Here's Why Everyone is So Angry

Hola y’all! It seems like almost everyone is just wandering around being grumpy all the time these days. We’re all in a bad mood and we’re taking it out on each other. But, WHY are we in such a bad mood all the time lately? Well …

We have to constantly worry that the guy standing in line in front of us at Walmart who can’t stop hacking and coughing might give us some nasty virus like Ebola. Oh sure, government officials keep telling us how hard it is to contract Ebola, but THE MOST TRUSTED NAME IN NEWS might beg to differ:

Not only are we worried that we or our family and friends could catch something nasty we are also worried that our computers, tablets and mobile devices could too:

Because of that we find ourselves looking for a distraction. Maybe a distraction like Canadian tennis superstar Eugenie Bouchard in a bikini, eh?

Of course that kind of distraction leads us to engage in other no-so-wholesome activities:

But, halfway through that activity a little voice in our heads reminds us of something that ruins the mood:

So now we know that when we reach the Pearly Gates we’re gonna be asked why we were doing THAT and our only answer will be “I don’t know. Boobs.”

We all know how THAT will work out:

So that’s why we walk around town all day with a frown on our faces and are so grumpy all the time:

Damn, it’s enough to drive a man to drink:

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Jennifer Aniston: Person of the Week!

IWS Radio is proud to name Jennifer Aniston as our “Person of the Week!”

By all accounts Jennifer Aniston is a swell person. She’s smart and funny and seems to be a genuinely down to earth, easy-going babe. She also just happens to sport an iconic haircut, be drop-dead gorgeous and have killer legs.

All of this is really great and rather fortuitous because her movies just suck. The only movie she’s ever been in that I actually remember liking is “Office Space” way back in the day. That movie was a riot and she was soooooo damn cute in it. After that? Not so much. Oh sure, she’s looked good in all her movies, but the movies themselves have been pretty crappy.

Jennifer is a superstar who burst onto the scene in wildly overrated “Friends.” Yes, she did win both a Golden Globe and an Emmy for playing Rachel Green. For the life of me I have no idea how she actually won any awards for her acting. Oh yeah ….

Anyhoodle, after “Friends” mercifully went away (well, they stopped making new episodes, obviously thanks to syndication it will NEVER go away) Mz. Aniston decided it was time to conquer the world of movies. She did so too with one crappy flop after another. Oh sure there were a few in there that did okay at the box office, but only if her costars could bring a decent audience. Like maybe Jim Carrey in “Bruce Almighty.”

To Jen’s credit she does appear to have a decent hit going right now with “We’re the Millers.” As with other box office success it helps her immensely to have Jason Sudeikis as her costar. Oh and did I mention she plays a stripper and even does a little striptease routine? Non-nude, of course.

Which brings me to my final point about Jennifer Aniston. Have you ever noticed that every year it seems that there is a story that Aniston is finally ready to do a nude scene in her next movie? And have you ever noticed that the reported nude scene never happens? Me too. That’s why I signed and Tweeted the Jennifer Aniston boycott petition and think you should too! As long is Jen is going to keep teasing us with possible nudity and not delivering we shouldn’t pay to watch her movies!

That aside, congrats to Jennifer Aniston for being named IWS’ “Person of the Week!”

And be sure to catch us on IWS Sunday at 12 Noon ET as we celebrate the “Dog Days of Summer!”

Oscars Fashion Report with Bonnie & Clyde

Hola y’all! Bonnie Boner and Clyde S. Dale are here for IWS with the only Oscars Fashion Report you’ll need. They’re gonna talk about who looked great and not so great on Hollywood’s biggest night.

Bonnie: Thanks so much to the guys at IWS for asking us to do the Fashion Report! We’re soooo excited, right Clyde?
Clyde: OHHH ….. MYGOD! This is the most exciting thing that has happened to me since I saw Lance Bass doing the walk of shame outside of my West Village apartment at 7 am one Sunday morning!
Bonnie: Okay, we should get started. I’M SO EXCIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITED!
Clyde: Honey, you need to calm down! Although, it is nice to see you living up to your last name.

First up: Anne Hathaway…

Bonnie: I really do love Anne. I mean, she’s a truly gifted actress and a really great human being. I know that because she’s told me that she’s both of those things over and over and over. And, judging by this picture she’s happy to see me! It’s okay though I’ve seen her boobs more times than I’ve seen my own. We get it Anne, you’ve got great boobs. Thanks.

Clyde: Girl, we need to head up to San Quentin and find some guys who are in prison for a gang rape and have them hold her down and force feed her a cheeseburger. And what’s with the hair? Seriously Anne, even Daniel Day Lewis didn’t stay in character all the way to the Oscars. Let the hair grow out again and stop barfing up your dinner.

Next we have Jennifer Aniston…

Bonnie: Well, it certainly was a surprise to see Jen there. I mean, we know she isn’t there because she was nominated for anything. I guess they just took pity on her and offered to let her present. Hollywood is so full of caring people like that.

Clyde: It is, Bonnie and you’d think she would pay her friends who got her into this back by actually dressing up and at least pretending to enjoy the event. I get that she’s depressed that she’s about that age where in a few years she will have to buy a ticket, but that’s no reason to be such a sourpuss.

Okay, now we’ve got Octavia Spencer…

Bonnie: Oh dear. Well, look, Octavia is a very nice person, I met her once when I accidentally thought she was clearing tables and washing dishes at Chateau Marmot one night. It was an honest mistake.

Clyde: Yeah, and we know who was eating all of Anne Hathaway’s leftovers too! And the desserts! Hey-OOOOOOOOO!

And real quick, last one in this segment is Heidi Klum…

Bonnie: Wow! You know, I’m not saying that Heidi doesn’t look good for someone so … well, someone her age, but is it really necessary to be hanging out all over the place? God, we’ve seen those things enough anyway. And, quit pretending that they’re still naturally that firm and perky!

Clyde: IKNOWRITE? Girl, if you took those implants out and burned them that silicone would create so much white smoke they would see it all the way in Rome and think they found a new Pope already. Besides, it’s not like Heidi is actually an actress or anything like that. There’s just no reason to show up at a party to celebrate a group you’re not a part of dressed like you’re ready to sample some sausages in the back after the show Fräulein.

Okay, that’s it for the first segment of today’s Fashion Report on IWS. Be sure to stay with us through the break because when we come back we’re gonna answer the question “Which will Kristen Stewart do first? Sober up, or shower?” Also, later in the show we’ll have female bloggers from various feminist sites on to dish more fashion AND talk about what a mean, hateful, sexist, racist and misogynist jerk Seth MacFarlane is. You don’t want to miss that!

Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

Also, be sure to join us for I Love My Khuntry on I'm With Stupid as we talk about all the hoopla and over the top fake outrage and anger over this year's Oscars as well as other big news of the week at 11 AM ET! 

Jayman is Fascinating

Hola Y’all! While I’m off enjoying Super Happy Margarita Night here in the Jewel of the Midwest, here’s another fun meme to keep you entertained.

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Not a real cop.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
I don’t ride roller coasters.


3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
Years and years and years ago.


4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Well, you know that I *AM* the world’s greatest cuddler.


5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Definitely.  I’ve seen lots of ‘em.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Sometimes, I guess.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
I have no doubt whatsoever.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Team Aniston

9. Do you stay friends with your exes?
Kinda

10. Do you know how to play poker?
I know the basic rules and idea behind Texas Hold-Em, but I’m not very good at it.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Cocaine is a hellova drug.

12. What's your favorite commercial?
It’s an old one but “I LIKE TACOS!”

13. What are you allergic to?
Mangos and success.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?
No, ‘cause you know there is a cop pretty close and he'll nail me.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
More than one.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Niether. OH GOD I HATE THEM BOTH AND THEIR FAN BASES SO MUCH!

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Yes, a long, loooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago.

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
About half the time.

19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
During our Lesbian Celebration show.

20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
Hey Jude
Revolution
I Wanna Hold Your Hand
Dear Prudence
Get Back

21. What's the one thing on your mind now?
Holy crap those margaritas are good!

22. Do you know who Ghetto-ass barbie is?
No, but I've known a few Barbies who lived in the Ghetto

23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yes, always.

24. What cell service do you use?
Net 10 cause I’m fancy like that.

25. Do you like Sushi?
No, cause my sister tried to use it to kill me once.

26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
Yes

27. What do you wear to bed?
Nothing. Sexy, right?

28. Been caught stealing?
Caught? No.

29. What shoe size do you have?
12.5 or 13.

30. Do you truly hate anyone?
Yes, but I'm trying to get past that. It’s bad to hate.

31. Classic Rock or Rap?
I love and hate both of them.

32. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Sofia Vergara

Or, Zhang Ziyi

33. Favorite Song?
There’s no way to come up with ONE favorite song.

34. Have you ever sung in front of the mirror?
Haven’t we all?

35. What food do you find disgusting?
Mayonnaise

36. Do you sing in the shower?
Not usually.

37. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"?
Many times, in fact I’d be willing to play with many of you right now.

38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
No more than you have.

39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Yes.

40. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes.


Woo-Hoo! Another fascinating trip to Jaymanville!

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS 


Be sure to check out the I’m With Stupid podcast! The #1 Comedy Show on Blog Talk Radio!

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Celebrity Death Pool 2012

Hola Bitches and welcome to 2012. How was your New Year’s Weekend? That’s great! Really? Wow! Dude was hung like a donkey! Well, I’m glad you’re happy. Oh mine? It was … nice. We had an excellent New Year’s Eve Party on I’m With Stupid Saturday night. It was lots of fun and games and all that. Then, I called into Dr. Mike’s and Warrior Kat’s show and we brought in the New Year in style. So, the Jayman had some excitement of his own this weekend. Oh yeah!

Anyway, as is tradition here on the IWS Blog, on the first post of the New Year, I publish my Celebrity Death Pool. This is the list of celebrities and pseudo-celebrities who I believe will kick the bucket in 2012. Now, I’m not saying I WANT these people to die. I’m just saying I think they WILL.

2012 Celebrity Death Prediction:

We’ll start with the people I put on the list every year because they are either very old or have a very high risk lifestyle:

- Abe Vigoda

- Wilford Brimely

- Keith Richards

- Betty White

- Ernest Borgnine

- Betty White

- Larry King

- Lindsay Lohan

- Leif Garrett

- Jim Cantore

Next we’ll list some people who have been very sick and are probably not going to make it:

- Aretha Franklin

- Etta James

- Larry Hagman

- Muhammad Ali

- Michael Douglas

- Nancy Reagan

- Margaret Thatcher

- Joe Paterno

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

- Robin Gibb

Of course, we’re about due for another former president to pass away. I think I’ll go with George H. W. Bush. I know his being the oldest makes this an obvious pick, but it’s really just a personal preference guess.

The only group left would be people who are young and/or healthy and don’t seem likely to die. These are the hardest ones to predict. (see: Phoenix, River and Ledger, Heath) So, they may seem like a stretch, but just remember anything is possible.

- Jennifer Aniston: Freak hairstyling accident.

- Dakota Fanning: She’s right in the drug experimenting accident age range.

- Nicolas Cage: Crazy people die crazy.

- Pitbull: There has to be a rapper on the list, right?

- Ralphie May: Many comedians live fast and die young.

- Lady Ga Ga: It just wouldn’t be her style not to.

- Andy Samberg: Young comedian AND SNL cast member? He’s toast.

- Heather Graham: The Brittany Murphy category

- Robert Pattinson: The Heath Ledger category

- Brandon Marshall: Gotta have an athlete on the list too.

Okay, so that about covers it. There’s my prediction for who is mostly like to die in 2012. Of course, I hope none of them do.

Jayman
Email: Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook: Jayman68
Twitter: Jayman_IWS

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In other news, as I mentioned earlier, we held a very special New Year’s Eve Party on I’m With Stupid. It was pretty much non-stop fun and jocularity. We came up with some great predictions for 2012, took calls and just reveled in the fun and excitement of the New Year.

So, give it a listen and relive that great night over and over again with us. 

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio