Donald Trump For President?

After a false start thanks to BTR’s incompetence and general lack of caring about its hosts, Matt-Man and Jayman finally got to do their super immature childish humor show. And since it was a super immature childish humor show they of course featured all the idiots losing to Donald Trump in the republican primary. Plus we threw in a lot of other really funny stuff.

Matt-Man had to deal with some moron from Cleveland who insisted Matt answer the phone at the Beer Mine (conveniently located at the corner of Elmore and Burnett Roads in Bagwine, Ohio).

Jayman encounter a couple of Hipster wannabes at the barber shop and had to resist the urge to mock them in public.

Mike Huckabee promises to make prostitutes, pimps, drug dealers and other freeloaders pay their fair share.

Chris Christie and Rand Paul hug it out.

Paul Piatt stepped outside of his comfort zone with a hilariously childish poem.

Keith Olbermann dropped by with a special commentary that just might get him fired from IWS.

Ahnald have trysts with many different women at his home. Some of the women came several times.

Donald Trump put Megyn Kelly in her place and might have just finished her pathetic career off!

Erick Erickson came to Megyn’s defense. Well, in his own sick, perverted way.

Albert Pujols is …. Retarded?

Ted Cruz is childish. Not, childish humor, just childish.

Anderson Cooper is amused by getting the full twelve inches promised.

CNN is all about the Money Shot.

Robert the Taylor called in and was brilliant as usual.

We called Missalicious to see what was up with her and that got AWWWWWKWARD!

And soooooooo much more! Check it out!  

                             

IWS Will Be Your Father Figure

It was another amazing Father’s Day on IWS Radio. The show started out in the usual way with some fun and frivolous witty banter between the Mat-Daddy and JayPa. We did have to play “Cat’s in the Cradle” earlier than we usually do, but it was still fun. Both Matt and Jay are excited to get a few days of high temps and NO RAIN! Plus Jay had a minor health scare Saturday morning and Matt and Schmoop had an EPIC Friday of togetherness.

There were lots and lots of Happy Father’s Day wishes handed out by the IWS Players. Some were funny, some were touching and a couple of them were … uh … angry. Then we talked about different ways of daddying. One way is the James Evans from “Good Times” way which involves beating the hell out of the kid with a belt. Other is the Andy Griffith style which is to lay on the guilt until the kid is emotionally devastated and ready for therapy by the age of 12. We make no judgements as to which is the best style.

We mourned the passing of friend of IWS Rosemary with a snippet of her legendary call back in the early days of the show. Then we somberly moved on to a brief discussion of the Charleston Shooting. By “discussion” I mean we made fun of Dylann Roof’s hair and gave him the nickname “Old Mushroom Head.” We then went on to mock Fox News and Mike Huckabee because, why not? Plus we heard from South Carolina Senator Lindsay Graham who is running for president.

After that it was time for bad songs, more Father’s Day talk, and then the phone calls began. Robert the Taylor called in from all the way across the Atlantic in Scotland! IWS Radio is truly an international show. After Robert told us all about his Father’s Day activities and a bottle or two of wine it was Canadian Bureau Chief Jamie Mapleleaf’s turn to call in. Jamie was her usual sweet and charming self and brought a little class to the proceedings. Well, kind of.

Good LORD what a show! Damn, you guys really gotta check this one out! Listen early and often! 

                              

Let the Mighty Eagle Soar!

You won’t find a better, more respectful or hilarious Memorial Day Extravaganza anywhere on the internet than IWS Radio’s “Make it a Memorial Day to Remember” kids! What did we discuss? Well ….

Guys wearing overalls with no shirt are very dangerous people. They get whatever they want.

Lloyd at the Walmart Deli in Redneckville is gonna have some chick snitch on his ass.

Jayman taped up his leaky sunroof with Gorilla Outdoor Clear Tape.

Grilling safety tips from the Beavercreek Ohio Fire Department.

Buddy Acapella got things off to a rousing start with a beautiful rendition of the National Anthem.

Mike Huckabee gave a stirring defense of Josh Duggar. Kind of.

Why won’t republicans condemn child molesters?

We came up with brutally bad patriotic songs by really terrible people this week!

G-Square called in and is gonna do some grilling when he feels physically and emotionally capable.

Paul Piatt with a special Memorial Day poem.

Gay … er … Guy Ahnurdyck live from Ireland!

Bobby Kraft tells us about the Battle of Pea Ridge

Drew Peacock grossed everyone out AGAIN by finding the sexy in Memorial Day. 

War movies are great! We especially love “Midway!”

Visit your local battlefield and learn a little history!

We’re devastated by the loss of David Letterman and are going to miss him immensely.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand so much more! Check it!

                             

Maggie Gyllenhaal is NOT too Old for IWS Radio!

Hey everyone! Maggie Gyllenhaal here to remind everyone to listen to IWS Radio this week! As you may know I was recently insulted by a typical left-wing Hollywood elitist prick. I was told that at 37 I’m too old to play the lover of a 55 year old man. Very hurtful! After I cried about this for a while I cheered myself up by listening to IWS Radio. Matt and Jay always put a smile on my face. Just check out what they’re up to this week ….

It's Memorial Day weekend y'all and it's time to get all somber and reflect on all those who gave all for this great country. They are the best America has to offer and IWS Radio truly thanks them for their sacrifice. Unlike the NFL we don't even have to get paid by the Pentagon celebrate America's veterans.

Memorial Day is also a great time to get some good deals on mattresses, sofas, cars, summer clothes and all kinds of other items you didn't even know you needed. What better way to honor America's fallen soldiers than by going out and buying stuff probably made in Asia and putting it on your credit card or financing it? We can't think of any either. That's what America is all about!

And it's the unofficial kickoff to summer! So get those grills out and clean 'em up so you can cook your hot dogs, brats and hamburgers. Matt and Jay might have some grilling tips for patriotic Americans looking to honor veterans who died in defense of this great country by getting drunk and chowing down on fatty foods.

Canadian Bureau Chief Jamie Mapleleaf and the IWS Players will be here too. No telling what they've been up to this week, but we're sure it's something brilliant and appropriate for the occasion. Plus we lost David Letterman this week and Matt and Jay are devastated. They'll talk about their favorite memories of their friend and colleague and his life. All this plus YOUR CALLS at 661.244.9852! Do it for America!!!

WOW! What a show that’s gonna be. And the best part is that age is just a number to Matt and Jay. Everyone is welcome at IWS Radio. That makes me so happy! So, be sure to tune into “Make it a Memorial Day to Remember” this Sunday at 12 Noon! See you there!

IWS Person(s) of the Week...Big IWS Radio Fans Are Celebrating Birthdays This Weekend

It's a big day for IWS Radio today.  We are celebrating our fifth season on the air today, an entirely new chapter in the history of the show.

And in honor of IWS Radio beginning a new season on Blog Talk Radio, IWS would like to take the time to honor some celebrities who are beginning a new season in their personal lives.

Here are four hot and talented colleagues and fans of IWS Radio who who are celebrating their birthdays this weekend...

Dave Chappelle...The crazy man from Yellow Springs, Ohio is not only celebrating his 41st birthday today, he is planning his next trip to the moon...

Mike Huckabee...Jayman's less-than favorite Arkansan is celebrating his 59th birthday today with his lovely wife...without alcohol, or any hint of modest cuddle time or sexual activity of course...

Anne Archer...This Fatal Attraction beauty is celebrating her 67th birthday today, and as Matt-Man has always had a thing for her, there is no gratuitous caption involved...

Of course tomorrow, August 25th, the lovely and uber-talented Blake Lively will be entering season 27 of her young and oh so hot life.  We wish her the best, especially after she finds out that Ryan Reynolds is a tailor-made empty suit...

IWS Radio celebrates these four great Americans as our Persons of the Week as they, as does IWS Radio, begin a new season in their lives.  Keep On Truckin' ye great ones...Keep On Truckin'.

And ladies and gents...IWS Radio opens up Season Five today with a bang.  Bobby Kraft, Rev. Moneymaker, Guy Ahnyurdyck, Paul Piatt, Jamie Mapleleaf, and more will be on hand, as Jay and Matt open up Season Five of IWS Radio.

And big news kids...For the first time in a long time Schmoop will be in the hizzy LIVE!!

