Bert Convy Loves IWS Radio

Hi all…The late great Bert Convy here for IWS Radio…

When I was alive, I was an average guy who could do a lot of things in an average way.  I was an average game show host…an average singer, and an average actor if it was a part that contained whimsy and self-deprecation.

I was in a sense, a jack-of-all entertainment trades.  Nothing fancy, but as is typical with white guys, very workman-like.  I was all about nothing and at the same time all about everything.

And LIVE tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio, the IWS Radio Show will broadcast an episode that is very much like me…very…Convy-esque.

They will cover everything from terrorism to football, from bad music to bad weather, from the goings on up during their winter retreat at Hodgepodge Lodge to the unsuccessful unseating of the orange man himself, John Boehner.  In fact, their press release person summed up tomorrow’s show this way…

The holidays are over and the bitter polar air of January has its icy grip upon the country.  Hot topics come to a stall at this time of year, and it often seems as though there is nothing to talk about.

Well…nothing in particular to talk about, but plenty of things to talk about in general, and that is why Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio team are meeting at Hodgepodge Lodge outside of Bemidji, MN. for a winter retreat.

IWS Radio is celebrating winter activities, the NFL Playoffs, the NCAA Football National Championship, and discussing the terrorist attack in Paris, as well as John Boehner’s orange skin, the flaccid Tea Party attempt to unseat him, and shocking headlines and anecdotes from Redneckville, AR. and Bagwine, OH.

Anything goes at Hodgepodge Lodge, and this week is no exception as laughter, bad music, and satirical shenanigans ensue as IWS Radio breaks the ice with biting wit and a warm smile for all.  So, join them and call-in at 661-244-9852.

I hope you all listen live and call-in tomorrow between Noon and 2 PM ET.  You’ll be doing yourself a favor and will realize that average and shallow coverage of many events done by professionals such as Jay and Matt can be nearly as sexy and uproariously funny as me.

With Love From Heaven,

Bert Convy

To listen LIVE to the IWS Radio Shenanigans ‘n’ Such From Hodgepodge Lodge show tomorrow from Noon-2 PM ET click HERE.  

Driving The Storm Out

Cheeeeeeers, greetings, and to all of you panic-stricken, wetting your pants, curled up in a fetal position
while crying uncontrollably Marys out there…

Get over it!!  It’s winter in Ohio and believe it or not, sometimes it snows in January.  In fact, snow is such a common event during the month of January in Ohio, that perhaps you should be fucking used to it by now!!

Oh dear Lord…Bagwine, Ohio was in an uproar Monday as the National Weather Service issued a Winter Storm Warning for the area and predicted that as much as…are you sitting down…THREE to FIVE inches of snow may fall between 10 PM last night and Noon today.

Three…to Five…inches…people!!

The NWS may as well have said that eighteen feet of acid-enriched snow formed from atomic heavy water will cascade down upon Bagwine, Ohio cloaking the denizens of our fair city beneath a shroud of death and destruction unseen since the days long ago when the armies of Alexander the Great pummeled and plummeted ninety percent of the known world.

On cue, the fearful folks of Bagwine began storming every grocery, convenience store, gas station, and bank in order to prepare themselves and their out of wedlock livestock before the coming meteorological apocalypse arrives.

Whenever there is a threat of an inch or more of snow ‘round these parts, people think it’s 1847, and unless they make it to Jedidiah’s Dry Goods and Tannery before the snow flies, they will perish just like those poor folks did while trying to navigate Donner’s Pass.

People flip out during a snow event, and even more so…the local news outlets break out the ratings drum and bang on it incessantly, driving their moribund audience down the road to the intersection of where Hysteria Lane meets Bonehead Boulevard.  However…

The local news experts offer their audiences vital and important tips on how to survive the White Death.  Tips such as…

Slow down when driving…Leave a few minutes early…Bring in the elderly and water your pets…and of course my favorite winter storm tip of all…

If you don’t have to go anywhere, stay home.

Y’know? I've been thinking about that tip, and I think that if you have nowhere to go, and yet decide to drive around during a period of moderate snowfall and slick road conditions, you should do just that.

I mean c’mon…

Don’t let the lame stream media control you.  Stand up for yourself, and drive whenever, wherever, and under whatever conditions you choose.

If a mere three-five inches of snow keeps you from driving to somewhere that you didn’t really need to go, the terrorists win.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
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MSJS: Wholesome Is The New Smut

Matt confesses.  Jay repents.  You…are skeptical of their new found wholesomeness.

Matt:  Hola.
Matt:  Hola?
Jay:  Helloooooooo?  Anyone there?
Matt:  What up dawg?

Jay:  M’eh nothing much and you?
Matt:  Let me tell you…I have already done the dishes, shit, showered, and dressed for the day!!

Jay:  I’ll alert the media.
Matt:  Thank you.

Jay:  Last Sunday’s fucking, sucking, and ass ramming smut show was kind of uncomfortable.
Matt:  I know.  I still feel dirty about it.
Jay:  We need to cleanse our minds, bodies, and souls this week.

Matt:  You mean do some type of confession and repentance show?
Jay:  Well sorta…We should do a good, wholesome, family fun type of show.
Matt:  I’m always up for some wholesome family fun especially if a hot sister is involved.
Jay:  No…No…We have to move past that smut and talk about good things…pure things.
Matt:  Alright.

Jay:  We could do a few mea culpas for being sinners at times.  Kinda like going to confession.
Matt:  As you know, I was raised Catholic, so confession brings back some fond memories.
Jay:  Fond memories, or memories of being fondled?
Matt:  See?  See?  We can’t go there this week.
Jay:  Damn.  You’re right.  My bad.
Matt:  We could talk about religion and how it helps us out and/or makes us laugh.

Jay:  Hell…We could rank religions by their wholesomeness.
Matt:  Brilliant!!

Jay:  We could read some of the wholesome goings on in our town from our local newspapers.
Matt:  That’s always a good, Andy, Barney, Mayberry kind of wholesome time right there.
Jay:  IKR?  Maybe Schmoop could show up with some fried chicken from the deli.

Matt:  I dunno, but she did have a couple of incidences where IWS Radio took over her life.
Jay:  Oh my…I hope she is alright.
Matt:  She survived, and we’ll discuss.

Jay:  I think perhaps Rev. Moneymaker should add his liturgical voice to this show.
Matt:  By all means, as will Slyder Balzcock.  That man is the epitome of wholesome.

Jay:  He is, and I’ll get Drew Peacock to show his wholesome side this week also.
Matt:  Drew Peacock?  Does he have a wholesome side?
Jay:  I guess we’ll find out Sunday.

Matt:  Wow this is turning into quite the wholesome extravaganza!!
Jay:  And dig it…Triple Jaxxx will have a song for us yet again.
Matt:  Be still my heart…When I think of Jaxxx, I think wholesomeness.

Jay:  I think we’re ready…This going to be a kick ass…er, loving pat on the butt wholesome show.
Matt:  I am with ya my wholesome friend.
Jay:  Let’s do iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

To join Jay, Matt, and the hilarity with the rest of the IWS Radio Team as they broadcast their, Good Wholesome Decent Family Fun Show episode LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET tomorrow on Blog Talk Radio…click HERE!!