What IWS Fans Are Saying

Showing posts with label NBA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NBA. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Donald Sterling Speaks On Magic Johnson and Race

Hello……………..Donald Sterling here………..For IWS Radio.

First of all………..I am not well.

Neither mentally, or………morally…………I think.

In spite of all the who-ha-ha that I suffered on behalf of the Viv Stiviano phone call, and the plantation attack I endured during my interview with that faggot Anderson Cooper; I am still alive, and still standing.

Well…at least sitting…and sitting with dignity and with more than a billion dollars in my New York skinny jeans.

So, even at the ripe old age of 80, the NBA wants to kick me out of their exclusive and outraged club now.  I don’t care.

I’m Donald Sterling and I am worth more than almost any of the other owners, other than that dickhead and raft-floating Havana boy, Mark Cuban. What?  Fidel didn’t allow basketball in Cuba, so you came here, Mark? Mark Cuban is a dick.

But I digress…I apologize once again, and trust me, I’ll be doing this for the rest of my short life, but anyhow…I apologize to Magic Johnson.  I said that you had AIDS, and that faggot Anderson Cooper corrected me by saying that you merely had, “HIV.”

Being an old Jewish man, I didn’t realize that if one contracted HIV from having more sex than I ever wanted to, would not necessarily result in AIDS.  I just figured, if the matzo was dipped in something unholy, it wasn’t kosher, and would never again walk the earth.

In other words, in reference to Magic…HE should be dying and I should be looking like a new man…but it’s the other way around.  Oy Vey!!

Another thing…When I saw Magic Johnson at a game with my girlfriend Viv, I said to myself, “She’s not gonna like it when he sings to her during sex, “It’s a peachy peachy peach in the Mississippi mud.””

Anyway…I’m out of the NBA I guess, but I want to find my redemption , and I have cash to burn before I explode set off more of my ignorance, so…

I am going to repair my inexplicable and unwarranted racist reputation by buying the Cleveland Browns of the NFL.  Do you think a man who was racist would buy a team named the Browns?  I didn’t think so.

And in fact, my first move will be to give the team and the fans a mascot for whom we can rally about, Sharecropper Shel.  He’d be a kindly negro with a friendly ho.

And while I’m at it, I may as well buy the Washington Redskins away from that racist heathen Dan Snyder, and re-invent that team.

I would rename the team the Washington D’oh’s and our mascot would be an Algonquin Indian with a piece of paper that meant nothing. But…he would wave it fiercely in the faces of the opposing team!!  Take That Philadelphia!!

Lastly, I would definitely like to thank IWS for allowing me this venue, and I want say something very important.  I apologize to black men everywhere for my words, but seriously?

It’s because you let your bitches run rampant that you are in such disarray.  You black boys really need to reign in your hoochie mamas.

I Am So Down With Your Negro and Indian Smoke Signal Sub-Culture,

Donald Sterling

mattmaniws@ymail.com
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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Donald Sterling: Perhaps You Didn't Think This Through Very Well

Happy Hump Day to you all and let’s get right to the stupid of things.  There are many people in this country,
the greatest country on earth mind, who are stupid as hell, and?

They should be saying to themselves…

“Maybe I didn't think this through very well.”

First up, and of course…

Donald Sterling…

The longtime owner of the Los Angeles Clippers got into a race debate with his black/Mexican mistress and told her that she shouldn’t parade herself about in the company of loser and incredibly disliked black guys like Magic Johnson at…basketball games.

Unbeknownst to him, his former mistress, V. Stiviano, who looks like a 25 year old Joan Rivers with darker skin, recorded his remarks, and has now set him down a path that will not include owning a NBA Basketball team, a condo that he gave he gave her, nor the more than a few cars that he gifted to her, but…

Does she realize that if she keeps the condo, she’ll have to pay tax on it?  She’ll have to sell the two Bentleys to pay for the condo taxes.

These two dullards didn’t think this through very well.

Cliven Bundy…

Cliven was riding high on the free grazing grass of the government teat, and then?  He bit the teat that fed him.

Oh sure, anti-government feeling is at an all-time high, however, when one pivots from state’s rights, don’t tread on me hysteria, and anti-Obama rhetoric, and then goes full blown anti-negro, one tends to lose their standing, and even loses support from Sean Hannity…at least publicly.

Good ol’ Cliven didn’t think this through very well.

Rush Limbaugh…

In reference to the aforementioned Donald Sterling/LA Clippers fiasco…Rush Limbaugh smells a rat and a rat that smells similar to what the Obama birthers smelled.

Back in 2009...Magic Johnson intentionally had a picture of him taken at a LA Dodgers game with Stiviano, knowing that in five years, that the picture of he and V. Stiviano would make Donald Sterling erupt, and therefore, ignite his racist comments, and gain Mr. Johnson access to buy the LA Clippers at a ground floor price.

Rush didn’t think this through very well.  Mainly, because he was high on Oxycontin and Viagra when he came up with this theory, but nonetheless…

Finally…

Former Knicks player and whatever with the whatever team, Larry Johnson has chimed in on the Donald Sterling brouhaha…

“Black people your (sic) focusing on the wrong thing. We should be focusing on having our own, own team, own League! To For Self!!”

Meaning of course, Larry Johnson, a black man, would prefer to go back to the year 1896 and Plessy v. Ferguson, rather than 1954 and Brown v. Board of Education.

Perhaps Larry Johnson didn't think this through very well.

Anyway, here’s the point.  People are stupid, and do stupid things, but also, when we see people do stupid things, we, as in the case of Rush Limbaugh and Larry Johnson, react stupidly.

I have many flaws, but if you ask those who know me, thinking things through and lacking patience are not among my flaws.

If those are my only two gifts, I will be happy, because those are two of the most important when it comes to getting things done and being an acceptable human being.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
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Sunday, February 2, 2014

Kevin Durant the Slim Reaper IWS Person of the Week

The IWS Person of the Week is NBA Superstar Kevin Durant!


KD or “Slim Reaper” as his is being called (or you could go with his previous nickname “Durantula” if you prefer) is in his 7th year in the league with the Oklahoma City Thunder. He was the #2 overall pick in the 2007 draft out of the University of Texas.


He was also part of the 2012 Team USA gold medal Olympic team.


It’s really hard to believe that back in 2007 people not only argued over who should be the #1 pick, Durant or tOSU’s Greg Oden, but Portland actually took Olden first!!!! Crazy!


Anyway, if you are a racist aren’t an NBA fan you might not have seen what a show Durant has been putting on the last few weeks. He has lit up the scoreboard and carried the Thunder while superstar teammate Russell Westbrook is injured. He scored 30 or more points in 12 straight games. The only reason he was “held” to 26 by the Brooklyn Nets was because the Thunder had such a huge lead Kevin didn’t even play in the fourth quarter!


So anyway, congrats to Kevin Durant not only on his great success in the NBA, but on winning IWS Radio’s Person of the Week!


Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Jay's Top Fives


Hola y’all! I was sitting around today, minding my own business and trying to come up with a topic to blog about when I said to myself “Self! I bet our vast and diverse worldwide audience of I’m With Stupid and readers of this blog would like to know a little more about me.” To which I replied “That’s brilliant! I know what I’ll do! I’ll list my top five favorites of various things.” Self thought that was a great idea too. So here ya go!

Five Favorite Mobster Movies: 

1. Godfather I&II
2. Goodfellas
3. Casino
4. The Departed
5. The Untouchables

Five Favorite TV Shows of All Time:

1. The Wire
2. The Shield
3. Keeping Up Appearances
4. The Sopranos
5. Mad Men

Five Favorite Comedy Movies: 

1. Caddyshack
2. Stripes
3. Little Miss Sunshine
4. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
5. Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Five Favorite Comedians of all Time: 

1. George Carlin
2. Chris Rock
3. Richard Pryor
4. Steven Wright
5. Buddy Hackett

Five Favorite Foods: 

1. Pizza (all meat or just pepperoni)
2. Cheeseburgers
3. Spaghetti
4. Beef or Chicken Stew
5. Fried Chicken

Five Favorite Beers:

1. Dos Equis
2. Hoegaarden
3. Guinness
4. Shiner Bock
5. Stella Artois

Five Favorite Fruits: 

1. Strawberries
2. Grapes
3. Granny Smith Apples
4. Oranges
5. Peaches

Five Favorite Mixed Drinks:

1. Margarita
2. Bourbon and Coke
3. Martini
4. Screwdriver (tequila instead of vodka)
5. Manhattan

Five Favorite US Presidents:

1. Abraham Lincoln
2. Teddy Roosevelt
3. FDR
4. George Washington
5. Bill Clinton

Five Favorite NBA Players of All Time: 

1. Michael Jordan
2. Magic Johnson
3. Lebron James
4. George Gervin
5. Sidney Moncrief

Favorite Female Singers of All Time: 

1. Chrissie Hind (The Pretenders)
2. Ann and Nancy Wilson (Heart)
3. Joan Baez
4. Shakira
5. Fiona Apple

Five Favorite Rock Bands of All Time: 

1. Rolling Stones
2. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
3. U2
4. Van Halen (w/ David Lee Roth and/or Sammy Hagar)
5. AC/DC

Five Favor … Aw screw it. That’s enough. I’m sure that was fascinating.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

Monday, April 16, 2012

What's Up With Jay Lately

Hola Y’all! I’m sure you are probably wondering what’s up with the old Jayman lately, so I thought I’d update you.

You know, weeks during the non-football playing parts of the year can be pretty slow and boring. Sure, there’s the NBA on Sunday’s (usually), but other than that, there isn’t crap on TV during the day or night until Mad Men comes on at 9 central Sunday. BTW, speaking of the NBA, it’s nice to see the refs are in “playoff mode” when it comes to helping the Lakers out in big games. The refs came up big for the Lakers making a couple of clutch no calls just when they were needed most.

Anyway, I watch NetFlix or HBO Go a lot on weekends. One thing about those two sites is that you kind of have to know what you want to watch before you get on there. Otherwise you can waste a ton of time scrolling through the different options and then not have time to watch anything. I prefer to watch TV series over movies. Nothing against movies but they just take too much commitment. TV shows or an HBO series are in half our or one hour increments which are much easier because I tend to lose focus after about an hour.

Saturday I tried to watch Bridesmaids. I watched the first hour and hardly even chuckled once. I guess the second hour is where all the funny is? Maybe I’ll go back and try hour two some other time. Which is my point about commitment, what ever happened to the 90 minute comedy? Two freaking hours of fart, poop and menstrual cycle jokes? I’ll pass.

I think I need to Tweet more. There are a lot of people who have no un-Tweeted thoughts. I should be more like them. Just Tweet things like “Damn that was a nice car.” Or “LOL .. People #Funny” and stuff like that. I follow this one chick, I probably shouldn’t put her full Twitter name here, (Redacted)DoobieFly who just Tweets whatever the hell is on her mind all day long. Normally that would annoy me, but for some reason she doesn’t.

What do you think she means by the “Doobie” and “Fly” part of her name? Maybe she’s a big Doobie Brothers fan and wants to be a pilot? Or a flight attendant? Or has always loved Wonder Woman? Yeah, I like the idea of Wonder Woman flying around in her invisible plane listening to the Doobies Brothers on the 8-track.

I need to get my haircut again. Actually, I needed to get it cut the day after the last time I got it cut two weeks ago. Man, that dude did a terrible job. I hope he’s making money off those Teat Party T-Shirts he sells cause I don’t think his barber skills are gonna pay the bills. I need to time this out so that I can also get my hair cut about week before Memorial Day so I’ll look at least semi-presentable when I see the family over in Yellville over Memorial Day Weekend. Anyway, my point is, don’t go to a barber because he’s never busy and you can get in and out quickly.

That same point probably goes for doctors too. I mean, if you walk into a doctor’s office and some dude in a white coat jumps up and grabs his stethoscope and a tongue depressor and is like “Come right on in! You’re next buddy!” you should probably run away as fast as you can. Although, I assume if you were going to the doctor you probably can run that fast anyway cause you’re sick, but you get the point.

And, uh, well, that’s pretty much it. As you can see I’ve been dealing with some pretty heavy-duty stuff the last few days.  Well, other than all the sadness and heartache. But, nobody ever wants to hear about that crap.


--

Also, just in case you didn’t get a chance to listen to Sunday’s “Local News” episode of IWS, you really should check it out. We covered wedding announcements, anniversaries, community events, Tea Party Rallies, local cover bands and oh so much more! Definitely give it a listen…


Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Thursday, June 23, 2011

NBA Needs Creative Trades ....


Hola Bitches!

It's NBA draft time again kids which means we will be watching one of my favorite situations that happens every single year. We will get to watch NBA commissioner David Stern pretend that he can't pronounce the names of the European players who get drafted. Every year it's the same thing. Stern stands up there as if he's Senator Pat Geary trying to pronounce “VEYTOH C-C-Cor – Cor-LE-ON.” Good times. Good times.

Anyway, every year in the days leading up to the draft there are all kinds of trade rumors that get tossed out there. Some even sound feasible and intriguing. But, most of them are just talk because NBA executives know that one bad trade could saddle their team with a massive contract that will keep them from being competitive for years.

But, as I look at all the proposed trades (PT), I think that they just aren't being creative enough. Instead of just trading players, each team should throw in some additional goodies (AG) to spice these trades up...

PT: Miami sends LeBron James to Orlando for Dwight Howard
AG: Orlando gets two cases of Pat Riley's hair product and Miami gets two of Stan Van Gundy's old polyester leisure suits from the 70's that he still hangs onto hoping they'll come back in style.

PT: San Antonio sends DeJuan Blair to Cleveland for Anderson Varejao
AG: Spurs get the rights to sign LeBron James in 2026 and the Cavs get my old George “Iceman” Gervin t-shirt that I wore three times a week while in fourth grade.

Or

PT: Spurs send Tony Parker to Cleveland for Varejao
AG: Spurs send a variety pack of goodies from Mi Tierra Bakery and a promise that Parker won't try to sleep with any of the player's wives. Cleveland sends a big case of Skyline Chili to the Spurs.

PT: Lakers send Lamar Odom to Golden State for Monta Ellis
AG: Lakers get a free one day pass to the O'Farrell Theater for each player. The Warriors each get a free copy of Kloe Kardashian's unreleased sex tape. (Trust me. These are of equal value.)

PT: Washington sends Javale McGee to Minnesota for it's #2 pick
AG: Washington also sends Hillary Clinton, Barbara Mikulski and John Ensign's mistress to Minnesota for Michele Bachmann and one of Hubert Humphrey's granddaughters to be named later.

PT: Milwaukee sends Andrew Bogut to Sacramento for Tyreke Evans
AG: Milwaukee sends a few cases of Milwaukee's Best Light and gets a case of Two Buck Chuck wine. (Hey give me a break people. These two towns don't have much to offer.)

PT: The Knicks send Chauncey Billups (and others) to Memphis for Rudy Gay
AG: NY/NJ Mafia agree to call off any hit they might have put out on Zach Randolph and Rudy Gay gets to play in a town where fans sitting court side won't constantly ask him “Is Rudy … Gay?”

PT: Utah sends the #3 pick and another player to Philly for Andre Iguodala who they then flip to Sacramento for a later pick so they can take <S>some white guy</S> Jimmer Ferdette.
AG: No Mormons knocking on any doors in Sacramento or Philly for 12 months. And no Mormon get shot on a front porch in Philly for 12 months. And everyone on both the Jazz and Kings get two free tickets to see “The Book of Mormon” on Broadway when in NY courtesy of the 76ers.

Portland, Toronto, Denver and Atlanta all have nothing of interest to offer anyone other than some very average players.

So, that's it folks. Some trades that would be made much better if the team executives would get a little more creative.

Jayman