What The Hell Is Wrong With You People!?

Cheers, and a Happy Cambodian Day of Remembrance to you all.  I hope your respectful introspections and reflections go well today.

Y’know folks… In day to day life, I am pretty much a go along, get along kinda guy as far as where other people are concerned.

Everyone has their own foibles, flaws, and quirks.  To which, when I see them on parade, while I may chuckle, I typically just say to myself, “Ha, whatever.”

However…

When those foibles, flaws, and quirks seem to have just taken a dose of stupid steroids, I have to ask to myself and out loud…

What the HELL is wrong with YOU!!?

For instance, yesterday morning I learned that, twenty-two year old Danielle Shea had been arrested for calling in two bomb threats just prior to the Quinnipiac University’s 2014 graduation ceremony.  It seems that Ms. Shea had been living a bit of a lie.

She hadn’t attended QU since 2012 but her parents thought she had been, and expected her to be graduating this spring.  So my oh my, when the family shows up and sees Danielle in her cap and gown, but not her name on the list of graduates, the not so college graduate panics and calls in a bomb threat in order to get the ceremony cancelled.

Ms. Shea?  Danielle?  May I call you Danielle?  You had eighteen months to plan for this day.  In that time, couldn’t you have just told mom and dad that you had dropped out, or at least had an extremely well done forgery of a QU diploma made, and told them that you were skipping the ceremony?

Nooooooooooo…You had to dress the part, realize too late that you were a dumb ass, and then call in a couple of bomb threats.  WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Middletown, Ohio has a new group looking out for your interests and have been handing out fliers promoting their good cause.  It seems that after an arson of a white homeowners house in that city, a new group called, The White Guard is looking out for you white guys and gals in Middletown, OH.

This group states…“Are you a white person who feels unsafe in your own home or on the streets of your city due to the behavior of local black savages who prey on and terrorize whites?” (WHIO-TV Video Link)

Seriously?  In all likelihood it was a couple of stupid teens, be they black, white, or chartreuse who perpetrated the arson.  But, I guess you can use this tragic event as a rallying cry for your hate as you did.
To which I ask of course…WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

And even closer to home and on a more personal level…One of our Beer Mine customers the other day came to purchase some wonderful Beer Mine products.  After his order had been rung up his debit card was run to pay for it.  The card was declined. When hearing this, said customer replied…

“Damn, that’s what they told me at the Speedway up the street ten minutes ago.  All the credit card machines must be messed up today.”

Oh…Dear…God…What…The…Hell…Is…Wrong…With…You!?

As I said folks, I try to go along and get along, but damn.  Sometimes even for a man of my patience and understanding, I sometimes crack.  And well?

It makes my brain hurt.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
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What's Up With That?

Cheers and Happy and/or Observant Memorial Day to you all, especially those of you who are going to
spend the day testing out mattresses during the Serta sale in between beers and brats in honor of our fallen soldiers.

My Memorial Day experience culminated last night as I was thinking philosophically and introspectively.

And let me tell ya, I can’t believe that MS Word didn’t just red underline in my face and auto-correct.  I just spelled everything correctly…wow, and anyhoo…

As today we observe Memorial Day for our fallen soldiers, allow me as well, to honor my self.  For while I am not dead, I am pretty damn close…both nearly literally, and definitely, very much figuratively.

Oh Hooooooooooo, such a fancy braggadocio kinda guy you say…No, not really, you say?

Well I say…”What’s Up With That?”

As much as I am a dreamer and creative kinda guy, I am also unfortunately, very logical, very statistical, and unlike with others, very cynical when it comes to me, so I want my limited years left on this Earth to be enjoyable and so…I ask myself and you, “What‘s Up With That?”

To proceed…

My computer chair will not recline as I type this.  Why, you ask?  Oh no reason…and yet tomorrow?  My computer chair, with no warning nor announcement, may decide to recline like a muthafuckah.  “What’s Up With That?”

Yesterday afternoon after a tiny spat, I walked into the bedroom and asked Schmoop if she wanted to have make up sex.  She said, “Can we do it while I sleep; if not, no.”  “What’s Up With That?”

And after Ryno graduates this Saturday, I am going to ask myself, “Why I am still giving his mom money after she kept me away from him all these years?”  “What’s Up With That?”

