Matt Said, Jay Said...9373277200

Matt farts, Jay belches, you admire their manliness…

Matt:  Hello?  Hello?  Lady of the house speaking.
Jay:  Lady of the house?  Dude you need to man up.
Matt:  Dude, I was being funny.
Jay:  Well there’s funny, and then there is effeminate-ancy.
Matt:  Is that a word?
Jay:  Well, it is now, because it’s on the internet.
Matt:  Good point.

Jay:  How was your New Year’s Eve?
Matt:  Uneventful but pleasant.  Schmoop wore tight fittin’ booty shorts.
Jay:  That’s HOT.  How come?
Matt:  I asked her to.
Jay:  Oh wow.  That’s skill right there.
Matt:  Word…How was yours?
Jay:  Just dandy.  Making the New Year cheese ball for today as we welcome in 2014.
Matt:  Making a cheese ball?  And you call me effeminate?
Jay:  Listen…I am a man who can make cheese balls AND cook.  Chicks dig that.
Matt:  By God they do…y’know…you and I have developed are manly skills to the nth degree.

Jay:  Oh I know.  We are witty and sensitive.
Matt:  We can cook and are runway fashion plates.
Jay:  We are handy around the house and know how to feminize the ladies.
Matt:  We offer to get our napkins after they forget to bring one when they bring us our sandwich.
Jay:  Damn dude…When I think about it?  We have a lot of knowledge to offer to men everywhere.
Matt:  And it would be rude of us to keep it to ourselves.
Jay:  It would be.

Matt:  Alright then…Sunday we should do a Man’s Survival Guide type show on IWS Radio.
Jay:  Hell yeah.  If we don’t impart our tips on how to become a valued and lusted after man, we are sinning.
Matt:  I don’t want to sin.
Jay:  Me neither.  Sinning is…well, a sin.
Matt:  Well said.
Jay:  Thank You.

Matt:  So?  This Sunday from 8-10 PM ET on the IWS Radio Show we will help every guy in the universe.
Jay:  Damn straight.  Teach guys how to cook, dress, build a career.
Matt:  Find that special lady and leave her wanting more every time.
Jay:  I bet Rev. Moneymaker and Stubby Stonehenge could help with some insightful words.
Matt:  As could Bobby Kraft and Barry Resnick.

Jay:  This is going to be huge, because men everywhere will call-in for our advice.
Matt:  If they don’t, they aren’t real men.
Jay:  Damn straight.  That would make them pussies and won’t be getting any of what they are.
Matt:  You speak the truth.  Off to make a baloney sandwich and look at Scar-Jo pics Jayman.
Jay:  Okay.  Ima gonna finish the cheese ball and see if Alyssa Milano will retweet me again.
Matt and Jay:  See ya Sunday on the Radio!!

To listen LIVE to IWS Radio’s, The Man’s Survival Guide to 2014 Sunday from 8-10 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio click HERE!!
.  

Let's Get Random Y'all

Hola y’all! I don’t have shit for ya so it’s time for some random thoughts…

When are acid washed jeans gonna come back into style? I always loved those. What about parachute pants? Damn, my ass looked fine in those babies in ninth grade.

I’ve just about had enough of this temperatures in the mid-90’s every day crap. I should have a talk with Mother Nature and ask her why she’s fuckin’ with us like this. She’s probably just doing it to amuse herself. I can respect that.

Hold on. I’m going to get a sugar free Fudgesicle. Healthy ice cream!

I just watched the first half of the Eagles/Redskins Monday Night Football game. The Skins are trash. Holy crap they look as if they never had a preseason at all. Also, there’s an outside chance that Robert W. Griffin III isn’t really that good. At the very least he appears to be a paper tiger. Hit him a couple of times and you take the fight out of him. Time will tell I guess.

I’m so fucking tired of all the Syria talk. I was opposed to it at first, then listening to Obama and Kerry last week I came around to the idea, but then Pope Francis talked me out of it over the weekend on Twitter. Just kidding! I’ve been opposed to it all along.

            1. It won’t make a difference in terms of getting rid of Assad.

            2. The “mission” will slowly expand like it always does.

            3. I simply don’t have any faith in the Obama/Kerry/Hagel team.

RG3 just threw another interception. I’m telling ya, he might secretly suck.

I feel bad for Lady Ga Ga. She’s running around stark ass naked and nobody is even noticing her because of Miley’s shenanigans. Poor girl. I guess her only option is to have a three way with a dude and another chick on stage and maybe THEN she can get a little attention.

I’m down to only one Pepsi a day and it’s going great. I have one late afternoon while watching the Pioneer Woman on Food Network and that’s it. After dinner I have a glass of sugar free lemon ice tea which is downright delicious.

You may have noticed I’m trying to cut back my sugar consumption dramatically. It’s not easy but I’m working on it. My next target is to have something for breakfast better for me than Frosted Flakes.

I mentioned to someone on Twitter what a funny (“funny” = “stupid”) name Sloan Sabbith (Olivia Munn on the Newsroom) is, but I forgot how angry liberals get if you make fun of characters on their favorite liberal shows. Gotta always keep that in mind y’all.

Happy 1093^rd birthday Louie XIV!

I was thinking of previewing the 2013 fall television schedule but it looks like a big bowl of stupid.

RG3 just threw a second third TD pass of the second half. I take it all back. He’s pretty good.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
Facebook
@Jayman_IWS

Babe of the Week: Catholic Hotties

In honor of Pope Bennie and Jets stepping down this week, IWS is proud to bring you Catholic Hotties as our Babe(s) of the Week ...

1. Alyssa Milano

2. Mandy Moore

3. Eva Longoria

4. Neve Campbell

5. And of course, no list of Catholic Hotties would be complete without the best friend poverty ever had and the woman who made sure that women remained second-class citizens and poor people suffered needlessly while she flew in corporate jets to private hospitals in California when she was sick .... Mother Teresa!

And, while you're here you should check out "Crossing the Line" show from last night on I'm With Stupid. We took calls from Cowpote and Justin while talking about whether or not any topic or any group of people are off limits when it comes to joke telling. Definitely check it out.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Matt Said, Jay Said XLVII

Matt talksecundum…Jay talksecundum…You, listencadabra.

Matt:  Howdy Mr. Man.

Jay:  What’s going on?
Matt:  Schmoop just got done watching the finale of Charmed.  She had never seen the end the first go ‘round.
Jay:  Charmed, eh?  I’d like to charm Alyssa Milano, mmmmmmm.
Matt:  I’m more of a Holly Marie-Combs kinda guy.
Jay:  Pussy.

Matt:  So…Oh shit…The funniest thing just happened.
Jay:  What?  Mitt Romney actually took an unwavering position on something?
Matt:  Ha. No.  Because Schmoop was watching Chramed, I went across the street to take pictures of the weeds growing at the abandoned hospital.
Jay:  Ha!!  That is wacky!!  Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
Matt:  Shuddup…There’s this red-headed, Glock carrying Security chick standing guard, and she told me to quit taking pictures.
Jay:  Was she hot?
Matt:  No, she’s like 58, smokes Lucky Strikes, and may or may not have been born in Bulgaria.

Jay:  Nope…that’s not hot.
Matt:  Anyhoo, she said, “I don’t like you taking pictures.  Taking pictures could get you shot.”
Jay:  Ha…No shit, really?
Matt:  Ha…Yes!!
Jay:  We should have her on the show.
Matt:  IKR?  But anyway after a brief exchange and a few more pictures, I said to her, “Go to Hell, asshole.”
Jay:  Incredible, and this all happened because you didn’t want to watch Charmed with Schmoop?
Matt:  Yep…Serendipity Jayman…serendipity.

Jay:  You need to write about this for Monday’s post.
Matt:  Oh I will, and because of the power of IWS, those weeds will be gotten rid of.
Jay:  We do nothing but good.
Matt:  Damn straight.
Jay:  Aight…I guess I’ll talk to you later on Twitter.
Matt:  Dam right you will…Have a good one Jayman.
Jay:  You too…bye.

(moments later the phone rings)

Matt:  Yo Dawg!!

Jay:  We forgot to talk about what we are going to talk about on Sunday’s show.
Matt:  Oh shit…we did, didn’t we?
Jay:  How about we do a weather show and talk about the weather; we always talk about it when we open any show anyway.
Matt:  Good idea.
Jay:  I think we are ready.
Matt:  I believe you are right.
Jay and Matt:  The Weather Show This Sunday!!
Jay:  Later.
Matt: Later.

So there you have it this Sunday on IWS Jayman and I will be talking weather as only we can, which means of course, we will make it dirty.

You can join us live Sunday at Noon ET on Blog Talk Radio, for the IWS Is It Hot Enough for Ya radio installment by clicking HERE.

Cheers!!

IWS Babe of the Week: Pamela Anderson and Alyssa Milano Have Never Been More Timely

Well, I hope that you all realized that today marks the beginning of Daylight Saving Time, made "your leap", and set your cocks ahead one hour.

And in case you didn't, and need a jolt to your aging and oblivious minds, here are a couple of hot babes to remind you to do so...

Pamela Anderson says:

"Even though I am typically naked, underweight, and have a sore back, I always muster up the strength to give my clocks an, "ahead" job."

And we also have one Alyssa Milano who fills her role as a public Daylight Saving Time servant by saying:

"While no one is my boss, I am always charmed by hot men, who remember to spring forward when Daylight Saving Time comes around."

Both of these chicks hope you have made the time transition so you don't miss today's, I'm With Stupid Radio Show.

Jayman and Matt-Man go live at High Noon EDT, and they are just gonna lay back and enjoy the unusually warm weather by having an on air picnic.

And who else will be at their live, on air picnic?

This babe...

And of course,  this one...

Oh yeah...Join them at Noon EDT, right HERE, as we sit back, relax, enjoy eating fried chicken, and wail in the glory of the sun not setting until 8 o'clock.

Cheers!!