You Tube Is A Cruel Mistress

Cheeeeeeers Bitches and a Happy Friday to you all.  Do you know why I am coming to you on Friday rather than Thursday?  Of course you don’t, but allow me to assplain…

Oh sure, you may think it was because I was partying hard on Wednesday night, but I don’t.

Much like Protestants, I celebrate the Lord on Wednesdays for whatever reason.  Okay…seriously?  I don’t celebrate the Lord on Wednesday but I am at the Beer Mine til’ 9, so I don’t engage in a day full of debauchery.

Anyhoo…The reason and/or reasons that I forgot to post yesterday is due to more than a couple of contributing factors…

First of all, I am old.  I can’t remember what day is what anymore especially since my BFF Schmoop works different days every week.  I like a rigid schedule as far as work goes, but anymore with deli girl being all over the place schedule wise, my decrepit mind knows not what day it is.

A related factor is that the older I get, the more my less than stellar attention span becomes.  I have always been a, “I See Something Shiny” kind of guy, but as the years get longer, my attention span grows even shorter.

And perhaps, the biggest contributing factor of my forgetfulness about yesterday’s post was this…

With the addition to our Worst Song of the Week segment and more inclusive use of stupid audios spewed by others during the IWS Radio Show, I go onto You Tube more than ever, and this requires a lot of You Tube research.

See?  When I go onto You Tube to find a really bad song, and type in Wildfire by Michael Martin Murphey or whatever, other suggestions of songs pop up, and they are all horrid.  And?  I have to listen to all of them to make certain that I am not missing out on bringing you the very worst music ever recorded.

And this Sunday on the IWS Radio Show?  Jayman and I are talking about people who just need to shut the fuck up and shut their whore mouths, so…

Last night when I got home from the Beer Mine, I went to You Tube and conjured up video after video of famous and not so famous people saying incredibly stupid, annoying, and/or idiotic things, but here’s the problem…

I began searching around 11 PM and the next thing I knew, it was 1 AM and even though I hadn't eaten, I was exhausted and went to bed.  Funny thing about You Tube.

It sucks a person in with video suggestions and the next thing you know, it’s two hours later.  I hate You Tube, and…

I love it as well, and couldn’t live without it, however…it should have a growing old/ADD option where it shuts down for three minutes after playing one video.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
Tweet the Piss Outta Me
Facebook Me Hard

Being Both OCD and ADD

Hola Bit … Uh, could you guys all get seated and settle down as I’m very easily distracted. And Matt-Man, could you stop pacing for a minute? It makes me nervous. Do you guys think a person can be both OCD and ADD? Or do those thing … Look, I gotta ask you stop fidgeting around and kind of pay attention here. Enough of this shuffling papers and looking over at the TV while reading my post. It really does throw me off. 

Okay, Knight may continue to adjust her lingerie, but the rest of you stop it. 

How do they get those sail boat models in bottles? I mean, I don’t see any hinges or place on the bottle where they snap together or anything. Shit, I stare at those things for hours trying to figure it out. Never have. 

Anyway, the point of this post is to ask why is that I’m so easily distracted, but also kind of focused on finishing the task at hand. Like I start on a blog post and feel like I should finish it real fast like, but then I see someone post a link on Twitter to a pic of Lindsay Lohan and her mother making out and, well I gotta go look at that pic and then I gotta tweet it and then post it on the official IWS Tumblr and answer fan mail over there and then all of the sudden I remember that I had a fucking blog post started somewhere. 

I think what I’m going to do is turn off the TV and close out all other programs on my laptop so I can finish this post. But first, I need a Pepsi. 

*Goes to the kitchen to get a Pepsi. Also grabs some tortilla chips and then realizes that the fridge is looking a little empty so decides to make a shopping list. Then empties the dishwasher cause he’s right there anyway. Finally returns to his computer 15 minutes later and then realizes he left the Pepsi and bowl of chips on the counter. Pepsi is warm now. *

You see what I mean? Hold on, I have a text I need to answer. 

*Answers text. Goes to Google to search for “Both ADD and OCD. Ends up on YouTube searching for New Orleans Jazz music and videos of kittens. Goes to get the Pepsi that is now cool again and realizes he never opened it and could have just gotten a different one and put the one that was getting warm back for another time. Comes back to finally finish this post. Bowl of tortilla chips are still sitting on the counter.*

Honestly, I don’t know why I never get anything done. I get a lot of things started, but finishing seems to be a problem. That grocery list I made? I’ll forget something, then I’ll go back the next day to get it, and instead I’ll get three other things and still forget to get the thing I originally wanted. 

Life is such a struggle. I have all these great ideas and plans and then things come up. Not important things, but things that demand my atten … hold on … time for Jeopardy! I’ll get back to this in a bit.

*Returns to finish blog post two days later* 

It’s not really that I have trouble focusing, it’s that I have trouble finishing. I get started reading blogs and I feel like I’ve got to finish reading each of them RIGHT FUCKING NOW. I check to see if it’s my turn in WWF and I have to sit there for God knows how long to play my turn in every single game. It doesn’t matter that I was only going to play my turn against one person and that I was in the middle of doing something else. Of course, I don’t play my turn in every game because I’ll see a tweet linking to an article I want to read or whatever. And then several minutes later I’ll get a message asking if I would like to play my turn in WWF sometime soon. What game? Oh yeah, that game! Sheesh. 

But, sometimes I do get things done. Like our Blogroll is up and running. It even has its own page! How fucking sweet is that? So, check it out and if you aren’t on there and think you should be, just let me know. I’ll update immediately. Or as soon as I get around to it. 

And, one other thing, I’m With Stupid now has a Google Voice Number that you can call and leave a voicemail message on. We can then download the messages and play them on the show and/or post them here and on the Tumblr page. It’ll be fun! Do it! 

Here’s the number: 937.387.8597

Admit it, you thought I would forget to post the number, didn’t you? 

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman_iws