Today, I will work at the Beer Mine from 12-9, and upon, and after, listening to the owner and a customer with a couple of kids give me shit, I will think, “What’s Up With That?”

My sister sent me a graduation notice of her kid’s Open House, yet won’t come over while I do her taxes at no cost.  Hmmmmm?  “What’s Up With That?”

I love people, and yet at the same time, HATE them…“What’s Up With That?”

This chair not reclining while I type this, is really fucking pissing me off…”What’s Up With That?”

Doc Thompson is doing morning radio on The Blaze network for Glenn Beck (but I doubt for long.)… “What’s Up With That?”

I appear to be bitching and acting like an old Jewish woman who hasn’t heard from her Shiksa-Marrying son in three years…“What’s Up With That?”

Y’know…

Someday maybe some of these people will ask…

“Hey?  Where’s Mahoney?  He’s Always Here, and Always Funny…What’s Up With That?”

Cheers!!

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws

Annnnnnnd Ladies and Gentlemen, and I use the terms loosely, we had one helluva Memorial Day Show yesterday...We were funny, charming, "solemn", and the lovely Canadian Jamie chimed in.  If you missed it live, you can catch it all right here:

Listen to internet radio with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

Quit Being So Difficult

Hola y’all! You know what really annoys me? The new trend here in Redneckville of people in Walmart walking along beside their cart holding onto the side of it and pulling it along with them. Way to take up the whole fucking isle assholes. Anyway, that’s not what I’m talking about today. I’m gonna talk about the annoying habit people have of acting as it they’re entitled to a different cuisine every night. Here’s a hypothetical type situation to show you what I mean…

Me: Hey! Let’s get some dinner?
Friend: Sure, sounds great.
Me: What do you want?
Friend: Oh anything is cool with me. Just whatever.
Me: Okay, how ‘bout Chinese?
Friend: Yeah, I don’t really like Chinese.
Me: Why didn’t you say so?
Friend: I didn’t think you’d suggest Chinese.
Me: But, you could have said “Anything but Chinese.”
Friend: I just thought I’d roll the dice on that one.
Me: Okay, not problem. How ‘bout burgers?
Friend: I had a burger last night.

Now, this is when things get really dicey. When did we become so damn spoiled that we simply will not have the same thing two days in a row? Are we THAT entitled? Do we have some God-given right to have a variety in our meals and never have to double up? What’s worse is that people who do this have never think twice about having leftovers the next day at home or grabbing a cold slice of pizza from the night before and having it for breakfast. Why pretend to be so pretentious about this shit with your friends?

And just because you had Mexican last night doesn’t mean you can’t have Mexican tonight! So you had a quesadilla yesterday? Big deal! Have chimichanga today. What’s so difficult about that? Mexicans have Mexican food almost every single day. They don’t bitch about it.

Or maybe you had Eggplant Parmigiana last night. Have the Chicken Marsala tonight! It won’t hurt you. It’ll be delicious. Italians do shit like this all the time. And, like Mexicans, they don’t bitch about it either, which is amazing because Italians pretty much bitch about everything.

Hell, A BILLION Chinese have Chinese food two or three times a day, every single day of their lives. They don’t DEMAND something different every night. They don’t ask to mix it up and not have the same thing twice in a row, or twice in a week. Hell, I could have Peking Duck several nights in a row without any complaint whatsoever. Love the crispy skin!

Basically people, if someone asks where you want to go for lunch, don’t say “Oh anywhere you want is fine with me” if it isn’t. See, despite my love of Asian women, I’m not a fan of Chinese food. So, if I’m asked if I have a preference, I’ll say “Anything but Chinese is great” because it is. But, if they don’t ask for a preference and they go to a Chinese place, I will be able to find something I can live with and won’t complain. That’s just the considerate kind of guy I am.

Of course, there’s another annoying person in this situation too. I’m talking about the guy who says “Hey let’s go to breakfast (or lunch or dinner), I’m paying. Wherever you want to go is good with me dude.” And then you get someplace and he’s like “Damn, this is a pretty expensive place. I was thinking Waffle House instead of Bob Evans.”

Don’t be either of these people y’all. Just suck it up, order something yummy and have fun assholes.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS