Matt Said Jay Said 8 28 38 49

Matt: Let’s make this quick.
Jay: Good plan! Those fish sticks seemed …. “off.”
Matt: I didn’t need that shared with me.
Jay: I want to share my life with you.
Matt: That’s sweet, but don’t.
Jay: Hey now! You’ve never hesitated to overshare with me.
Matt: That’s different.
Jay: Oh.
Matt: Good.
Jay: Wait!
Matt: Oh God, here we go.
Jay: How is it different?
Matt: It just is.
Jay: I don’t think that’s a good enough answer.
Matt: I’m known for my oversharing.
Jay: And?
Matt: You’re not.
Jay: So?
Matt: Let’s just both stay in our lane.
Jay: Ohhhhhhh … Okay.

Jay: Oh hey!
Matt: Yes?
Jay: We’re gonna introduce a new segment this week!
Matt: With a new LIVE correspondent.
Jay: Smugly Superior w/ Dana!
Matt: The role she was born to play.
Jay: Hell yeah. Not much of a stretch for her.
Matt: Well, you start with what you know.
Jay: True.
Matt: Is she gonna dis Breaking Bad?
Jay: I’m sure of it.
Matt: Good! I’m sick of hearing about that show.
Jay: You and me both.
Matt: It can’t possibly be THAT good.
Jay: I don’t see how. 

Matt: So what else for Sunday?
Jay: Another new segment. Tribute to the McLaughlin Group
Matt: Ha! I love that crazy old bastard.
Jay: He’s the greatest.
Matt: Oh! It’s “Confucius Day”
Jay: Really? We could work with that!
Matt: Especially when is lesser known brother PROfucius shows up.
Jay: I bet he’s ALMOST as brilliant as Confucius.
Matt: Yeah, ALMOST.
Jay: There’s lots of China stuff we can talk about.
Matt: Definitely.
Jay: What else?
Matt: Two words: Ted. Cruz.
Jay: HA! Is he still talking?
Matt: We’ll check in on Sunday.
Jay: I bet he’s reading off inspirational speeches from movie.
Matt: And maybe some other crazy-ass stuff.
Jay: That’s awesome.
Matt: And Paul Piatt
Jay: And EVEN MORE Drew Peacock
Matt: Schmoop loves him.
Jay: I know she does.
Matt: She just has a funny way of showing it.
Jay: And we’ll throw other stuff in as it comes up.
Matt: We can do it!
Jay: Oh the show title.
Matt: Hmm ….

Jay and Matt: CUSSIN’ THE EGG ROLLS!

Jay: Freaking brilliant.
Matt: Damn we’re good.

That’s “Cussin’ the Egg Rolls” this Sunday at 12 Noon ET on IWS Radio. Be there or something really terrible might happen. I mean, probably not, but why risk it? 

First Annual Babe Draft for Babe of the Week

In honor of this being NFL Draft weekend, the staff at IWS Media decided to hold our own special draft for Babe of the Week. Matt-Man and Jayman will draft their favorite celebrity babes.

The 2012 IWS Babe Draft is underway; Matt-Man is on the clock.

With my first pick, over which I thought LONG and HARD...well...at least hard, I chose a woman whose beauty transcends the space time continuum.  An actress with classic beauty who has appeared in movies such as Lost in Translation, The Avengers, and Iron Man 2...Mizz Scarlett Johannson

With is first pick, Jayman selects: Sofia Vergara! Sofia is best known as one of the stars of ABC’s hit comedy Modern Family, but she has been around for years. She is funny, smart and exotic and much, MUCH hotter today at almost 40 than she was in her 20’s!

Jayman made a great call there, and in order to counter Sofia's hotness, I am going with a babe who is not only hot, but smart as hell as well.  Adding a little color and a whole lot of "Oh Baby" to my selections, I pick MSNBC's own Tamron Hall!!

With his second pick, Jayman selects: Penelope Cruz! Penelope is an Academy Award winning actress who can also sing and dance. She speaks (more or less) five languages, is smart, driven and smoldering hot.

Most people think that I can't make the play for the Latina chick....Ho, ho,ho, and ole my friends.  With my third pick of this smoldering draft, I choose the Colombian babe who is an international music sensation and plays, guitar, harmonica, drums, and has an IQ of 140...Shakira!!

With his third pick, Jayman selects: Rashida Jones! Just because Matt-Man doesn’t know who Rashida is, doesn’t mean she isn’t a star. One of the stars of The Office and Parks and Recreation is the daughter of Quincy Jones and Peggy Liption, so she comes by her combination of beauty and talent honestly.

I didn't know who Rashida Jones was, but oh yeah I do now, and I finish my draft selections with a similar pick.  Few here in the States know who she is, but she is Iranian born model and current Queen of all things Danish, Heidi Zadeh.  I would love to make a humus and havarti sandwich out of her...

With his fourth and final pick, Jayman selects: Jamie Chung! Probably a surprising pick, but Jamie is an up and coming star. She was first introduced to us on MTV’s Real World: San Diego. Since those days Jamie has done several TV shows and movies such as Sucker Punch. She currently has four movies in production and she is every bit as sweet and intelligent (she studied economics at Cal-Riverside) as she is sexy.

And there you have it.  The Official IWS Babe Draft of 2012!!

Make sure to catch us on Blog Talk Radio today, live at Noon ET as we celebrate Prom!!  We will talk all things Prom-Related, and there may be a few surprises, so join us live at Noon ET.

To hook up with us, simply click on our Blog Talk Radio link HERE.

Cheers and Hola!!

Be sure to check out the I’m With Stupid podcast! The #1 Comedy Show on Blog Talk Radio!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Matt Said...Jay Said XXXV

Matt Puhuu.  Jay Puhuu.  You, Kuunnella.

Matt:  You’ve reached the Immaturity Help-Line, how may I direct your childish call?
Jay:  Hey there TUFF GUY.
Matt:  How you doin’, you BAD ASS, you?
Jay:  Man, who knew what a draft dodging pussy Ted Nugent was and is?
Matt:  Ha Ha…Wait for it…
Jay and Matt:  WE DID!!

Matt:  Poor tough guy Ted.
Jay:  Yeah.  The Motor City Fancy Boy couldn’t show up for Vietnam, but he did for our website.
Matt:  And for that, we are eternally grateful.
Jay:  Or something.

Matt:  Hey did you see that we have been getting hits from NBC Universal out of NYC?
Jay:  Oh hell yes I did.  They probably want to make a sitcom out of us being internet radio stars.
Matt:  Probably, but we are so above that type of mindless, ghetto tripe.
Jay:  We are?
Matt:  No, not really.
Jay:  Maybe it’s Tamron Hall who is checking us out.
Matt:  In my fantasy life I think you are right, and I just got a boner.
Jay:  I’d prefer you keep your erection updates to yourself.

Matt:  You know what I can’t keep to myself?
Jay:  What’s that, your self-loathing?
Matt:  No, no, no…They way we were viciously attacked as being immature, 12 year old boys this week.
Jay:  Ohhhh, no kiddin’!!  I have spent the week re-examining my inner-self after that, and I’m still pissed.
Matt:  Same here.
Jay:  We should address this beyond the website.
Matt:  Someone needs to go down for that incalcitrant remark.

Jay:  I mean…that observation holds no weight.
Matt:  IKR?  And dig it.  I was chatting with a hot babe and she said that she is taking a bath now so she can listen to our show while clean and shiny.
Jay:  That’s sweet, but she’ll need another one after listening to us.
Matt:  You know what would be really hot?
Jay:  Ha Ha…wait for it…
Matt and Jay:  IF SHE LISTENED TO US WHILE TAKING A BATH!!

Jay:  Anyhoodle, on Sunday’s show, we need to answer these charges about being all immature n’shit.
Matt:  I agree.  Because we both know we can be funny and still address serious issues logically.
Jay:  Damn straight, and thus, the show is scheduled and I titled it, “But Seriously Folks”
Matt:  That is brilliant, and…quite mature.
Jay:  Thank You.
Matt:  You’re welcome and I will see you on the radio Sunday at Noon ET on I’m With Stupid.
Jay:  Damn right you will, and the blasphemer is going to get a more than public dressing down.
Matt:  Word.

Join us Sunday at Noon ET on IWS on Blog Talk Radio.  We will be defending our honor and maturity, and hope you listen and call-in to help us.

Cheers!!

February Blows!!

February is perhaps the lousiest month contained within our dodecagonical timepiece we call, the calendar.

It sucks, or rather…it blooooooows.

Blows like a mutha.

February is windy.  It’s cold.  It’s gray and dull.

Windier than Chris Matthews…colder than the frozen tundra that exists between the thighs of Sarah Palin…grayer and more dull than Mitt Romney’s personality.

Other than the 7th which marks the birthday celebrations of two of the hippest people on earth, Chris Rock and yours truly, February is a life sucking, flat lining, twenty-eight day wasteland.

February has no soul, which is odd because it is also Black History Month.  You would think that a month devoted to the overblown, yet minor contributions to this nation by our black American friends would be a month that is dripping in soul.

Y’know?  A month like August.

Black History Month would be much mo’ better within the confines of August what with all the hot, steamy, days and humid, sultry nights.

With all that humidity n’ what not, we could not only talk about the contributions of black people in America, we could smell the dripping Jeri-Curl shit from off their collective ‘do while doing so.

If we held Black History Month in August, while I would still be subjected to watching Roots, The Medgar Evers Story, and reruns of Rerun from What’s Happening, the month-long torture would take place while enjoying some refreshing central air conditioning, and a burger fresh off the grill.

Seriously…If Black History Month wants to gain a foot hold among real Americans, i.e., WHITE Americans, I have a suggestion.

Anytime a TV station or network runs one of those silly, feel good, ten second long, Moments in Black History things…they could instead, simply put up a picture of MSNBC's Tamron Hall.

Like this one…

Or this one…

Yeah, if Tamron Hall was the Poster Vixen for Black History Month, February would be able to segregate itself from the rest of the months in spite of its otherwise dreariness, and ride in the front of the chronological bus to the mountain top of calendrical emancipation…

Mmmmmm, but?

February still sucks. It’s still windy, cold, gray, and dull.

At least this God-Awful month has but twenty-eight days, and today is the last one we shall see this year.

And for that, I am thankf---

Well, strip me naked and call me Ned Beatty…Beat me hard with a dildo and call me Sally…Call me Mitch Daniels and tell me not to run for President.

Matt-Man has just discovered that this year is a Leap Year, and we have an extra day in February…How typical.

Pope Gregory XIII wasn’t very gregarious when he invented his God Damn Gregorian Calendar!!  Just like when I was a neophyte altar boy lo those many years ago, the Catholics have screwed me again!!

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

Email:  neshobadude@yahoo.com
Twitter:  @mattmaniws