2015 Celebrity Death Pool Predictions

Holaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa y’all! It’s time once again for Jayman’s Celebrity Death Pool Predictions. Here are the celebrities that I think will tragically meet their maker in 2015.

First the list of rather obvious people who may be circling the drain already, take a lot of risks or are just so damn old you’re surprised to find out that they are still alive.

- Abe Vigoda

- Wilford Brimely

- Keith Richards

- Betty White

- Kirk Douglas

- Leif Garrett

- Jim Cantore

- Aretha Franklin

- Muhammad Ali

- Lindsay Lohan

- Larry King

- Michael Douglas

- Nancy Reagan

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

- Prince Phillip – Duke of Edinburgh

- Rob Ford

- Monty Hall

- One of the Olsen Twins (The hot one. I think. I get them confused.)

- Little Richard

- Bob Barker  

Next we go to the list of people who nobody really expects to die next year, but totally could.

- Bill Cosby will accidentally take a sip from the spiked drink and fall over dead right in front of Lindsay Lohan. It’s a double tragedy because he didn’t realize he wouldn’t have had to drug her.

- Wes Welker will become the first NFL player to die on the field. It’s going to happen sometime so it might as well happen to the guy who has had 1,933 concussions and has to wear a special helmet.

- Chris Hayes will get hit in the head by a stray rock at the next big riot by people who are angry man and die from uncontrolled bleeding of the brainstem.

- Artie Lang, after a life of alcohol and drug abuse and over-eating, will be electrocuted in a freak accident when he swipes his room key at the La Quinta Inn in Chattanooga while returning to his room from the hot tub.

- Grumpy Cat will die of a catnip overdose.

- Lena Dunham will die after falling into one too many rage spirals after she once again forces people to point out that she really is just as horrible a person as she believes herself to be.

- Whitey Bulger will be murdered in prison on the orders of Aaron Hernandez.

- Former NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg will die tragically after he wears specially made platform shoes to trick the guy running the Fire in the Hole ride at Silver Dollar City. He’ll slip right out from under the safety bar on his cart and fall to his death.

- Dr. Oz will die LIVE on the air of his TV show after taking a diet supplement that he insists will help people lose 20% of their body fat in less than 24 hours with no negative health effects.

- Kanye West will die in a freak accident when he trips in his bedroom, falls face first into Kim Kardashians ass and bounces backwards at such a high velocity that it knocks him through the bedroom window in the penthouse of the JW Marriott Marquis in Dubai and falls seventy-seven floors to his death.  

As always, I’m saying I want these people to die (well, most of them anyway), I’m just saying I think they might.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Friend me on Facebook
Follow me on Twitter

Whitney Houston Dies and Social Media Freaks Out

Hola! Well, another celebrity has died unexpectedly (kinda) and once again it has been fascinating to pop some popcorn, open a beer and just sit back and watch Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook lose their collective shit. It’s fast becoming my favorite activity. I almost wish a celebrity would die every week just so I could enjoy the reaction. But, that would make me a bad person, so I don’t. Okay, how ‘bout every two weeks?

Anyway, when things like this happen, I’ve found that most people fall into one or more of several categories…

1. The Biggest Fan: This is the person, usually a girl, who does the “You guys just don’t understand how much I loved *insert name of recently deceased celebrity here*. I was sooooo much more of a fan than you were.”

2. The “Who” Guy: This is the guy who retweets the breaking news announcement with a dismissive “Who?” He’s usually the guy who loves to tell everyone how he doesn’t follow any popular movies, TV shows, sports, books, music or any other pop culture, probably doesn’t own a TV and is in general just way fucking superior to you. He usually uses a Mac and does most of his online activity while squatting at Starbucks. 

3. The Judgy McJudgerson: This is the guy or girl who basically makes the argument that the celebrity deserved to die because they were engaging in illegal or immoral activities. This person is not the same as, but has lots in common with…

4. The “Pathetic” Guy: This is the guy or girl who loves to mock celebrities because they’re all pathetic and are all addicted to drugs and alcohol. As if celebrities are the only people who are. 

5. Sanctimonious Guy (or Girl): This is the person who is quick to post things like “Well, I’ll say a prayer for the thousands of everyday people who died today who aren’t celebrities and don’t get any publicity.” Or worse, the guy (or girl) posts that or something similar but includes a picture of flag draped coffins of soldiers who have died in battle. What’s really terrible about this person is they’re full of shit. Almost none of them have ever said a prayer for all the “regular” people who have died that day including soldiers.

6. Tweeter Guy (or Girl): This is the person who just retweets updates as they’re posted by TMZ or other Breaking News Twitter Account. Just in case others haven’t heard the latest.

7. The Always Late Guy (or Girl): This is the person who either retweets a Breaking News tweet about the celebrity’s death about 6 hours after everyone else first heard about it or just tweets “OMG! Whitney Houston Died???????” during the Grammy’s 30 hours after her death.

8. Gilbert Gottfried Wannabe: This person, usually a guy, just spends the night trying to come up with the most offensive and disrespectful jokes to make about the dead celebrity. Usually these people suck, but occasionally, they’re actually kind of funny. But, the worst of these people are the ones who take other people’s jokes they saw on Twitter and post them on Tumblr as their own. Those people deserve to die.

9. Page View and Ratings Guy: This is the guy who makes up lists about social media when celebrities like Whitney Houston die just to get page views on his blog or listens on his podcast. Man, that guy sucks.

Jayman
Email: Jayman3768@gmail.com
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS

Celebrity Death Pool 2012

Hola Bitches and welcome to 2012. How was your New Year’s Weekend? That’s great! Really? Wow! Dude was hung like a donkey! Well, I’m glad you’re happy. Oh mine? It was … nice. We had an excellent New Year’s Eve Party on I’m With Stupid Saturday night. It was lots of fun and games and all that. Then, I called into Dr. Mike’s and Warrior Kat’s show and we brought in the New Year in style. So, the Jayman had some excitement of his own this weekend. Oh yeah!

Anyway, as is tradition here on the IWS Blog, on the first post of the New Year, I publish my Celebrity Death Pool. This is the list of celebrities and pseudo-celebrities who I believe will kick the bucket in 2012. Now, I’m not saying I WANT these people to die. I’m just saying I think they WILL.

2012 Celebrity Death Prediction:

We’ll start with the people I put on the list every year because they are either very old or have a very high risk lifestyle:

- Abe Vigoda

- Wilford Brimely

- Keith Richards

- Betty White

- Ernest Borgnine

- Betty White

- Larry King

- Lindsay Lohan

- Leif Garrett

- Jim Cantore

Next we’ll list some people who have been very sick and are probably not going to make it:

- Aretha Franklin

- Etta James

- Larry Hagman

- Muhammad Ali

- Michael Douglas

- Nancy Reagan

- Margaret Thatcher

- Joe Paterno

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

- Robin Gibb

Of course, we’re about due for another former president to pass away. I think I’ll go with George H. W. Bush. I know his being the oldest makes this an obvious pick, but it’s really just a personal preference guess.

The only group left would be people who are young and/or healthy and don’t seem likely to die. These are the hardest ones to predict. (see: Phoenix, River and Ledger, Heath) So, they may seem like a stretch, but just remember anything is possible.

- Jennifer Aniston: Freak hairstyling accident.

- Dakota Fanning: She’s right in the drug experimenting accident age range.

- Nicolas Cage: Crazy people die crazy.

- Pitbull: There has to be a rapper on the list, right?

- Ralphie May: Many comedians live fast and die young.

- Lady Ga Ga: It just wouldn’t be her style not to.

- Andy Samberg: Young comedian AND SNL cast member? He’s toast.

- Heather Graham: The Brittany Murphy category

- Robert Pattinson: The Heath Ledger category

- Brandon Marshall: Gotta have an athlete on the list too.

Okay, so that about covers it. There’s my prediction for who is mostly like to die in 2012. Of course, I hope none of them do.

Jayman
Email: Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook: Jayman68
Twitter: Jayman_IWS

--

In other news, as I mentioned earlier, we held a very special New Year’s Eve Party on I’m With Stupid. It was pretty much non-stop fun and jocularity. We came up with some great predictions for 2012, took calls and just reveled in the fun and excitement of the New Year.

So, give it a listen and relive that great night over and over again with us. 

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio