What IWS Fans Are Saying

Showing posts with label Cooking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cooking. Show all posts

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Jayman's Beef Stew Recipe

Holaaaaaaaaa! It’s beef stew night at Chez Jay’s!

First we get all the ingredients together…

1 can of Peas
1 can of Green Beans
1 small can of Mushrooms
1 can of Diced Tomatoes
1 can of Carrots
1 can of Whole Kernel Corn
1 Onion
2 or 3 decent sized Russet Potatoes
1 10.4 oz can of Beef Consume
1 14 oz can of Beef Broth
1 lb of Stew Meat 

I start by chopping the onion...


Then I throw it in the big pot with some olive oil and sweat the onions...


Cut up the stew meat into small pieces...


Toss the stew meat in a big Tupperware thing with some flour, garlic powder and Cavender’s seasoning. You can use a Ziploc bag, but those things are expensive. If you use the Tupperware thingy all you have to do is wash it out real quick and it’s ready to be used for the leftovers. (I bet Rachael Ray would be impressed with that!)...


After the onions are just about translucent you throw in the meat to brown it (add some salt and pepper if you want, but remember that the Cavender’s has both in it too!)...


Then you pour all the veggies, consume and the broth in. Also, refill the empty 14 oz broth can with water and throw that in too (twice or three times if you want it more soupy). Bring to a light but steady boil and let it all get happy and cooked all the way through for at least 30 minutes...



Then dice up some potatoes and toss those in and bring it back up to a boil. 


Then cook at low to medium heat until the potatoes are soft (about another 20 minutes or so), then make some breadsticks or whatever you want with it and serve very hot....


It’s sooooooooo yummy and is great comfort food during a never-ending winter.



Friday, May 2, 2014

Liver and Onions...How To Cook Them Well

Hi...Matt-Man here to tell you all how to make the most delicious dinner in the world...

And what you ask, does that consist of?

LIVER!!

Yep...there are a lot of you liver haters out there, and well, I say to myself...

You hate the government; you hate Donald Sterling; you hate yourself for not hating things in this world that you should, so...

YOU HATE LIVER!!

Actually...Liver is pretty damn tasty if you make it right.

First of all...Get some beef liver or better yet, veal liver, and soak it in milk overnight...


Next...Fry up some onion and mushrooms...


And then...

Let er' rip by throwing the organ meat of the sacred cow into a searing hot pan with the 'shrooms and onions...Make it scream for redemption from the Gandhi family...


Bake or deep fry some onion rings, and when it's all over?  It looks like this...


I'm not feelin' the love, because as I know most of you "normal" people do not like liver, however...I do, and there are a handful of us liver lover out there, so don't judge.

And to you liver lovers out there, I ask...I have more than enough for two, so c'mon...stop on by, and sample my liver.  You'll be glad that you did.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man


Thursday, March 13, 2014

Mr. Sandman Is A Spiteful Agent Provacateur

Cheers and a Happy one full week of Lent has passed us by already, to ya.

For those who follow the IWS Radio website and radio show, you are aware that for Lent this year, I have given up the eating of bread and pasta.

44 Days…No bread…No pasta.

Yesterday marked the end of week one of doing such.  The first couple of days were easy. I was excited to be exerting some rarely used self-discipline, and it was a fresh change in my eating habits.

During the days, I have up to this point, been in full control of my willpower with little discomfort, however…

The last couple of nights have seen my slumbers come alive with things over which my willpower has no control…

Bread-Related Dreams, and let me tell you; they’re neither helpful nor pretty.

For instance…

I had a dream that I am walking down a dirty, urban alley in God knows what city, and I am approached by a nefarious looking man wearing a trench coat, and he says to me…

“Hey…My name is Reuben, and I having something you want, something you need.”  To which I respond…

“Really?  What is that?”  And then…

He flashes open his trench coat, and on one side dangle slices of corned beef, Swiss cheese, and dressing, and on the other side, sauerkraut, corned beef and dark rye bread.  Bastard.

And then another dream follows.  I am sitting in a nightclub by myself and to the mic walks IWS Radio’s very own up and coming comic, Phil Diller.  The spotlight hits him; he goes into his routine and the following transpires…

Phil:  Knock Knock
Me:  Who’s there?
Phil:  Mac
Me:  Mac who?
Phil:  Mac Aroni.  Ha.  Hi Muh Lime Uh!!

Phil:  Hey Matt-Man?  What do you get when you put a likeable apparition into a toaster?
Me:  I have no idea.
Phil:  Casper the Friendly Toast!!  Ha.  Hi Muh Lime Uh!!

Oh…Dear…God…

Oh the dreams don’t die there folks…There’s more.

I was stripped naked and tied to a hemlock tree by Sarah Palin while her daughter threw Cheddar Bay Biscuits at me.  I kid you not!!

I dreamed I was riding through way ancient downtown Rome in a foot powered Paleolithic car driven by a caveman named Frederico Flinstonia, and all four tires were made of pizza.  It’s true!!

But?

I think the most disturbing bread-related dream I have had, occurred early Wednesday morning as I was beginning to awake.

I was on Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. There was no mechanical failure. There was no hijacking.  There was no terrorism.  We made it to our destination safely and without incident.

As we exited the plane, all but I, were thrilled to disembark and enjoy the stay on the vacation spot that all but me had had longed to visit. That destination, of which I speak?

The Sandwich Islands.

Mr. Sandman is indeed a cruel and unrelenting bastard, because even if I am in paradise...even Hawaii, but without bread?  Hawaii can suck it.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattmaniws
My Facebook Page 

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Matt Said, Jay Said...9373277200

Matt farts, Jay belches, you admire their manliness…

Matt:  Hello?  Hello?  Lady of the house speaking.
Jay:  Lady of the house?  Dude you need to man up.
Matt:  Dude, I was being funny.
Jay:  Well there’s funny, and then there is effeminate-ancy.
Matt:  Is that a word?
Jay:  Well, it is now, because it’s on the internet.
Matt:  Good point.

Jay:  How was your New Year’s Eve?
Matt:  Uneventful but pleasant.  Schmoop wore tight fittin’ booty shorts.
Jay:  That’s HOT.  How come?
Matt:  I asked her to.
Jay:  Oh wow.  That’s skill right there.
Matt:  Word…How was yours?
Jay:  Just dandy.  Making the New Year cheese ball for today as we welcome in 2014.
Matt:  Making a cheese ball?  And you call me effeminate?
Jay:  Listen…I am a man who can make cheese balls AND cook.  Chicks dig that.
Matt:  By God they do…y’know…you and I have developed are manly skills to the nth degree.

Jay:  Oh I know.  We are witty and sensitive.
Matt:  We can cook and are runway fashion plates.
Jay:  We are handy around the house and know how to feminize the ladies.
Matt:  We offer to get our napkins after they forget to bring one when they bring us our sandwich.
Jay:  Damn dude…When I think about it?  We have a lot of knowledge to offer to men everywhere.
Matt:  And it would be rude of us to keep it to ourselves.
Jay:  It would be.

Matt:  Alright then…Sunday we should do a Man’s Survival Guide type show on IWS Radio.
Jay:  Hell yeah.  If we don’t impart our tips on how to become a valued and lusted after man, we are sinning.
Matt:  I don’t want to sin.
Jay:  Me neither.  Sinning is…well, a sin.
Matt:  Well said.
Jay:  Thank You.

Matt:  So?  This Sunday from 8-10 PM ET on the IWS Radio Show we will help every guy in the universe.
Jay:  Damn straight.  Teach guys how to cook, dress, build a career.
Matt:  Find that special lady and leave her wanting more every time.
Jay:  I bet Rev. Moneymaker and Stubby Stonehenge could help with some insightful words.
Matt:  As could Bobby Kraft and Barry Resnick.

Jay:  This is going to be huge, because men everywhere will call-in for our advice.
Matt:  If they don’t, they aren’t real men.
Jay:  Damn straight.  That would make them pussies and won’t be getting any of what they are.
Matt:  You speak the truth.  Off to make a baloney sandwich and look at Scar-Jo pics Jayman.
Jay:  Okay.  Ima gonna finish the cheese ball and see if Alyssa Milano will retweet me again.
Matt and Jay:  See ya Sunday on the Radio!!

To listen LIVE to IWS Radio’s, The Man’s Survival Guide to 2014 Sunday from 8-10 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio click HERE!!
.  

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Job Training Partnership Act

Cheeeeeeeeeeers and Happy Tuesday to you all!!

I know that there are many of you out there who have recently been laid-off, let go, and/or otherwise downsized from your jobs as we enter this festive time of year, and to you all, I say God Bless, and I hope you still have some semblance of a happy holiday season, however…

I can neither faintly nor remotely begin to describe the sadness of your holiday-time layoff, but I can describe the layoff that is affecting me.

And that layoff involves my BFF/OSP, Schmoop who was recently callously and hurtfully terminated just last week.

Her layoff burns me to the core as I know how sensitive she is.  I try not to cry, but I witnessed her giving of herself for nearly thirteen years as office manager to the company for which she worked, and I know how devastated she is.

Sure…I could temporarily cajole my darling Schmoop with a peck on the cheek, an occasional atta boy, and words of, “It’ll be alright.”

But…

If I do truly love her, the best way to help her is to get her post-partum layoff mind off of the, “stinkin’ thinkin’” and put her to work…allow her to develop new job skills, and…give her a sense of self-worth.

So…I figure I could set some daily chores for her as she begins her journey toward re-employment, all the while helping her to develop new skills.

Painting is a good profession and one that will always have a market. I noticed recently that our bathroom and kitchen could use a fresh coat of paint.  Schmoop could develop scraping off the old paint and applying the new paint skills by scraping off the walls and stroking up a fresh, friendly coat of paint upon the walls of both rooms.

Being a good cook is also a well paid trade that will always be in demand.  Perhaps Schmoop could learn not to just re-heat things, but delve deeper into honing her nascent culinary skills, by cooking a handmade and homemade breakfast, lunch, and dinner for me every damn day.  After all, repetition is a good teacher!!

Schmoop does have a nice voice.  She could always become a stay-at-home phone sex operator.  We had a former phone sex line chick on our radio show two weeks ago, and she was telling stories of receiving blank checks from her clientele.

Which leads me to another line of work Schmoop could look into…

Philanthropist.

When and if Schmoop received blank checks from her potential and aforementioned phone sex customers, she could then hand the checks over to me knowing full well that it is better to give than receive.

I could then use that money to invest in my our future leaving Schmoop time to no longer worry about money, and instead focus on honing her skills as a Geisha Girl, a massage therapist, and naked vacuuming. And I?

I would be her helpful and dutiful test case the entire time, offering encouragement, compassion, and critical suggestions on how to become better at all of those things.

So there you go…

While it is through the hurt on Schmoop’s behalf that I type this jobs training program, I suffer through it, because I love her so damn much and long for her to be the best Schmoop that she can be.

The road back to employability won’t be easy for Schmoop, but doggone it…

I’m going to make sure that both of us don’t suffer along the way.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_IWS
My Facebook Page 

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Easy Crockpot Chili Recipe

Cheeeeeeers everybody, and Happy Hump Day.

Y’know?  Now that football season is in full swing and Lady Autumn is here with her cooler temps, many folks will be throwing Saturday and/or Sunday football parties in their homes.

Along with the typical chips, dips, wings, and the like, a great football party can be made even more rollicking with some awesome, crowd pleasing chili.

I plan on making chili in a couple of weeks when I take a Saturday off to enjoy a full day of College Football.  It is an easy, and uber-tasty crock pot chili.

Here’s what Easy Five Bean Crockpot Chili ala Matt-Man entails…


Tomatoes, Tomato Paste, Dark Red Kidney Beans, Northern, Black Beans, Lima Beans, and Light Red Kidney Beans...If you’d like, which I do from time to time is replace the one of the kidney beans with butter beans.  But anyhoo…


Not too many spices...Chili Powder, Paprika, Oregano, Garlic, and a secret one which is not shown that replaces Cumin...Liquid Smoke.  Liquid Smoke makes everything better.  A few tablespoons of that into the mix, and bar the door Katy, it’s a TOUCHDOWN!!


These are da bomb!! Frozen and already diced onions and bell peppers. Fresh may be best, but too many of us end up wasting them.  So, this an inexpensive and practical way to go.


The MEAT!! Two pounds of ground beef, and one pound of sausage which I will slightly brown off with Worcestershire Sauce prior to crocking it. I also add real bacon pieces.

I would use REAL bacon, but I cannot bring myself to use sliced bacon for this. Sliced bacon stands on its own, and should be consumed that way!!


The cookery...or, is that, crockery? Anyhoo. This is my newest crockpot. Isn't she sexy and voluptuous?

I call her, Samantha. Samantha came with a 2, 4, and 6 quart bowl. I always use the 4 quart bowl.  The 2 is too small, and the 6 quart bowl, I only use when cooking up meth, so it may have toxic residue in it.

There you have it. After six to eight hours of simmering, Samantha will be ready to yield her juicy, meaty, and delicious wares.

A great accompaniment with the chili is Cheesy Onion Cornbread


Just prepare a box of any inexpensive cornbread mix per instructions, but add some of the frozen onions and bell pepper, along with shredded cheese of your choice and voila!!  Rustic goodness in its most delicious form…

Your friends, fans, and fellow football watchers will give you the game ball with two thumbs up.


Five Bean Crockpot Chili and Cheesy Onion Cornbread…Easy and delicious, just like me.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattmaniws
My Facebook Page 

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Emeril and Jay's Chicken White Bean Sausage Rice Stew


Hola and welcome to Chez Jay’s! On tonight’s menu is my version of Emeril’s Chicken, White Bean, Sausage and Rice Stew.


The first thing to do is soak the white beans for at least three hours. The longer the better though so I pour them in the pan to soak right before bed and let them soak overnight.


When it comes time to make the stew, pour just a bit of Olive Oil in the bottom of a big pot that’s been heated up on medium. Then put our four skin-on, bone-in chicken breasts seasoned with a little Cavenders (or Emeril’s Essence if you prefer) and maybe a little salt and ground pepper to taste in the hot pan skin side down. They cook for about 5 minutes or until they’re brown. Then turn them over and cook the other side also until brown.



Then remove the chicken and put about one pound sliced smoked sausage (or Andouille if you prefer) in and cook it until it’s well caramelized. Then throw in the chopped onion, green pepper and celery and let them cook until soft. Then some minced or chopped garlic. Only let the garlic cook for about 30 seconds or so cause you don’t want it to burn.


Now pour 64 ounces of chicken broth, the beans (drained), some thyme and a bay leaf in there and bring to a boil and then reduce the heat to a simmer or small boil and cook for ONE HOUR.

Now put the chicken back into the pot with all the ingredients in there getin’ happy! You can toss in a little more salt and pepper or more Essence if you use that or even Cavenders here if you want.


Cook for another hour then make sure the chicken is cooked all the way through and the beans are soft and tender. (If the beans are not soft, cook a little longer, but since you DID remember to soak the beans overnight that shouldn’t be problem, right?)

When the stew is done make some rice. I just use the minute rice, but you can make whatever you like.

Then serve the chicken and stew over rice and ... BAM! You have my version of Emeril’s Chicken, White Bean, Sausage and Rice Stew!


If you want, you can always pull all the cooked chicken breast meat off the bone and kind of shred it up and throw it back into the pot. Then toss some rice in there instead of cooking it separately. Maybe ½ cup? 1 cup? Not too much or it will soak up all your liquid! Then you could serve it in bowls like a real stew. Just play around with it and be creative!



Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Kentucky Derby, Cinco de Mayo, and Shenanigans

Cheeeeeeers and Happy Hump Day folks...

Y'know?  Yesterday Jayman railed against the sport that is horse racing, and tomorrow?  Our special blog guest Justin Henry will offer the opposite view.

In the meantime...

I am the Matt-Man, and I don't care either way; I just want to make your Kentucky Derby and Cinco de Mayo weekend well worth while...

Y'know?  The Kentucky Derby and Cinco de Mayo mean one thing...Party Time!!

And I am here to offer up to you some party faves...

Well, as it is not only Derby weekend, but Cinco de Mayo as well, let us blend a very fine food course along the many furlongs of life...

First take some biscuits and heavily butter them...


Add some beans, curn, tomatoes, and taco seasoning to the skillet...


Watch it cook, marinate, and otherwise juice out...



and then...brown the sausage...



Are ya feeling me yet?


And then throw it all together, cook it, and say, "Happy Cinco de Mayo!!"


Your guests will give you dos thumbs up!!



You can eat this treat while rooting on your favorite horse during the Kentucky Derby, in fact...the meat in the meal may be your fave Kentucky Derby entry!!  Score!!

Well there ya go...Some helpful culinary advice from IWS Radio.

Or something.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws

Monday, July 16, 2012

IWS Welcomes Nicole Russin AKA: Richarde

Holaaaaa and Cheers!

IWS World Media in association with IWS productions would like to welcome Nicole Russin to the I’m With Stupid podcast this Wednesday, July 18, 2012! Ms. Russin AKA: The Legendary Richárde, a bestselling cookbook author, musician, journalist, model and Renaissance woman. Her latest cookbook, “Ostentatious Cupcakes” is racing up the Amazon charts and is full of creative and innovative ways to make the all-American favorite. Her first cookbook, published in December 2010, “The Non-Diet Real Cookbook: Easy Recipes to Stay Skinny Eating Anything You Want and Learn How to Cook!” was based on a mixture of recipes from abroad, healthy food, and the Midwest’s classic roots: soul food, German cooking, and Irish cuisine blended together

Nicole began her journalism career at the age of 13 when she began hosting a video series for PBS titled Illinois Stories which was syndicated in Illinois, Missouri and Iowa. In addition to local and state politicians, Ms. Russin even snagged a Q&A with soon to be presidential candidate John Kerry. Nicole continues to work on her journalism career to this day having interviewed people from the political, business, sports and entertainment worlds.

Nicole graduated from the University of Texas at the age of 19. After graduation she decided to compete in the Miss Texas pageant even though she had never participated in any beauty pageants while growing up. The end result was a fun and hugely popular guest blog on Huffington Post which became one of the top five most popular reads on the site in 2009.

By the age of 21 Nicole was in NYC looking for journalism work. At the same time she decided to seek out modeling work and it didn’t take long to land some opportunities with a number of different agencies. She mostly worked in the beauty/hair/makeup categories, but as with everything else in her life, she doesn’t want to just settle for that. Being a very ambitious person, Nicole is working hard to make the jump to the couture lines WHILE continuing to purse professional writing and journalism gigs.

In her spare time, Russin records songs in every genre under the sun. An opera lover, Russin likes performing each genre differently down to pronunciation “because every musical style should have its own performance method and be felt like an opera performance.” She sings out, talk sings, gets whispery, shouts, performs overdramatically, and sings emotionlessly.  (She does know how to sound traditionally good when necessary also.) Russin taught herself how to compose sheet music while bored in some seventh grade class she can’t remember, forced herself to learn music production on her home computers, and used fellow students as recording test subjects as she discovered her inner Max Martin. In June 2010, she released an art pop double album called Sex Appeal, Love, Confessions Parts 1 & 2 with its additional material album My Other Half, put out a few corresponding psychedelic 60′s/70‘s singles, got together with Russian tennis star and California transplant homegrown DJ Dmitry Tursunov for a Studio 54 meets modern disco sound on The Dmitry Tursunov Experience EP, and will soon release a 1980′s style follow-up album.

So, as you can see Nicole is a busy woman with a lot of interests and talents. This is going to be an awesome show! Be sure to join us on I'm With Stupid Wednesday, July 18, 2012 for all the fun and excitement!

--

In other news Matt-Man and Jayman overcame their brutal hangovers to bring everyone “The Hangover Show” on I’m With Stupid on Sunday. We talked hangover prevention and cures and then got a great call from our HAWT friend Meredith! So, totally check it out!


Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Thursday, June 21, 2012

The Food Network...A Rebuttal by Carrie Welch

Dear Mr. Jason Adams,

It has come to my attention via the slow roasted goodness of the internet that you may or may not be happy with our buffet of more than flavorful shows.

I received a tasty e-mail yesterday which provided my palette with a link to your deliciously funny and obviously tongue-in-sushi on the cheek take on the Food Network, delightfully titled, The Food Network Sucks.

Oh sure you call us pretentious where food is concerned but we always have an appetite for a laugh or two as when Alton Brown referred to a Cornish game hen as a, “chicken who obviously smoked at a young age…”

Ha!!  So funny.  Oh that Alton!!

Alton can bull’s-eye a punchline just as adroitly as he can stuff a bird with a mixture of winter wheat, sorghum sugar, and his very own, Alton Sauce de la Ego which you can purchase online for $19.95 per dram. He is that good.

I could tell through the less-than-seasoned layers of your post, that you harbor some ill-will toward us.

Perhaps it’s because you are an amateur cook, and don’t recognize that we are trying to not only inform less than professional cooks as to how to make a good meal, but want to help you to realize that what the Food Network recognizes as good food, is what you should be eating.

And the recipes of what you should be eating are not only available on our daily 24/7cable shows, but available on CD-ROM and book form at our Food Network site, which you can access by clicking, The Food Network.

We can always quibble as to the likeability of Guy Fieri…the hotness of Giada de Laurentiis, or the annoyance level of one fat ass, Rachel Ray.

What is not open for debate is the culinary pleasure, the palatability of our shows, and the amount of quality entertainment at a fair price that we to offer you, the cable TV consumer.

Jason, we respect your comments and will indeed set up focus groups in order to determine the level of agreement of your remarks amongst our general viewers, and determine the efficacy of your rantings may or may not have amongst our primary 30-50 year old, upscale demographic, but we will do it mainly because…

To make sure you are not batshit crazy, giving us the business, and because we here at the Food Network figure that 30 Minute Meals are what people like…Triple D with Guy is a guilty pleasure if only for the food, and Giada’s tits are not only watchable, but in keeping with our network theme, edible as well, and we think we have a successful formula, yet always looking to improve as well….we will take a second look at your concerns.

We appreciate you taking the time to address our programming scheduling and will be in touch with your law firm you soon.

Sincerely,
Carrie Welch
VP of Public Relations of the Television Food Network

*****************************************************

Nice to get Carrie’s letter and also…

Yesterday Jayman and Matt-Man made people smile and brightened the internet airwaves as they had another stellar IWS Radio Show on Blog Talk Radio.  If you missed them making fun of Mitt Romney and Adam Corolla, you can catch it all right here:


Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

neshobadude@yahoo.com

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The Food Network Sucks


Hola foodies and cooks! Hey! Let me ask you guys a question. Is it just me, or does Food Network fucking suck? I swear FN used to be so damn cool, but now? I can barely stand to watch any of it. Yes, even Giada de Laurentiis. Hell, especially Giada. Like I fucking care about her precious over-privileged spoiled little snowflake’s love of chocolate and Russian caviar. Big fucking deal.

I really never thought I would come to this point in my life where I hated Food Network so much. Oh sure, I probably should have known it would happen. Especially after the way HGTV has disappointed me over the last few years. I know nothing ever stays the same, but why change it to something so shitty?

Just as HGTV went away from lots of great home improvement and gardening shows to stupid high end home updates and non-stop real estate glorification crap, Food Network has gone from instructional cooking shows with smart, talented hosts to preparing fancy, expensive meals with fabulous celebrity chefs and their super rich friends. And if they aren’t doing that on FN, they’re celebrating eating 17 lb hamburgers or hanging out with the regular folk at some dive with the biggest fucking douchebag in the world Guy Fieri.

Remember the good old days? You know, back when you could turn on and Sara Moulton would be making a good, affordable meal and actually showing and telling you how it was made? Or Mario would be explaining how to make good Italian food? Or Emeril would be reminding you that there’s no reason to be afraid of cooking and that it isn’t rocket science? Now, all of their hosts are pretending that cooking is almost as difficult as brain surgery and treating chefs as if they actually were brain surgeons.

AND THE SALT! Oh sweet Jesus the salt! Every single show I watch, I find myself screaming at the TV to back off the salt. Hosts like CHEF Anne Burrell will say things like “we have to salt each step in the process.” Well, maybe so, but you don’t have drain the Great Salt Lake to get enough salt to do it with.

How ‘bout ruining a good steak? They can all do it. Take a really great piece of meat and smother it with blue cheese so you won’t be able to taste the meat anymore. What’s the point of that? Why do they always insist on covering up the taste of the food they’re preparing? Same goes for pasta. We all love cheese, but why pile up the asiago or parmesan so high? The asiago is spicy and parmesan is salty! And worst of all, you don’t ALWAYS have to substitute ground turkey for ground beef.

Hell, they can’t even spare the desserts. They just have to add things like Cayenne Pepper to chocolate. Give it a fucking rest! Everything doesn’t have to be gourmet.  Everything doesn’t have to be full of spices and herbs. Sometimes it’s best to just let the food speak for itself.

And a couple of other things that really bug me too. When you grab a spoon and stir the sauces and then taste it, don’t STICK THE GODDAMN SPOON BACK INTO THE SAUCE! You might as well just stick your finger in it you disgusting freak. And, if you don’t mind, when you’re handling poultry and seafood, doing things like cutting it up, fileting or maybe removing that digestive tract from shrimp, wear some food safe gloves. It grosses me out.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS 



Be sure to check out the I’m With Stupid podcast! The #1 Comedy show on Blog Talk Radio!



Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio


Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Great Preheating Experiment


Hola Bitches! Jayman Here!

So, over the last year you guys have all sat back and watched in awe as Matt-Man and I have built an online media empire. We started with the critically acclaimed and highly rated podcast “I’m With Stupid.” We also added our Twitter Accounts to the IWS media world and then set up an official IWS Tumblr. And, finally we created this wildly popular blog.

With all the success we’ve had, it would appear to the outside world and our adoring fans that Matt-Man and I work together like a well-oiled machine. Most people probably think that it’s all fun and games between us and our agreeable nature means that there are no rifts or tension between us as we go through our daily decisions as to who posts when and what topics to discuss and all the other very hard work that goes into creating a media empire with a vast and diverse worldwide audience.

And for the most part that’s true. I’d say that 98.34% of the time, Matt-Man and I agree on things. But, there are a couple of issues that we just can’t seem to see eye-to-eye on and while they seem minor, from time to time they bubble up to the surface and cause a bit of a problem. One such issue has finally come to head and I have decided to do something to end this once and for all.

Tonight, I agreed to actually preheat my oven before cooking my frozen DiGiorno’s Pepperoni Pizza and Breadsticks combination.

You see, Matt-Man holds fast and true to the very old-fashioned belief from days of yore that you MUST preheat your oven before cooking something. While I agree that when baking things like cakes, cookies and breads preheating is necessary, for most foods like chicken, roasts, pizza and potatoes it is not only not necessary, but a waste of time. However, I agreed to try it out tonight and then report back to the masses as to how well it worked out for me.

6:00 pm: Okay, instructions say oven at 400̊ F and bake for 18 minutes. So, I’ll turn the oven on and wait for the little light to go out and let me know the oven is preheated.  

6:02 pm: *Checks Oven* *Light is still on* I’M SOOOOO BORED AND TIRED OF WAITING!

6:03 pm: *Light is still on* OH COME ON!! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

6:04 pm: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! IT WOULD BE HALF DONE ALREADY! *goes back to watching football*

6:30 pm: “Oh shit! The oven is on!” *runs into the kitchen*

6:32 pm: *FINALLY puts pizza in oven*

6:50 pm: *takes perfectly cooked pizza and breadsticks from oven*

Okay, so the pizza was freaking delicious. And, preheating the oven does seem to have helped make sure it cooked evenly and all that jazz. But, it added a full 30 minutes extra time to preparing dinner. So, while preheating the oven might result in a slightly better cooked product, it ads so much time to the process that it’s probably not worth it.

Sorry Matt-Man, I have to declare victory on this one.