Matt Said Jay Said 661.244.9852

Matt yammers, Jay yammers, You stare at us in disgust.

Matt: Howdy Ho!
Jay: We gotta make this fast.
Matt: I know you’re a busy man.
Jay: Well, not really, but I gotta hit the store today.
Matt: Is the pantry empty?
Jay: No, it’s gonna SNOW tomorrow!
Matt: Oh shit!
Jay: IKR?!
Matt: Jay … it’s okay. Settle down.
Jay: I’m trying but man … talking ONE TO THREE INCHES!
Matt: Okay, that’s scary, but it’s nothing you can’t handle dude.
Jay: Maybe I should get a case of M&M’s.
Matt: Now, don’t get cra … Plain or Peanut?
Jay: Pfffffft … PLAIN!
Matt: Oh good. I thought you might have gone over the deep end.
Jay: We’re not savages down here, you know!
Matt: I only know what I see on TV and in the movies.
Jay: Those are all made by Northern Elitists.
Matt: Well, you’ve got a point there.

Jay: So what’s going on witchu?
Matt: I’m digging this new schedule.
Jay: Enjoying it, eh?
Matt: Oh yeah, for two weeks I only work 3-5 on BOTH Tues and Thurs!
Jay: That seems hardly worth it though.
Matt: Well I have to go pick up beer after my nap anyway.
Jay: Good point! Beer and cigs.
Matt: Right, the necessities. So, I might as well work for a bit.
Jay: Dude, you have such a cool and practical approach to life.
Matt: I’ve pretty much got it all figured out.
Jay: *Sings* “Did you ever know you’re my he-roooooooo”
Matt: I’m sensing a bit of sarcasm here.
Jay: *Sings* “and everything I want to be …”
Matt: I bet you can fly higher than a fucking eagle?!
Jay: *Sings* “cause you are the wind beneath my wings”
Matt: That’s just great. So sweet.
Jay: Are you crying?
Matt: Only from the pain.
Jay: In your heart?
Matt: My ears.
Jay: Hurtful!

Matt: Okay, Palm FUNday? 
Jay: Damn right!
Matt: What all we gonna talk about?
Jay: Well, Palm Sunday.
Matt: Guy is in Jerusalem for a live report!
Jay: Excellent. And we have Palm Sunday festivities here in Redneckville!
Matt: We need something big too.
Jay: I know. Like an interview.
Matt: One of the Apostles.
Jay: Our gay correspondent Joshua could interview …
Matt: JOHN! He could interview John!
Jay: They have so much in common!
Matt: IKR?! They’re perfect for each other.
Jay: They’ll be fast friends!
Matt: Oh yeah!
Jay: Also, Obama in Israel.
Matt: That’s pretty hilarious.
Jay: Or will be.
Matt: And I’m sure Jesus was quite the rebel beyond entering Jerusalem like that.
Jay: Oh you know it!
Matt: And the NCAA’s
Jay: And FUN! Or enemies of fun like Michael Bloomberg.
Matt: Fuck that guy!
Jay: And whatever else we come up with.
Matt: It’s perfect!
Jay: HUGE!
Matt: We’re gonna destroy!
Jay: Destroy what?
Matt: Whatever there is to destroy!
Jay: DAMN RIGHT!

There you go folks. Another monster IWS coming up on PalmFunday! Be sure to tune in at 12 Noon ET and even give us a call!

IWS Babe of the Week...Ho Ho Ho's

I wasn't much in the Christmas mood until Friday, but since Friday?  Whoooooa-Oh,  Kaaaaaaaaatie bar the door!!  And what better way to share my Christmas spirit than to share some Christmas babes with you...

Every time I see this chick I start strokin' in a winter wonderland...

Santa works hard on Christmas Eve so he deserves a little down time come Christmas Day...

Jayman would appreciate celebrating a Verwy Asian Chwistmas.  Fa ra ra ra ra...ra ra ra rahhhh..

And the Matt-Man?  His fave Christmas Babe for four years running....Ho-Ho-Ho...

IWS Babe of the Week: Timepieces

Daylight Saving Time in the U.S. came to an end this morning at 2 A.M.  I hope you remembered to set your clocks back an hour...

This Asian ruvry is twelve hours ahead of us which is good, because I'd ruv to be behind her.

This chick's second hands are running a bit fast, but not as fast as my heart...

Be it Daylight Saving Time or Standard Time, Jessica Alba is always right on time...

Move over Big Ben.  Big Coco is the one ringing my bell from now on...

And there you have it folks.  The IWS tribute to the end of Daylight Saving Time.  No one does it sexier.

And remember, Jay and Matt broadcast on Blog Talk Radio today LIVE at Noon EST, or if you forgot to set your clocks back, that would be 1 PM EDT.

You can catch us LIVE at Noon EST today breaking down and prognosticating about the 2012 Presidential election as only we can, by clicking HERE.

Cheers!!

Quit Being So Difficult

Hola y’all! You know what really annoys me? The new trend here in Redneckville of people in Walmart walking along beside their cart holding onto the side of it and pulling it along with them. Way to take up the whole fucking isle assholes. Anyway, that’s not what I’m talking about today. I’m gonna talk about the annoying habit people have of acting as it they’re entitled to a different cuisine every night. Here’s a hypothetical type situation to show you what I mean…

Me: Hey! Let’s get some dinner?
Friend: Sure, sounds great.
Me: What do you want?
Friend: Oh anything is cool with me. Just whatever.
Me: Okay, how ‘bout Chinese?
Friend: Yeah, I don’t really like Chinese.
Me: Why didn’t you say so?
Friend: I didn’t think you’d suggest Chinese.
Me: But, you could have said “Anything but Chinese.”
Friend: I just thought I’d roll the dice on that one.
Me: Okay, not problem. How ‘bout burgers?
Friend: I had a burger last night.

Now, this is when things get really dicey. When did we become so damn spoiled that we simply will not have the same thing two days in a row? Are we THAT entitled? Do we have some God-given right to have a variety in our meals and never have to double up? What’s worse is that people who do this have never think twice about having leftovers the next day at home or grabbing a cold slice of pizza from the night before and having it for breakfast. Why pretend to be so pretentious about this shit with your friends?

And just because you had Mexican last night doesn’t mean you can’t have Mexican tonight! So you had a quesadilla yesterday? Big deal! Have chimichanga today. What’s so difficult about that? Mexicans have Mexican food almost every single day. They don’t bitch about it.

Or maybe you had Eggplant Parmigiana last night. Have the Chicken Marsala tonight! It won’t hurt you. It’ll be delicious. Italians do shit like this all the time. And, like Mexicans, they don’t bitch about it either, which is amazing because Italians pretty much bitch about everything.

Hell, A BILLION Chinese have Chinese food two or three times a day, every single day of their lives. They don’t DEMAND something different every night. They don’t ask to mix it up and not have the same thing twice in a row, or twice in a week. Hell, I could have Peking Duck several nights in a row without any complaint whatsoever. Love the crispy skin!

Basically people, if someone asks where you want to go for lunch, don’t say “Oh anywhere you want is fine with me” if it isn’t. See, despite my love of Asian women, I’m not a fan of Chinese food. So, if I’m asked if I have a preference, I’ll say “Anything but Chinese is great” because it is. But, if they don’t ask for a preference and they go to a Chinese place, I will be able to find something I can live with and won’t complain. That’s just the considerate kind of guy I am.

Of course, there’s another annoying person in this situation too. I’m talking about the guy who says “Hey let’s go to breakfast (or lunch or dinner), I’m paying. Wherever you want to go is good with me dude.” And then you get someplace and he’s like “Damn, this is a pretty expensive place. I was thinking Waffle House instead of Bob Evans.”

