Here's Why Everyone is So Angry

Hola y’all! It seems like almost everyone is just wandering around being grumpy all the time these days. We’re all in a bad mood and we’re taking it out on each other. But, WHY are we in such a bad mood all the time lately? Well …

We have to constantly worry that the guy standing in line in front of us at Walmart who can’t stop hacking and coughing might give us some nasty virus like Ebola. Oh sure, government officials keep telling us how hard it is to contract Ebola, but THE MOST TRUSTED NAME IN NEWS might beg to differ:

Not only are we worried that we or our family and friends could catch something nasty we are also worried that our computers, tablets and mobile devices could too:

Because of that we find ourselves looking for a distraction. Maybe a distraction like Canadian tennis superstar Eugenie Bouchard in a bikini, eh?

Of course that kind of distraction leads us to engage in other no-so-wholesome activities:

But, halfway through that activity a little voice in our heads reminds us of something that ruins the mood:

So now we know that when we reach the Pearly Gates we’re gonna be asked why we were doing THAT and our only answer will be “I don’t know. Boobs.”

We all know how THAT will work out:

So that’s why we walk around town all day with a frown on our faces and are so grumpy all the time:

Damn, it’s enough to drive a man to drink:

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Alec Baldwin is our Person of the Week!

The IWS Person of the Week is one of America's most respected and accomplished actors, Alec Baldwin!

Alec is well know for his roles in both the movies and on TV and for his versatility in playing both dramatic and comedic characters. He is perhaps best known though for delivering one of the best monologues in history in Glengarry Glen Ross ...

                              

And in fairness, he's also known as a raging asshole ...

And he's known as the father of super hot supermodel Ireland Baldwin whom he infamously called a "pig" once ...

I can understand how frustrating the paparazzi can get, especially when they won't leave your family alone, but dude, enough with all the racial and homophobic slurs, okay? Thanks.

Anyway, congrats to Alec Baldwin for being named the IWS Person of the Week!


And, don't forget to join us for "Food, Family and Festivities: The Holidays are Coming" on IWS Radio at 12 Noon ET!!!!

Taylor Swift and Jennifer Love Hewitt: A Comparative Study

Hola Bitches.

You’ll have to excuse me. My post was originally going to be about how Alec Baldwin is nothing like his reputation. I tried to make the case that Alec is NOT an egomaniacal rageaholic in need of at least a decade of anger management classes before he could even be called a halfway decent person. But, I had to trash it and do something else.

Thanks a lot Alec. You pompous, selfish, out of control, loud-mouthed, BASTARD! NOW I HAVE TO COME UP WITH AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT BLOG POST ON SHORT NOTICE. ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY? ARE YOU? YOU FUCKING DISGUST ME!

Uh, sorry, almost lost my cool for a second there.

Okay, so back to Celebrity Reputations. I’ve been working on this for a while now. And by “working” I mean “thinking about it while taking a dump,” and by “a while” I mean this afternoon. We all know that it’s possible, and even likely that many celebrities are the exact opposite of their public reputation.

And, sometimes two celebrities who seem like exact opposites of each opposite of each other, really are, but for the exact opposite reasons. Does that make any sense? Here, let me give you the best example I could come up with after years months days hours a few minutes of thinking about it.

Let’s take Jennifer Love Hewitt (Ed’s note: RAWR!) and Taylor Swift. Now, there’s really no doubt that these two are pretty much opposites. But, isn’t it possible that they opposites while each of them are the exact opposite of what most people’s perception of them is? I’ll explain…

Taylor Swift: She is actually a cold-hearted, no-talent, man eater. She chews men up and spits them out. She’s an animal in bed and is the absolute greatest lay in the entire world. She uses men for sex and when she’s tired of them tosses ‘em aside like yesterday’s trash. She also uses her sex appeal to get what she wants. 

  

JLH: She is actually a shy, modest, painfully naïve lady who is sweet and caring but not all that experienced or wise to the ways of the world. She is overflowing with love and talent and boys fall in love with her immediately and while she thinks they’re sweet she doesn’t want to compromise her Christian values by losing her virginity to someone who won’t treasure it. 

See? They’re total opposites, but also the opposite of their public persona. And I can only assume John Meyer wrote “Your Body is a Wonderland” for Jennifer Love Hewitt because he was wondering what it would be like to actually get to touch the frigid little Miss Goody Two-Shoes.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS

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In other news we had a great Show Prep session Wed on “I’m With Stupid.” We actually did do show prep this time, just to mix things up a bit. We also made a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT.

That announcement is that I’m With Stupid’s Saturday show will be moving to 11 pm EST, 10 pm Central, 9 pm Mountain, 8 pm Pacific and 12 noon on Sundays in Manila, the Philippines. So, mark your calendars, put the beer on ice and be sure to join us for a rollicking good time!

And, just for the fun of it, listen to Wednesday’s show prep show too. There you will find out what Saturday’s show topic will be. You’re gonna love it!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Schweddy Balls Will Never Touch These Lips

As you probably know by now, Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream released a new flavor this week called “Schweddy Balls.”  It’s a tribute to one of the great Saturday Night Live skits of all time when Alec Baldwin was a “guest” on *says in a low, breathy voice* National Public Radio.

Anyway, as you can imagine there some organizations out there have a problem with this. And they all have something to do with “Family” “Jesus” or “Mommy.” One such organization is One Million Moms. They’re damn pissed! 

But, there is another group located here in Redneckville, Arkansas that is even more pissed, but isn’t as well-known as One Million Moms. This group is named World Holiness Order of Reformed Evangelical Sinners. Or just the “Holiness Order.” 

Because we are a public service blog, Matt-Man and I agreed to let the President of this group, Anita Lay, use this blog to express their extreme displeasure with Ben & Jerry’s decision to release “Schweddy Balls.” 

“As Jayman would say ‘Hola Bit … uh … Slang Term for Female Dogs’ hehe … Anita Lay, President of the Holiness Order here! And I would like to thank the boys at I’m With Stupid for letting me vent here. It’s very nice of them even if I do find them to be morally reprehensible most of the time. 

Anyway, I’m here to ask, no, DEMAND that the left-wing, socialist-loving company Ben & Jerry’s put their Schweddy Balls away! Nobody wants to see them. They shouldn’t be out in public.  Look, I don’t care what someone does in private. But, I shouldn’t have to worry about my kids walking through the ice cream section of the grocery store and risk seeing Schweddy Balls! And they damn well better not see anyone licking some Schweddy Balls at the ice cream shop at the outdoor mall! 

They are entirely too young to know what Schweddy Balls are and what you do with them. And I shouldn’t be forced to discuss this with them just yet. They will learn these things on their wedding night like I did.  It’s bad enough that when my kids were playing ‘Dancing with The Stars’ the other night my son was wearing my house dress and claimed he was doing a ‘Reverse Chaz Bono.’ *shudder* 

How far have we fallen as a society when we allow something like ice cream to be perverted with the name of ‘Schweddy Balls?’ I mean, what the H.E. Double Hockey Stick? Why don’t they just come out with a whole line of offensive ice cream names? Names like…

‘It Taint Bad’
‘Swamp Ass’
‘Boob Sweat’
‘Cleveland Steamer’
‘Tossed Salad’
‘Fudge Packer’
‘Pearl Necklace’

Not that I have any idea what any of those terms mean. I had the black kid next door right down a few of them for me. I knew he would know them. The heathen. 

Oh and one last thing because I know you are wondering. These lips HAVE NEVER and WILL NEVER touch any Schweddy Balls. I’m not even the least bit curious what it would be like at all. AAAAANND, no Schweddy Balls will ever touch my daughter’s lips either. And they sure AS HECK won’t touch my son’s lips! So there! 

Anyway, thank you for letting me speak my mind here today. God bless you, and God Bless I’m With Stupid and GOD BLESS AMERICA!”

Anita Lay
Head HO

Also, because I’m a world famous internet radio star, and marketing and branding expert, I am currently acting as the interim communications director. I’m doing this for free because I’m a Person Interesting in Making Progress. So, if you have any comments or complaints, feel free to contact me.

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman_iws