So join us LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET on Blogtalk Radio as IWS Radio kicks off Season Five.

To join the fun, CLICK HERE!!

IWS Person of the Week...Mike Huckabee !!

Greetings, Cheers, and Hola from IWS Radio...It's Sunday, so it's time for our IWS Person of the Week!!

This week, we honor a man who is true to his morals, his belief in GAWD, and his belief that if he can be a human chameleon, he can be elected in President of the United States in 2016.

Our Person of the Week is Arkansas' Second Favorite Son, behind Jayman of course, and just above that rapist and horrible President, Bill Clinton...

Former Arkansas Governor, and Human Libido Meter, Mike Huckabee!!

Everyone likes Mike, because he is a man of God, who has a rapier wit and a charm offensive that could melt the cold Teutonic heart of German Chancellor Angela Merkel...

But don't let his folksy charm fool you...He has an adorable aura about him that is quite sexy and intoxicating, even among both tea partiers and teetotalers!!  And yes ladies, his "sermon" is THIS long...

But don't get on his wrong side when it comes to issues of morality, such as women wanting unfettered access to birth control, because this hayseed is both the Starsky AND Hutch of Birth Control Police...

And let it be known, you freakish gay men and women out there, don't even think about getting married. The Huckster has the Lord's ear, and he will wipe you off the planet and wipe clean the supernatural tears of Jesus Christ from his holy face...

Mike Huckabee's tweet upon the SCOTUS ruling took extreme courage on his part, especially because his wife Janet, is a man..

.

Thank you for being you, Governor Huckabee...you put the unwanted pregnancy, two people in love crap aside, and say to all of America...

"Better to curse the sin that is Birth Control, than have a baby that you never intended, and give it up for adoption...unless it is to a gay couple, because, well...the kid will turn out gay."

Gov. Mike Huckabee..The IWS Person of the Week!!

And...Don't forget kids!!  Tonight LIVE from 8-10 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio...Jay and Matt are bidding a fond farewell to the Year 2014.

It's been a great year and we will review it thus far.

To listen LIVE Click HERE!!  

Sore Throats and Satire Do Not Mix

Cheeeeeeeeers and a Happy Thursday to you all, and you damn well better be happy. because for the next few days I shall be living vicariously through you!!

I have a sore throat.  A sore throat from Hell, and I mean it is literally a sore throat from Hell, because I hear that the Devil has Menorah-like hemorrhoids that burn for days upon end, and well…

I evidently have Satan’s, blood red ass cherries firmly lodged in my throat as they turn my uvula into what looks like a tiny, yet swollen red incandescent light bulb, and leaves my trachea feeling like the 4-Methylcyclohexane Methanol laced Kanawha River in West By God Virginia

Yep, that’s the state of my throat, and as many of us know, sore throats are among the most annoying non-life threatening afflictions with which we deal, because…

Sore throats while they last, are constant.  Sore throats are omnipresent.  An active sore throats mock us, because unlike having the flu when one just lies down and sleeps it away, the sore throat allows one to remain active.

I may be a bit tired, but I am still awake enough and able enough to go to work, and yet?  My throat is fucking killing me!!

And you know what I have discovered during this inflamed throat episode?

I never realized how often I swallow during the day, when not eating nor drinking.  Holy Cow, the average person evidently does a swallow reflex out of habit 10,000 times a day.  And?

And with each swallow, laugh, and/or cough, I cry…just a little…both inside and out.

And let me tell you.  It has affected my skills as a world-class satirist.  Oh Yeah.

See, because of the annoying and constant pain, I cannot focus on the humor at hand that our good God has given us the last couple of days, and let me tell ya…

There’s a Noah’s Ark full of funny out there that transpired just in the past 48 hours.

Justin Bieber for instance…He tried to pull a Richard Marx and act like a total 5’7” badass by driving drunk in a rented Lamborghini and got arrested for DUI and resisting arrest.  Resisting arrest?

How many resisting arrest jokes are there to be made involving Justin Bieber?  Thousands!!  And I cannot concentrate enough due to my sore throat in order to put them to pen.

How does a 5’7” Pixie-Stix of a Canadian resist a burly Miami police officer?  By threatening to sing to him? See?  While probably true, it’s not very funny.  Thanks, Mr. Sore Throat.

And then late yesterday, former Gov. Mike Huckabee told the audience at the RNC Winter Meeting that women have been led to believe (by Democrats) that they need an Uncle Sugar and free birth control pills because woman cannot control their own libido.

The fact of the matter is that The Huckster doesn’t want women to have any birth control because GAWD wants them barefoot and pregnant, because well, that’s God’s plan.  Just ask the incestuous daughters of Lot and their alcoholic father!!

See?  This Huckabee crap is primetime joke-ready funny, and what do I have? Not a damn thing, because I am distracted by Satan’s Hemorrhoids inside my throat.

You would think that if Satan put his ass berries in my throat he would give me something funny to say about God’s Chosen One, Mike Huckabee, but no…Satan wants to merely torture me like the next guy.

However, I can get this out before I gargle once again with salt water and Wild Irish Rose…

Governor Huckabee, if your daughter Sarah was dating Justin Bieber, wouldn’t you want her on the strongest form of birth control that your Tea Party, Christian Coalition, and Super Pac money could buy?

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

Chick-fil-A and the Gay Marriage Controversy

“Everything popular is wrong.” 
--Oscar Wilde

Once again, while uttered decades ago, the words of my gayest of heroes Oscar Wilde, are still brilliant yet simplistic, sarcastically genius, as well as timely, and dead on.

As many of you know, Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy recently said that he supports, “the biblical definition of the family unit.”

When I heard this, I thought to myself…

“That’s great Dan.  I think you are a moron who wraps himself inside of some un-Christ-like thinking, but whatever.  Enjoy stroking your poultry, and who the hell cares what the head of a chicken chain thinks anyway?”

Well, smack me in the gizzards and call me Foghorn Leghorn, because evidently, many Americans care what the big rooster in the henhouse of chicken sandwich chains has to say about gay marriage.

Well…many Americans who have an agenda based on immovable opinions, monocular thinking, and my way or the highway philosophies, seem to have a loud and profound opinion on Dan Cathy’s comment.

On the left we have Mayor Rahm Emanuel of Chicago, the dago mayor of Boston, Michael Menino, and a growing list of mayors of American cities such as San Francisco stating that because of Dan Cathy’s personal “religious” stance, Chick-fil-A is not welcome in their towns.

Feigned outrage equals hypocrisy, and please allow me to demonstrate.

If the President of the Chicago Bears, Bulls, Cubs, or White Sox held Cathy’s view, Mayor Rahm would not say, “You are no longer welcome in Chicago!!”

If the President of the Boston Red Sox or owner of the nearby New England Patriots held Cathy’s view on gay marriage, Mayor Menino would not say, “Get the hell out of here!!”

Hell no they wouldn’t!!

And the Lesbian and Gay community and activists?  They shriek like infants, screaming….

“We shouldn’t be subjected to this…Keep them out of our town, city, and or burg.”

If Dan Cathy’s comments bother you, just shut the fuck up and boycott Chick-fil-A by not going there.

Speak your point by not eating there, but please, honor their right to do business as you want your rights to be honored, and quit your damn whining.

They have as much right to do business in your town, and ANY town, as you have the right to express your gayness, and yes in my opinion, have civil protections in a union as do a man and a woman.

Now…on the right?

Former Arkansas Governor and incredible growing man Mike Huckabee has deemed tomorrow, August 1st, to be Chick-fil-A Day.  He wants everyone to go to Chick-fil-A and buy a chicken sandwich in support of their principled stance.  Of course…

He then wants you to bring your purchases to him so that in the name of GAWD, he can devour them all.

Sarah Palin and her first dude, whatever the fuck his name is, had a photo op at a Chick-fil-A in Texas, because nothing says trying to remain relevant like buying a chicken sandwich in the name of preventing two guys or chicks from becoming monogamous in the eyes of the Lord.

Oy…What the fuck has happened to this country?

We’re having a fight over gay marriage in a chicken coop, in order to prevent or promote the hens laying eggs together or the cocks crowing all over each other.

I miss you Mr. Wilde…I miss you.

Cheers!!
Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattmaniws