Write Dunk Edit Sober Then do a Podcast

Sunday was the “Write Drunk, Edit Sober” show on IWS Radio and let me tell ya folks, the show was jammed pack with awesomeness! Hell, we were rolling along so hard we didn’t even realize it was almost over until there was 1.5 minutes left. We probably could have gone on for another hour easily.  We also had a great crowd in the chat room. None of them called in, but listening is fine too.

We started out talking about our good friend Angie’s struggles with From You Flowers. If From You Flowers thought that was behind them, this week’s show was a sad reminder that it’s not even close to being over. Hell, when we were finished talking about how IWS Radio brought From You Flowers to their knees, we just wasted several minutes making fun of their name.

Thennnnnnnnnnn things really got rolling!

We ended the From You Flowers disaster segment with the lovely and talented Aunt Jackie singing Al Green’s classic “Let’s Stay Together.” That set a great tone for the rest of the show! Damn Jaxx is talented!

After that we bantered back and forth about writing and what a beautiful struggle it is…

We covered writer’s block and some ideas of how to deal with it. Some people pace, some surf the net, some just power through and do some stream of consciousness writing.

Tammy Tibbles wandered by to lift our spirits with her brand of positive inspirational writing.

Rev Moneymaker reminded us that it’s important to keeps things positive and not write anything sleazy or unseemly.

We talked about our writing processes and how we come up with our brilliant blog posts. Plus we discussed writing on a deadline and falling victim to going for too much click-bait rather than relying on the quality of the writing. You know, just randomly posting tawdry pics of say, Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry kissing or something equally disgusting.

Paul Piatt took exception to the whole “be yourself” theory to writing and then came back later with some great tips.

Schmoop simply unloaded on Jayman and Matt-Man in one of the most hurtful rants in the history of IWS Radio.

We talked about what kind of book we would write if we were to do so.

And soooooooooooooo much more! You’ve gotta check this one out y’all!

More Comedy Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with IWS Radio on BlogTalkRadio

How to Be a Famous Mommy Blogger

Hola all you folks hanging around the slowly dying Bloggerhood to the bitter end. IWS has a very special treat for y’all today. I’m joined by my very good friend, the super smart, funny, sweet, clever, talented and HAWT Gnetch AKA: Little Miss Sunshine!!! IKR???!!!!  Anyway, we’re here today to give some of you budding Mommy/Daddy Bloggers out there some free advice on making it in the Blogging World.

Gnetch: That’s right Jay and hello to the IWS world! Blogging may be dead but not for mommy blogs. Seems like mommy blogs will stay with us forever, at least until they stop having babies or their babies grow up. Since mommy/daddy blogs are pretty common, I have a few tips on how to be an EXTRAORDINARY mommy/daddy blogger.

Jay: That’s right Gnetch babe! We are freaking EXPERTS on this shit. I mean just look at us, the happy mommy and daddy with our beautiful United Nations looking family which is a HUGE advantage in the mommy blogging world for obvious reasons…

Anyway, here’s some very good advice for you other mommies and daddies out there.

Gnetch: Giving your readers the impression that your baby is extra smart because they learned how to say "dada" at such an early age is pretty common. Readers have higher standards now. They're not impressed with "dada" anymore. Unless "dada" really means "fuck off", then that's extraordinary.

Jay: You’re absolutely right on that. One of the biggest mistakes I see mommy/daddy bloggers make is they brag about some of the most mundane things their little snowflakes do that really aren’t all that special. Kids do cute shit all the time and they pretty much all do the same cute shit. You gotta make sure your kids stands out!

Gnetch: Darn right! What’s important is for mommies and daddies to make readers think your baby is better than theirs. Do not just rely on them developing naturally. Teach them and let your readers think they're just naturally talented.

Jay: What kinds of things should people be teaching their babies?

Gnetch: In their first month, while your baby is still trying to adjust to this strange new world, teach them how to twerk. Oh, don't use the "they're just babies, their bones are still weak" bullshit. It's a tough world out there. Better train them early. Anyway, teach them how to twerk. This may take time, because one-month babies can't stand by themselves yet BUT it will be worth your effort. By the age of 3 months, they'll probably be twerking their way to you to ask for milk.

Jay: That would be a pretty special baby right there!

Gnetch: Oh, there’s more. In their third month, when your baby is strong enough to hold their head steadier (and can twerk), teach them how to pole dance. Install a pole in their crib and let them figure out what to do with it. They'll figure it out. The kid will reach for the pole, learn how to stand while holding on to the pole, and eventually learn how to dance. You’ll be surprised.

Jay: This when mom and dad need to get the video recorder out and make their kid a star right?

Gnetch: Dude, you are so right. Make sure you document these talents on a video and post it on your blog. OHMYGOD, your baby has natural talent. Of course no one should know that you're the one who taught your baby. Our aim here is to make your baby sound special and be on Ellen before the age of 1.

Jay: Special but not “SPECIAL” right?

Gnetch: Ha! Right, we’re not talking hockey helmet special here. We’re talking Miley Cyrus special talent here. Most importantly though, to stand out as a mommy/daddy blogger, you have to make sure your baby reaches fame and popularity. Add a few drops of alcohol in their milk and have them snort a pinch of coke. You're gonna get hate for this, that's for sure. But what matters is that you and your baby are famous. Bad publicity is still publicity, right?

Jay: Hell yeah! Rehab at the age 12? That’s gonna get your kid talked about on social media a lot and that’s where fame starts. From there make sure the kid relapses so they can go on Dr. Drew and Celebrity Rehab and then what happens?

Gnetch: Your kids go on Oprah and then they get their very own reality show! And THAT’S how you measure success as a parent!

Jay: Damn right babe! Thanks for sharing all your brilliant insight with us here today.

Gnetch: No, thank you! Anytime dude.

Jayman3768@gmail.com                   
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A Whole New Jay

Hola Internet Peeps! Jay here to talk about social media again! I know you’re getting tired of Jay talking about social media BUT IT’S ALL HE’S GOT! So please be patient with Jay. Also, Jay has a few more things that he hasn’t addressed. But, Jay is a nice guy, so Jay will compromise with you. Jay will stop blogging in third person. How’s that for fair? Jay agrees!

Whew! I’m glad that third person shit is over with. It was getting annoying. Anyhoodle, I’ve been thinking about social media and my post from last week plus some things that happened over the weekend and I’ve come to a conclusion. I’m simply too nice. I let too many things go. It’s time Jay took a stand.  Oops, slipped back into third person there. Sorry, old habits die hard.

The first thing I want to talk about is something I tweeted about last week and the uber lovely Dianne with two n’s posted about yesterday. Blogger has changed up its word verification. And? IT’S BULLSHIT! So, Jay I’ve come up with a new commenting policy. 

Effective immediately, on blogs that I have followed for a long time, I will attempt to comment ONCE. If the word verification doesn’t let me through, then I’ll move on. On all knew blogs, I will not even take the time to attempt to break through the idiotic word verification. I don’t want to hear your complaints about spam. Too fucking bad. If you make it hard for people to comment on your blog, then you have no room to complain about people not commenting.

Same rule goes for blogs with comment moderation. I don’t know why, but I really, REALLY hate comment moderation. Well, I do know why. It takes away from the community feel of blogging and restricts the back and forth that commenting can sometimes create. Anyway, for blogs I’ve read for a while now, I’ll try ONCE and that’s it.

Also, I will no longer ReTweet, Digg, Stumble, Reddit or otherwise promote other people’s shit who never reciprocate at all. That’s total bullshit right there. You arrogant, entitled pieces of shit! I help you promote your shitty writing or podcasts, but you think you are owed that and don’t turn around help me with my shitty writing and podcast? Well fuck you!

You know, I kind of like this “New Jay.” Jay doesn’t put up with anyone’s shit. Jay takes a hard line with social media people. That’s right, Jay is writing in third person again! You know why? Because Jay doesn’t give a fuck, that’s why!

Well, okay I kind of give a fuck. I mean, I’m still a nice guy. I wish I wasn’t sometimes. And maybe I shouldn’t be. But, I do hold back a lot. I let a lot of things go and I think it’s time to stop doing that. In fact, on Twitter this morning I took a run at Miranda Lambert, and I just a little exchange with Gregg Doyel of CBS Sports. Of course, I lost, but that’s okay. I took a run at him. I’ll win next time. It’s about not letting things go.

It’s all about being a whole new Jay. If that’s okay with you guys? Is it?

