The Sarah Palin Channel is Here!! My Life is Complete!!

Hi gang.  Sarah Palin here and it is a beautiful Thursday here in the greatest country in the world, Alaska.

I am coming to you here on this page of the IWS Radio website pages because Jay and Matt were thankfully enough to offer me the opportunity to promote my new online TV channel called the…

Sarah Palin Channel.

I am super excited to be hosting a streaming online and unfiltered news show online as we cut through the unmanly crap and political correctness of the lame stream media.

Folks from NBC to Fox News could never get along with my hard hitting and rogue style of telling it how it is, so I am sticking this hockey mom’s middle finger into their eye by creating my own subscription network.

If it’s a good enough way to go for my pal Glenn Beck over at The Blaze Radio and TV Network, it’s good enough for this mama bear.  Amirite!?

Anyhoo…So I have started my own network and you can subscribe to it for only $9.95 a month or go rogue and get an entire year of me and insights for a mere $99.95, because unlike all of those krony kapitolists in Washington, I am always trying to save Jack and Jill America, some jack!!  Ha, see what I did there!?

I will cover the news events of the day for our subscribers as best as I know how.  Which means…You will hear information and my analysis that is one-of-kind, unique, and sooey generous.  And folks…

In addition to hard-hitting news and opinion we will offer you reports as to what makes America great, personal stories of true American patriots, and intimate looks into the happy and God-purposed life that fills the Palin household.

We also plan to branch out as soon as those subscriptions come rolling in, and several new Sarah Palin Network shows and even movies are on the drawing board as we speak.

Teenagers from Alaska, to Hawaii, to the 48 continuous states will love our religious-based sex education show, “Re-discover Abstinence Through an Unplanned Pregnancy with Bristol Palin Sponsored by Bartles and Jaymes.”

We plan to hire Newt Gingrich and S.E. Cupp away from CNN, add Alan Colmes to the mix, and produce a political roundtable show called, “Spineless Liberal Caught in a Crossfire.”

Knowing that people need a break from the day to day insanity and violence that in we now live, we will also offer some lighter shows.

You think your marriage is bad?  You don’t how bad marriage can be until you see that sometimes it comes down to who is going to cut the fire wood for the evening, that’s why we are producing, “The Real Housewives of Nome.”  Funny has never been so cold.

And ladies…We have a special show for you…My first dude Todd will oil up and play beach volleyball with Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, and Anthony Edwards every week as the Sarah Palin Channel airs, “The Angry Sands of Anchorage Bay.”

And our first movie is scheduled for a July 2015 release, and it‘s called…Roots 2008: The Rise of the Manchurian Kenyan.  I can’t tell you what it is all about , but I know that you will be SHOCKED!!

Anyhoo…I hope you will subscribe and join my new network, because America and Americans such as yourself need me more than ever, and?  I need you more than ever, because the speaking fees just aren’t cutting it any longer.

God Bless you if you subscribe and God Bless America!!

Sarah

mattmaniws@ymail.com
Make Me Your Dirty Facebook Friend
Twitter Me HARD!!

Matt Said...Jay Said...Formula 409

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In the Words of Both Cicero and JayMom, Tempus Fugit

Cheers and a big celebratory welcome to you all on this glorious Tuesday that God has granted us.

Why do I sound all up in the air as if I am walking on sunshine, you ask?

Well…Oh ho, let me tell you.

Tomorrow marks the end of the second year of the IWS Radio legacy.  I shit…you…not.

Tommorow’s radio show marks the point where Jayman and I have been on the air for a full two years. I know, I know….

To some of you, it seems like a decade, but nope, it’s only been two short years of non-stop hilarity and Marconi Award winning radio stuff courtesy of the professional folks here at IWS Radio.

We hope you have enjoyed our efforts over the last couple of years and judging by the recent number of listeners to our shows, you actually have, although the fact that the recent show with Schmoop which has to date had more listens than any show we have done didn’t include much of me personally, kinda brings on a bit of, well…heartache.

(Ed. Note:  Get the fuck over yourself and your expansive, yet fragile ego, Crybaby Mahoney.)

Nonetheless, we appreciate you listening to our show, especially those of you who have been there from the start….the turgid, noisy computer, more than half drunk, unemployed and sobbing, what the fuck, early shows.

And those descriptions only apply to MY state of mind at the time!!  Holy Cow, how did we and how have we continued to do it!?

Deus ex MattJayna, that’s how!!  Huh-uh, I said that.

Our unbridled success has not gone unnoticed upon some in the community of celebrities and movers and shakers.  Noooooooo….

Congratulatory emails and words of praise have been flowing from the non-stop mouths of folks of famous personage…

And, we’d like to share some of them.

“You guys RAWWWWWWK, and if I was four years younger, I’d do you both…at the same time!!”
--Bristol Palin

“I talk of Jayman and Matt-Man as both a blessing and a curse, which comes in handy depending on which audience I am addressing at the time.”
--Mitt Romney

“You guys have built an eager audience base and a successful radio show that is special, but remember…you didn't build that radio show on your own.”
--Pres. Barack Obama

“Not only can I see Russia from my backyard, I can listen to Jay and Matt through my computer thingy.”
--Sarah Palin

“Hapoho oi h o ih jh j poj p oj poj pj po pojbkuya ywre v”
--Michael J. Fox

“God Damn It!!  When is the fucking FCC gonna shut theses two motherfuckers down?  Jew lovin’ bastards!!”
--Carl Paladino

“Jay and Matt are prime examples as to why no woman should be without free and accessible birth control.”
--Sandra Fluke

“I'm really having fun with this new mute Matt button.”
--Dour Mike

"Happy Doo Yearsssshh!!"
--The Late Dick Clark via Kirk Douglas

We appreciate the love that you all have poured upon us these last two years, and we can’t wait to continue our, what at times seems to be some funny, yet creepy and incestuous relationship that would be struck down in our judicial systems.

Thanks for sticking with us, and we will see you here tomorrow, and on the radio once again, Wednesday.

Cheers!!
Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattmaniws

Mom, I'm Pregnant..."That's Okay Bristol; I'll Call Hannity!!"

“Abolition of a woman's right to abortion, when and if she wants it, amounts to compulsory maternity: a form of rape by the State.”

Edward Abbey

I hate abortion arguments, because nobody ever does or will agree, however…there is a part of the argument, that sets me off on so many philosophical tangents, that I feel compelled to invoke more than a few words.

The abortion issue has to, and while a small part of abortions, involve the issue of rape, so let’s examine that small part of abortions on a greater philosophical bent, shall we..?

Because, when one does…It makes the entire anti-choice argument, a big fucking piece of stupid.

Many fervent, pro-Christian groups, anti-abortionist institutions, and people like Mitt Romney (today, anyway) say…

“Birth that baby, Bitch.  Even though you were raped, you will receive baubles in Heaven.”

I find it funny, odd, and just down right stupid, that “conservative” Republicans tend to like laws that prohibit abortion, even when rape is involved.

I had a back and forth with a chick on Twitter the other day and she claims to want the aforementioned type of state and went on to say, “No Baby Killed.”…Mother raped or not.

Really?

Hell, I had unprotected sex with this chick in High School, and I am still trying to get my dignity back, but if there were a way, I’d more than certainly abort my lack of self-esteem.

But seriously…

The chick I was talking to on Twitter, she went on to say that if she was raped, she would carry the child to term.  I don’t believe her, but nonetheless…her attitude is to me, kinda fucking wacky.

And well, it could be that kinda public Jesus attitude that one puts on for others and causes them to say things like…

“I hate baby killers; I hate people who don’t go to church; I hate people who don’t pronounce their love for their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." and do it on a daily basis and in a very public forum.

Oy…

Theoretically, God wants all men and women to have free will, however...

In the fucked up, born-again, and well-versed…

Sarah Palin my daughter got pregnant and so should you, type world…

A woman is doing God’s work by birthing a baby against her free will or the infant’s free will, and of course never asking…

“Where is the free-will that God so supremely rained down upon us?”

Sadly, within the familial train wreck that are the Palins and many others, it doesn’t exist, and/or too often, at least in the case of Bristol, her free will does exist.

Confused?

Yeah, me too, and here’s the thing…

Sarah and Bristol Palin, and others of their ilk are whores…"Christian" whores who believe what you believe, is a sin if it doesn't conform to what they believe, and yet…

They will Whore of Babylon themselves out to any media outlet that will allow it, all the while speaking on pro-life issues based around a fat ass Alaskan chick who got her hoo-ha forever disheveled and disfigured by a bowling ball-type sized of a bastard out of wedlock, and barely out of High School, and the igloo type thing.

Ironic, no?

For right or wrong...people get pregnant.  And whenever people are involved, error exists.

God understands that, and God gave us one and all the power to decide what is right and wrong.

God would never punish a person for having an abortion if the person thought it was the right thing to do, but he may however, punish a person for making money off His name by a chick getting drunk on “wine coolers”, playing the victim, and her, her mom, and others passing judgment on others.

Cheers!!
Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws

Bristol Palin: America's Mommy and Babe of the Week

Bristol Palin is the obvious choice for this week’s very special Mother’s Day Edition of Babe of the Week.

America first met Bristol during the 2008 presidential elections. At the time Bristol was 16 and pregnant and the charm and dignity that she showed in the face of vicious attacks from liberals made us all fall in love with her.  

After the election, Bristol was next heard from when she went on ABC’s Dancing with the Stars. Unfortunately, the bitter, jealous liberals won out again and Bristol was denied a victory that she had very clearly earned.

Now Bristol has found her voice as an advocate for conservative causes such as abstinence, traditional family values and opposition to gay marriage. Like her mother, Bristol is strong and powerful and never backs down from her beliefs. Which makes her even more appealing to the staff here at IWS.