IWS Person of the Week...Mike Huckabee !!

Greetings, Cheers, and Hola from IWS Radio...It's Sunday, so it's time for our IWS Person of the Week!!

This week, we honor a man who is true to his morals, his belief in GAWD, and his belief that if he can be a human chameleon, he can be elected in President of the United States in 2016.

Our Person of the Week is Arkansas' Second Favorite Son, behind Jayman of course, and just above that rapist and horrible President, Bill Clinton...

Former Arkansas Governor, and Human Libido Meter, Mike Huckabee!!

Everyone likes Mike, because he is a man of God, who has a rapier wit and a charm offensive that could melt the cold Teutonic heart of German Chancellor Angela Merkel...

But don't let his folksy charm fool you...He has an adorable aura about him that is quite sexy and intoxicating, even among both tea partiers and teetotalers!!  And yes ladies, his "sermon" is THIS long...

But don't get on his wrong side when it comes to issues of morality, such as women wanting unfettered access to birth control, because this hayseed is both the Starsky AND Hutch of Birth Control Police...

And let it be known, you freakish gay men and women out there, don't even think about getting married. The Huckster has the Lord's ear, and he will wipe you off the planet and wipe clean the supernatural tears of Jesus Christ from his holy face...

Mike Huckabee's tweet upon the SCOTUS ruling took extreme courage on his part, especially because his wife Janet, is a man..

.

Thank you for being you, Governor Huckabee...you put the unwanted pregnancy, two people in love crap aside, and say to all of America...

"Better to curse the sin that is Birth Control, than have a baby that you never intended, and give it up for adoption...unless it is to a gay couple, because, well...the kid will turn out gay."

Gov. Mike Huckabee..The IWS Person of the Week!!

And...Don't forget kids!!  Tonight LIVE from 8-10 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio...Jay and Matt are bidding a fond farewell to the Year 2014.

It's been a great year and we will review it thus far.

To listen LIVE Click HERE!!  

Todd Akin and Legitimate Rape: A Zygote's Rebuttal

Hi IWS fans, Newly Formed Zygote here in order to rebut, refute, and re-make fun of the, “Legitimate Rape Cannot Lead to Pregnancy Theory” offered up by U.S. Rep. Todd Akin (R-Bizarro World).

Now Todd Akin says that if a woman is “legitimately raped” somehow her body can fight that, shut down somehow, and/or miraculously through osmosis, and through her cries of, “Dear God get off of me you fucking pig!!”, invoke a secret secretion that evidently in a Deus ex Machina mode, acts as a supernatural type of spermicidal manna from Heaven.

Praise Jeebus and Praise Todd Akin!!  Well, if that were true, I’d praise them, but no...no its not true.

And how do I know this you ask?

Let me tell you…

Just days ago, when I was but a mere ovum happily dreaming of someday becoming fertilized by a nice guy with a good income and who insisted on his adorable kid eating only pizza, hamburgers, and ice cream throughout his or her entire childhood, my mom’s body was violently and criminally invaded, and my dream of a life as a loved and happy child in a stable family was shattered forever, as were her dreams.

Some people like Todd Akin believe that life begins at conception, and well at least for me it actually did, and let me tell you, if what happened is part of life, I want no part of it.

When that bastard violated my mom, I could smell the liquor on his body, hear the anguish in her voice, and taste the hate of control on his sperm.  It was ugly.  It was wrong…and most importantly and horridly, in the eyes of some, mom and I have to live with that, and take my birth down the Road to Fruition.

Fuck that.

Oh sure, you make think I know not of what I speak, after all, I am but a mere zygote.  Well let me tell you my friends, in a day or so I will become a blastocyst.  When I morph into that, watch out, because blastocysts are bad asses. In fact, just count on referring to me as Badasstocyst within the next 48 hours.

You hear me Todd Akin!!?

And you know, Todd?  As I type this I am not only going from zygote, to blastocyst, to fetus with rapidity, I am all the while inheriting the DNA of some rapist, psycho-stalking asshole with a meth addiction, and anger issues.

I know you think that somehow that is the plan of an all-knowing, all-benevolent God and we need to save me no matter how I came to be, because God would want that, but your wrong.

That may be the God you know, but the God I know?

He is all about love, and he doesn't use women as unwilling vessels in which to harbor the sperm and offspring of crackheads, boneheads, and dickheads.

When folks of your ilk rage against “radical Islam” you invoke God’s name, and when you speak as you do on this subject, you invoke God’s name as well.  I don’t think God is happy you or radical Muslims invoking His name on anything, because well, you're all fucking stupid.

I’m sure he shakes his head in disgust when Muslims kill in His name and I think he shakes his head in disgust when “Christians” such as yourself , use His name to attempt to forcibly make a woman who through no fault of her own, birth a baby whom she never wanted, never asked for, nor ever desired.

I like choice Mr. Akin and as a Conservative you should as well.  But see…

My mom had no choice, and if you consider me to be a life…I had no choice either.  And, if I come out of the womb all fucked up, angry, and hateful, I will have no choice but to hunt you down and piss all over you.

Well that, or if am born a boy, seek you out and legitimately rape you.

Cheers!!

Zy

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattmaniws

Mom, I'm Pregnant..."That's Okay Bristol; I'll Call Hannity!!"

“Abolition of a woman's right to abortion, when and if she wants it, amounts to compulsory maternity: a form of rape by the State.”

Edward Abbey

I hate abortion arguments, because nobody ever does or will agree, however…there is a part of the argument, that sets me off on so many philosophical tangents, that I feel compelled to invoke more than a few words.

The abortion issue has to, and while a small part of abortions, involve the issue of rape, so let’s examine that small part of abortions on a greater philosophical bent, shall we..?

Because, when one does…It makes the entire anti-choice argument, a big fucking piece of stupid.

Many fervent, pro-Christian groups, anti-abortionist institutions, and people like Mitt Romney (today, anyway) say…

“Birth that baby, Bitch.  Even though you were raped, you will receive baubles in Heaven.”

I find it funny, odd, and just down right stupid, that “conservative” Republicans tend to like laws that prohibit abortion, even when rape is involved.

I had a back and forth with a chick on Twitter the other day and she claims to want the aforementioned type of state and went on to say, “No Baby Killed.”…Mother raped or not.

Really?

Hell, I had unprotected sex with this chick in High School, and I am still trying to get my dignity back, but if there were a way, I’d more than certainly abort my lack of self-esteem.

But seriously…

The chick I was talking to on Twitter, she went on to say that if she was raped, she would carry the child to term.  I don’t believe her, but nonetheless…her attitude is to me, kinda fucking wacky.

And well, it could be that kinda public Jesus attitude that one puts on for others and causes them to say things like…

“I hate baby killers; I hate people who don’t go to church; I hate people who don’t pronounce their love for their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." and do it on a daily basis and in a very public forum.

Oy…

Theoretically, God wants all men and women to have free will, however...

In the fucked up, born-again, and well-versed…

Sarah Palin my daughter got pregnant and so should you, type world…

A woman is doing God’s work by birthing a baby against her free will or the infant’s free will, and of course never asking…

“Where is the free-will that God so supremely rained down upon us?”

Sadly, within the familial train wreck that are the Palins and many others, it doesn’t exist, and/or too often, at least in the case of Bristol, her free will does exist.

Confused?

Yeah, me too, and here’s the thing…

Sarah and Bristol Palin, and others of their ilk are whores…"Christian" whores who believe what you believe, is a sin if it doesn't conform to what they believe, and yet…

They will Whore of Babylon themselves out to any media outlet that will allow it, all the while speaking on pro-life issues based around a fat ass Alaskan chick who got her hoo-ha forever disheveled and disfigured by a bowling ball-type sized of a bastard out of wedlock, and barely out of High School, and the igloo type thing.

Ironic, no?

For right or wrong...people get pregnant.  And whenever people are involved, error exists.

God understands that, and God gave us one and all the power to decide what is right and wrong.

God would never punish a person for having an abortion if the person thought it was the right thing to do, but he may however, punish a person for making money off His name by a chick getting drunk on “wine coolers”, playing the victim, and her, her mom, and others passing judgment on others.

Cheers!!
Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws

The Back Alley Abortion Cafe is Ruined

Hola! As you have probably heard, Oklahoma State Senator Ralph “Pee-Wee” Shortey has introduced a bill that would BAN the use of aborted fetuses in food.  Now, you might be wondering if this was something that needs to be legislated against. Well, the answer is YES! In fact, his bill has ruined my dream of opening restaurants in Oklahoma City and Tulsa that specialize in Fetus Meat. Here’s the menu I had put together.

Welcome to the Back Alley Abortion Café!

Appetizers, Salads and Soups …

Fried Fetus Sticks w/ a Tangy Marinara Sauce

Bacon Wrapped Fetus Fingers w/ Ranch Dressing

Spicy Fetus Wings

Placenta Soup

Fetus Spring Rolls

Thick and Hearty Chunky Fetus Stew

Cajun Style Fetus and Shrimp Gumbo

Stem Cell Salad with Fetus Toes Sprinkled About

Caesar Salad w/ House Vinegar, Oil and Amniotic Fluid Dressing

Crunchy Parmesan Fetus Tenders w/ Dipping Sauces
(All White Meat)  

Lunch and Dinner …

Southwestern Style Smoked Fetus Wrap

French Dip Fetus Sandwich w/ Garlic Placenta Dipping Sauce

Grilled Fetus and Swiss Toasted Sandwich

Fetus Brains Tartare

Whole Rotisserie Fetus Slow Cooked Over Open Coals
(The crispy skin is our favorite!)

Giant Late Term Ground Fetus Burger

Hickory Smoked Fetus w/ Baked Potato

Blackened Cajun Style Fetus Served Over Wild Rice

Chicken Fried Fetus Covered in Country Gravy with a Side of Collard Greens

Classic Fetus Liver and Onions

Desserts …

Fetus Ice Cream w/ Chocolate Syrup

Fetus Brownie w/ Vanilla Ice Cream and Chocolate Syrup

Frosty Fetus Shake (Chocolate, Vanilla or Almond)

As you can see, this would have been a really big hit in downtown OKC! But, now they’ll have to travel out of state to enjoy my culinary creations. Once again, just like with explicit porn and high alcohol content beer, the good people of Oklahoma are being deprived of something great by the republicans anti-small business and job killing legislation.

Jayman
Email: Jayman3768@gmail.com
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS

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