IWS Radio Out-Stupided Eric Bolling!!

Man, let me tell ya...Yesterday's IWS Radio was exploding with hilarity and stupidity not seen since the latest installment of The Five on FOX News. And I ought to know because I, Eric Bolling am the one who typically brings the stupid.

Anyway, in addition to hearing Geraldo Rivera saying he would kick my ass, a lot buffoonery went on yesterday...

The alarmist weather man was whacked out with high anxiety and craziness.

Schmoop has had it with schedule changes and droopy drawers.

Jayman's car was acting all stupid and now he has to use a secret code to operate it.

Matt Man and the fine folks at the Beer Mine seem to be trying to smile through the stupid that has been coming through of late.

Donald Trump and Rick Perry fought it out over who the dumbest of the two.

Bernie Sanders sang his little heart out and then BAM...

After Robert the Taylor hung and Jamie called-in, Matt Man was attacked a by tree and lost to cyber space. IT'S TRUE!!

If you don't believe me , listen to yesterday's show and re-live the stupid!!

What The Hell Is Wrong With You People!?

Cheers, and a Happy Cambodian Day of Remembrance to you all.  I hope your respectful introspections and reflections go well today.

Y’know folks… In day to day life, I am pretty much a go along, get along kinda guy as far as where other people are concerned.

Everyone has their own foibles, flaws, and quirks.  To which, when I see them on parade, while I may chuckle, I typically just say to myself, “Ha, whatever.”

However…

When those foibles, flaws, and quirks seem to have just taken a dose of stupid steroids, I have to ask to myself and out loud…

What the HELL is wrong with YOU!!?

For instance, yesterday morning I learned that, twenty-two year old Danielle Shea had been arrested for calling in two bomb threats just prior to the Quinnipiac University’s 2014 graduation ceremony.  It seems that Ms. Shea had been living a bit of a lie.

She hadn’t attended QU since 2012 but her parents thought she had been, and expected her to be graduating this spring.  So my oh my, when the family shows up and sees Danielle in her cap and gown, but not her name on the list of graduates, the not so college graduate panics and calls in a bomb threat in order to get the ceremony cancelled.

Ms. Shea?  Danielle?  May I call you Danielle?  You had eighteen months to plan for this day.  In that time, couldn’t you have just told mom and dad that you had dropped out, or at least had an extremely well done forgery of a QU diploma made, and told them that you were skipping the ceremony?

Nooooooooooo…You had to dress the part, realize too late that you were a dumb ass, and then call in a couple of bomb threats.  WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Middletown, Ohio has a new group looking out for your interests and have been handing out fliers promoting their good cause.  It seems that after an arson of a white homeowners house in that city, a new group called, The White Guard is looking out for you white guys and gals in Middletown, OH.

This group states…“Are you a white person who feels unsafe in your own home or on the streets of your city due to the behavior of local black savages who prey on and terrorize whites?” (WHIO-TV Video Link)

Seriously?  In all likelihood it was a couple of stupid teens, be they black, white, or chartreuse who perpetrated the arson.  But, I guess you can use this tragic event as a rallying cry for your hate as you did.
To which I ask of course…WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

And even closer to home and on a more personal level…One of our Beer Mine customers the other day came to purchase some wonderful Beer Mine products.  After his order had been rung up his debit card was run to pay for it.  The card was declined. When hearing this, said customer replied…

“Damn, that’s what they told me at the Speedway up the street ten minutes ago.  All the credit card machines must be messed up today.”

Oh…Dear…God…What…The…Hell…Is…Wrong…With…You!?

As I said folks, I try to go along and get along, but damn.  Sometimes even for a man of my patience and understanding, I sometimes crack.  And well?

It makes my brain hurt.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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Donald Sterling Speaks On Magic Johnson and Race

Hello……………..Donald Sterling here………..For IWS Radio.

First of all………..I am not well.

Neither mentally, or………morally…………I think.

In spite of all the who-ha-ha that I suffered on behalf of the Viv Stiviano phone call, and the plantation attack I endured during my interview with that faggot Anderson Cooper; I am still alive, and still standing.

Well…at least sitting…and sitting with dignity and with more than a billion dollars in my New York skinny jeans.

So, even at the ripe old age of 80, the NBA wants to kick me out of their exclusive and outraged club now.  I don’t care.

I’m Donald Sterling and I am worth more than almost any of the other owners, other than that dickhead and raft-floating Havana boy, Mark Cuban. What?  Fidel didn’t allow basketball in Cuba, so you came here, Mark? Mark Cuban is a dick.

But I digress…I apologize once again, and trust me, I’ll be doing this for the rest of my short life, but anyhow…I apologize to Magic Johnson.  I said that you had AIDS, and that faggot Anderson Cooper corrected me by saying that you merely had, “HIV.”

Being an old Jewish man, I didn’t realize that if one contracted HIV from having more sex than I ever wanted to, would not necessarily result in AIDS.  I just figured, if the matzo was dipped in something unholy, it wasn’t kosher, and would never again walk the earth.

In other words, in reference to Magic…HE should be dying and I should be looking like a new man…but it’s the other way around.  Oy Vey!!

Another thing…When I saw Magic Johnson at a game with my girlfriend Viv, I said to myself, “She’s not gonna like it when he sings to her during sex, “It’s a peachy peachy peach in the Mississippi mud.””

Anyway…I’m out of the NBA I guess, but I want to find my redemption , and I have cash to burn before I explode set off more of my ignorance, so…

I am going to repair my inexplicable and unwarranted racist reputation by buying the Cleveland Browns of the NFL.  Do you think a man who was racist would buy a team named the Browns?  I didn’t think so.

And in fact, my first move will be to give the team and the fans a mascot for whom we can rally about, Sharecropper Shel.  He’d be a kindly negro with a friendly ho.

And while I’m at it, I may as well buy the Washington Redskins away from that racist heathen Dan Snyder, and re-invent that team.

I would rename the team the Washington D’oh’s and our mascot would be an Algonquin Indian with a piece of paper that meant nothing. But…he would wave it fiercely in the faces of the opposing team!!  Take That Philadelphia!!

Lastly, I would definitely like to thank IWS for allowing me this venue, and I want say something very important.  I apologize to black men everywhere for my words, but seriously?

It’s because you let your bitches run rampant that you are in such disarray.  You black boys really need to reign in your hoochie mamas.

I Am So Down With Your Negro and Indian Smoke Signal Sub-Culture,

Donald Sterling

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Stupid People Rule!!

If you are one of those freaks who lives vicariously through felons and follows trials on TV, you know that this past week, one of George Zimmerman’s defense attorney’s, Don West, opened his defense argument with the following:

Know Knock?
Who’s there?
George Zimmerman.
George Zimmerman, who?
You’re on the jury.

And then, later this past week Don West’s daughter Molly, posted a picture of Esquire Don and his other daughter, the slightly more than mildly hot Rachel West, on the internets. The trio seemed to certainly be enjoying the sucking and licking of their ice cream cones of stupidity.

What does all of this tell us?

Something we already knew, yet are constantly reminded of on a daily basis…

People are stupid!!

I know, I know…many of us knew that.  Many of us know that even we are on occasion, kinda stupid, but here’s the thing…I’m talking about folks who are in government…or a position of power…or a person who addresses the masses through the media.

Don’t you think Attorney West could have told his daughter, or better yet, she on her own, would have the aforethought to not post a picture like that on the internet during the opening of the trial?

The West family refers to this Friday ice cream eating tradition as, the ice cream cone of stupidity, and well…they nailed that one.

Stupid, just plain stupid coming from the family of an attorney trying the biggest trial going to day, and then?

We have Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX)…who upon hearing that the Supreme Court struck down DOMA immediately invoked the word of GAWD Almighty throug the teachings of Solomon…

"I think polygamy is wrong, bigamy is wrong, and it's a crime in many places -- but how will that be justifiable now that the court has removed this [DOMA]?  There's some [who] believe polygamy is a way to go….You know, King Solomon, many -- including me -- believe was the wisest man who ever lived…Of course, then he had too many wives, and that [will] always mess up anybody's wisdom."

Loony Louie while attempting to let the words of God pass through his lips, managed to insult and belittle Jewish Mormons and tie gay marriage to the evils of polygamy that were the downfall of King Solomon and Brigham Young.

And then, and THEN!!  Last week, Paula Deen, in efforts to keep hold of her vast, yet quickly crumbling media empire, was stupid enough to think that common folk were stupid enough to buy her non-tearful, Jimmy Swaggart-type mea culpa on the TODAY Show.

But…there was a big difference between Swaggart’s apology and that of Paula Deen’s.  Jimmy admitted that he sinned, and Paula?  She just wants those of us who are without sin to hit her in the head with a rock.  And let me tell ya, if I was without sin, I would find the biggest boulder in the world and crush her cranium until it was nothing but…butter.

Poor, clueless, and stupid Paula Deen, she is still living in the 60’s…the 1860’s.

People of financial worth, positions of governmental power, and litigational libido, prove every day that they too can be as stupid as the rest of us peons.

And really?  We don’t need that.  We need people to look up to.  We need people who give us something to shoot for.  We need heroes.

Sadly, as we approach yet another Independence Day, our forefathers, builders of American capitalism, and rebellious scalawags seem more and more impressive, because well…

Our “leaders” of today both public and private, are nothing more than self-involved, self-serving idiots, and to be truthful, so is a sizable cross-section of the American public.

Of course…a few folks who are not idiots did a radio show yesterday.  Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio gang celebrated American Independence yesterday.  They celebrated the greatness of leaders past, and did so, with the hottest and most articulate lesbian in the world, Angie!!

Angie was as always, awesome, as were Kirk Douglas, Buddy Acapella, Bobby Kraft, and Paul Piatt.  If you missed the hilarity LIVE, you can listen to it right here:

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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