucking and licking of their ice cream cones of stupidity.

What does all of this tell us?

Something we already knew, yet are constantly reminded of on a daily basis…

People are stupid!!

I know, I know…many of us knew that.  Many of us know that even we are on occasion, kinda stupid, but here’s the thing…I’m talking about folks who are in government…or a position of power…or a person who addresses the masses through the media.

Don’t you think Attorney West could have told his daughter, or better yet, she on her own, would have the aforethought to not post a picture like that on the internet during the opening of the trial?

The West family refers to this Friday ice cream eating tradition as, the ice cream cone of stupidity, and well…they nailed that one.

Stupid, just plain stupid coming from the family of an attorney trying the biggest trial going to day, and then?

We have Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX)…who upon hearing that the Supreme Court struck down DOMA immediately invoked the word of GAWD Almighty throug the teachings of Solomon…

"I think polygamy is wrong, bigamy is wrong, and it's a crime in many places -- but how will that be justifiable now that the court has removed this [DOMA]?  There's some [who] believe polygamy is a way to go….You know, King Solomon, many -- including me -- believe was the wisest man who ever lived…Of course, then he had too many wives, and that [will] always mess up anybody's wisdom."

Loony Louie while attempting to let the words of God pass through his lips, managed to insult and belittle Jewish Mormons and tie gay marriage to the evils of polygamy that were the downfall of King Solomon and Brigham Young.

And then, and THEN!!  Last week, Paula Deen, in efforts to keep hold of her vast, yet quickly crumbling media empire, was stupid enough to think that common folk were stupid enough to buy her non-tearful, Jimmy Swaggart-type mea culpa on the TODAY Show.

But…there was a big difference between Swaggart’s apology and that of Paula Deen’s.  Jimmy admitted that he sinned, and Paula?  She just wants those of us who are without sin to hit her in the head with a rock.  And let me tell ya, if I was without sin, I would find the biggest boulder in the world and crush her cranium until it was nothing but…butter.

Poor, clueless, and stupid Paula Deen, she is still living in the 60’s…the 1860’s.

People of financial worth, positions of governmental power, and litigational libido, prove every day that they too can be as stupid as the rest of us peons.

And really?  We don’t need that.  We need people to look up to.  We need people who give us something to shoot for.  We need heroes.

Sadly, as we approach yet another Independence Day, our forefathers, builders of American capitalism, and rebellious scalawags seem more and more impressive, because well…

Our “leaders” of today both public and private, are nothing more than self-involved, self-serving idiots, and to be truthful, so is a sizable cross-section of the American public.

Of course…a few folks who are not idiots did a radio show yesterday.  Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio gang celebrated American Independence yesterday.  They celebrated the greatness of leaders past, and did so, with the hottest and most articulate lesbian in the world, Angie!!

Angie was as always, awesome, as were Kirk Douglas, Buddy Acapella, Bobby Kraft, and Paul Piatt.  If you missed the hilarity LIVE, you can listen to it right here:


Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
Matt’s Facebook Page

Friday, June 28, 2013

A Safe Place to Be Yourself and Do Your Thing

Hola! So yesterday, a day which will live in infamy, Matt-Man got to strike something off of his Bucket List. He finally got to do an N-Word post. Okay, I’m kidding. Kinda. Anyway, that satirical post accomplished its primary goal. Lots and lots and lots of page views! Hell yeah! *Hi-5’s Matt virtually*

There were a few people who didn’t enjoy that post though. No really! Some people found that post to be in poor taste or thought it was unnecessary to use the N-Word and blah, blah, blah. Well look, would I have written that post? OH HAIL NAW! Not on your life. But, that doesn’t really matter cause this blog here is a safe place for Matt, me or anyone else who is posting to speak honestly and post whatever they want.

This includes a satirical posts from Paula Deen.

This is primarily a humor/comedy blog. Matt-Man and I are both free to post whatever we want here. We don’t stop each other from talking about any topic or anything else, nor should we. Too many people censor themselves on their own damn blogs because they’re afraid they’re gonna upset someone or offend people or whatever. I've been known to do that myself. We shouldn’t be doing that.

Your blog is the only place where you will ever be totally free to be yourself, or anyone else you want to be. Even if you want to be Racist Paula Deen.  Back in the day I did a post on my old blog where I blasted Elizabeth Edwards that resulted in someone calling me a “pig” in the comments section and then telling me “I hope you get cancer and die!” Okay, fair enough. I like it when people speak their mind.

Having said that, I don’t always agree with Matt and he doesn’t always agree with me. I don’t always like what he posts and he doesn’t always like what I post. I’m sure there are times when Matt rolls his eyes at how hard I work to find a way to post a pic of a hot Asian babe even though it doesn’t really fit with what the blog was about. That’s perfectly acceptable.

So, why am I bringing this up? Well, I‘ll tell ya why. Whenever you happen to read a post here that you fine offensive or upsetting we most definitely want you to let us know. It’s a little odd that the only time we get any feedback from people is when they aren’t happy, but that’s okay. We very much respect your opinions and beliefs as long as you respect ours.

Yesterday, I got a few messages and emails from people who thought Matts’ post was in bad taste that thought we shouldn’t allow the “N-Word” on the blog. Plus a comment on a pic posted to the official IWS Facebook Fan Page. But, I dismiss that cause it came from a guy who I know to be a raging fucking hypocrite. I have no doubt Matt has also heard from people who either don’t like me or don’t think I’m funny or are bitter middle-aged white women who are jealous of hot, petite, sexy and exotic Asian babes. I’m just guessing on that last part. Point is you can't always make everybody happy and you can always worry about people's sensibilities. 

The people who had something to say about Matt’s post did so nicely and without name calling or rudeness or over the top OMG I’M SO OUTRAGED crap. I really appreciate that. But, there is one thing Matt and I would like to request of people who feel strongly enough about something to email and express their feelings.

Please make sure you direct your comments to the person who actually wrote the post.

That’s really all we ask and we think that’s more than fair. Seriously, we put our name on the posts ya know.Thanks for your cooperation.



Thursday, June 27, 2013

Paula Deen Does Not Hate Niggers

Hey Y’all!!  Paula Deen here, guest blogging for iwsradio.com today.

Why am I writing on the glorious pages of the IWS Radio website, y’all ask?

Well…It’s part of my racially charged rhetoric rehabilitation process.  I have apologized on You Tube.

Yesterday I somewhat, but not really, apologized for my bigoted invectives on the Today Show with Matt Lauer, and today?

Here I am on I’m With Stupid in all of my repentant, resplendent, and buttery glory coming to you in the wrote down fashion type a thing.

For the next forty days and forty nights, that began with the aforemended You Tube thing, I am going to appear on every type of media outlet that will have me, in order to apologize and/or defend myself.

I’m calling my hurried and harried media mea culpa blitz…

Paula’s Incredible Edible Regrettable Tour™ !!

Let me tell you folks.  I have only used the word, nigger once in my life, and that was when I was describing, to my husband mind y’all, the assailant who put a gun to my head during a bank robbery.

I was shaken and stirred and knew not what I was saying, and y’all know what?

When I think about it, it would have been better if I had called the guy with the gun to my head, a nigger, because if I had, I would probably be dead and not have to suffer the unwarranted and hurtful stones being cast upon me by the media and public opinion.

People are out to destroy me, because they are jealous of my success.  People like Lisa Jackson who say that I created a hostile work environment full of racial jokes and pornography.  I have even been attributed to saying the following:


What…on…Earth?

How could I have said that…I would never go for something like that.  I mean c’mon y’all…

Long sleeves and bow ties with shorts?  That’s just a stupid look!!  They would have to wear pants!!  No self-respecting, tap dancing, wait staff jigaboo tap dances in shorts!!

Listen y’all…My culinary media empire is strong.  I built my success upon a foundation of sturdy, high cholesterol, and deep fried blocks.  I didn’t build the foundation of my industry success upon the shakiness of a bunch of niggers in a woodpile.  Although…

I was the one who got Patrick and Gina Neely their own show on The Food Network, so maybe I did have a couple of darkies in the foundational mix, but listen…

I love Patrick and Gina so much, and they are black mind you, that I had my friend and ceramics guy Jim “Butterfingers” Vogel, form and bake me up a couple of little statues of the Neelys, which are always on display atop my kitchen table, as you can clearly see…


It's as though they are both holding giant doughnuts in their hands...Uh-huh, y’all…Who’s the racist now!!?

And let me tell you before I go…

After I moved out of mammy and pappy’s and got my first real job....One of the first things I did was buy a dog for protection.  He was strong, always alert, and a very well-hung dog.  And do y’all know what I named him?

Shaft.

This was even during the George Wallace years.  If that ain’t showing love for my bruthas and sistahs, I don’t know what is.

Thanks for having me here today on I’m With Stupid, now if you’ll excuse me, I am off to have a well earned meal of fried chicken, collard greens, and watermelon with Darius Rucker.  He’s such a get-a-longer, go-a-longer.

What?  No worries...Darius is one of those "tame ones."

Best Dishes to You,

Paula Deen

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page



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