Headlines, Get Your Headlines Here!!

Every time I have trouble of thinking of a topic on which to write, I always think of how Jayman writes funny headlines once in awhile.  I have threatened to do so myself in the past, and today as I had no grist in my mill last night, I offer these headlines that I would like to see…

Local Man in Ebola Video Goes Viral

Lee Majors To Reprise Role in New Warner Bros. Pic, The 1.6 Billion Dollar Man: Adjusted For Inflation

Merger Between Cialis and Viagra Produces World’s First Eight Hour Erection

Brussel Sprouts Enjoyed By Local First Grader

Liquor Store Owner Shoots Wild Turkey

The Words Virgin Mary Spontaneously Appear in Bowl of Alphabet Soup

MSNBC’s Ronan Farrow Daily Finally Garners First Viewer

ISIS Informant Reportedly Totally Hacked Off

A Clean And Sober Rob Ford To Run For Mayor of Gary, Indiana

Sierra Leone Renames Capital City To Stenchville

Dick Morris Predicts That The Next Pope Will Be a Presbyterian

Political Pundit Dick Morris Gunned Down By Drunken Catholic League President Bill Donohue

By Unanimous Vote, The U.S. House and Senate Agree To Outsource Their Legislative Duties

And lastly…

Trick-or-Treat Cancelled Due To Christmas Preparations

There ya have it…All the news that fits.  Enjoy your Tuesday and hey…let’s be careful out there, lest we become a headline ourselves.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

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So Funny it's Scary

It was yet another spookerific, spookalicious spookination of a Halloween Extravaganza y’all! Or something anyway. We had a good time not getting any calls and celebrating all the things that go bump in the night. Well, other than us cause we bump all night. I have no idea what that mean. Anyway we discussed …

BTR Problems.

Jay had a bug last week.

Could it beeeeeeee ………. SATAN??????

Beer Mine idiocy and a couple from New York up to something nefarious!

Walkin’ through the Drive Through

We moved some good product and made a big sale.

The IWS Players do a dramatic reading of Edith Wharton’s “All Souls”

Canada loses its innocence

Excellent analysis of what makes for good Halloween treats

A few costume ideas

A trip down memory lane to when Warrior Kat and Mrs Mike called in to our FIRST Halloween Extravaganza

A brilliant and hilarious interview of Dracula by our own Joshua!

The Reverend Moneymaker makes his displeasure with Halloween known.

Phil Diller brings his special brand of humor to Halloween

We hold a séance and check in with Tammy Tibbles in the afterlife

And sooooooooooo much more! Listen or SATAN will get you!!! Or something. 


                               

Bavarian Beer Garden Break-Up

With the exception of those uber-bitter ISIS thugs, folks all over the world are celebrating the 2014 Oktoberfest season.  Jay, Matt, and the staff of IWS Radio are no exception, and are having an Oktoberfest celebration of their own.

Cold beer, hot babes, and laugh out loud funny wit and satire from the IWS Radio Players are on the party menu.  In addition to Oktoberfest…

Matt-Man found out this week that after nearly twenty-eight years of less than wedded bliss, he will be getting that dissolution of marriage that he so richly deserves.

So, IWS Radio is celebrating a joyful uber-bash of all things German, all things beer, and all things divorce related this week.

On hand for the big soiree will be Jamie Mapleleaf, Bobby Kraft, Pete Nietzsche, and perhaps even the nearly recovered willy-willy survivor, Stubby Stonehenge.

Listen in, join the party, and chime in with your phone calls tomorrow LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio as IWS Radio presents a Bavarian Beer Garden Break-Up.

To listen LIVE tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET, click HERE!!

Danke schön and Prosit!!

In Search of Moderate Syrian Rebels

Holaaaaaaaa y’all! As you probably know by now, the US Congress and Senate have given President Obama approval to identify and arm “moderate” Syrian Rebels to fight ISIS and whomever is a problem for us over there. Well, IWS World Media News has attained a copy of the questions that military advisors will be asking random Syrians to find these “moderate” rebels.

1. Are you now or have you ever been an extremist?

2. Do you think the offsetting personal foul call in football is appropriate?

3. Would you happily drive a light brown Honda Accord?

4. Do you enjoy it when David Broader writes about his bipartisan dreams in the WAPO?

5. Would you be perfectly happy living in the American Midwest?

6. Are you willing to do what’s right even though it might not be what’s popular?

7. John McCain: Great Maverick or Greatest Maverick EVAH?

8. Do you support REASONABL individual liberty and regulations in political and social reform?

9. Would you be willing to serve on a bipartisan blue ribbon committee?

10. Do you know pornography when you see it?

11. Do you usually prefer vanilla milk shakes?

12. Do you prefer a daily routine over just “winging it?”

13. Do you use food safe gloves when handling raw meats?

14. Are you a fan of simple plain hamburgers?

15. Do you type out then delete status updates and Tweets because you’re worried they might offend someone?

16. Are you unhappy with big changes?

17. Are you a “don’t sweat the small stuff” type of guy?

18. Do you think that both sides of any argument usually make some good points?

19. Do you reject labels?

20. Do you think both Fox News and MSNBC are too extreme?

I see no way this can go badly at all. Consider ISIS (or ISIL) as good as defeated!

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When IWS Radio Opens Up, Jay and Matt Are AMAZING

So what went on during yesterday’s IWS radio Show you ask?

Well…let me tell ya before you hit play at the bottom of the page and LISTEN!!

We got off to a fast start as we talked about our uneventful week and celebrated as any good American would, the life and times of Joan Rivers.

We talked about ESPN’s habit of talking about the shower habits of professional athletes.

Slyder Balzcock broke down the first week of the NCAA 2014 football season with class, élan, and mis-mangled words as he boarded his 1,500 mile helicopter trip.

Dixie Ozark had a Peabody Award winning report as to how some lesser knowledge folks in Redneckville, AR. have a hard time accepting kind, loving, yet potentially Ebola stricken victims and prefer them not to visit their town.

Martin and his Meditations brought us all down from hating the haters who hate us.

Joshua got all hot and bothered about football as he reviewed North Dallas Forty.

And…sadly…

IWS Radio’s very own catalyst of happiness and AMAZINGNESS Tammy Tibbles was shot and/or beheaded by ISIS and/or ISIL…either way she’s very much dead and we will miss her and/or question the whereabouts of Guy Ahnyurdyck.

In addition to all of that, Jay and Matt virtually bitch slapped all of the internet naysayers and nitpickers with furor, and funny comments.

It was a great show, so give it a listen….