Don’t be either of these people y’all. Just suck it up, order something yummy and have fun assholes.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS 

Bad Fortune Cookie Messages

Hola y’all! Do you love Chinese food? Of course you do. Everyone does! Well, except me. I know that you’re surprised by that what with my love of Asian babes and all. I’m just weird that way, I guess. Anyway, I do love Fortune Cookies though, even if they are kind of hokey. So, here are some messages you aren’t likely to get in your Fortune Cookies next time you hit the Chinese Buffett.

“Do you really believe this shit?”

“Bet you wish you had done Mexican instead, huh?”

“All previous fortunes are now invalid. Sorry about that.”

“You’re probably gonna die alone.”

“It’s okay to act out your homoerotic dreams.”

“There’s someone hiding in your bedroom closet.”

“Your partner will bring you a surprise that you can treat with antibiotics.”

“Don’t watch that new show ‘Nashville’ on ABC. It’s gonna suck.”

“Those weren’t raisins.”

“The cook with the long hair and dozens of tats and piercings? Yeah, he has TB.”

“That guy you think is your brother is really your father.”

“You will live downstairs from a sexual deviant with bad taste in music.”

“Creepy guys will sniff you in the elevator.”

“You have 20 minutes to get home before the cramps start.”

“I bet you were going to put a pic of this on Instagram, weren’t you?”

“Listen to I’m With Stupid every Wed at 11 am ET and Sun at 12 Noon ET: www.blogtalkradio.com/im-with-stupid.”

“You should probably take it easy on the Crab Rangoon big boy.”

“Your mother never really loved you.”

“99% of your Facebook ‘friends’ hate you.”


Okay, there you go. That’s way better than all the silly “You will meet a mysterious stranger” stuff you usually get!

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

In other news we welcomed the lovely and hilarious Missy to IWS today and she did NOT disappoint! She told us about all the weird and wacky things that have happened to her over the years. So definitely check this show out!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Why Asian Chicks Rule

Hola bishes! So, I have often times been asked what it is I love so much about Asian chicks. Normally, I’m asked this question by bitter, angry middle aged white women whose best days are behind them. Of course, I’m always taken aback by these questions because I can’t believe anyone wouldn’t love Asian chicks.

They’re Substantive: Unlike their white counterparts, Asian chicks are not superficial and shallow. They are women of substance. They educate themselves and prefer to be known for the things they accomplish in the intellectual and artistic fields rather than just being famous only for being famous.

They’re Thoughtful and Considerate: Asian girls aren’t self-absorbed like most white women are. Asian chicks actually think about others more than they do themselves. They genuinely care about your wellbeing and don’t find a way to make everything about them like white chicks do. Asian chicks are actually capable of feeling empathy for other people and aren’t dismissive of others. They’re sweet, caring and never rude and hateful like white chicks.

They’re Exotic: While white women tend to be pretty basic, Asians are often times very exotic. Their beautiful shiny black hair and smoldering dark eyes are just down right sexy. Not to mention their perfect little bums and beautiful legs. They don’t have to pile on makeup and have tons of cosmetic surgeries to look any certain way. Asian women are just so naturally alluring that they don’t have to do anything other than just be themselves to be sexy.

White Women Hate Them: If you want to get white women all riled up, just talk about how hawt Asian Chicks are. Nothing makes a white woman lose it faster than that. They start screaming uncontrollably about how much they hate Asian Chicks and start calling them names and insulting them. It’s really sad to see that kind of jealously and racism from anyone and only serves to prove the overall superiority of Asian girls as they would NEVER speak so horribly about white chicks in the same manner. And let me tell ya kids, I will get LOTS of flack over this post, but I don’t care. The truth hurts sometimes.

They Have a Sense of Humor: Asian chicks are funny. They love to laugh. And, most importantly they think I’m funny. Sure, some white chicks are funny, but usually it’s a “mean funny.” You know, they can only be funny by making fun of others or saying mean things about others. However, Asian chicks are genuinely funny and can make jokes about anything at all and don’t have to resort to belittling others.

Asian Chicks are Loving and Accepting: Again, unlike white chicks, Asian women accept people for who they are. They don’t demand people act or look a certain way. They see the inner goodness and beauty of others. This is something most white women just don’t understand. White women make all kinds of demands on people and try to force people to fit their idea of what they should be. Asian women asses who you are accept that and love you for you and what you are without condition. THIS is really the most important reason that Asian chicks totally rule!

So, as you can see, there really isn’t much argument to this. Asian chicks totally freaking rule. While it is true that there are a few white chicks who rock too, mostly ones who are really talented, smart or mixed race, most of them just don’t stack up to the overall awesomeness of Asian babes.

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

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In other news yesterday on IWS Matt-Man and I broke down and analyzed The Hunger Games like no one else ever has. Then we discussed things that we hunger for and let me tell, that was a pretty impressive list of stuff from the tangible to the “oh you’re just dreaming now.” It was another quality 45 minutes of Awesome Sauce that will satisfy all your hungers. Hell, this show was so damn good that even Dana got her first ever “Hey-OOOO.” So, how could you not listen? You gotta!  

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Hope Chokes, IWS Jokes ...

On Sunday night, with the entire world watching, American superstar goalkeeper, the darling of the American sports media stood in front of the net awaiting one last onslaught from the Japanese. This set piece would likely be Japan’s last shot at an equalizer. One more play from the best goalkeeper in the world is all America needed for a World Cup win and the return of the Unites States Women’s National Team to their God-Given spot on top of the soccer (futbol) world. 

But, it was not to be. A perfect corner kick, followed by a laser shot off the foot of Homare Sawa left Hope Solo and the Americans stunned and the game headed for penalty kicks.  There was really no doubt about what was to come next. 

Despite all the hype from the media, and bravado from Solo herself, it was Japan’s Ayumi Kaihori who made the big saves.  It was a striking contrast between the two. Solo was the flashy and brash statuesque beauty that was ready to cash in on her fame back home. Kaihori was the diminutive, spikey haired and unassuming opposite who only needed a plaid shirt and Birkenstocks to complete “the look.” 

How could this happen? Team USA had everything going for them. Confidence. Talent. And the fact that they, as all American teams, were the hardest working, most fit, most competitive team in the history of World Cup play. Plus, as was pointed out by many after the Tsunami that hit Japan earlier this year, America had God on their side. But, happen it did.

Maybe Japan was actually the team of destiny? Maybe it was their turn and maybe God decided they deserved a big win for once. After the Nagasaki and Hiroshima bombs. After the Godzilla attacks starting in the 50’s.  After the economic disasters of the 90’s. And the Tsunami and meltdown at the Fukushima nuclear plant, maybe it was finally time for Japan to win something and have something to celebrate?

Nawwwwww. Hope Solo choked.*  LeBron James style.

Anyhoodle, this morning on I’m With Stupid, the Matt-Man and I hit on the USWNT’s Debacle in Deutschland as well as Fox News’ repeatedly pointing out that Barack Obama Mitt Romney is “Obviously not a Christian” and other brilliant moments brought to us by the meeting of Mensa Minds that is Fox and Friends. We also talked a bit about good old Herman Cain and Marcus Bachmann’s alleged gayness. Now, it should be pointed out that WE aren’t making any accusations. We just pointed out that Marcus has a lot of show tunes on his iPod and owns the first two seasons of Glee on DVD.  We report and you decide.

So, if you have nothing better to do, and even if you do, give us a listen using the fancy-schmancy BTR player below.  We think you’ll have a pretty good time. As always, we thank you for your support.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

*Even so, congrats to Japan on their thrilling victory. I was much deserved.