Maggie Gyllenhaal is NOT too Old for IWS Radio!

Hey everyone! Maggie Gyllenhaal here to remind everyone to listen to IWS Radio this week! As you may know I was recently insulted by a typical left-wing Hollywood elitist prick. I was told that at 37 I’m too old to play the lover of a 55 year old man. Very hurtful! After I cried about this for a while I cheered myself up by listening to IWS Radio. Matt and Jay always put a smile on my face. Just check out what they’re up to this week ….

It's Memorial Day weekend y'all and it's time to get all somber and reflect on all those who gave all for this great country. They are the best America has to offer and IWS Radio truly thanks them for their sacrifice. Unlike the NFL we don't even have to get paid by the Pentagon celebrate America's veterans.

Memorial Day is also a great time to get some good deals on mattresses, sofas, cars, summer clothes and all kinds of other items you didn't even know you needed. What better way to honor America's fallen soldiers than by going out and buying stuff probably made in Asia and putting it on your credit card or financing it? We can't think of any either. That's what America is all about!

And it's the unofficial kickoff to summer! So get those grills out and clean 'em up so you can cook your hot dogs, brats and hamburgers. Matt and Jay might have some grilling tips for patriotic Americans looking to honor veterans who died in defense of this great country by getting drunk and chowing down on fatty foods.

Canadian Bureau Chief Jamie Mapleleaf and the IWS Players will be here too. No telling what they've been up to this week, but we're sure it's something brilliant and appropriate for the occasion. Plus we lost David Letterman this week and Matt and Jay are devastated. They'll talk about their favorite memories of their friend and colleague and his life. All this plus YOUR CALLS at 661.244.9852! Do it for America!!!

WOW! What a show that’s gonna be. And the best part is that age is just a number to Matt and Jay. Everyone is welcome at IWS Radio. That makes me so happy! So, be sure to tune into “Make it a Memorial Day to Remember” this Sunday at 12 Noon! See you there!

MURICA: FUCK YEAH!!

This week we went on a patriotic little trip on IWS Radio. We wandered the internet superhighways and byways in search of America and we found it. America is inside of all of us. America is in our hearts and minds at all times, right next to Jesus.

It was a different kind of a show this week. Oh sure, it was funny as always. You get Matt-Man and Jayman in the same place and the laughter will be flowing like a river during the rainy season. Minus all the mud, litter and twigs that accumulate when rivers rise. You get the idea though, there were some funny moments. Mostly though I think you could sense the deep, unconditional love we both have for America.

After the usual witty banter we kicked things off with a beautiful rendition of The Star Spangled Banner by Buddy Acapella. From there we talked about what we love most about America, some of our favorite Americans and even people we would be willing to make honorary Americans.

There was some patriotic music during the show also. The song “You’re a Grand Old Flag” from Billy Murray in 1906 brought tears to Jayman’s eyes. Then we all sang along to “Yankee Doodle Dandy” but afterwards there was a discussion about how appropriate that song is for kids.

Slyder Balzcock, Mr Vague and even Senator John McCain joined us to celebrate American in their own way. Along with them we heard from Bobby Kraft, KleeShay Johnson and the Alarmist Weatherman scared the heck out of everyone who thought clear skies and sun wasn’t anything to worry about it.

Then Jamie Mapleleaf called in with some very important information about men’s health. Matt-Man and Jayman both took notes and pledged to do their best to follow her instructions. Schmoop also joined Jamie and Jay to talk about all the slicing and dicing going on at the Deli. Then we wrapped everything up with Matt and Jay’s favorite patriotic song of all time “This Land is Your Land” by Woody Guthrie.

Another EPIC episode of IWS Radio kids! Check it out! Or do you hate America????

                              

                                                

Memorial Day 2012: Here's To The Dead, Not The Ratings And Poll Grabbing Undead

Happy Memorial Day from IWS!!

Okay wait…um…

Somber Memorial Day from IWS!?

Neither salutation seems to fit, um…

Anyhoo, it is Memorial Day, and millions of Americans across our great nation are celebrating this day in the form of can’t miss Sealy Mattress Sales, drunken cookouts, and watching septuagenarian Shriners drive around in tiny, tiny cars on Main Street U.S.A.

It’s the one day a year when, barring a new war, that Lee Greenwood gets some of his long lost fame, and relevance back, and actually gets some air play outside the mothball smelling stages of Branson, MO.

Do I sound bitter about Memorial Day and our Armed Forces?  Do I sound as though I am some suffering bowl of Liberal succotash?  Do I sound like an anti-military hater?

Well my friends…I am not.  Not in the least.

Hell, in 1987 I tried to enlist into the Air Force and was stricken down by an unwillingness on the government’s behalf of accepting a 22 year old man who was nearly legally blind and had a case of bronchitis into their armed services.  Petty fuckers.

Indeed, some see me as some type of Liberal Chucklehead who hates the military, and wants nothing to do with it to the point where I hate Memorial Day.

You know what I would like to say to people like that?

“Y’all can kiss my red, white, and blue ass, bend down and suck my Manifest Destiny dick, and go self-asphyxiate your own, sunshine patriot asses, because I am a REAL American, and I know what Memorial Day is all about.”

Memorial Day began as a day to honor the dead who fought in the Civil War, and then grew to a day where we, as Americans, honor the dead of every war in which this nation has offered her men and women.

And now?

Ever since 9/11, EVERY fucking day consists of a “thank you for your service“, “let’s honor the men and women who serve”, and “thank you for defending us” type of thing from every radio and TV outlet and host in this nation.

Those words have become meaningless, and today, Memorial Day 2012 we will hear those empty, ratings, and poll approving words said yet again, in an attempt by each cable network and candidate trying to prove that THEY are the most patriotic.  Ha…

FOX News doesn’t give a shit.  No politician gives a shit.  Most Americans don’t give a shit.

FOX News will fly the flag above a LIVE soldier. A Politician will shake the hand of a LIVE soldier, and the rest of America will shake the hand of LIVE family member or neighbor as they cook burgers on the grill.

Sadly…that is what media, political, and neighborly types think of Memorial Day these days.

Let me say to all of you…

FOX NEWS?  Memorial Day is about the fallen soldiers, not the ones that you use in order to make yourselves look like you care.

Candidates?  Having a picture taken of yourself with a drunken crew from the VFW 1068 on Memorial Day doesn’t make you more of a candidate.

And Americans?

If you spend your day cooking out with friends and family, you are closer to what this day is about than the other freaks.

You are celebrating the right to assemble.  The right to happiness.  The right to get as drunk as you want and fall into a grill as long as others aren’t hurt.

That is what those who gave all died for, and THAT is what this day is about.

It’s not about anybody and everybody who has served or will serve, it is about those marvelous bastards and bitches who left it all on the field of battle.

It is a day for the dead, so that we may live.

Cheers!!
Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws

Annnnnd….Jayman and I kicked off Summer yesterday with one helluva good IWS Radio Show.  We talked cookouts, Memorial Day, and Jay’s Family Reunion, it was a hoot, so check it out: