IWS Person of the Week: FOX and Friends Host Anna Kooiman

We’re only four days into 2015 and already we here at IWS Radio have a pretty good idea who will end up being Time Magazine’s Person of the Year for 2015.

She has brains, talent, sexiness, and above all, journalistic teeth unseen since the hey day of Woodward and Bernstein.  The assuredly future Time Magazine Person of the Year for 2015 is our IWS Person of the Week, none other than the brainy and beautiful Fox and Friends anchoress…

Anna Kooiman!!

Anna knows that when covering breaking news, sometimes one must sacrifice one’s own vanity and personal naughty bits in order to grab the dirty truth of a headline…

Ms. Kooiman is also multi-faceted in her coverage of the news, as she can display a variety of emotions…

Anna Kooiman is quite the athlete and fitness instructor as well, and keeps healthy by drinking plenty of water which enables her to cover the news 24/7…

First and foremost however…in spite of her beauty, intellect, and high-profile position, Anna isn't afraid to get her hands dirty in order to break the truth about international celebrities and political power brokers…

So here’s to Anna Kooiman, our IWS Person of the Week.  She’s a woman on the rise and a woman who cannot be out FOXed!!

For more great Anna Kooiman news and a penultimate celebration of National Trivia Day join Jay, Matt, and the entire IWS Radio team as they broadcast LIVE today from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.

Jay and Matt will be offering trivia questions and prizes to the audience along with recapping New Year’s Day, college and NFL football, and looking ahead to the Year of Jayman in 2015 as they engage in their Trivial Pursuit of Happiness show.

Be sure to check out the I’m With Stupid podcast! The #1 Comedy Show on Blog Talk Radio!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

IWS Person of the Week...Satan!!

Happy Halloween season and who better to be the IWS Person of the Week than none other than that man of macabre mysticism and netherworld narcissism known as Satan!?

That's right, Mr. Satan...be he known as Satan, The Devil, Lucifer, or Nimrod...Satan is the dirty bomb, and our IWS Person of the Week.

Sure, he can appear to be creepy as he truly is...

But he has noteworthy powers such as taking on the looks of anyone or anything he desires.  Sometimes he shape shifts himself into a singular human being...

When this happens, sometimes, little children find him incredibly cute...

Once in a great while, he will appear to a doting public as a mere two-headed hydra of adorable proportions...

And then again, with anti-Christ hate deep within his non-soul, Satan often appears as an ill-informed and unholy trio as he mocks not only the Holy Trinity itself, but common sense as well...

So...Here's to Satan as we make him our IWS Person of the Week.  The Devil's Food Cake cake is on us.

And for more Halloween frivolity...Join Jay, Matt, and the IWS Radio Players as they celebrate all things ghoulish during their Halloween Spooktacular and Boobie Show LIVE TODAY from Noon-2 PM ET on Blog Talk Radio.

Listen LIVE and call-in at 661.244.9852 and celebrate Halloween with the funniest show on the BTR Network.

To listen LIVE click HERE!!

Observations, Epiphanies, and HUGE Heads

Over the past week or so I have noticed some things that disturb, confound, or just make me sit up and take notice.  I offer unto you a few observances that I haven’t spoken out about that have made me go Hmmmmm?

So if I may indulge myself upon your time on this gorgeous Tuesday, let me impart unto you those things that I have recently noticed.

I have always known that Brian Kilmeade…I mean, Brian “Women Can Get Pap Smears at Walgreen’s” Kilmeade is not a bright man, but I never knew he had an inane solution to end the problem of women such as Mrs. Janay Rice, getting beaten up in elevators…He said, “The Message is…next time take the stairs.”

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell said Monday that the latest Ray and Janay Rice video in the elevator that showed him punching her, was the first time the video had been seen in the NFL offices.  He then paused for a micro-second and added, “by all of us.”  Am I the only one who caught that odd addendum?

Chuck Woolery does a TV commercial for an arthritis/pain relief ointment called Australian Dream.  I have now seen that commercial numerable times and you know what I take away from that ad?

Chuck Woolery has a HUGE head.  I mean his noggin is GINORMOUS.  That boy has got one Sphinx-Sized think melon!!  Holy Shit!!

In other commercial related news…during the morning shows that I watch, I am now seeing a government PSA by the Department of Energy or something that gives tips on how to save on energy and on energy bills.

One of the tips tells people to turn DOWN their A/C (and shows the thermostat going down) when leaving the house…really?  You should actually turn the thermostat UP in order to reduce the running of your A/C unit.

Last night, I saw a report published via Twitter by a fave of the IWS Radio Show one Ezra Klein, that says that 50% of women in America have been physically abused.  And what did I take away from his report?

While I don’t think that that is true, I do think that 100% of “news” organizations will jump on a headline bandwagon any chance they get.

Lastly?

This past Sunday’s IWS Radio Show about feminism ‘n’ such is doing really well.  We thank everyone for listening live, and if you have a moment, give the show a listen in archives.  It has some really funny moments and we would appreciate your support.

You can catch this past Sunday’s show by clicking HERE.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
Be My Facebook Friend…Please?
Tweet Me Like You Mean It

Son of God: The Movie

Hiya Chuckleheads…This is the Matt-Man, and today I am spreading the good news of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

That’s right…Just like the parishioner patriots over at FOX News, I am here today to tout the forthcoming movie that revolves around Messianic miracles…a movie so SHOCKING, yet inspiring, and never before seen on screen…

The movie to which I refer?

Son of God.

Damn right…The 20th Century Fox movie, Son of God, based upon the successful HBO miniseries, The Bible, will be released this Friday, February 28th in theaters nationwide.

Son of God is produced by legendary TV guy, Mark Burnett, and his quasi-hot, actress wife, Roma Downey, of Touched by an Angel fame…

Well?  For some strange reason, the FOX News network is all over this, and have invited the Jesus producing couple onto their network nativity 24/7 the past few days, in order to promote the Son of God movie.

I understand the network promoting a movie by a sibling company, but Jesus Christ, FOX News has been all over the release of this movie like the lips of Judas upon the Son of God’s cheek.  And…FOX’s coverage is nearly as wet and grotesque.

The other night, Sean Hannity had a forty member or so “focus group” on his show, in order to critique the Son of God film which they were allowed to preview.

The focus group, made up of diverse right-wing Christian Conservatives such as Sean Hannity himself, gave it eighty thumbs up!!

I would have thought there might have been at least one Judas in the “diverse” focus group who only gave it one thumb up, but…no.  Praise Jeebus!!

I know…I know…

FOX News is praising this movie because it allows them to sing to the choir of their demographics.  Right-wing…Christian…God-Fearing people who everyday hear from FOX News, that Christians are day by sad Muslim loving day, being diminished, discriminated against, and ostracized, because well…

The 2-8% of non-Christians in America have been, and continue to, deface nativity scenes, kick Santa Claus out of cancer centers, and have sucked the once-powerful truth serum of laying one’s hands on the Bible prior to giving testimony during a court proceeding.

Fucking non-Christian antagonists!!

I understand where Hannity and FOX News are coming from.  They talk about how that Liberal snake-pit of Hollywood has failed to release a movie about the life of Jesus from birth to resurrection since the Greatest Story Ever Told was released some 49 years ago.

Oh sure, there have been more than a few dozen movies about Jesus in the meantime, but none that have covered his entire life from manger to ascension…and like most of my fervent Christian friends like Sean Hannity and William Donohue, I too, have found that troubling.

Not a day has gone by since 1965 that I haven’t cursed Hollywood for not making an updated, uber complete, life of Jesus movie.  It’s what I longed for, ever since FOX News told me to.

Ha…whatever.

FOX News exists in order to generate ratings and revenues like any other network, and currently they are doing it by playing the Son of God movie angle to their viewers.

That’s fine by me…however, I do have a bone to pick about this movie being heralded by FOX News to be the ENTIRE story of Jesus…

Jesus is supposed to come back one day; so, the movie is not complete, nor his story over.  And if, and when, the J-Man does come back…

Will he appreciate you guys at FNC exploiting his good will in order to pump up your ratings?

I don’t fucking think so.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
My Facebook Page

IWS Person of the Week...Fox and Friends Elisabeth Hasselbeck

If it's Sunday, it's the IWS Person of the Week and this week?  We have bittersweet news for all of you Fox and Friends followers.

It seems that Gretchen Carlson died Friday and come Monday morning, one uber-licious right-winger Elisabeth Hasselbeck, will be replacing Gretch's ignorant fat ass on the F&F more than curvy couch alongside Steve "Einstein" Doocy, and Brian "My Smile Is Ten Times Larger Than My IQ" Kilmeade...

We here at IWS Radio regret the passing of Gretchen Carlson, but eh...her lineage and tradition of hardcore, get to the facts journalism will live on in former reality TV star, Elisabeth Hasselbeck...

Elisabeth has cut her journalistic teeth on The View, and is now ready to enter the no-cleavage barred world of FOX News...

Roger Ailes loves lonnnnnng legs at FOX News, and Lis-Has has plenty to spare...

When Elisabeth Hasselbeck found out she would be sitting in between Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade every morning, her reaction was, "Really!?"...

And yet our golden-haired, deep-cleavaged, blonde, right wing adorable Kewpie Doll, Person of the Week, said...

"My loser half-assed Ouarterback husband, Tim Hasselbeck is a sports pundit, and somebody has to make a splash, and pay the bills so here I am dong morning television and asking for Obama's birth certificate!!?"

So here's to Elisabeth Hasselbeck.  If she tries really hard, or not even not all that hard...she could come off as looking smarter than the late, great Gretchen Carlson.

Annnnnnnnnd...To catch some really smart and funny radio tomorrow, join Jay and Matt on Blog Talk Radio LIVE from Noon-2 PM ET today as the celebrate Food, Sex, and Farm Animals on IWS Radio.  It is sure to be another Number One show as long as you help out.

You can catch all of IWS Radio's festivities  LIVE today by clicking HERE.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

Cheeeeeeeeers Chuckleheads!!  Matt-Man here writing on this here IWS Radio blog for the first time in, oh I don’t know…since this past Sunday.

Holy Cow!!  That’s like a century in dog years…I think.

Anyhoo…

On the IWS Radio Show this past Sunday, I mentioned to Jayman that we should take a couple of days off from the website, so I could do some things that tighten up our IWS brand, and tie up some loose ends as far as our You Tube page which is under my name and not the IWS Radio name.  And plus…

We could relax for a few, and let out a nice big Social Media sigh, and then come back refreshed.

I stated that merely taking Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off would be good for our souls, our creative juices, and I could fix our You Tube page.  Jayman, while not necessarily agreeing, acquiesced.

So…

After Sunday’s show, my best friend Schmoop and I drank, played music, and talked about rearranging furniture.  The Schmoopster was scheduled off and has been off, all her life week, so she would do that, and then?

We ate Johnsonville Brats…and lots of them.

Monday, I had to go to work…go to work with a hangover.  It wasn’t that bad until, I got THE PHONE CALL.  On the other end of the line was a crazy woman who was insisting that I should pay her $100.00 a week in order to help her put our son through college.

Her argument was built on a pile of sand, but she quickly and convincingly firmed up her philosophical treatise, and won me over to her side by calling me immoral, and labeling The Schmoopster, as homely.

So Monday night, drunk on the euphoria of being on a quasi-vacation and the lyrical tones of the crazy woman’s voice in my head, I had a couple of beers, a frozen pizza, and then went to bed.

Tuesday was awesome, because I only work Noon-5 on Tuesdays.  Sure it was raining, but my adorable, college bound son showed up at The Beer Mine needing $200.00.  I gave it to him, and after a couple of moments nervous of laughter, he went on his way.

When I got home shortly after 5 PM I walked into the Bagwine digs and the furniture had indeed been rearranged by The Schmoopster and it looked awesome, however…The cat was none to pleased.

I had a couple of drinks, and then before I knew it, it was 6:30 PM and it was time for Jayman and I to be interviewed by Katie D on her Blog Talk Radio Show.  We were there.  We were pithy, and then…

Ol’ Katie ran out of questions, cut the interview short, and the evening took a turn for the worse.

It turns out that the adorable, yet awkward interview was a result of Jayman and I, especially me, threatening the young Miss Katie through our penchant for answering the questions that Miss Katie asked.

I think it was my answer to her question, “How did your show come about?” and I responded, “Jay sent me an e-mail.”, that sent the young ingénue’s protector and psychotic sansei into a verdant and virulent attack upon my character upon the timeless timeline of my Facebook page.

With my good name besmirched by accusations of pedophilia and felonious assault, Schmoop ate and went to bed, and shortly afterwards, I ate and went to bed.

On top of all of that heartache, I was crushed to find out that Gretchen Carlson will no longer be on Fox and Friends in the morning, as her gravitas, and journalistic instincts necessitate a primetime afternoon show, and she will be replaced by Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

So much anguish…I have had better vacations, but it’s not a total loss.

The re-arrangement of the Bagwine digs looks awesome.  Ryno and I are meeting for pizza tonight at The Hut, and…

Looking back on these past few days of vacation?  I know that I am living the thug life.  Word!!

Oh the You Tube thing that was the impetus for all of this?  Eh, I never really got around to that, but trust me, I will.

After all, I am one immoral son of a bitch who lives with a homely chick, and that’s how we roll.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
mattmaniws@ymail.com
@mattman_iws
Matt’s Facebook Page

More People We've Had Enough Of

Cheers Bitches!!

Yesterday, Jayman wrote about some people with whom he’s had enough.  He ended his insightful and biting piece of commentary with…

“I could go on, and on, and on. But, I won’t.”

I certainly understand that, however…I will pick up where the Jayman left off.

Hey Ray Lewis, Tim Tebow, other footballers, baseballers, basketballers, and NASCAR, um….ers…After a big play or a big win, don’t say it was God’s will and/or, He was watching over you. God doesn't give a damn who wins a football game, hits a home run, or nips another inbred driver at the checkered flag.

You can have, and enjoy all the personal faith and religion you want, but seriously?  When you say shit like that in your post-game interview?

God is looking down upon you saying, “What an asshole, I didn't even know they were playing today.”

There are a lot of Republicans not feeling the love of Obama wanting former U.S. Senator Chuck Hagel (R-NE) to become his next Secretary of Defense.  Why is that?

Because among other things, Sen. C-Hage doesn’t kowtow to the Israeli lobbyists, and once said…

“The Jewish lobby intimidates a lot of people up here…. I’m not an Israeli senator. I’m a United States senator.”

GASP!!  Hagel doesn’t put Israel above all other nations, nor his own!?  Blasphemer!!

Y’know?

People who are appalled at that statement, need to shut the fuck up. Fuck both the government of Israel, and the U.S. legislators who are outraged when anything bad, or in this case, neutral, is said about the Israeli government and their biblical and svengali-like hold over the UNITED STATES Congress.

Hell…If Republicans and evangelicals had their way, Jerusalem’s answer to Terri Schiavo, one Ariel Sharon, would be our next U.S. Defense Secretary.

I thought Republicans were against Obama and his trip down Socialist Lane.  If  Republicans despise socialistic handouts, why are they not outraged that Israel is nothing more than a Middle East crack whore looking for a U.S. handout to the shofar tune of 80 Gazillion shekels a year?

Hey all of you self-absorbed morons who come through the Beer Mine while talking on your cell phone and have the audacity to give the, “Wait a minute finger.”  You are not that important, and I will tell you so and to move along, and if you want to complain to the owner?

Don’t bother…He’s not nearly as nice nor as diplomatic about that as I am.

Facebook?  Women on Facebook drive me nuts with their, "Women are special, but it takes the right man to see that."  Pfffffffft.

Women aren't any more special than men.  Some women are cunts, and some men are dickheads.  We're all human and some of us, including women, are assholes. You want equal rights?  Well, accept your equal rights, responsibility, and the fact that some of you are hideous, unlovable psychopaths.

Twitter People?  I love comments, retweets, and the like, but if it is in reference to something I tweeted six hours ago, just refrain from tweeting me something to the effect, “I absolutely agree, Matt-Man. Ha!!”

I will not have a clue as to what I said that you agree with.  I mean…I appreciate it and all, but six hours after the tweet?  Merely appreciate my tweet amongst yourself.

Don Imus, Sean Hannity, Ed Schultz, Rachel Maddow, and the Three Stooges on FOX and Friends in the mornings have their heads and egos up their asses so far, that they get hair on their tongue.

Especially Gretchen Carlson…Oh Dear God…That chick is proof positive that you need not be pretty on the inside nor the outside to be voted, Miss America.  Uuch.

Oh, and Lance Armstrong?  Just shut the hell up and change the name of your foundation from LiveStrong to LiveJuiced.

Cheater...pussy...crybaby...

Okay…I guess I am done for now…There are so many other people whom I have had enough of, but as Jayman said yesterday, I too, will simply say…

“I could go on, and on, and on. But, I won’t.”

Cheers!!
Matt-Man

mattmaniws@ymail.com
@MattMan_IWS

Sarah Palin...Happy Fourth of July

Five, six, seven, eight….You betcha, and right, okay?

Sarah Palin here for IWS.

I know…you are all a thinkin’….what has happened to Sarah Palin?

Well…nothing good, but Jayman and Matt-Man have graciously allowed me to comment on the airwaves of their blog, and asked me to someday post on their radio show, so ima gonna make full use of their inconveniences.

Next week marks our nation’s 122nd birthday, and as we were back then, an unincorporated land, Thomas Jefferson finally had the balls to scream to the world…

“The Gay Nineties have arrived, could we please put an end to British buggery, and their colonization of the Americas, sans Belize…Belizean chicks are HOT, and even hotter since those darkies have a British accent.”

TJ knew what was what, however, a fellow Republican, one Bill McKinley, said…well Bill didn’t say much…he got assassinated by a rogue Indian’s arrow whose family grew up to watch MSNBC, so I guess you could say that that Ohioan was actually a, By-Gone-Again.

Ha…My retarded son would like that joke….if he could read, but I digest….Anyhoo…

When George Washington Carver was elected President, he was so big on the peanut, that his Vice-President, Billy Carter became President after him, I think.  Okay maybe not, but anyway…

As a southern girl from below the arctic circle of Alaska, I love my Dixie guys, but c’mon?  Billy Carter?

Oy, if Billy Carter owned slaves, they would have either all run away or beat him over the head with empty bottles of Colt 45, what a dumbass…he had it so good and now look at him.  Well, look at what he was…Is he dead?

Anyway, I want to salute our brave men and women fighting people who are defending us against terrorism in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Turkey.

Oh those Turks…give them an Ottoman and the next thing you know, they are propping their feet all over you. Ha…Get it?

See?  I can be funny.

Anyway, on these days leading up to our nation’s birthday, I am blessed to know that Chief Justice John Roberts struck down Obamacare.

We all knew that it was unconstitutional, and when CNN and FOX news blasted out that it had been ruled unconstitutional, I was one happy momma of a sexually loose and drunk child named Bristol.

And truly?

That’s all I want.

Your Favorite Eski-Ho,

Sarah Palin

neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws

Are You Ready for Some Football: ESPN Drop Kicks Hank Williams, Jr. to the Curb

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Kiss Mah Ass, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!

Hank Williams Jr. here for I’m With Stupid.

I reckon by now y’all heard that ESPN and their wet nurses at ABC have dropped me and my, “Are You Ready for Some Football?” song from the opening of Monday Night Football.

Ohhhhhhhhh Yeahhhhhh, Hmmmmm-huh.

I was on Fox and Friends the other morning talking to that chick with the molasses face and those two horses’ asses, when I said some things that offended some of the folks of the Liberal persuasion.  Hmmmmm-uh.

I told Gretchen Carlson that Obama and Boehner playing golf together was akin to Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu.  Network suits and Cypress huggin’ crybabies were barkin’ like hound dogs with their tails ‘neath a John Deere mower because I ‘ledgedly compared Obama to Hitler with my remark.  Hmmmmm-uh.

Evidentially, my ironical humor was lost on those East Coast eggheads.  

See, the jocularity of my statement lies in that fact that not a single damn private country club in America would allow a Jew like Netanyahu to even play a round on their golf course. Do I gots to ‘splain everything to y’all?

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Boceeeephus, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!  Anyways…

I went on to call Obama, “the enemy”…Well Hell, c’monnnnn folks…Obama is nothing but a sham of a President, and an illegitimate political plant sent by those who would harm the U. S. of A.  

Do you think it’s a coincidence that a little over a year after his white mama and Kenyan baby daddy gave birth to Obama that the political suspense movie starring Frank Sinatra came out?  

Man, what was that movie called…um….The Hungarian Candidate, yeah that‘s it.  Hmmmmm-huh.

If that's just a damn "coincidence", Alabama ain't the best college football team in the U. S. of A.

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Bear Bryant, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!

Hell…If you were’s to knock me on anythin I said during that interview, knock me for calling Obama and Biden, “The Three Stooges.”  

I may be a simple God-Lovin’ country boy, but I do know two from three.  That miscue weren’t my calculations; it was the Jack Daniels figurin’.

And…Let that be a lesson to ya, all you youngins out there.  Drinkin’ and Cipherin’ don’t mix.

Yeeeee Hawwwww, Hole Numbers, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!  Anyhollar…

That’s what got me into trouble with ESPN…It’s a damn shame, ‘cause y’know?

I remember back in the day when ESPN stood for Entertainment and Sports Programming Network.  Today?

I guess it stands for Estrogen-laden, Skirt and Panty-wearin’ Nuckleheads!!  Hmmmmm-huh.  Anyhoodle…

I may appear Saturday night on Matt-Man and Jayman’s IWS radio show…haven’t decided yet.  

I guess they're gonna talk about that chick who was in the dago jail…talk about some dude named Yom Kippur, and perhaps touch on Columbus Day which honors the day in 1492 when Hispanolians were introduced to Europeans, Small Pox, and Syphilis.

M’eh…We’ll see.  Anyway…

I have to goin's sleep off my second of five daily hangovers, so if you need me, you can contact Matt-Man at:

neshobadude@yahoo.com

http://twitter.com/#!/MattManIWS

And remember…

Yeeeee Hawwwww, FOX Rawks, and Rolllll Tiiiiide!!