Jayman
Email: Jayman3768@gmail.com
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS

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In other, yet related news, Matt-Man and Jayman presented “A Social Media Extravaganza in Third Person” on I’m With Stupid. And? It was fantabulous! An absolute classic. Listen in to find out the OUTRAGEOUS request that Jay fielded on Saturday from another BTR host. And, Jay’s reasoning behind agreeing to it. Although, the “new” Jay would never have done so.

We talked Social Media, Whitney Houston’s funeral and then IWS favorite Mike (who uses that annoying damn word verification) called in. And of course there was a “Pee Break with Schmoop” segment that was just awesome.

So, check it out! We very much appreciate your listening and in now feel like we’re entitled to it. We just want to make everyone happy and bring a smile to their face.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Being Both OCD and ADD

Hola Bit … Uh, could you guys all get seated and settle down as I’m very easily distracted. And Matt-Man, could you stop pacing for a minute? It makes me nervous. Do you guys think a person can be both OCD and ADD? Or do those thing … Look, I gotta ask you stop fidgeting around and kind of pay attention here. Enough of this shuffling papers and looking over at the TV while reading my post. It really does throw me off. 

Okay, Knight may continue to adjust her lingerie, but the rest of you stop it. 

How do they get those sail boat models in bottles? I mean, I don’t see any hinges or place on the bottle where they snap together or anything. Shit, I stare at those things for hours trying to figure it out. Never have. 

Anyway, the point of this post is to ask why is that I’m so easily distracted, but also kind of focused on finishing the task at hand. Like I start on a blog post and feel like I should finish it real fast like, but then I see someone post a link on Twitter to a pic of Lindsay Lohan and her mother making out and, well I gotta go look at that pic and then I gotta tweet it and then post it on the official IWS Tumblr and answer fan mail over there and then all of the sudden I remember that I had a fucking blog post started somewhere. 

I think what I’m going to do is turn off the TV and close out all other programs on my laptop so I can finish this post. But first, I need a Pepsi. 

*Goes to the kitchen to get a Pepsi. Also grabs some tortilla chips and then realizes that the fridge is looking a little empty so decides to make a shopping list. Then empties the dishwasher cause he’s right there anyway. Finally returns to his computer 15 minutes later and then realizes he left the Pepsi and bowl of chips on the counter. Pepsi is warm now. *

You see what I mean? Hold on, I have a text I need to answer. 

*Answers text. Goes to Google to search for “Both ADD and OCD. Ends up on YouTube searching for New Orleans Jazz music and videos of kittens. Goes to get the Pepsi that is now cool again and realizes he never opened it and could have just gotten a different one and put the one that was getting warm back for another time. Comes back to finally finish this post. Bowl of tortilla chips are still sitting on the counter.*

Honestly, I don’t know why I never get anything done. I get a lot of things started, but finishing seems to be a problem. That grocery list I made? I’ll forget something, then I’ll go back the next day to get it, and instead I’ll get three other things and still forget to get the thing I originally wanted. 

Life is such a struggle. I have all these great ideas and plans and then things come up. Not important things, but things that demand my atten … hold on … time for Jeopardy! I’ll get back to this in a bit.

*Returns to finish blog post two days later* 

It’s not really that I have trouble focusing, it’s that I have trouble finishing. I get started reading blogs and I feel like I’ve got to finish reading each of them RIGHT FUCKING NOW. I check to see if it’s my turn in WWF and I have to sit there for God knows how long to play my turn in every single game. It doesn’t matter that I was only going to play my turn against one person and that I was in the middle of doing something else. Of course, I don’t play my turn in every game because I’ll see a tweet linking to an article I want to read or whatever. And then several minutes later I’ll get a message asking if I would like to play my turn in WWF sometime soon. What game? Oh yeah, that game! Sheesh. 

But, sometimes I do get things done. Like our Blogroll is up and running. It even has its own page! How fucking sweet is that? So, check it out and if you aren’t on there and think you should be, just let me know. I’ll update immediately. Or as soon as I get around to it. 

And, one other thing, I’m With Stupid now has a Google Voice Number that you can call and leave a voicemail message on. We can then download the messages and play them on the show and/or post them here and on the Tumblr page. It’ll be fun! Do it! 

Here’s the number: 937.387.8597

Admit it, you thought I would forget to post the number, didn’t you? 

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman_iws