The List of Lists Because Everybody Loves Lists

Holaaaaaaaaa y’all! Well, it’s my turn to write again for IWS Radio, but I really have nothing at all to write about. I could do another stream of consciousness post, but too much of a good thing is still too much. Or something like that. So, instead I will do a list. The internet loves lists. Hell, someday I might do a list of things I will do lists about in the future. Wait, that’s a great idea! I think I’ll do that right now!

But first, you should totally check out the rockin’ cover Aunt Jackie’s of the ZZ-Top classic “Jesus Just Left Chicago” did for IWS Radio!

A list of lists I will blog in the future.

01. My Favorite Arkansans

02. My favorite Crackers  

03. My Favorite Americans

04. My Favorite Non-Americans

05. My Favorite NBA Players

06. My Favorite Sports Broadcasters

07. My Favorite Comedians

08. My Favorite Vacation Spots

09. My Favorite Alcoholic Beverages

10. My Favorite Babes (After Lent, of course)

11. My Favorite Songs

12. My Favorite Musicals (Stage and Screen)

13. My Favorite Empires

14. My Favorite Movies

15. My Favorite TV Shows

16. My Favorite Jokes

17. My Favorite Personal Memories

18. My Favorite Magazines

19. My Favorite Political Commentators

20. My Favorite Arkansas Razorbacks Athletes

21. My Favorite Sexual Encounters Ever

22. Things I Would Rather Be Doing Than Blogging

23. People I Would Like to Meet

24. Coolest Cars Ever Built

25. Presidents Ranked From Worst to Best

26. Fifty Reasons Why Lists Rule

27. Fifty Reasons Why Lists Suck

28. Diseases I Would Never Want to Have

29. 29 Reasons Why Odd Numbered Lists Annoy People  

30. The Best “Non-Mainstream” Sports That Should Be

31. Most Overrated Movies/Songs/TV Shows/Babes of All Time

32. 100 Crappiest Ways to Die

33. 50 People I Would Totally Stalk if I Could

34. 50 Babes You Might be Surprised to Find I Masturbated To

35. Why You Stopped Reading This Long Ago

36. Why Lists shouldn’t be Over 25 Items Long

37. 100 Greatest Threats to America and Freedom

38. 50 Life Pro Tips

39. All 157 Dog Breeds Ranked From Worst to Best

Shoot, that was easy. I should totally do lists more often.

Jayman3768@gmail.com
My Facebook
@Jayman_IWS

Gov. John Kasich Says, "Arkansas Sucks!!"

My fellow Americans, and especially my fellow Ohioans…

I come to you today on the webpage of IWS Radio in order to set the record straight about the Great State of Ohio after she and her citizenry came under a vile and vicious verbal attack yesterday by the Arkansas half of the IWS Radio tandem, Jayman.

Hi.  John Kasich, Governor of the Great State of Ohio here, but today you can call me…

Johnny Buckeye, the Stand-Up Comedian and today I am executive ordering a little rebuttal type ribbing toward those inbreds my friends down in Arkansas.

Now Jayman wants to get rid of Ohio by giving it to Canada.  He was nice enough to say that Ohioans who wanted remain part of the U.S., could move to Morgantown, WV.  I thought to myself…Why did he pick Morgantown, WV.?  And then it hit me!!

Morgantown is home to the University of West Virginia which just like Fayetteville, AR., houses one of the crappiest of college football programs in the country.  Jayman was simply going with what he is familiar with. O-Hiiiiii-Oh!!

In Columbus?  We have THE Ohio State Buckeyes, a football program that knows how to win!!

Jayman went on by spitting his venom upon the grand and historic Ohio cities of Cleveland and Cincinnati.  He referred to them as ghettos.  Ghettos?  Hell if you want a ghetto move to Arkansas and live halfway between the towns of Pea City and Gassville.  Talk about a filthy stench hole!!  O-Hiiiiii-O!!

I also notice that in Arkansas, they have cities named Stuttgart and Hamburg.  Hmmmmm?  Maybe we should have bombed the Arkansas cities of Stuttgart and Hamburg instead of the ones in Germany during WWII.  O-Hiiiiii-Oh!!

And Jayman lives in Harrison, a city that boasts a population of 12,943.  Ha.  Really?  That’s fewer people than I make in dollars in contributions during nine holes of golf.  O-Hiiiiii-O!!

Hey!!  What do you call a person in Arkansas that speaks perfect English, has perfect manners, and is married to someone to whom they are not related?  A tourist!!  O-Hiiiiii-O!!

On a serious note, however…Y’know?  Jayman’s post yesterday began around the tragic and terrifying kidnapping and ten year imprisonment and enslavement of Amanda Berry and the other two young girls.

Those young girls were forced to be chained against their will, have sex against their will, and sadly in at least one instance, become impregnated against their will by Ariel Castro.  And, as the Governor and Chief Comforter of Ohio, I have to say…

Here in Ohio, we call that a crime beyond all crimes.  In Arkansas?

They call that, one helluva rollicking good Family Reunion!!  O-Hiiiiii-O!!

I also find it funny that Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush 41, and Bush 43 retired to their home states after their Presidencies.  Bill Clinton?  Nope, he moved to New York all the while saying…

“Arkansas is a good place to be FROM!!”  O-Hiiiiii-O!!

But, as I keep this all good-natured, I have to say that I respect Arkansans, or Arkansawyers, or whatever the hell else they call themselves now, because they are part of the fabric that makes these United States of America great.

And seriously?  What would we do if we didn’t have Arkansas as part of our union, and our brotherhood, and our kinship?

Hmmmmm…Ha…We’d skip Wal*Mart and buy factory direct from China.  O-Hiiiiii-O!!

Thanks for your time ladies and gentlemen and remember there are only three things in life that matter…

Trying the veal, tipping your waitress, and passing draconian Right-to-Work legislation.

Peace Out,

Gov. John Kasich (R-OH)

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattmaniws

IWS Babe of the Week: Monica Lewinsky

An awesome chick who once dutifully, and with zeal served within the confines of the Oval Office, is back in the news.

A woman who at one point, would give President Bill Clinton his Presidential Daily "Briefing" like no other, the raven haired, heirloom daughter of King David, Monica Lewinsky...

It is being reported that the curvaceous knish, Monica Lewinsky, has a new book coming out about her affair with President Clinton.  It will allegedly reveal more scantily clad sexual deliciousness than that which is overheard at a run down, west-end, Bagwine laundromat....

However...How can you not take this busty, Hebrew Hottie at her word?  She has suffered more than Job, albeit, much more well-compensated for her suffering than Job was.

Sadly, her beauty suffers, as there are drawbacks to her infamous and scandalous fame, such as being photographed looking like Rosie O'Donnell...

I don't know what more Monica Lewinsky's new book can reveal...I mean...We all knew what drew President Clinton to her...

She sure does have a pretty mouth, and Holy Moses!!  That Hebrew Ho, has gots is going on!!  Oy Vey!!

Annnnnnd...If you want to hear a couple of other pretty mouths today...You can listen to Jay and I on Blog Talk Radio LIVE at Noon ET.

IWS Radio will be live as always and we are talking the Lighter Side of Religion, in fact, you can say that we will be yukking it up with the Lord.

That's LIVE today at Noon ET, and you can catch it all by clicking HERE.

Cheers!!