Hola Sports Fans! We are only a few days away from one of
the greatest sports spectacles in the world, Super Bowl XLVIII! At 6:30 (ish)
pm ET on Sunday, the Seattle Seahawks and Denver Broncos will do battle in
front of hundreds of millions of people all over the world. Only a handful of
those people will actually give a damn who wins, but it will be fun anyway.
The NFL continues to be far more marketing style over actual
football substance. The product on field rarely even comes close to the hype,
although this match up does look like a great one. Despite the fact that NFL
ratings continue to go up, up and away, the league is not without its problems.
Chief among those problems is how much more dangerous the game is today and how
much more we know about those dangers, especially to the brain. While the
ratings go up, more and more parents are questioning whether they will allow
their sons to play football.
There is also the problem of the game becoming increasingly
too expensive for people to attend. Tickets aren’t cheap, parking is an outrage
and if you want a hot dog or beer from the concession stand you’ll need to take
out a small loan. Combine that with the fact that watching the game form home
on your own large HDTV is soooooo much more comfortable and it’s easy to see a
real attendance problem developing in the near future for the NFL. This is
especially true as the phrase “in this economy” stretches into its sixth year
of being a legitimate excuse not to spend money on “luxuries.” And of course,
this is where the NFL’s idiotic blackout policy drives people to watch games
via illegal online streaming.
And let’s not forget that every season we are subjected to
the most moronic “analysis” from all the brilliant football pundits out there.
The same pundits who marvel at the “athleticism and football instincts” of
black players while extolling the “high work ethic and intellectual approach to
football” of white players. According to them, this is still a game where black
QBs like possible first round draft pick Teddy Bridgewater of Louisville is
hilariously labeled as a “running QB” while so-called experts marvel at the
fact that Indy’s white QB Andrew Luck “is so big and can run so well.”
Oh and let’s not forget about HGH and the fact that the NFL
is probably going to have to find a way to deal with it that allows players to
use it when injured to help in their recovery. They do anyway, so why not make
it so that it could be monitored and less dangerous? Same goes for medical
marijuana. Come on, WE ALL KNOW IT’S GONNA HAPPEN!
Over the top marketing and commercialism, classism, racism,
violence and ignoring problems until they’re almost too big to deal with them
and the NFL truly is American’s Game. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Anyhoodle, as usual I have not been invited to any Super
Bowl parties so I went to Walmart today to get the stuff I needed for my own
little party. I’m going to have nachos, taquitos baked in the oven and a
burrito. Oh wait, I guess I won’t be having a burrito because NOBODY in town
had what I wanted. I don’t need a package of 12 burritos, I just need one. So,
I’ll have to live without the burrito and the disappointment is mad real y’all.
Believe it or not though, there are lots of people out there
who don’t give a damn about the Super Bowl or football at all. We call these
people America-hating, terrorist-loving, pinko-commie panty-wastes. No offense
intended, of course. But, if you happen to be one of these people, I have you
covered.
Maybe you could watch a movie? Perhaps, “Sleepless in
Seattle” or “Things to do in Denver When You’re Dead?”
Or you could read. Possibly the “Undead Kama Sutra” by Mario
Acevedo which is set in Denver, or go all out and read “Fifty Shades of Grey”
by E.L. James which is set in Seattle?
Maybe some TV would be more fun? Well, you could watch a
bunch of episodes of “South Park” created by Coloradans Trey Parker and Matt
Stone or, if you prefer humans, you can binge watch “Community” starring
Seattle native (kinda) Joel McHale.”
BONUS: Community’s Alison Brie…
Let’s see what the late, great Nipsey Russell thinks …
Super Bowl forty-eight is all set for the Meadowlands
Fans, celebrities and dignitaries will be on hand
But you should just stay home with a bunch of beer in your fridge
You never know when Chris Christie will close another bridge
Denver is a 2.5 point favorite, but I really have no idea
who will win. I suspect that the Broncos just have a little too much offense
for the Seahawks and will win something
like ….
Denver 27
Seattle 17
Enjoy the game everyone! Or don’t, what do I care?
